"Y/N, will you please stop looking at Sirius like the sun shines out of his ass?"
You broke your gaze with flushed cheeks, turning to look at your friends. Alice was looking at you with a weird expression, book on her lap long forgotten. Lily was sitting next to her, quill scratching against the parchment as she wrote. She was trying hard to suppress a smile on her face.
"I don't look at him like the sun shines out of his ass," you replied indignantly. Lily snorted and finally looked up with a look on her face that said 'really?'
You huffed before returning to your own essay, trying to ignore laughter coming from the other side of the common room, heart fluttering at the sound.
It was a rainy Saturday afternoon, which meant that all the students were confined to their common rooms. This was the first time in a really long time that the Gryffindor common room was this crowded, as nearly the entire house was scattered around. There was chatter and laughter everywhere. Sitting at one of the larger desks, you and your friends tried to finish your Charms essay due tomorrow.
Laughter broke out from beside the fireplace again. You didn't have to look up to recognize it was Sirius. You knew his laughter too well.
You had had a crush on Sirius since your third year. Now you were halfway through your sixth, and your feelings for him were stronger than ever. You knew him well enough. Considering James loved finding every opportunity to talk to Lily, you'd crossed paths more often than not. You'd never said more than a hello, or how are you? since you could never bring yourself to talk to him. Sirius had this way of holding himself that unnerved you, yet was what attracted you to him in the first place.
Your crush had grown to an embarrassing affection for the boy. You longed to talk to him, laugh with him, hang out with him, just do things with him. But you had a terrible case of social anxiety. And Sirius was far too intimidating, in your opinion. Even though literally everyone said otherwise.
"Y/N, you're staring again," Alice sighed. "Honestly? We've talked about this! Either tell him about it, or move on. This middle ground situation is going to tear you apart."
You put your quill down and sighed. "You don't think I've tried, Alice? I spend every day thinking, 'okay this is the day I get over Sirius', and I keep thinking I'll be alright, that I can handle being around him, but then he smiles like... like that, and then suddenly it's back to square one."
Lily's eyes shone with pity as she looked at you. "Oh hon, you need to tell him. This has gone way past the stage where you can get over him. Maybe you can talk it out?"
You scoffed. "Me? Talk to Sirius? I'm sorry Lily, have you met me?"
You picked up your quill again, writing furiously on your parchment, signaling the end of the conversation. You hated yourself for how awkward you were. But you couldn't help it. You had a natural instinct to avoid Sirius, because you knew you'd embarrass yourself when you talked to him. Gritting your teeth, you forced your mind to return to your essay.

You hummed to yourself as you prepared for bed, brushing your hair and fluffing up the pillows. You knew you wouldn't be able to fall asleep, staying in the common room the whole day had made you restless. You couldn't settle down enough to relax into your bed, and you knew your friends felt the same way.
You turned around to look at them, raising an eyebrow when you saw them both sitting on Lily's bed, patting a spot next to them.
"Let's play a game," Alice said. "C'mon it'll be fun. How about Truth or Dare?"
You rolled your eyes and snorted. "Truth or Dare? That's so mainstream."
Alice pulled a face. "You have a better idea?"
You shrugged and joined them on the bed. There was nothing else to do. "Only until I start to get sleepy, okay?"

An hour into the game and you had tears of laughter streaming from your eyes. You all had done terrifyingly brilliant things. Admitted certain dirty secrets. More recently, Lily had stepped out of the bathroom with shocking pink hair that she would have to keep for twenty four hours. As Lily settled back down, Alice turned to you. "Your turn."
"Truth," you said automatically, you would die before you chose a dare.
Alice smiled wickedly. "Nuh-uh. You already chose truth three times. Now you have to choose dare before you can choose truth again. "
Your smiled disappeared when you realized she was right. Dammit. As you stared at Alice, you knew immediately what she'd make you do.
"No."
Alice was already shaking her head. "No take backs Y/N, you know that."
You felt your heart quicken but you didn't reply, knowing you were stuck.
