"Pain changes people." - Influencer

AFTER what Sana said to Sidharth, both became quiet again. Sana didn't regret anything she said. She meant it. She could tell there must be some reason why he is the way he is today.

Why does he bully people?

Why is he so rude to everyone?

Why does he act like a jerk?

Why did he try to hurt himself?

Why does he have an "I don't care about anyone" attitude?

She wanted to know everything about him. His fears, his likes, his dislikes. Everything. She wanted to understand him--closely.

On the other hand, Sidharth was taken aback by her words. No one had ever told him he was good. That there could be good in him. He'd never shown it to anyone.

There was a time when he was a good boy, behaving well with everyone. But no one cared about him then. No one even looked at him.

Everyone thought he was weak.

And he was weak.

People took advantage of it, too.

He hated being weak. Mostly, he hated having a weakness.

Sana could become his weakness.

She had qualities that could capture his heart. She was the kind of girl he might love someday. If he ever loved someone, it would be her. Her strong, fierce, and bold personality made her different and attractive.

He liked the way she never feared him, always giving him a good answer. That was sexy and admirable too.

But he was afraid that if he did fall for her, she would crush his heart under her feet and walk away, leaving him broken and alone. It would happen once she knew his truth.

His ugly truth.

He knew he needed to stay away from her, for his own good. She was dangerous for him-both mentally and emotionally. But he couldn't stay away.

He liked seeing her, even from afar, when she was with her friends, talking, gossiping, and laughing.

He did it many times.

Stealing glances from afar, whenever their paths crossed-be it in the college canteen, the mall, or even here.

She thought he never looked at her, never acknowledged her existence. But she was wrong. His eyes always searched for her.

He liked talking to her, whether it was arguing with her or taunting her to get a reaction.

Indeed, he wanted revenge on her for the humiliation he faced in front of so many people---not once, but repeatedly. His brain told him to destroy her, but his heart warned him to stop. Not to hurt her. Not to destroy her. He had even warned her to stay away from him.

But this crazy girl had other plans.

The silence between them started to become unbearable. Sana needed answers to her questions, especially about what she'd seen during their game.

"What I saw there.... was it true?" Sana finally broke the silence.

Her voice brought him out of his thoughts. "You saw nothing," he simply dismissed it.

But Sana wasn't backing down. She wanted an answer, and she would get it, today and tonight. Even if she had to beg, go down on her knees, or tie him to a tree.

Sounded crazy?

But that's what he was doing to her.

Sidharth Vyas was making her crazy.

"Liar," Sana scoffed. "Don't lie to me, Vyas. I know what I saw was true. You tried..."

Sidharth interrupted her, his voice filled with anger and irritation. "I'm telling you, you saw nothing. I was just thinking. Wondering. Stop making up stories in your head."

"I don't believe you," she snapped.

"Then don't," he snapped back. "Ms. Delulu."

Sana smiled at the name he called her. "Ms. Delulu, huh?"

"You are," he scoffed.

"Like you're Mr. Delulu," she teased.

"Don't try to get too comfortable with me," his voice came out as a warning. "Stay away from me."

"Nah. I like to play with fire," she winked.

"Now she's in a playful mood? Great!" He thought.

"Shut up!" he snapped, irritated.

"Okay."

Sidharth looked at her in shock, surprised she agreed so easily.

"How did that happen? She never listens to me. Then why now? Anyway, I liked it. I liked that she obeyed me," he thought, looking at her.

Sana picked up a dry leaf from the ground and started playing with it, thinking. "I know you won't open up like this. I need to do something else to make you talk. I can't see you do that again. But first, I need to confirm if you really tried to hurt yourself. If yes, then why? And when?"

Both fell into another silence, lost in thought. Sana was planning how to make him talk, while Sidharth was figuring out how to change the subject.

"I was shocked to learn you've never kissed anyone. Why don't you kiss?" Sana asked, casually changing the topic.

I'll make him talk by distracting him a little. Once he's comfortable, I'll ask that question again. I'm sure he won't lie then.

Her change of topic made him both happy and irritated. He was happy he didn't have to talk about his personal life to his supposed enemy. But who was she to ask him about his love life?

"I am..." He paused, suddenly remembering she had kissed someone and hadn't told him the name--or names?

I was shocked to know she kissed someone. I thought she'd save herself for her husband. I guess I was wrong. Again. She's not as innocent as I assumed.

Now he wanted to know the names. All those names who had touched her, kissed her or maybe slept with her.

He needed to know.

"Who was it?" he asked.

"What, who was it?" Sana repeated, looking at him in confusion. "And don't change the subject."

"I'm not changing the subject," he snapped. "First, tell me who you kissed."

Oh! He's still stuck on that.

"Why? Are you jealous?" she teased.

"Jealous? My foot!" he scoffed. "Just tell me."

"I will. I promised," she assured him, "But you have to promise me something."

"What?"

Is she going to ask about my past?

"Why don't you kiss?" she asked.

He looked taken aback. "What?"

"Yes," she nodded. "Tell me."

