"When you forgive, you free your soul. But when you say I'm sorry, you free two souls." - Donald L. Hicks

"I'M sorry," Sidharth apologized one last time before breaking the hug, feeling her cries had subsided.

Sana quickly wiped away her tears. "Sidharth, I forgive you,' she said, smiling at him.

Sidharth looked down at his lap, a frown on his face. "You should slap me, more,' he whispered. "I deserve more."

He sounded genuinely guilty, and she could feel it.

"No, you don't." She grabbed his hand, which rested on his lap. He looked at her in shock. "You've already gotten your punishment."

He became alert when she lifted his hand, placing it on her lap and locking her fingers with his.

"Sana," he began.

"Don't," she warned, when he tried to pull his hand back. He stopped. "Sidharth, I'm sorry."

Sidharth looked at her in confusion. "Why are you apologizing to me?"

"What I did wasn't right, either. I should have handled things more maturely. I acted impulsively and slapped you in front of everyone. I know it hurts your pride, and that's why you acted out the next day. I'm sorry again." She genuinely felt guilty for everything she did.

It was humiliating.

"You don't need to apologize. You did the right thing." He noticed she still seemed unconvinced. "Trust me, Sana. If I had a grandpa like yours, and someone messed with his bike, I'd have killed them." He was dead serious.

Sana giggled at his words---not because she thought he was joking, but because she realized he actually meant it. Of course, her bike held precious memories of her grandparents, but killing someone over it seemed extreme.

"You wouldn't do that, would you?" she asked.

"You don't know me yet,"' he replied, his voice deadpan.

"Then I'd love to get to know you," she said, pulling his hand closer.

But he frowned and pulled his hand away.

"You don't need to know about my life." His tone turned harsh, the softness gone. "I don't like discussing my personal life."

She nodded, understanding. "Fine. Can we at least be friends, Sidharth?"

"No"

She pouted at his blunt rejection. "I can be a good friend,' she tried again.

"I don't have friendly intentions with you, Sana. You know what I want. You know what 'we' want from each other. I don't see you as a friend. Just... bad stuff." Sidharth said honestly, then looked at her with his infamous smirk, making her shiver, though she kept a neutral expression.

"Don't you already know that, baby girl?" He asked, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, making her blush.

He smiled, watching her. "You look even more attractive when you blush, baby girl."

She blushed harder and quickly hid her face with her hands, which made him chuckle at how cute she looked. He stopped laughing when he saw her peeking through her fingers.

"When was your first time, Sana?" he asked suddenly, catching her off guard.

She quickly removed her hands from her face and looked at him in shock. "What?"

"You heard me," he said, nonchalantly.

"I'm not answerable to you," she replied, annoyed that he'd ruined their moment by bringing up her past relationships.

Can't believe he wants to talk about my sex life.

"Why not?" he pressed, knowing full well he'd struck a nerve. He wanted to know everything about her, just as she wanted to know everything about him.

Sana got an idea to get him to open up about his past. She'd give him something about her history in exchange.

"How do you even know I've done it? What if I haven't?" she asked, crossing her arms.

Sidharth gave her a skeptical look. "So, you're a Virgin Mary, huh?" His tone was sarcastic.

"I asked you a question. And here you are, deflecting," she said, feeling a bit offended. After a pause, she admitted, "Fine. I'm not a virgin."

"Good."

She looked at him, confused. "Good? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Means you have experience. I won't have to be gentle with you." He was genuinely relieved but also fuming a bit, knowing she'd been with someone before him.

"You're pathetic,' she shot back, irritated. "And who told you I want to have sex with you?"

Sidharth looked at her for a moment, registering her bold words.

I like her boldness.

He quickly composed himself, "I know you want it, baby girl."

"In your dreams." She lied.

"Liar," he commented. "Did you do it with both guys?"

"l'm not answering that." She deadpanned.

Why does he have to keep bringing up my past? I was young and made mistakes... especially with Yuvraj. He was the biggest mistake of my life.

"Who was it? John or Yuvraj? Or someone else?" he persisted.

"I'm not telling you that." She stayed firm.

"Come on, tell me." This time, his voice was demanding.

"Okay. I will tell you on one condition. Who was your first?" she countered, her voice was curious and a bit irritated, imagining him with someone else.

