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What have I done…

My breath quickened and my heart started beating like it was running a thousand kilometers per second. I tried to put more pressure on my brain to remember what exactly happened last night. 

I was with Hazel drinking and she told me how Skyler is being mean to her and I said I will kick his ass for her then we met both of the evil men and suddenly I was in Jack's penthouse. I broke all his plates and splashed water on his face straight from my mouth. Then I was in the shower with him and then on top of him and kissing him willingly. 

My eyes widened in utter shock while terror took over me making my hands start shaking a little at that particular recall of memory. 

I kissed Jack willingly! 

What was I thinking? 

My cheeks turned the darkest shade of red in embarrassment. His smirk turned more evil after seeing my red face. My memory of yesterday nights was playing in cracks in front of my eyes like dark fogged clouds with not a single ray of sunshine. I tried to put more pressure to clear this fog cloud of my mind and remember what happened next but everything was blank. In my mind, it was pitch dark black after that particular memory it was like my sanity decided to abandon me at a cliffhanger. And this throbbing pain in my forehead was not helping me to remember anything more. 

God, why can't I remember what happened next after I kissed him? 

Perks of drinking like a madwoman. 

My inner voice taunted while rolling her eyes in mock. It made the pain in my head go to the next level. The more I tried to remember more painfully my head started to throb. I closed my eyes in distress while putting my hand on my forehead and tried massaging it but that pain was not going anywhere. Still caressing my forehead I opened my eyes and found him coming in my direction with the same evil smirk plastered to his face. 

My heart started beating very fast and I realized I was fully naked inside this blanket. Immediately I secured my one hand tightly around my chest which was already pressing a blanket to my wildly beating heart. He followed my actions with amused evil eyes but it didn't stop there; his eyes moved all over my body. It was like he could clearly see my naked body with his predatory eyes even if it was wrapped in a thin blanket. He stood in front of me with only his towel wrapped very low on his hips and then he bent his head to my level while not breaking eye contact for a second. His light brown predatory eyes made my body shiver at his deciphering sight. I swallowed hard when his dark hooded gaze met mine. 

"What are you trying to hide from me cupcakes?" He asked while caressing my cheek with the back of his fingers sending a spark of electric sensation to my body. "There is not a single inch of your body that I haven't seen last night," he said those words in his dark husky voice, making my heart sink to my stomach. I was totally bewildered after listening to his words. I wanted to cry my eyes out but I still tried to maintain my brave face. 

Nina, don't believe him he must be lying to you. 

I was waiting for him to laugh on my face saying it was a prank but he didn't say anything and it was increasing my anxiety by each passing second. 

"No, you're lying," I said in my uneasy impatient voice. I tried to glare at him but the water dripping from his hair caught my attention. It was dripping from his wet hair while tracing a line on his ripped mussels and going down very down. Nina, come back to your senses. I averted my gaze from that sliding droplet of water and looked at him not before composing myself because his words have started to have an effect on me. "I don't believe a single word out of your mouth," I tried to say in my firm voice but it sounds more like an uneasy voice. My sanity refuses to accept this. 

I will never accept that something happened between us last night. 

But you were kissing him willingly last night. 

My inner voice butted in her unhappy voice. At that thought, I bit my lower lip in bitterness. His hard hooded eyes moved to my mouth and it lingered there for a few seconds and then back to my eyes. His warm deep breath was fanning my cheeks causing a lump to form in my throat. 

"You don't believe my words, it's fine. Won't you even believe me after seeing your marks on me?" He said in a firm voice while taking my little shaking hand and placing it over bright red marks on his neck. My breath quickened as my fingers touched the warm skin of his neck and the scene from last night when I was biting his neck flashed in front of my eyes like Deja Vu. 

"Don't you believe this?" he asked while bringing his face an inch near mine. The scene of me kissing and biting on his neck kept running in front of my eyes putting me in a state of next level of shock. 

You kissed and left your mark in his neck willingly too. 

My inner voice yelled in her disappointed voice. This whole thing was making me want to wail like a kid but I hold my tears. I didn't want to believe what I was seeing in front of my eyes. I don't want to believe in his words and not even in my fogged memory. I want to believe in nothing. I moved my head in denial not even wanting to believe that I was setting in front of him wrapped in only his thin blanket. 

