It's not until her eyes start to sting that Minjeong realizes she's been staring blankly at her blueprints for the past ten minutes. Coincidentally, that's the same amount of time that has passed since Jimin left. With a heavy sigh, Minjeong reaches for her stool while her thoughts seem to consist of everything unrelated to her work.

This is the exact reason why Minjeong came to the robotics lab in the first place, to get away from all of this. She wanted to get back to what she knows, what she's confident in, to put all of her frustrations on the back burner so she can distract her mind with anything but Jake or Jimin.

Her studies are meant to be the main focus, but her personal life has been eating up so much of her time lately. Minjeong never thought she'd be having that kind of problem considering her lack of it in the past. It feels like this year is attempting to make up for all the lost time and she's struggling.

Back at MIT, Minjeong was sought out for all the wrong reasons. Her intelligence was exploited by those she was meant to look up to, she had no social life, and those that did attempt to befriend her were only in it for her smarts.

Before that, Minjeong was cast off as a weirdo. She didn't have many friends in high school. Her family was barely around. The couple of relationships she was in didn't last long. The only companionship she had was her dog and even he ran away from her in the end.

She often wondered if something was wrong with her because no one ever stayed.

Columbia has been different to her though.

The people are nicer, even if it's New York. The professors treat her like she's a human being, not some math monkey. And she has friends – like people who genuinely like being around her and not just use her for homework help. She's a part of clubs and has a life.

And for a moment, she thought things were going to be different this time. She found a guy who she liked and thought liked her too. She thought they'd be this genius power couple and it would be so awesome, but like most things in Minjeong's life – it turned sour.

And like most times, she held onto hope when she shouldn't have. Maybe that's what her problem is? When she thinks she sees the good in people, it's actually just a mirage. Time and time again, she holds out hope when really she should be cutting them loose. Maybe she's starting to understand that now.

And then there's Jimin.

What started off as two people constantly feuding, constantly at each other's throats, constantly trying to one-up the other has evolved into this – thing. Minjeong can't figure out what to call it because sometimes they're friends and sometimes they're fake girlfriends and sometimes they're something entirely different.

The question that bothers her more and more is a simple one: Where does she stand?

Jimin walks around with the biggest chip on her shoulder while also having a heart of gold, but it is only shown around Minjeong. Jimin's warm and caring and thoughtful but only when Minjeong's at the receiving end. Jimin can be cold and closed off but also an open book if Minjeong asks the right questions. Jimin likes to pretend she's this cold-hearted snake – and sometimes she really can be – but often times she's not – at least, not to Minjeong.

The girl is a walking contradiction and Minjeong never met anyone like her.

She won't lie and say she didn't brush Jimin off as the campus player when she first got word of her. Someone who can happily cycle through girls as often as Jimin did wasn't someone Minjeong wanted to be associated with but then they got wrapped up in this thing and Minjeong's view started to change.

Jimin's such a complex person with layers upon layers and Minjeong finds herself fascinated by every single one. With Minjeong's curious mind, that's probably what she's drawn to the most.

This girl – just when Minjeong thinks she has her figured out, Jimin goes and does something unexpected: like the Brainiacs' Ball, like the day Minjeong got her exam results, like how she stuck up for her against Jake...all scenarios that have one thing in common.

They're all times where Minjeong hadn't expected Jimin to show up for her and yet she did.

It's no secret that Minjeong has a habit of latching onto anyone that shows her an ounce of compassion. Can you blame her? Kind people are hard to find. She's also no stranger to how it feels when she holds on too tightly to the wrong person which makes figuring out Jimin all the more important.

The person she's known for the least amount of time has proven to be the most reliable person in her life and Jimin doesn't even realize it. Even worse, Jimin has no idea how it makes Minjeong feel and that's where things get confusing.

That's why Minjeong has such a hard time figuring out where she stands, Jimin's constantly saying one thing while doing another. That's why it's important for her to know. It's a simple question with a simple answer and yet Minjeong is still left in the dark.

What are her motives? Is she doing it to be genuine? Is she trying to score extra brownie points with the public? Is it all a part of their act? Is none of it real? What is it?

Minjeong learned to take everything with a grain of salt, but sometimes Jimin outdoes herself. Sometimes Minjeong can't help but ignore the questions in favor of pretending those moments are just for her. Because in those moments, she pretends to know this is where she stands.

Minjeong likes to pocket them – the moments Jimin swears she's incapable of creating, the ones that make Minjeong swoon. They make Minjeong think about patience and hope despite the many times she's been burned by having too much of them both. They sweep her up in their act and make her wonder what it would be like if it were all real instead.

