-Chris' POV-

It felt like the day was dragging along because my thoughts were eating away at me. I knew I was pushing it too far with Laura. I knew yet I couldn't help myself. Since the moment I got back and saw her all I wanted to do was pull her in my arms and feel her soft lips against mine. I wanted to feel the sweet sensation of heat and longing from our time spent apart. I thought I would get over her. I thought it was just lust from a broken, sick dream. But it wasn't. It was all real and the emotions flowing in my body wouldn't let me forget it.

I found myself alone in the hospital room. Granddad was asleep but I heard he was up and talking earlier this morning. That was good. At least that was something to smile about.

"Chris," Granddad's weak voice made me look up from my hands.

He was smiling up at me. "Hey old man, up from your slumber? You gave us quite a scare."

"You should have waved some chocolate under my nose. I would have been up sooner." His sense of humor was a light everyone was attracted to.

"How do you feel granddad?"

I could tell just by looking at him that he wasn't in the best shape. He was pale and weak but I was hoping in no pain.

"I feel like I'm dying." Granddad was never one to sugar coat or lie.

"You're not dying. You're just exhausted." I hated when he talked about death like it was no big deal.

"No, my boy I'm dying."

He knew I'd fight him on it so he threw me that stern, unquestionable look my father used to give me to shut me up.

"We're not going to sprinkle frosting over this. I know I don't have much time."

His military training was kicking in. There was no time for denial. He wanted to hear the facts and live the reality not on the chances.

"Unless we find you a new heart." He might be ready for death but I wasn't ready to lose him.

"No. I don't want that heart wasted on me. I lived a good life. I've loved and have been loved in return." He raised his hand to pat me on the shoulder. "I have been blessed and forgiven when I knew I did not deserve it."

"Granddad please don't talk like that." I didn't want to think about losing him. Not now.

"I know it's been hard for you Chris. Your father's death broke you and you've been lost ever since."

How did he know? No one knew that was the reason I was so messed up. It wasn't supposed to be an excuse for my horrible behavior but it was the truth. I had been covering it up, all the pain. I wore my strength for my family but especially my mother. Time was my enemy. Time was the thing that robbed me of my father.

"Don't give up granddad. Please. I can't lose you too." Hot angry tears were running down my face.

"Chris, my sweet troubled boy." He always saw through me. No matter how hard I tried to mask it. "Life is not meant to be easy. You know this better than any. There should be no time for hate or regret. For when a man is in despair that means he still believes in something."

Despair. I was in agony. I had been beating myself up for so long. Despair couldn't even compare to what I felt.

"I believe you can get better."

"Don't," he softly whispered. "It's my time Chris. I can feel it. It's almost time for me to see your father again."

Why was he doing this to me, torturing me with his talk of death? Was God punishing me? What did I do to deserve this? To lose two people I loved. I didn't want to bear it again.

"Granddad please don't go." My pleading was obviously useless.

Granddad had no control over his own death but he could try to fight it as long as he could.

"We can't hold on forever."

I took his hand and he shut his eyes for a brief second. When he opened them again he was brutally sincere. "Chris, I need you to promise me something."

I hated making promises. I always intended to keep them but somehow fate would intervene and force me to break it.

"Don't push everyone away." I wasn't exactly sure where he was going with this. "I know you have the tendency to shut down and hide from everyone around you. It's going to eat away at you till there is nothing left of you."

I felt like I had always been that way. It was natural for me to barricade myself from the rest of the world.

"What if I have nothing; I am nothing?"

Granddad shook his head, determined. "Nothing is an empty, hollow, emotionless pit of darkness. That is not you Chris; even though you may get confused that you are." He squeezed my hand. "You Chris have passion, hope, and will for life. You could never be nothing."

If only he knew. I was ashamed of the man I had become. I wasn't someone I was proud of. My family might be but that was because they didn't know the real me. There were dark parts of myself I couldn't stand.

"Promise me. Promise me you won't waste the time you have ahead. Make mistakes but remember to learn from them. Every mistake is like a lesson. Love; love with your whole heart otherwise it isn't worth loving."

How could I love someone when I couldn't even love myself?

"Grand I don't think I can be the man you want me to be. I've done some terrible things."

His warm understanding smile sent my worries miles away.

"We all have. No matter how far you've fallen, how deep you think you are you can always pull yourself back up. Darkness surrounds us because we allow it to. Don't let it consume your life. Don't let it tell you you're nothing. Be the man you want to be. Be the man YOU can be proud of."

