The wind was biting, cold and piercing. But inside, he felt warm and fuzzy, and his brain was scrambled like breakfast eggs. His stomach tingled and his fingers tugged on something, stringy and thick. His lips moving against something soft, warm, wet...

Then he heard the soft sound, like a suppressed groan, as two arms wrapped around him, pulling him into a hard body. Hard. Soft. Both. The warmness Jungkook felt in his stomach spread to other parts of his body.

"Jungkook," Jin whispered against his mouth, before deepening the kiss, his fingers digging into Jungkook's back.

His touch sent zaps of electricity jolting through Jungkook's entire body, making his heart race. Goosebumps rose to the top of his skin when one of Jin's hands held his behind the head, his thumb tenderly brushing the soft skin of Jungkook's cheek.

"Jin," Jungkook mumbled into the kiss, parting his lips slightly when Jin's tongue brushed against them. His heart dropped to his stomach when their tongues met. It was delicate but intense. Needy but patient. Like they'd both wanted this for so long but were going to take their time to explore and enjoy what they'd both craved.

Jin's lips left his temporarily, planting a soft kiss to the spot under Jungkook's ear. He swiped his tongue gingerly over the spot before tracing his lips back to Jungkook's mouth. His lips moved hungrily this time, his hands roaming Jungkook's body liked it belonged to him, more suppressed groans escaping the back of his throat.

It felt like a dream. Their lips joined together, their bodies molded so intimately under the cold air, with the millions of stars in the dark sky watching them. It felt like a dream because Jungkook had been in this moment before, at night, in his bed with his eyes shut.

He'd felt Jin's lips in his dream. He'd succumbed to Jin's touch in his sleep. He'd moaned to the image of lin's face in his head when no one else was present to see him touch himself. He'd woken up with Jin's name on his mouth.

But this dream was real. In this dream, Jin's mouth was softer than he'd imagined. His touch made Jungkook's knees weak. His kisses sent blood rushing to sinful parts of Jungkook's body. His lips were way more delicious. He loved this dream more. He loved himself more in this dream.

He could even admit to himself that he liked Jin in this dream. He didn't want to wake up from this dream. He didn't want to open his eyes to when he'd have to shove his feelings back into a deep, dark part of his heart. Where he'd have to pretend that he hated Jin. Where he'd have to act like every time Jin walked past him or stood next to him or just existed around him, he didn't want to melt from how good he smelled.

He wanted to remain in the moment where nothing else mattered.

When they pulled apart, one of Jin's hands was firmly planted on his waist while the other held Jungkook behind the head. They both breathed out heavily, trying to catch their breaths. Jungkook's eyes fell to Jin's lips that were swollen and red and perfect. His lips still tingled from their kiss. His heart still thudded in his chest. He could feel Jin's piercing gaze on him.

"Are you thinking of what to say to hurt my feelings now?" Jin asked.

Jungkook's brows pinched as he looked up to meet Jin's gaze. He shook his head and spoke. "Why would I?"

Jin licked his lips and took in a deep breath. "Whenever we have a breakthrough and it seems like things could be good with us, you freak out and you say the worst things," he said. "You push me away, like you said."

Right. "I'm not trying to hurt your feelings. It's just... It's just, this thing here right now..." He shook his head, his voice trailed. He knew what to say but not how to say it. Jin was wrong, he didn't want to hurt his feelings.
He'd never intended to. But every time, they made a breakthrough like Jin had said, he got overwhelmed by his feelings and he got defensive which made him unintentionally arrogant.

"It's forbidden?" Jin asked, putting into a word everything that Jungkook had known and had been wary of. His finger brushed against Jungkook's face one more time before he released him, taking a few steps and putting an obvious gap between them.

Jin turned away, looking up at the stars. He brought his hand to his face, his movement hidden from Jungkook. His back was turned to Jungkook, his shoulders tensed all of a sudden. "What do you want, Jungkook?" he asked.

"I can't have what I want," Jungkook admitted.

"What is it that you want and can't have?" Jin asked, turning to face Jungkook.

"Does it matter?" Jungkook asked in exasperation. "Jin, it doesn't matter what I want. It never mattered all my life. I can't just want something and get it. My life isn't wired that way. The clothes I can wear, the foods I can eat, the crowd I can hang around, the kind of person I'll end up getting married to, all of those are controlled by my parents. This," he gestured around them, "What we are right now, it's nothing but a fantasy."

Jin shrugged. "The kiss we shared seemed pretty real to me."

"Jin..." Jungkook called, his shoulders falling. He pressed his fingers to his forehead, torn.

"Look," Jin said. "When it comes to doing my job and keep you from harm's way, I will do whatever your parents want because I know it'll be for your good, but right now, I don't care what they want. I want to know what you want.

You, he wanted to say. I want you, he should have said. "I can't, Jin," Jungkook said, sucking on his bottom lip.

"Then why did you kiss me?"

Because, I've been wanting to do it for a long time.

Because I've done everything to please them and I just wanted to do something to please myself.

Because I've been curious with how your lips would taste since the first day I saw you.

Because I'm sorry for making you believe I don't need you.

This time, Jungkook's heart hurt and his throat swelled. He tried to speak but the heaviness in his chest threatened to choke him. He swallowed thickly. "Because I'm tired of pushing you away," he said.