They also make Minjeong do embarrassing things.

Like make out with Jimin at a party.

In her defense, their thing is pretty complicated. Signals are constantly being mixed like all the time. They play pretend so often and so easily and so well that it's hard to tell the difference.

However, Jimin made things pretty clear that night –they're only friends.

Minjeong was numb to the embarrassment at the time thanks to the alcohol but she definitely felt it later on. Really, it's a feeling that has lingered ever since then. Minjeong's done her best to live with it, but it's hard.

It goes back to Jimin being a walking contradiction. She's like the ocean, pulling Minjeong in close before pushing her away just as fast and that happens over and over again. It's exhausting to keep up with and that's what led Minjeong to push for the breakup.

She can't keep guessing where she stands, she's tired of feeling confused. If friends are all that they are, then she's fine with that. At least she knows now. The faster they get rid of their fake relationship, the faster they can go on to be just that to each other – friends.

And maybe Minjeong thought it would be a great idea to get a feel for it now? Jimin's been making such strides in their friendship, Minjeong thought offering up something like a Hall Pass was more Jimin's speed.

What Minjeong didn't expect is how the offer would make her feel after.

She gives Jimin a lot of crap about having friends and knowing what to do with them, but Minjeong is actually just as clueless. She hasn't had much practice but she knows friends do things for each other, they care and are kind, so that's what she thought she was doing when she mentioned the Hall Pass.

Friends let friends celebrate big wins the way they normally celebrate them and Jimin and Minjeong are friends. They both agreed on it several times, so Minjeong latches on to that. She's done trying to read between the lines, if Jimin says that's what they are then Minjeong will take it at face value. She should feel some kind of relief from knowing something concrete now, but it doesn't feel as satisfying as she thought it would.

In fact, the longer she thinks about how she just let Jimin loose the worse she feels.

─

It takes some time, but Minjeong's able to screw her head back on properly after taking a walk around the facilities. She sees a couple friends from her robotics team working on their own projects and stops for a chat to admire their work. It's a nice break to talk to someone else after being so wrapped up in her thoughts for so long.

It makes her remember that there are bigger things than her social life and that's what needs her attention the most.

By the time she gets back to her own project, she's a lot more focused. She puts all of that hurt caused by Jake, confusion caused by Jimin, and annoyance caused by her own feelings into her work. She keeps herself immersed for so long that she doesn't realize it's nearing closing time and everyone has mostly gone aside from security who waits by the door to alert her that it's time to go.

"Sorry! I'll start packing up," Minjeong calls out to the guy.

It's only then that she notices the new text message from Jimin who apparently made it to Philly in one piece. Minjeong imagines what that bus ride would've been like knowing Jimin's temperament, but she hesitates on asking. Maybe it would be nice to hear her voice one more time before everything changes.

So instead, she finishes cleaning up so she can give Jimin a call on her way home.

─

Something that Minjeong also didn't expect is the odd sense of loneliness knowing Jimin isn't just a short walk away. In fact, she's in an entirely different state and it will be like that for the next three days.

Minjeong likes to imagine Jimin living it up and relaxing after so many grueling days of practice but she knows that isn't the case. The girl is probably working even harder than ever before, probably partying hard too judging by the lack of call or text messages.

And Minjeong's not mad about that, how can she be?

There's no rule saying Jimin has to check in twice a day while she's gone. Who's to say she's even on Jimin's mind anyway? With all that's going on over there – the meetings, the practice, the competitions, all the potential girls Minjeong said she could hook-up with – she's probably on the bottom of Jimin's list of things to think about.

And Minjeong's not mad about that, how can she be?

She had a hand in setting Jimin free for the weekend, she can't turn around and get angry over it. That's not how they treat each other anymore because friends don't do that.

What she needs to do is keep occupied, maybe focus on herself? She has let a lot of outside forces distract her from her work and hiding out in the robotics lab only does so much. If Jimin's busy doing her own thing, then Minjeong has to use the time away just as wisely.

She has used up so much energy letting Jake waste her time and Jimin confuse the hell out of her that Minjeong lost touch with things that make her feel sure of herself. When she reaches for her phone and scrolls through her contact list, there's only one name she's looking for. The temptation to text Jimin is there, but her determination to get her life back on track is stronger.

"Hey girl!" Wendy greets cheerfully. "Didn't expect to hear from you so soon."

Minjeong smiles, "Yeah. I only needed some time to think about everything you said."

"And?"