It would be a tough and long journey but I'd do it for him. I needed more meaning in my life.

I left an hour later since grandma took my place. Watching her monitor his every breath, wondering if it was his last, was almost unbearable. Would I ever be that in love? She was hanging by a thread. There was no way she wanted to loose granddad. They had been married so long. How was she supposed to live a normal day without him?

Obviously it's been done before but the heartache to follow would take its toll on her. He was her lifelong partner; he was her best friend, partner in crime, lover, and I believed soulmate. I wouldn't have even believed in that word if it wasn't for them. They did absolutely everything together.

Our huge family was having a dinner. There were aunts, uncles, cousins, sisters, and brothers. We were gathered around the longest table I had ever seen but even with the room crowded to capacity there was still emptiness since granddad was missing. Yet it wasn't as depressing as I expected it to be. We were celebrating each other and touching on other subjects other than granddad.

Sarah, the new addition to the family, broke into the topic of Edith's wedding .That should lighten the mood.

"How are the preparations going?"

Edith was delighted to explain the glorious details. "It's going really well. The only thing left is picking out bridesmaid dresses and also the tuxedos for-"

She cut herself off, which was unusual for her. The guilt showering her expression made me guess what it was about.

"Go on. What is it dear?" One of my aunts encouraged her to finish.

"It's just that since dad isn't here anymore I wanted grandpa to walk me but I guess that won't happen."

I felt this rush of immense dread wash over me. I didn't want to talk about this right now. I didn't want to think about granddad not being at my sister's wedding. The more I thought about it the deeper I plunged into the pit of darkness I promised I wouldn't go into.

And suddenly I wasn't in the mood for company. I just wanted to be alone. I wanted to get lost in my own head because I was mad, disappointed, and hurt. I was being pulled into the forbidden place I promised myself I would never go to again.

I got up as they continued with their conversations. I tried slipping out unnoticed and I think I succeeded.

Why was this happening to me? Why was God taking away from me two of the most influential people in my life? First my father and now my granddad. I wasn't sure how much more I could take.

I was heaving deeply while running up the narrow path through the woods. It was a shady patch of woods right behind the house. I was familiar with the dark trees thanks to all the boyish adventures of my childhood. It was like second nature to me now.

I felt so out of control. I wanted to scream, to shout or find some way to let it all out. It was building up inside of me. I felt like it was my fault; like I could have prevented it.

I stopped running to catch my breath. The moon was high and bright in the sky. I felt like a wolf, crazed in the dark by an unseen villain. The villain being myself and my indestructible emotions.

I needed to calm down. I only knew of one thing to do that for me; or rather one person. I took out my phone and dialed her number. I just needed to hear her voice. That was all it took; it was all I needed.

-Laura's POV-

I didn't even recognize myself in the mirror. The dark purple satin dress Jamie picked out for me was stunning and definitely not something I would chose on my own. It formed to my body. I wasn't ashamed of my full figure because I did have decent sized boobs and a huge butt. I just didn't want any dimples showing. Could I wear spanks under this? Ugh. No. I needed to suck it up and maybe not eat anything greasy tonight.

I was good with makeup. I liked fooling around with it so much that I had perfected the contour and smoky eyes. It was a hidden talent of mine no one knew about because I hardly wore make up to work. I had no time for it.

I had a whole zoo parading in my stomach as I unlocked the front door. Will's eyes widened and his lips parted as he took in my full appearance.

He didn't say anything which only added to my anxiety.

"Do you approve daddy?"

His parted lips finally curved into a devious smirk. "You look amazing."

"Well I couldn't exactly let you look better than me tonight, now could I?"

He took my hand and kissed my cheek. "Everyone is going to be looking at you like eye candy."

"It will give you a break." But I wasn't the only eye candy.

Will looked so damn sexy in a suit. Maybe it was his confidence meshed with his sense of comfortability. It was like part of his skin, like he was born with a suit on. Will was edible and good enough to eat.

The ballroom was elegantly decorated with gold, silver, and black. I was sure I saw every doctor in the country present. Will wrapped his arm around my waist and led me towards a group of his colleagues. I was familiar with all of them but it was different seeing them dressed up instead of in white lab coats.

Will and I hadn't exactly publicized our relationship. Only close friends and family knew of our relationship. So it made me feel a bit strange since I was only a nurse. I could only guess some people thought I was using Will's power to advance myself.