"I'm not telling you that." His voice came out as a whisper, but it was laced with venom.

"Was it a bad experience?" she teased.

"Shut the hell up." He snapped, his voice loud, filled with anger and venom. She flinched. "Not everything is a joke, alright."

"I'm sorry" she whispered.

"Like you should be." Then he fell silent again.

She didn't understand what he meant by that. She had only teased him, like he always teased her.

"Did I do something wrong?" she wondered.

"I hooked up with a girl at a club, alright. I don't know her name," he eventually said, breaking the silence, sensing her concern. He didn't want her dwelling on his words.

No one gets to know who was really my first.

"Oh?" Sana still didn't sound convinced.

"I'm telling the truth," he insisted. "Who was yours?"

"Yuvraj, my second boyfriend." She revealed, "He asked for it as a birthday present."

"Which birthday?" he asked, keeping his expression in check, though anger simmered underneath.

"His 18th," she whispered.

"How old were you?" he asked. "Don't tell me you were underage." He noticed her nervously fiddling with her fingers, a habit he'd picked up on.

"He was two months older than me. It doesn't matter," she replied, her voice faltering.

"Of course," he said, sarcasm clear in his tone.

"I wanted it," she defended herself quickly. "I loved him."

"Good to know he didn't force you," he replied, his tone softening slightly.

"Why would anyone force someone?" she asked, almost incredulous.

"Right," he muttered to himself, pain flickering in his eyes.

Sana caught it.

"Did someone force him?" she wondered. "But why? And how could they? He's so strong. No one could overpower him."

"Can I ask you a question?" she ventured.

He rolled his eyes, irritated. "Not again."

"No, not that, silly," she said, nudging him playfully.

He gave her a serious look. "Don't you think you're getting too comfortable with me?" His voice was laced with sarcasm.

Ugh, the sarcastic asshole.

"Am I?" She batted her eyelashes, acting innocent.

"Yes," he replied, deadpan, ignoring her attempt to act cute.

Her expression fell, and she pouted. "You're always rude to me."

"Because you're irritating, Ms. Sana D'Souza,' he said with a sarcastic smile.

"Asshole," she muttered under her breath, though he heard her.

"Good to know you understand who I am." His words made her look at him in shock, which he found cute, and he laughed-a genuine laugh.

Sana admired him with a smile, momentarily forgetting his words and how he had been acting like a jerk toward her.

Noticing her gaze, he stopped laughing and looked serious. "Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?" she asked, openly admiring his handsome face.

He grabbed her chin, pulled her close by the waist, dropped his head near her ear, and whispered, "Like, you want me to fuck you."

Sana couldn't move. She couldn't think straight. She just sat there, holding her breath. She was unable to breathe with him so close. She felt dizzy when his fingers dug into her waist through her clothes, his hot breath fanned against her neck, and his lips were dangerously close to her throat.

"Tell me, baby girl, do you want me to fuck you?" Her breath hitched in her throat as his lips brushed teasingly against her neck.

"Here?" He gave a teasing kiss on her neck. He barely touched her skin, but it was enough to undo her.

She moaned, "Umhm."

"You want it, baby girl?" He pressed another teasing kiss to her neck. "Huh?"

"Sidharth," she moaned, tilting her head back, giving him more access.

He closed his eyes momentarily, loving the way she took his name. In that voice.

"Fuck! Baby girl, say that again." He demanded, kissing her neck again.

"Sidharth," she moaned, grabbing a fistful of his hair, wanting more. "please."

We can't do it here. It's a forest.

He gave one last kiss on her throat, he released her from his hold and moved away a little, giving her space to calm down. Even though nothing had truly happened, Sana looked a mess---sweating and panting, eyes closed.

Fuck! She must be wet for me.

Feeling the absence of his warmth, she opened her eyes and looked at him, hurt clear in her gaze.

She felt rejected, again.

"Why?" she asked, the hurt evident in her voice.

"You weren't in your right mind," was all he said. That's another reason he stopped.

But Sana wasn't done. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean," he replied calmly.

"No, I don't. Tell me." She demanded, anger evident in both her eyes and her voice.