"I'd like to go ahead with it," Minjeong replies. "If you're still up for helping me? Like I told you the other day, I don't have much experience with this kind of thing."

"Oh! I'm so happy, of course I'm still up for it! It's not every day a genius needs my help with something."

Minjeong feels her face begin to heat up at the compliment. Genius; it's still something she hasn't gotten used to, no matter how many times she's heard people call her that.

"Thank you. I really appreciate it," Minjeong says before growing a little nervous. "Is there any way we could meet up sometime today? I know it's the weekend and you might– "

"How about Rise and Grind at 6?" Wendy offers. "I have rehearsals today but it shouldn't run that long."

"Okay, sure! That sounds great," Minjeong replies. "Thanks again for doing this. I'm going to be honest with you though, I'm still a little nervous about starting my own club. I hate not knowing what I'm doing."

"Don't worry about it. From what Satan said, you're going to do just fine. You just need a little help along the way, but don't we all when we first start out?" Wendy says. "And you've already got me lending a hand and I'm the best there is. You've got nothing to worry about."

Minjeong feels a little more at ease, "Okay thank you."

"We have to look out for one another. Can't let these boys run the show, can we?"

"I guess not," Minjeong chuckles. "Well, I'll see you later on then."

"Alright! Later, girl!"

When Minjeong hangs up, she takes in a deep breath. She knows she's making the right choice when her stomach starts to fill with excited little butterflies. It's a familiar feeling, but she's proud to say it's not caused by the doing of anyone else: boy or girl.

No. This feeling is all because of her and it's surprisingly liberating.

─

But no matter how much time she spends chatting with Wendy over lattes or tinkering away in the robotics lab or keeping herself busy with schoolwork, she still finds Jimin wandering into her mind.

It usually happens during the quiet moments in between all of those distractions.

Like when she walks around campus, she expects to see Jimin strutting around in her cheerleading warm-ups after practice. Or at Rise and Grind, she expects to hear Jimin giving everyone a hard time for the line being so damn long. The worst place is when she's sitting alone in the library. She can't help that her eyes drift to the stairs, expecting to see Jimin sauntering over with two iced coffees in hand.

What Minjeong doesn't expect comes late in the night on the second day. Or is it early the third morning?

Whatever it is, Minjeong swears she's dreaming because only in a dream would she ever see Jimin's name lighting up her phone at 3 in the morning.

─

Minjeong feels groggy as she rolls onto her side and reaches for her phone. It's the biggest mistake ever because she's blinded by the screen, even if she's just a tiny bit excited to see it fill with a picture of Jimin giving her signature smirk while flipping her off.

She notes the time as well and wonders if this is a mistake before swiping to answer.

"Hello?"

She's surprised by how hoarse her voice sounds and tries to clear her throat. She waits for a second, but there's no reply. It's only silence and that has Minjeong feeling a little more awake.

"Jimin? Is everything okay?"

"Hi."

Jimin's voice is meek and quiet like a little nervous mouse and it has Minjeong's brows furrowing. It's too late in the night or too early in the morning or whatever to do this.

"Hey. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, totally. I'm so good."

The more Jimin talks, the easier it is for Minjeong to pick up on that familiar drawl. She's drunk, of course she is. Day two means preliminary competitions are done – Minjeong might've looked up the schedule – and with the Lions' record, this was an easy win. Winning means celebrating and celebrating leads to alcohol.

"That's good to hear. You know it's late, right?" Minjeong asks. Her tone is light, more so joking than being serious despite being stumped by the call.

"Did I wake you?"

Minjeong considers lying, "Kind of – 3 am is a little past my bedtime."

"Sorry...I just," Jimin pauses and it's followed by a sigh. "I haven't talked to you in so long."

Minjeong knows what Jimin is trying to say and prods at her by asking, "So you ended up missing me after all?"

Jimin lets out a scoff but Minjeong's too accustomed to her little quirks to know that she isn't offended. Really, she feels exposed. There's another sigh and Minjeong anticipates Jimin doing her best to dodge her comment.

"What can I say? You're easy to miss."

Minjeong's brows rise. She attempts to remind herself that Jimin's been drinking and maybe not all of this is her talking but hope makes Minjeong wonder if she's wrong.

"Tell me about your day," Jimin says. "What kind of trouble have you been getting into?"

"Nothing. Mostly boring stuff, really," Minjeong answers. "I doubt you want to hear about it."

"Try me."

Minjeong finds herself biting her lip, "Well...I've been spending a lot of time in the workshop."

Jimin hums and the sound makes Minjeong feel warm all over. It reminds her of the day Jimin walked in on her working. The way Minjeong caught her staring sometimes wasn't so friend-like.