"You still don't believe me. Then what do you want to say about this" he said in a dominating voice. A gasp of horror left my mouth, making my eyes widened in anxiety. A whimper of terror was about to leave my mouth but I stopped it by putting my hand on my mouth. The sight in front of my eye kicked air out of my lungs making me breathless. He turned and looked at me with a serious face. "Don't you even believe in your nail marks on my back too?" he said in his firm voice and hard voice. There were bright deep red-blue nail marks on his back. 

W..what have I done? 

I was on the verge of crying my eyes out like never before. "You did this to me," he mumbled in his control voice while coming and sitting very near in front of me. I just don't know what's going on here anymore. 

I don't know why I caught myself in all this mess. I have lost so many things to him and now I have lost my most precious thing which I always wanted to share with the person I love with a person who wants and I want him back but now everything is so messed up. Everything is roaming in my head in haloes. 

"Y..you should have s...stopped me. I was drunk but y...you were n..not!," I accused him in my crying voice while stammering a little. I looked at him fiercely with so many unanswered doubts in my eyes. I saw how his jaw clenched listening to my accusation. 

"You think I didn't try to stop you. What do you think about how I got deep nail marks on my back" he asked in his firm voice. "I did my best to stop you but.." he didn't complete his sentence and averted his eyes to take a few deep breaths like calming himself. When he was done he looked at me and said in his soft voice "you forced yourself on me." His words left me speechless. 

"I...I did W..What?" I asked in my cracking voice not believing what I heard. His words made me question everything. 

"You forced yourself on me even though I tried my best to stop you," he said in his firm voice while looking straight into my eyes. I averted my eyes away from him because I couldn't stand his gaze anymore. He cupped my left cheek and made me look back into his eyes while his thumb was making lazy circles passing tickling sensation with each stroke. I wanted to run away from here but I didn't know how his mear touch was making me a little calm. I was taking deep breaths not to lose my last straw of senses. 

"What is done is done we can't change it now but we can make ourselves more prepared for what will come in further," he said in his soft voice while putting his hand on my stomach making my eyes almost come out of my eye socket in shock. I put my hand on my mouth from stopping myself from being more pathetic in front of him. I wrapped the whole blanket around me and ran to the bathroom before he could stop me. 

"Nina...Nina" he called my name to stop me but I didn't. Closing the door with the slam, I slid down on the door. I unleashed the dam of tears I was holding inside me from so long while sitting on the bathroom floor. His words were dwelling in my head like a big loud siren making my forehead throb like tons of weight was loaded on it in a fraction of seconds. 

"I forced myself on him," I said in my sob voice. 

"What did he mean by taking care of things. In the future am I going to be.." I sobbed hard at this realization. I didn't even have the courage to complete this sentence. A child with Jack. I forced myself on him and he is still ready to have a child with me. With the look in his eyes I know he wants it but what if I don't want it guilt was taking over me. I can't even process anything more in my mind. I sobbed even harder. 

Nina, stop feeling guilty about it. You were drunk, you were not in your right senses. You didn't even know what you were doing in that state of your mind. Stop blaming yourself alone because you were not alone doing it he was involved too. 

But he is ready to take responsibility. I don't know how I let this happen. I slept with a guy who hates me the most. I debated back in my mind feeling uneasy.  

So what! he better be taking it because you were not doing it alone he is at blame as much as you are and top on it, he is your fiance you did nothing wrong. Stop feeling guilty about it and think like a mature woman. 

It's not even confirmed that you are expecting anything, maybe it won't even happen so stop letting this guilt consume you. Stop crying and stop letting Jack see you in this state. Even if you had something last night he will still enjoy seeing how miserable you are by your last night's mistake. Nina, be strong and brave like you always are. 

My inner voice chanted these words in my head repeatedly. I took a deep breath to let lose all these doubts and anxiety in me. Thinking about the same thing won't change what happened last night. I have to be mature and do what I feel will be right. With this thought, I stood up and took a shower to clean all last night's traces from my body. 

As warm water touched my cold skin it made me instantly feel relaxed. After taking shower I felt a little better wrapping my hair with a towel and wearing his bathrobe. I came out of the bathroom as I had nothing else to cover my body. I saw him sitting on his bed only in his sweatpants busy with his phone. As he heard the click of the door he looked at me and slightly smiled at me. It almost made me go still in my place. I can't believe what I was seeing. 

Did he just smile at me? 

Then his eyes moved from my head to toe making a shiver run to my body. I could clearly see my bright red mark on his neck and back. Is he purposely doing to make me feel guilty then more than I'm now? I didn't spare him a glance and went directly into his wardrobe. I dried my hair with the towel and put it in a washing basket. I wanted to borrow his clothes so I could get out of here. I need to breathe the fresh air so badly. I slid the doors of his closet but as soon as I slid it I found my clothes present in his closet.