I'll ask about that later, Sidharth. But first, let's talk.

"First of all, I am not answerable to you," he said.

"That, I know. But still, if you want something, you need to give something in return. Give and take, you know," she said simply. "Now tell me."

"Kisses are more personal. Intimate. And I don't do any of that. I just..."

"You just hook up," she finished his sentence.

"Exactly," he nodded.

"So you've never kissed anyone?" she asked, confirming.

"Yes," he rolled his eyes in irritation. "Is that a problem?"

"No. Absolutely not," she shook her head, smiling.

I'll make sure I get your first kiss, Mr. Delulu.

Sidharth looked at her suspiciously, wondering why she was smiling like that.

What's wrong with her? What's she up to?

"Why are you smiling?" he finally asked.

"Just like that," she smiled big.

"Just like that," he repeated her words. "Anyway, tell me the name."

"Desperate much?" she mocked.

"Fuck off!" he snapped. "You're irritating."

"I know," she admitted, giggling.

Crazy girl.

"Tell me the name, Sana," he asked again, sitting up to face her, eager to know the answer.

"I kissed two guys. John and Yuvraj," she replied simply, watching him closely to see if he reacted--jealousy, anger or anything.

But to her disappointment, there was nothing. No jealousy, no anger, no irritation-nothing.

He looked at her with a calm and blank expression, which hurt her more than she expected.

"He feels nothing for me," she thought, pouting in sadness.

"She kissed two guys? Were they her boyfriends? Or just random hookups? Why does it make me so mad? Why do I want to kill them? And... fuck her pretty mouth?" he was irritated by his own thoughts.

"Were they your boyfriends? Or random hookups?" he asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Does it matter?" she snapped, annoyed by his indifferent attitude.

"Tell me," he demanded, irritated.

Why does she make me ask twice for everything? I hate it. Why can't she just obey me like a good girl?

Seeing her quiet, fiddling with the leaf again, he snatched it from her hand and threw it away.

"Sidharth," she gasped as he grabbed her face, lifting it to make her look at him.

His beautiful whiskey eyes were a darker shade, clouded with anger.

She liked it.

"Tell me," his voice was demanding.

"Yes, they were my boyfriends," she whispered. "I don't do hookups like you."

It was a taunt, and he felt it.

His fingers dug into her cheeks, forcing her lips into a pout---a pout he wanted to kiss.

Sana felt his gaze on her lips, and her whole body shivered, thinking he might actually kiss her. Her eyes closed automatically in submission.

He smirked at her response. He wouldn't deny it; he was tempted to kiss those lips. He wanted to know what she tasted like, how it felt to kiss her, what they felt when they kissed her. The urge was strong, almost overpowering.

But he didn't kiss her. And he wouldn't.

Not now, not ever.

"You don't know me, Sana," he growled, pushing her face away.

Sana stared at him in shock, hurt radiating through her. She felt rejected. No one had ever treated her like this, like she was disposable. A pang of pain threatened to bring tears to her eyes, but she held them back. She wouldn't cry in front of him---a jerk.

But really, what had she been expecting from him? He had made his stance painfully clear.

He didn't kiss.

He didn't do romance.

He didn't do relationships.

He just fuck.

He just wanted to sleep with her---nothing else. No emotional connection. He was physically attracted to her, and that was it. No love, no chance of love. Just a casual hookup, maybe even some hate-filled fling.

But was that what she wanted? No. She didn't do casual hookups. She wasn't like him.

He was a heartless asshole.

He didn't know how to treat a woman or even talk nicely to someone---anyone. And though she knew his behaviour stemmed from something in his past, some trauma in childhood or later.

But, that wasn't an excuse to treat people like trash, like he'd just treated her.

"I ha...."

"Sorry."

Her head snapped up in shock.

He looked.. guilty.

His jaw clenched as he saw the tears forming at the corners of her eyes. "I don't kiss, Sana. And you know that."

Was she angry? Sure. But his simple "sorry" which she had never expected from him, softened her heart.

"It's okay. It wasn't your fault. I was stupid for expecting that," she said truthfully. "I forgot we're enemies."

"Technically, we're not enemies, Sana. We just don't like each other. We're different. We're not right for each other." he corrected her.

She smirked. "We're not enemies?"

"No" He replied simply.

"Then can we be friends?" she asked, holding out her hand.

Sidharth looked at her face, then at her hand, and back at her face again, surprised. "In your dreams. We can't be anything, Sana," he said, deadpan.

"Why?" she asked, hurt creeping into her voice.

"I just want you to stay away from me." He looked straight into her eyes. "Otherwise, I will destroy you. For what you did."

"And you say we're not enemies," she laughed, mocking him.

He looked at her, stunned. But she looked away.

Sana felt the sting of his rejection deep inside. She told herself not to cry--especially not in front of him. But despite her efforts, a knot tightened in her chest. Sidharth's harsh words, the push of her face away, his cold dismissal.. it was clear he meant to keep her at arm's length.

It felt raw. And yet, she couldn't bring herself to truly hate him.