"One of the gears for the project I'm working on jammed so I had to take everything apart," Minjeong goes on explaining. "It was super annoying. Then I was off on my measurements for this replacement part I built so I had to scrap that too. I considered using my hammer to break it off and smooth down the edge instead of starting from scratch but I – I'm getting carried away. See? Boring."

"I don't think it's boring," Jimin says and her voice is low and sultry. "You're passionate about your work and that's kind of hot."

Minjeong swallows dryly at the compliment.

"What else have you been doing?" Jimin asks, her voice is softer this time. "You can't be holed up in the lab all day and night."

Minjeong snuggles down against her pillows. Her eyes feel heavier already, but she goes on to answer Jimin's question instead of pulling on that thread from before.

"I met with Wendy again."

"Oh yeah?"

Minjeong hums, "Got a lot of planning done. The name is pending. I want it to be something cool."

"It's academic decathlon club," Jimin jokes but her tiredness waters down the usual snark of it all. "I don't know how cool you can get."

"Don't be mean," Minjeong scolds playfully. "This was your idea."

"Don't say that so loud," Jimin teases.

"You try to be all Miss Popular all the time but admit it," Minjeong quips. "You're as big of a nerd as I am."

"I'm not."

"You totally are, who brings up how they were in the running for valedictorian as much as you do? Nerds."

Jimin chuckles softly, "I see your point, but I'll never admit to that."

"Of course you won't," Minjeong teases. "Miss Popular has a reputation to think about."

"I sure do."

Minjeong smiles; it's silly to think how much she has missed this and it's only been a couple days.

"Your turn," Minjeong says. "I heard the Lions placed first in the preliminary round. I thought you'd be out celebrating?"

"I was," Jimin says longingly. "I got all dressed up too. I danced, I drank, I saw a bunch of hot girls—"

"Jimin," Minjeong interrupts. "You don't have to tell me every detail of your night. I can just take your word for—"

"I couldn't do it, Minjeong."

For a second time, Minjeong's brows rise. Her heart feels like it has stopped mid-beat. She doesn't know what to think, she doesn't know what to say, she doesn't know what it all means.

"Minju found Heejin in the bathroom and she was a hot mess," Jimin continues to explain. "The girl was completely wasted and Coach has a rule about going out and getting into trouble. The Captain was useless and Minju came to me."

Minjeong tries following along, hanging on to every tired, slurred word trying to make sense of it all.

"I don't get it," Minjeong prompts shortly after. "What couldn't you do?"

"I couldn't do what you told me to," Jimin admits. "I couldn't have fun. Dumbass Heejin couldn't handle her alcohol and dumbass Minju brought her to me and dumbass Lia was going all Coyote Ugly on the bar. It should've been me up there, Minjeong, not her scrawny ass."

Minjeong smirks at the picture her head paints of Jimin filling in for Lia and would have to agree. But still, Minjeong tries to keep from laughing at how pitiful Jimin sounds as she continues relaying all the struggles she went through during the rest of her night.

"Sounds like a very eventful night," Minjeong jokes.

"It wasn't. Everyone was having a great time, even Heejin and Minju before we had to leave," Jimin tells her. "Everyone but me. Who knows what I could be doing right now if they hadn't interrupted."

"Don't you mean who?"

Jimin hums but it's hard for Minjeong to decipher the sound over the phone. It makes her feel a little bad about making such a lame joke.

"I'm sorry your night didn't go as planned," Minjeong adds. "At least you have a couple more tries, right?"

"I guess so."

For a while, neither of them speak. At one point, Minjeong wonders if Jimin's fallen asleep. Honestly, she's close to doing the same, her eyes are already closed, but then she hears Jimin start to mumble. It's so soft and quiet, Minjeong can barely hear her.

"What'd you say?" Minjeong asks.

Again, it's quiet for a moment and Minjeong considers maybe the moment has passed but then;

"I want you here."

Minjeong freezes, wondering if she heard correctly but there's no misinterpreting that comment.

Despite it being meek and quiet like a little nervous mouse, Jimin's words were clear as day. Jimin wants her there – but as what exactly? As her friend, as her fake girlfriend, as something else entirely different?

Like she said before, Jimin is a walking contradiction and Minjeong's so hopelessly captivated by her but the question still begs to be answered: Where does she stand?

____

well damn...both of them down bad for each other ig (obviously)

hope you guys enjoyed! upvote and comment for faster update! <3 really appreciate it if you does! <3 let me know if there's any mistake!