"He's still in the common room. Saw him there while I snuck down to the kitchens."
You gulped. "Alice, give me something else. Anything. Please, do not make me confess to Sirius. I'll do literally anything else!"
"That's why you have to do this." was Alice's reply. She had already grabbed your arm and was leading you to the door. "Come on, Y/N. Don't be a wuss. You can do this. You will do this. Aren't you tired of constantly pining after Sirius?"
"Actually, no. I'm perfectly content with the way my life is, thank you very m-" The door slammed shut. You heard a click, signaling that it was locked. You groaned and knocked.
"Alice, please stop being immature."
A muffled voice replied instantly. "You're the immature one here, Y/N. It's just one simple dare. Do it, and you can come back in. Until then, good night."
You don't know how long you sat with your back against the door, but it was long enough to make your toes numb with cold. Now, you felt anger build up in you.
This is ridiculous Y/N. You call yourself a Gryffindor? How shameful. Can't even tell a boy how you feel. Letting out a huff, you finally stood up, joints cracking. There was only one way out of this.
The common room fire was still blazing, and you could see a mop of black hair over the top of the couch. Sirius probably heard your footsteps, as he turned around to look. Surprise registered on his face as he looked at you. "Y/N! Hi."
You smiled and sat down next to him, your heart was beating so loud you were afraid it'd burst out of your chest. You sent up a silent prayer to whoever was listening before clearing your throat.
"You're awake." Immediately, your cheeks grew hot. Thank you, Captain Obvious. You didn't dare to look at him, just continued staring at the fire.
Sirius huffed out a laugh. "Well, yes. That's a nice observation." He nudged you playfully, causing you to jump slightly. You let out a breath and looked at him, finally. His eyes were filled with mirth, a smirk playing on his face. He already hates you.
Shaking the thought from your head, you started playing with the hem of your shirt. Ugh, why was this so hard.
"You couldn't sleep?" Sirius asked. You shook your head.
"No. I mean, yes I could. But um, I had something to do."
Sirius's eyebrow raised. "Oh?"
Taking a deep breath, you squeezed your eyes shut before speaking.
"If I tell you I... you know... care about you... would you laugh at me?"
Silence.
Your nails were digging into the palm of your hand. Your face was already heating up again. You didn't dare look at Sirius. You didn't even want to know what he was thinking right now.
"I won't laugh." His voice was soft. Ever so slowly, he moved slightly closer to you. You didn't shift a muscle.
Silence took over you two again. Then, mustering every last ounce of courage, you looked up. Sirius was staring at you expectantly. You blinked.
"Right. There's.... I should-I should say something. I know I'm... me... but I like you. A lot."
You took another shaky breath. By now, your hands had gone clammy and sweaty. But once you'd started, you couldn't seem to stop talking.
"What I mean to say is.... look, I like being around you. I like when you're happy. I... I like your face."
Sirius smirked at you. "You like my face?"
Immediately, you realized what you had just said. You started internally screaming. What the hell was that, Y/N?! You tried to backtrack.
"No! I mean, yes. Your face is nice, but you're more nice. I want to be around you a lot. And your face."
You cringed at your own words. Oh my god. This was turning out to be as much of a disaster as you had dreaded. You opened your mouth to talk again, try and take everything back, when you realized Sirius was laughing.
Your insides twisted. You had completely, utterly and infinitely embarrassed yourself, but Sirius was laughing. That suppressed little laugh that sent him into a fit of giggles. You felt yourself smile as you looked at him.
"Oh Merlin, you are so adorable." Wait, what?
"What?" You looked at him incredulously.
He nodded, a huge smile on his face. "You are way too cute, Y/N. I want to hear you talk all day."
Your barely gone blush returned full force and you instinctively looked down at your lap, fidgeting with your hands, unable to hold eye contact. Your heart was beating so loud, you were positive Sirius could hear it. A soft finger pressed under your chin, making you look up.
"Fortunately, I happen to like your face too." He was still grinning, and you let out a shaky laugh.
"Will you let me take this face out on a date?"