What the hell how my clothes came here. 

I remembered when he told me to pack my clothes but I never told my maids to do it. So did he himself ask them to do it. How dare he bring my clothes here without my permission. He is already being the pain in my forehead and now this. 

With these angry thoughts, I came out of the wardrobe to question him. I stood in front of him with a folded hand on my chest while fuming in anger. "What are my clothes doing in your closet," I asked fiercely while looking straight at him. Looking at me burning in anger he stood up from his bed while standing in front of me. 

"They are where they are supposed to be," he said in his dominating voice. The smile a few minutes ago was gone and now his jaw was clenched in anger. 

"No, they are not, they are supposed to be in my house, in my bedroom closet not here," I said while fuming more in anger. Already the things from the moment I opened my eyes were making me insane and now I won't take all of his tyrannical. I won't accept his manhandling. 

"They are in your house in your bedroom closet," he said in the same tone making me go speechless for a second. 

This my house. What is going on in his mind? I can't even judge how his evil satanic mind is working. 

The throbbing pain in my forehead shot to the next level. I won't agree with him on this matter. I was about to open my protesting mouth but he put his finger on my lips, silencing me completely. He pulled me to his hard chest by sliding his hand on my waist. He made me gasp a little at his sudden pull. Looking at my speechless state he came more near me and said in his firm voice. 

"Did you forget what you said when you accepted my proposal for being my maid. If you want those power of attorney papers you will stay here with me. So now it's your only house" he said in his firm dominating voice while making me look into his eyes. I don't know how I involuntarily nodded my head to his words. My gesture made him smirk in victory. "Now listen to your master like a good wild cat and get ready we have to go to Addam's place. Aunty Jeniffer has invited us for brunch," he said in his commanding voice while removing his finger from my lips. I again nodded at him unknowing and his evil smirk deepened, making me mad at myself. 

Why I lose my all functioning senses in his embrace. I think this is one of the reasons why I lost all my senses and did the things which I won't even do in my wildest dream. Before I could get out of his embrace he pecked my lips getting me totally off guard. It made my eyes go wide in surprises.  Taking it as my cue I ran out of his arm to back to his wardrobe to change into something which will cover me fully and protect me from his x-ray predator's eyes. Soon I got a change into one of my jeans and full sleeves turtleneck top. 

When he saw what I was wearing he grins while going to change into his clothes but before going in he whispered in my ear in his husky voice "I can still see the mole below your left breast very clearly" saying that he went inside the closet while kicking the air out of my mouth.

It clicked inside me that I can never make it undone the fact he saw me naked. He can still see my naked body even if I fully cover my body. I bit my lower lip in resentment and went to the kitchen to drink some coffee so it could lessen the pain in my head. I was standing with my back rested on the kitchen island and was sipping on my coffee with a little piece but it was ruined as he came out of his room dressed in his casual blazer with a turtleneck t-shirt as mine inside making me look at him with narrowed eyes. 

Is he trying to match our clothes? 

But soon my eyes caught a red mark on his neck which was trying best peeking out of his t-shirt. It made my cheeks burn red in embarrassment and all the things from last night's incidents flashed in front of my eyes. Coming near me he took the mug from my hand and sipped the coffee from it while looking straight in my eyes. I swallowed hard when he didn't break eye contact with me and kept sipping the coffee even though it was bitter black coffee. 

He was enjoying the red on my cheeks; it was clearly visible in his eyes. I want to get out of here. I lowered my gaze and moved away from him to get out of his house. As I touched the doorknobs a loud alarm started ringing making me flinch at its loudness. I immediately took away my hand from the doorknob and cursed under my breath. 

How did I forget he has fucking alarm on his doorknob? I want to meet a man who invented such a kind of security system. 

I felt him standing beside me as his cologne engulfed the air I breathed. He took my right hand and made me feed my fingerprints on the screen beside the door. When the computerized voice said access was granted he let go of my hand. 

"Let's go wild cat they are waiting for us" he whispered in my ear while his hot breath tickled my sensitive skin. Then he kissed below my ear making me hitched on my breath. 

Leaving me in my shock state he opened the door with a grin on his face and was out of the penthouse with me following him with my head low. I didn't want to look at his face. My eyes were moving to his neck like there was a magnetic pull between them. In the car, I didn't look at him and kept looking out of the car window. Soon we reached Addam's mansion and as soon as his car stopped I got out of it and went straight inside not waiting for me. 

