❝ AS THE SMOKE DISSIPATED ❞

1

"I'm home!"

You shouted as you opened the door, and there, sitting in the living room was your intoxicated stepmother, her head lazily hanging on the couch headrest while bottles of beer were spread in the room.

The rain started to fall, luckily you were home in time.

"Mom Eri?" You sighed as you flopped down into the couch beside her, she then groggily woke up, she wiped her mouth as she drooled in her sleep, and you couldn't help but laugh.

"Tired from your previous customer?" You asked as you grabbed one of the beers at the table and flicked it open, gulping as Eri held her forehead and stood up, but her legs wobbled, making her sit back.

Your stepmother works as a stripper at the city's largest nightclub, and a huge amount of money was on the way, but you and your stepmother chose to stay in this apartment for a while. You were working as a waiter at the same nightclub when you graduated from college and came to the city to live with your stepmother and work a part-time job that is now your main source of income and employment.

"That humongous shit was eleven inches!" Your stepmother Eri shouted as she clapped and laughed, you spat the beer as you looked at you're her disgustingly.

"What the fuck? Too much information." Y/n rolled her eyes.

Yes, you drank alcohol, and working at a nightclub influenced you to drink at some time, but you told yourself that drinking would be your limit.

Nothing more.

You looked around, and it was still the same shabby apartment, with paper-thin walls and narrow corridors.

"Hard being a stripper, that's one thing for sure." She said as she grabbed the bag under the couch, zipping it open, she was met with tons of money packed inside the bag.

"That reminds me of before." You mumbled, making Eri look at you with a smug.

"Aren't you grateful for me?" She bantered.

"Of course— I mean yes I do." You scoffed.

"When my parents aren't there for me, you were there, so I don't really know what's the big deal about being dramatic and shit. It's just a pain in the ass." You added.

It's painful to admit, but you miss your real parents. You haven't heard from them since you were a child; they just abandoned you for some reason that still bothers you; they vanished with no trace, not even a speck of dust.

Rumors spread that they were affiliated with criminal organizations, that they had committed crimes, that they had engaged in illegal gambling, that their wealth had gone down the drain as a result of their gambling addiction, and that they had fallen into a deep abyss.

But you believe none of them.

You wanted to hear it from your parents directly, not through rumors spreading around your neighborhood.

"At this point, I don't even know if they are even alive or dead."

Your stepmother looked at you, she sighed as she bent down and counted her money, a cigarette in her mouth as she puffed a smoke.

"Don't tell me you already gave up finding them."

"Tsk, I don't even know if it's worth finding after abandoning me." Rolling your eyes, you stood up to take a bath, but the sudden knock on your door startled the both of you.

"I'll open it." You said as you walked to the door, and opened it.

"Hey!" A lady said with two more women behind her, all wearing revealing clothes.

"Is Eri in there?"

"Ah, yeah, come in." You said, must be her friends from the club.

"Nadia! What made you come here?" Eri said, you sighed as you entered your room, but thanks to the thin walls, you can still hear them chatting. The walls do have one advantage, especially if you're a nosey one. At the very least, you were grateful for the walls.

Not really minding what they were talking about, you went to fix the clothes that were laying on the back of your chair, deciding to be finally productive in cleaning your room.

"Hey, your daughter's name is Y/n, right?"

You overheard your name being mentioned, and can't help but listen to their conversation more.

"She's too pretty to be only working as a waiter at our nightclub." One of her friends said.

"Being a stripper like us is perfect for her, I mean her salary will be doubled, and she's working with us and we'll keep her safe, eh?"

You scrunched your nose from the idea, you? Working as the same job as them? But you took it as a compliment though.

"C'mon Nadia. I have different plans for her. I want her to have a bright future, different from us."

"Mhm, you said so, but I hope you don't think too lowly of our job. We may be showing our tits to those old scum men, but rest assured we're making a bank."

Being a waiter, let alone at a nightclub is more than enough, you completely have no problems with the strippers or other women doing those. As a matter of fact, you find them cool, but you just can't imagine yourself doing it. Hell, you can't even lift yourself from those poles, your stamina can't just keep up with it.

Minutes passed, and your mother's friends were still talking in the living room, just some adult stuff that is clearly not your business. Fixing the last clothes, you lazily slopped into your bed, staring at the white ceiling.

"Well then, goodbye Eri! I still have a date." One of the friends said. You heard the door close and the living room fell silent, going back to the usual.

After hearing their conversation, a sudden idea popped into your mind.

"I finished college with a double degree, having a sideline as a waitress while finding a suitable job, financially stable and healthy, yet why am I still living like this?"

"I know I should be grateful but... why?"

"Do I need to rush something, perhaps I should grow up?" You know the idea wasn't good, but after hearing what they said, you couldn't help but feel a little insecure about your life and well-being.

Lifting your fingers, you counted, raindrops counting with you.

One

You had dignity and sanity with you, it can't just be ruined like that.

Two

The clock was ticking, and you felt as if you were running out of time, as if you needed to hurry things.

Three

Slapping your cheeks, you groaned as you covered your face while still laying on the bed.

Four

You have no energy, not knowing if is it because of your job or the words that you heard a while ago.

Five

You felt so young as if you needed to grow up, and you began to feel ashamed because your stepmother is the only one who reaps a lot of money, and you would usually pay the bare minimum while Eri almost paid for the majority of the expenses; she always tells you to focus on your school and job, and she also mentioned how proud she was of you for working hard; she almost treated you like her real daughter.

Six

Working in a nightclub affected you; you learned about illegal things but never did them; you were astounded at how people do such things like that, risking their life and family; would it benefit them in some way? Or are some people simply blinded by greed?

Seven

Nevertheless, you hate crimes, you despise gangs.

Eight

You never imagined yourself being affiliated with some criminal organization. Those rumors can sometimes eat your system up. Play with your minds. 

Nine

Y/n has her reasons, and they aren't merely because she feels purity, sanity, or dignity bestowed upon her, a reason which she despises.

Ten

Fog filled the room, with the wind blowing in as the smoke dissipated.

"I'm never going to become like them."