"Sana, you were emotional," he said, his tone serious but calm. "I didn't want to take advantage of your vulnerability. You would have regretted it later. Plus, this is not the right place." He told her the truth.

"What if I didn't? What if I wanted it? What if I didn't have a problem here?" she asked.

"You don't."

"I do," she snapped. "I fucking wanted it, okay."

Sidharth ignored her words and glanced around. The sun was already up. "We should start finding our way back."

Sana looked at him in disbelief. "Why are you acting like an asshole, Sidharth?"

She was pissed. And hurt.

He looked at her. "I'm an asshole. What do you expect from me?" His voice was nonchalant.

Sana just stared at him in silence, waiting for him to continue.

"A princess treatment?" he asked. "Where I'd walk behind you like a lovesick puppy?" His voice came out harsher than he intended. "I don't do romance, Sana. I just fuck."

It hurt her. Truth always hurts.

"Why don't you believe in love, Sidharth?" she asked again.

"Love is a myth, Sana," he replied coldly.

"Why do you think that? Don't your parents love each other?" She was trying to get him to open up.

Sidharth remained silent.

"Oh!" Sana realized. "They don't, do they?"

Again silence from his side.

"Arranged marriage?" She tried to dig a little deeper.

Sidharth shot her a look of disbelief. "It's my family's business; you shouldn't interfere in it."

It was a clear warning for her to stay within her limits.

"Do you like dogs?" Sana asked out of nowhere.

Sidharth looked at her in shock. "What?"

"Do you like..."

"I know what you asked," he snapped. "No."

"Cats?"

"No."

"Bunnies?"

"No."

She made a face in disgust. "Who doesn't like these cute little animals?"

"Me," Sidharth snapped. "Now stop bothering me." He was so done with her. "We should go and find our way back."

"Not now," she said, checking their surroundings. They were in the middle of a forest with wild animals around. "We should stay a little longer. There isn't enough light to see."

Sidharth looked up at the sky. The sun was up, but there wasn't enough light to venture out and find their way back.

"Okay." His agreement made her smile. "But no more questions."

Her smile fell. "That's not possible. I love to talk."

"Then talk to that tree," he replied, smiling sarcastically and pointing at a tall, old tree right behind her.

Sana looked back, frowned, then turned to him with a mischievous smile. "You're no less than a tree, mister," she said, eyeing him from head to toe.

He understood she was talking about his height.

"How tall are you?" she asked, her curiosity evident.

"193 cm."

Her mouth fell open in shock. "You... you're 6'-4"?"

"Uh-huh," he nodded, smiling at her shocked face. "How tall are you?" he asked.

She opened her mouth to respond but closed it as he continued.

"Let me guess," he looked thoughtful for a moment, eyeing her from top to bottom. "5'4?" His tone was mocking.

She felt like shouting at him for acting like an ass but kept her mouth shut. He guessed right. She was 5'4", and that jerk was 6'4".

They were 12 inches apart in height.

"I guessed right, huh?" He laughed.

"Haha, very funny," she replied sarcastically, which only made him laugh harder.

"God! You can be funny," he said between laughs.

Sana looked at him with an irritated expression. But deep down, she wasn't irritated. She was admiring the way he was laughing so freely, throwing his head back and holding his chest. He was literally on the verge of tears from laughing. She was happy to make him laugh tonight---a genuine laugh, not once but multiple times.

"You have a beautiful smile, Sidharth." Her words finally made him stop.

He quickly composed himself and returned to his old self---cold and expressionless.

"We should leave," he said, getting down from the tree log.

"Not yet."

"Sana..." he said, his patience wearing thin.

"There's no light, Sidharth." She reasoned.

"Are you scared?" he asked, the mockery clear in his tone.

"No," she said hurriedly, making it obvious she was.

He felt like laughing again but held back, remembering her words. But he could still tease her.

"I can't believe you're getting scared of trees now," he mocked.

"Not the trees, but the wild animals out there," she clarified.

"No animal came here. You're still alive, and very much safe." He mocked.

"Yes, that's true." She agreed. "Aren't you scared?"

"Nah," he replied. "These animals aren't as scary as you. If I can survive with you, I can handle them too," he teased.

"What do you mean by that?" she snapped, offended.

"Ghost," he quipped, giving her a wink.