"Nina dear I'm so glad you came" aunty Jennifer welcomed me as soon as she saw me at the door. I hugged her then went inside to say hey to uncle. Behind me, Jack and aunty followed me to the dining table. I was waiting for him to choose his seat so I could sit a mile away from him but he didn't take a seat and kept talking with the uncle about some business. Getting tired I took the seat and like he was just waiting for me to do it he came and sat beside me. 

Making me curse at my unluckiness. In some time Skyler came while flashing me his smile. I glared at him. I clearly remember what Hazel told me about him yesterday night. 'Sorry,' he mouthed with puppy eyes but I still glared at him. 'Please' he again mouths with puppy eyes making the corner of my lip turn upward. But I refuse to accept his behavior towards Hazel. As I was glaring at him I felt a firm hand on my thighs making me look at Jack with large angry eyes. His sudden actions made my heart beat fast and butterflies flew in my stomach even though I didn't like it. 

"Don't look at any other man and then too when I'm sitting beside you" he mumbled in his commanding voice. His words sent a shiver to my body as my eyes met with his hard light brown eyes. It was like he would go totally in a rampaging mood if I kept looking at Skyler for even a single second more. Our starting competition was broken when Jane came down. 

"Hey" everyone she said to all of us. 

"Where is Zanvil?" Aunty asked with a big smile on her face. 

"He will be here anytime," she said and took her seat. I saw how her cheeks turned red when she heard his name. Is my innocent friend not innocent anymore because I'm not. This thought made the headache come back and increase my sadness even more. I'm disappointed in myself. I will never drink again in my life. I promised it to myself with this sadness consuming me even more. I huffed in distress. Zanvil came in a few seconds as she said and took his seat beside his wife. 

"As all the loving members of this family are present here I want to thank you all of you guys for helping me in a wedding arrangement so much. It was all possible because of your guy's help. It became easy for me to manage everything so I wanted to thank you guys with this small brunch with each of one favorite food present on the table here digging in guys" she said with a bright happy smile. We all said thank you and started eating our food. I started eating while all of them were making small talk with each other. As we were eating the matter of a newlywed honeymoon kind of trip, the subject was brought up. I was not listening to it and eating to make go away this headache. Jane didn't want to go on this trip, it was clear. Then she suggested that all of us should go together. 

"Nina, what do you think? Will you come with us?" Jane asked with hopeful eyes. It was clearly visible she didn't want to go alone there alone with her devil husband. And I want to be away from my Satan fiance. 

Jack has worked so he won't come. Wow, it's a perfect idea I can stay away from him if I go with them. It's just what I need. 

"I'm in," I said without wasting any time. She smiled at me sweetly after listening to me. I smiled back in happiness. 

"I'm in too," he said, shattering all my happiness. He caressed my thigh while saying it, sending bolts of electricity to my body. I glared at him and he grinned at me making me ball my fist in anger. Now everyone was in the plan. 

Jane was so happy, smiling ear to ear and on other hand Zanvil expressions we're of grim. It was clear he didn't want anyone to butt in on this trip but now everyone was boarding this ship. 

Our baggage arrived from Jack's penthouse as we were leaving for farm hours today itself. Me Skyler and Jack were traveling in the same car. Jack was driving and he didn't like the fact that I chose to sit behind not beside him. He was driving the car while sulking like a kid. Between all of us, Skyler was the only one who was talking and me answering him in a single word. If I smiled a little bit at whatever Skyler said he glared at me with his sulking face from the front mirror. 

To avoid this I looked out of the car to let go of all the things which were building inside me. I don't know when I drifted to sleep. Skyler woke me up when we reached. I stepped out of the car and looked at the beautiful farmhouse in front of me. I hope I will be able to let go of the little weight of my chest here. 

"Nina," Skyler called my name, making me turn with a little jerk to look at him. His sudden action made last night's scene flash in front of my eyes. The fog in my mind of that particular memory was clear.  

He was looked at me with hooded eyes and said. "I'm not a saint to let you go if you play with me like this," he said in his dominating voice and crashed his lips to mine and this new burning sensation consumed me.

He told me I forced myself on him. When he was the one who willingly took advantage of my drunken state. I clenched my jaw in anger. He was making a fool out of me by stringing guilt in me. 

Than fucking lier.

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A/N

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Update for you guys

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Did really something happen between them?

All the signs say something did happen but Nina's memory is showing something else.

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