Or to use his money once I convince him to marry me. I didn't care what others thought. Will was actually the one who came on to me. I said no at first because I was scared. We worked together. I didn't want things to get weird if we didn't work out. It happened gradually though. Will was such a charmer and so freaking nice.

He saw me struggling one night at work when everyone had gone. I was having such a horrible day and he noticed. Will calmed me down with some ice cream and of course my fat butt couldn't resist. I thought he'd be mad or purposely try to avoid me after I rejected him. Will was different from the very beginning. He helped me finish my paperwork and gave me his number just in case I had another mental breakdown.

I did call him and ended up relying on his answer and support. That was how it all started. We kept our lives private.

He introduced me to people I had never meet before. Everyone was nice, at least to my face. The conversations went fluently. Will was a smooth talker and most of the doctors in his group were just the same. They were confident of every aspect in their lives. I guess that was the key to their success.

The night went on and when Will went up to accept his award everyone was silent. Everyone in the room had great respect for him and it showed. His speech was powerful and flawless just like I expected it to be.

I sat at a table with Daniel and Demi. She was drop dead gorgeous. Daniel couldn't keep his eyes off her. I was so getting props for this match making.

When my feet started to hurt from my five inch heels I snatched up more wine. I was hoping it would dull the pain. Will was occupied talking to other doctors about his research. I didn't mind standing by him like a supportive girlfriend but I had done that for an hour and a half already. I could recite every detail of his data.

I snuck off onto the balcony. It was empty and I so badly wanted to peel off my heels. Would I be judged by hundreds of professional doctors? Probably. The little getaway was heavenly. I was tired of smiling and acting like I knew what they were talking about.

The moon and stars were now my scenery and I preferred their company. It felt like only seconds before my clutch started vibrating. Should I check it? What if it was Will looking for me?

The ID said Chris. Why would he be calling? Oh, no. What if it was his grandpa?

I answered quickly. "Hello." Please let him be okay. Please.

There was no reply on the other end. I took a deep breath before saying his name. "Chris?"

I could hear him panting now. He was having a difficult time controlling his breathing. But why? Something felt off. Come on Chris. Say something.

"I just," he paused. "I just needed to hear your voice."

He sounded so pitiful. What was going on?

"Are you okay Chris?" I should have asked about his grandpa.

"No."

No? He wasn't okay. Well I sort of already knew that. Something was seriously wrong with him. Why did he need to hear my voice? How was that going to help?

"I'm sorry Laura. I'm sorry for last night. I shouldn't have forced that kiss on you. I just..." He was struggling to find the right words. This was new. Chris was never at a loss for words.

"I needed you to see that it wasn't over between us. There's something still there and I'm not ready to let it go."

I shut my eyes and tightened my grip on the banister before leaning over. I needed to feel a breeze or something. Or maybe I wanted to jump over and end my torture.

"What do you want Chris?"

It was silent once again. I could practically feel his struggle. Maybe I already knew his answer. He would say he wanted me. If that were true then why didn't he try in the beginning? Why did he wait months? Why did he wait till I had a boyfriend?

"Are you outside?" I swore I could hear shuffling of leaves.

"Yes."

I was mesmerized by the moon and thought maybe he would be too. "Can you see the moon?" It was glowing far too bright in contrast to the night sky. There was no way to miss it.

"Yes," he softly replied.

"Someone once told me that God made the moon for those lost in the dark." He was lost in his own dark world. "You need to find your moon Chris. Before that dark twisted hole you made for yourself caves you in. It's going to swallow you up till there's nothing left."

I wasn't sure if it was my place to go there but someone had to tell him. I could deny it all I wanted but I really, truly cared for him. Chris had touched me in more ways than one; shamefully I admit. I shouldn't have let it get that far and intense. Physically we had a connection, emotionally I felt like I was slowing tapping into some place he never let anyone venture into.

I might be making it up in my head. I wasn't sure but here I was. Chris was coming back to me. Not anyone else. Not friend, family, or possibly an ex-lover, but me. He was calling me; to hear my voice, to what? Calm him down? There were parts of this puzzle I was missing.

"Laura I found my moon." He sounded so confident and sure.

I saw, from the corner of my eyes, Will coming from the ballroom. I didn't want to talk about this because I couldn't do this right now with him. This was Will's night. My boyfriend's night. Chris was not my priority.

"I have to go. Good bye Chris." I hung up before he could say anything else. He wasn't my problem.