She wanted to understand the reason behind the walls he'd built, the layers he kept hidden beneath the surface. But tonight, she'd hit a brick wall harder than she'd ever imagined.

"Did you try to hurt yourself?" she asked again.

He looked at her, anger flashing. "l already told you, I'm not answerable to you or to anyone."

His voice was sharp, clearly irritated. But Sana wasn't ready to back off this time. She wanted an answer, and she would get it.

"Just tell me, yes or no. Did you, or did you not?" she asked, her voice just as sharp.

"Will you stop asking more questions after that?" he snapped, waiting for her reply.

Sana went quiet, debating her next move. Because, if the answer was "yes,' she knew she would have more questions. Just then, she heard him laugh---a mocking laugh.

Her head snapped toward him. "What?"

"God, you're such a curious girl." His laugh died as his expression hardened, his eyes darkening.

"Don't interfere in my life, Sana," he said, his voice harsh. "Or destroy yours."

It was a clear and open warning. But Sana was feeling bold. She didn't back off.

"Did you, or did you not?" she asked again.

"No. I didn't."

"Liar" she scoffed. "Be honest, Sidharth."

"I am being honest. I didn't hurt myself." He looked away to hide the pain and lie in his eyes, knowing she could read his face. "I just thought about it once. It was only a thought. I didn't hurt myself."

"Uh-huh?"

"Yes,' he snapped.

"Say that looking at me. Into my eyes." She wasn't stupid enough to let him hide his face to deceive her.

"Don't act stubborn,' he hissed in irritation.

Why can't she just leave me alone?

"Then don't lie,' she snapped back. "Just tell me the damn truth," she demanded.

"Yes, I thought about it. But I didn't do it." He lied, but his voice was firm to make her believe his lie.

"Why would you do that? Why would you think to do that?" She asked, desperate to know the reason behind his self-harm thoughts.

He finally looked at her with sharp eyes, jaw clenched. He was furious. "Remember?" His voice came out sharp. "You said no more questions, Sana."

"But-"

"No ifs, no buts." He dismissed the topic.

A sharp pain struck her heart, knowing he had thought to hurt himself. The memory of seeing him in his room, cutting his wrist, flashed in front of her eyes. Her eyes grew moist, and the next moment she was crying.

Sidharth looked at her in shock. "Why are you crying?"

"Why are you acting so nonchalant?" she asked, her voice choked. "As if you didn't just tell me a big secret? That you thought to kill yourself?" She sobbed harder.

"God, you're crying for that?" he asked, surprised to see her tears.

No one had ever cried for him. No one.

"Yes,"

Seeing her crying, hurt him, but somewhere deep inside, a small warmth grew. Maybe she cared for him. But he pushed that thought away, telling himself he wasn't special to her. She didn't care for him.

She hated him.

She'd probably cry for a dead cat. She's just an emotional fool. Nothing else.

"Stop crying like an idiot. We need to go back. It's getting too late." He checked the time on his phone.

She stopped crying and looked at him in disbelief.

How can he act so heartless? I'm crying for him, feeling the pain he must have gone through to reach that decision...

"You're a jerk," she muttered, wiping her tears.

That's exactly what I wanted him to do. Wiping my tears.

"Thanks for the compliment," he replied sarcastically. "But we need to leave. It's already 3 in the morning" He checked his phone again.

Damn, it's already 3 AM? But I'm not even sleepy. I still want answers from him, but know I won't get them tonight. I've pushed him enough. Still.. I will find out the rest before we leave Mount Abu.

"Where are you lost, baby girl?" he snapped, clearly annoyed.

In your thoughts!

"I'm thinking... do you know where our camp is?" she asked, looking at him closely.

I forgot the way back. Stupid me.

"Oh no! don't know the way out either. What do we do?" he mumbled, then glared at her.

Technically, this is her fault. Why did she come here like an idiot? Damnit!

"Do you know?" Sana asked, knowing well he didn't. He'd just followed her.

"No. Happy?" he snapped. "And it's your fault. Why did you come here? Idiot."

She felt offended. She hadn't asked him to follow her. He came on his own. "Excuse me, mister. I didn't ask you to follow me. You came here on your own, so don't blame me."

"Yeah, right." He taunted. "l came here for your safety. What if something happened to you? Damnit!"

Sana smiled, and he realized what he'd just admitted in his frustration.

"It's not true," he said, clearly a pathetic attempt to cover up his words. "Forget it."

"I think we should stay here until sunrise. Then we can find our way back. What do you think?" she suggested.

Sidharth considered it for a moment and found it sensible. Searching for the camp in the dark would be foolish. "Fine. We'll leave after sunrise. But can you stay awake until then?"

"I think I can," she nodded. "What about you?"

"I have insomnia," he said, offering no further explanation.

With that, she understood why he didn't mind staying awake all night. Embarrassment warmed her cheeks, realizing her earlier assumptions about why he was up so late.

Stupid me.

Sidharth smirked at her flushed face but said nothing. She was already embarrassed; he didn't need to make it worse.

This silly girl always assumes the worst about me.

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