His wink was attractive, but she didn't care. She was blinded by anger. "How dare you say that! Do I look like a ghost to you?" she shouted in anger.

"Yes," he nodded. "Ghost pepper." His tone was deadpan.

Sana looked at him in confusion, then realization hit her, and her cheeks turned crimson.

He was flirting with her.

"Now you're actually looking like a ghost pepper, baby girl." This time, he openly flirted, making her blush harder.

"Don't flirt with me."

"Why? Does that make you feel something?"

"Something," she mumbled.

"Uh-huh?" he teased.

"Don't do it, or I'll kiss you. Forcefully." She threatened, her voice playful.

Sidharth went quiet and looked away from her. Sana found it weird seeing him quiet again.

"What's wrong with him? Did I do something wrong again?" She wondered.

"All women are the same," he thought. "Bitches."

"Sidharth, are you okay?" She asked in concern.

"Get up." He snapped.

She looked at him defiantly. "Make me." Her voice was challenging.

"Fine," he nodded, getting to his feet. "But don't say I didn't ask you politely."

"What do you..." The next moment, she felt herself lifted into the air, then into his arms. "Seriously?"

"Seriously," he nodded, smiling sarcastically as he started to walk. "But I have to say, you've got a good ass. Huh?"

His comment made her face flush. "Put me down," she demanded, feeling his fingers grazing her ass, which made her jump in his arms.

"What if I say no?" His tone was challenging. "I'm loving it." He added, squeezing her ass.

She gasped, and looked at him in shock. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing,"

"Put me down, Sidharth."

After a moment of thought, he agreed. "Fine." He released his hold on her, making her fall onto the ground.

"What the heck?" she groaned in pain, as she fell on her ass.

"You asked for it," he shrugged.

"I said put me down, not drop me on the ground, you idiot," she cried, rubbing her ass to soothe the pain.

"Need help?" he asked, seeing her in pain as she rubbed her sore ass.

"Fuck off! Asshole." She chided, then got to her feet. "Let's go."

It took them around two hours to find their campsite. As expected no one else was awake yet; it was only 7:30 in the morning. Everyone was tired and still sleeping.

"Are you going to sleep now?" Sidharth asked, noticing she was yawning and looked exhausted.

"Yes," she nodded. "What about you?" she asked, glancing at his tent a few feet away.

"Maybe," he shrugged.

"You should sleep. You look tired," she suggested.

He nodded. "Morning."

It was his way of saying goodbye, that they should head back to their respective tents. She understood.

"Good morning." She was about to head to her tent when her foot hit a rock, and she fell on her backside again.

"Why, God?" she cried in pain.

Sidharth couldn't help but chuckle this time. "God, you're so clumsy."

She shot him a death glare. "Don't laugh like a jerk. Help me."

He crossed his arms over his chest. "You're an independent girl, Sana. Help yourself."

"Jerk." With that, she pushed herself up, dusted off her hands, and looked at him one last time before turning to leave. She hadn't taken more than a few steps when his voice stopped her.

"Sana."

She paused but didn't look back.

"Don't try to fix me. I'm not one of your projects. I don't need to be saved." His words came out cold, but there was a strange undertone, almost as if he was asking her to stay while demanding she leave.

Sana turned to face him, meeting his hardened expression. "Saving you?" she echoed, shaking her head slightly. "I don't think you need saving, Sidharth. But maybe you're in some kind of pain, and need to be healed. And, you're the only one who doesn't see that."

His gaze softened for just a fraction of a second, but it disappeared as quickly as it had come, replaced by his usual guarded expression.

Sana took it as her cue, giving a dismissive wave. "Go and sleep, Sidharth." Her voice was almost a whisper.

She turned and left, her footsteps retreating into the quiet morning, leaving Sidharth staring after her, the echo of her words lingering in his mind longer than he'd ever admit.

Sana had barely reached the end of the path when she felt the first tear slip down her cheek. She angrily wiped it away. She wasn't going to cry over someone like him. But the hurt was real, and she couldn't deny it any longer.

Sidharth watched her until she disappeared into her tent, a strange ache twisting inside him. She had offered him kindness, maybe even understanding. And he'd pushed her away, to save himself. But this time, he wasn't sure he liked that.

✿✿✿

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