"Are you alright Laura?" Will's voice was distressed. I hope not on my account.

"Yes. I just wanted some air. It was getting stuffy in there and all those big words were giving me a headache."

He strutted my way laughing. "I'm sorry. Do you want to leave?"

I kind of did but I wasn't going to be selfish on his night. If he wanted to stay I was going to suck it up like a good girlfriend.

"No. We're staying as long as you want. There's no curfew tonight." I was planning on sleeping over.

His arms covered me like a blanket. He probably saw the chattering of my teeth.

I knew this was horrible timing but quite quickly I was drowning in guilt. It was Chris' fault. He kissed me and even though I pushed him off me it still happened. I didn't want him to kiss me.

This was a big deal. Well not for me. It didn't mean anything to me. I didn't want it to mean anything.

"You're the best girlfriend, you know that right?"

Oh my gosh. Did he have to say that? It was like he knew; like karma was trying to mess with my head. If I didn't tell him now it would blow up in my face later.

"About that...I need to tell you something."

"Okay." He dragged the word in wonder.

How was I supposed to start this? "Remember before we started dating; when I was depressed and pitiful."

He gave me a strange look. "Where are you going with this?"

Come on Laura. You can do this. "And you thought it was because of a guy."

Will nodded, pulling away from me just enough to see my face.

"You were right. The guy from the other night, the friend I took home, the one who's grandpa has the failing heart..." I went on and on until one of the descriptions sparked his memory.

"Compton?"

I was actually pretty surprised he remembered a patient's name. He would see so many in a day. I wouldn't judge him if he couldn't recall. Will probably remembered Chris because of the attitude he gave Will in the beginning.

"Yes. His name is Chris Compton."

Will slowly nodded to give me some indication he was registering everything. His expression revealed no form of anger or jealousy. I didn't expect it too. Will trusted me. I trusted him.

"Chris Compton is the guy who messed you up?"

Messed me up? Was I that bad? I know I was a bit depressed and heartbroken. It was hard for me to get back to normal or to even think a guy wanted anything to do with me. I felt so disgusted with myself. I didn't technically go all the way with Chris but I felt so used.

I started to develop trust issues. I thought it was a joke when Will first asked me out. I hated even the idea of dating guys. In my eyes they all looked like Chris. I believed they wanted nothing more than to use my body. Will showed me otherwise.

"You can say that." I didn't want to lie to him and keep it a secret. "Last night I went to a party and Chris kissed me."

His brows knitted together. They only did that when he was thinking too hard.

"He kissed you," he needed confirmation.

"I pushed him off me. I would never do anything to hurt you."

It was true. I hated cheaters besides Will was too good of a man to be cheated on. I didn't want to ruin what we had. Especially for Chris freaking Compton. That asshole wasn't worth it.

"Did you feel anything when it happened?"

I had never given him any reason to doubt me or my affection for him.

"No." I didn't like talking about Chris and the only person who knew anything about our little secret romance was Demi.

I wasn't proud of it. Chris wasn't exactly ideal for me. We were toxic for each other. It was unhealthy.

"Chris treated me like an object. He used me and I fell for his sick game because I thought he changed. He made me foolishly believe I meant something to him. But in the end he broke my heart."

Chris was never going to change.

"So to answer your question no, I felt nothing. I won't let myself fall down that rabbit hole. I have you and that's all I need."

Will's hazel eyes were glowing with victory. He liked my answer and rewarded me with a kiss. His lips were firm and driven with urgency. He wanted me to fill his hunger and I was happy to. Will was everything I needed.

"I believe you." He whispered on my cheek.

His warmth and his touch were what I lived for. I tried not to compare them to what Chris and I used to have.

"You should try keeping your distance."

Will had never tried to control me or force me to do anything. It was a little unusual for him. Was he feeling a little insecure?

"I'm good friends with his family."

He rubbed my shoulders, his way of showing sympathy to my dilemma.

"I know. I'm not saying avoid them but maybe not find yourself alone with him. Chris seemed pretty attached to his grandfather. Perhaps that's what sparking the return of this flame you both had. He needs something or someone to confide in or distract him from his pain."

Will had also majored in psychology. He was analyzing the situation for a different perspective.

"Yeah you're probably right. I'll try to keep my space."

I could tell it thrilled him to have me agree with him. He wasn't wrong. I too believed Chris was only using me to avoid bigger problems in his life. Well I wasn't going to be his release any longer.