Requested by: LilianaPotterWeasley

Albus Dumbledore to Lucius Malfoy:

Dumbledore: Yeah!

Lucius: Albus Dumbledore. What do you want?

Dumbledore: And if your heart stops beating, I'll be here wondering did you get what you deserve?

Lucius: Albus Dumbledore, you must not talk to me like that.

Dumbledore: The ending of your life?

Lucius: I will end your life before you even think about ending mine.

Dumbledore: And if you get to heaven, I'll be here waiting, babe.

Lucius: Why did you just call me babe, f****t?

Dumbledore: Did you get what you deserve?

Lucius: YOU DESERVE TO BE DEAD YOU FILTHY BLOOD-TRAITOR!

Dumbledore: The end, and if your life won't wait.

Lucius: Urgh! MY FATHER WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS!

Dumbledore: Then your heart can't take this.

Lucius: Take what? Take some sort of Muggle-loving s**t?

Dumbledore: Have you heard the news that you're dead?

Lucius: I wish it were the other way, Albus.

Dumbledore: No one ever had much nice to say.

Lucius: I'm sure Draco and Narcissa do, along with Severus.

Dumbledore: I think they never liked you anyway!

Lucius: *in head* What do I do... what do I do.... *on text* MY FATHER WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS!

Dumbledore: Oh, take me from the hospital bed

Lucius: And turn you into the Dark Lord? Gladly.

Dumbledore: Wouldn't it be grand? It ain't exactly what you planned.

Lucius: It's exactly what I want.

Dumbledore: And wouldn't it be great if we were dead? Oh, dead.

Lucius: I am immortal I have a horcrux!

Dumbledore: Tongue-tied and oh, so squeamish.

Lucius: I am not! You filthy blood-traitor!

Dumbledore: You never fell in love.

Lucius: I did!! I fell in love with Narcissa!

Dumbledore: Did you get what you deserve?

Lucius: Yes...

Dumbledore: The ending of your life

Lucius: Hell nah!

Dumbledore: And if you get to heaven, I'll be here waiting, babe.

Lucius: I NEED YOU TO STFU!

Dumbledore: Did you get what you deserve?

Lucius: I'm much more worthy then you'll ever be.

Dumbledore: The end, and if your life won't wait. Then your heart can't take this. Have you heard the new that you're dead? No one ever had much nice to say, I think they never liked you anyway!

Lucius: IM VERY WORTHY YOU IMBECILE!

Dumbledore: Oh, take me from the hospital bed! Wouldn't it be grand to take a pistol by the hand? And wouldn't it be great if we were dead?

Lucius: It would be great if you were dead.

Dumbledore: And in my honest observation during this operation, found a complication in your heart. So long, cause now you've got maybe just two weeks to live. Is that the most the both of you can give?

Lucius: Stop insulting me or, my father will hear about this!

Dumbledore: One, two, one, two, three, four! La la la la la La la la la la la La la la la la la la Well, come on La la la la la La la la la la la La la la la la la la!

Lucius: F**K OFF!

Dumbledore: Oh, motherf****r!

Lucius: Don't you dare call me that!

Dumbledore: If life ain't just a joke then why are we laughing?

Lucius: Hey! Your entire existence is a joke!

Dumbledore: If life ain't just a joke then why are we laughing? If life ain't just a joke then why are we laughing? If life ain't just a joke then why am I dead? Dead!

Lucius: I will hope you die, you filthy blood-traitor.

Dumbledore: Cash me outside how bout dah?

Lucius: Shut up you blood traitor or my father will hear about this!

Dumbledore: That was a lyric prank. And also, using your son's catchphrase? That's low.

Lucius: What? I was trying to defend myself.

Dumbledore: Oh please. We both know I'm more powerful then you'll ever be.

Lucius: well my family would disagree!

Dumbledore: You're raising Draco the wrong way, Lucius.

Lucius: I AM NOT!

Dumbledore: If I'm still alive, I'll make sure Draco's son or daughter is being raised correctly, and by anyone but you!

Lucius: HEY!

Dumbledore: Good day, Lucius. We all know I'm better than you.

Lucius Malfoy blocked Albus Dumbledore.

Dumbledore: That wasn't smart. Now when Draco gets into trouble, Lucius can't get him out of it.

Next update: July 3, 2017. Thanks so much for reading!

Any requests? Comment them here. Make sure to include the song title and the characters!

Thanks so much for reading I love you all! Goodbye!

Next update: July 3, 2017.