Scorpius to Albus:

Scorpius: Now that you're out of my life, I'm so much better.

Albus: I'm you're best friend, I don't know what you mean.

Scorpius: You thought that I'd be weak without you, but I'm stronger.

Albus: No I didn't. I think that text was meant for Rose, m8, did you just break up with her?

Scorpius: You thought that I'd be broke without you, but I'm richer.

Albus: You're richer than me.

Scorpius: You thought that I'd be sad without you, I laugh harder

Albus: What are you saying?

Scorpius: Thought I wouldn't grow without you, now I'm wiser.

Albus: Did you use a time turner?

Scorpius: Thought that I'd be helpless without you, but I'm smarter.

Albus: You're smarter than I am, but plz don't tell me you're as stupid as James.

Scorpius: You thought that I'd be stressed without you, but I'm chillin'.

Albus: I'm on Christmas vacation, it's not a big deal.

Scorpius: You thought I wouldn't sell without you, sold nine million.

Albus: Sell? Is Scorpius Malfoy a stripper? *gags*

Scorpius: I'm a survivor

Albus: That's nice.

Scorpius: What?

Albus: WHAT?! What's so wrong with saying that's nice?

Scorpius: I'm not gon' give up (what?)

Albus: Why da parenthesis?

Scorpius: I'm not gon' stop (what?)

Albus: Stop what?

Scorpius: I'm gon' work harder (what?)

Albus: You're lazy.

Scorpius: I'm a survivor (what?)

Albus: Why do you keep saying what? it triggers me!

Scorpius: I'm gonna make it (what?)

Albus: Make wat?

Scorpius: I will survive (what?)

Albus: What? As in word? Ok.... why u using Muggle slang?

Scorpius: Keep on survivin'(what?)

Albus: Ummm....

Scorpius: I'm a survivor (what?)

Albus: Ummm...

Scorpius: I'm not gon' give up (what?)

Albus: I would love to see your father try to swim in frozen water.

Scorpius: I'm not gon' stop (what?)

Albus: What ya gonna stop?

Scorpius: I'm gon' work harder (what?)

Albus: Scorpius you're dedicated to using time turners.

Scorpius: I'm a survivor (what?)

Albus: This triggers the c**p out of me.

Scorpius: I'm gonna make it (what?)

Albus: Rubbish.

Scorpius: I will survive (what?)

Albus: Stupid.

Scorpius: Keep on survivin'(what?)

Albus: That's nice...?

Scorpius: Thought I couldn't breathe without you, I'm inhaling

Albus: I always thought you had asthma so that's kinda tru cuz I stole ur inhaler.

Scorpius: You thought I couldn't see without you, perfect vision

Albus: You have perfect vision regardless.

Scorpius: You thought I couldn't last without you, but I'm lastin'.

Albus: I know your lasting. Stop bragging already.

Scorpius: You thought that I would die without you, but I'm livin'.

Albus: James needs to die in a hole.

Scorpius: Thought that I would fail without you, but I'm on top.

Albus: You're not on top, Rose is.

Scorpius: Thought it would be over by now, but it won't stop

Albus: What? Is Rose playing too hard?

Scorpius: Thought that I would self destruct, but I'm still here

Albus: I never thought you would self destruct.

Scorpius: Even in my years to come, I'm still gon' be here

Albus: well unless you're clumsy and you fall out of an open window.

Scorpius: I'm a survivor (what?) I'm not gon' give up (what?) I'm not gon' stop (what?) I'm gon' work harder (what?) I'm a survivor (what?) I'm gonna make it (what?) I will survive (what?) Keep on survivin'(what?)

Albus: STOP WITH THE QUESTION MARKS ALREADY!

Scorpius: I'm a survivor (what?) I'm not gon' give up (what?) I'm not gon' stop (what?) I'm gon' work harder (what?) I'm a survivor (what?) I'm gonna make it (what?) I will survive (what?) Keep on survivin'(what?)

Albus: You just said that.

Scorpius: Wishing you the best.

Albus: Thanks. You too!

Scorpius: Pray that you are blessed.

Albus: Same to you.

Scorpius: Bring much success, no stress, and lots of happiness, I'm better than that.

Albus: That was random.

Scorpius: I'm not gon' blast you on the radio

Albus: You can't sing. You sound like a dying goat.

Scorpius: I'm better than that

Albus: Obviously.

Scorpius: I'm not gon' lie on you and your family

Albus: thx man.

Scorpius: I'm better than that

Albus: That's what she said.

Scorpius.I'm not gon' hate on you in the magazines

Albus: I'm not sure whether I should thank u or not.

Scorpius: I'm better than that, I'm not gon' compromise my Christianity.

Albus: You're an Atheist.

Scorpius:I'm better than that.  You know I'm not gon' diss you on the internet. Cause my mama taught me better than that

Albus: ok.

Scorpius: I'm a survivor (what?)

Albus: I'm not gon' give up (what?)

Scorpius: Im not gon give up. What?

Albus: I'm not gon' stop (what?)

Scorpius: Oml. It took you that long to realize? You like Beyoncé

Albus: my brother blasts it all the time. I like this song though.

Scorpius: if my mom found out you hated Beyoncé, she would murder you.

Albus: oml 😂