
Fade Into Nothing (One Shot Contest)
This chapter is written for the One Shot contest held by the Harry Potter community underdoggos for the month of November.
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| Fade Into Nothing |
| Mary Macdonald |
Word Count (of just the one shot, not including upper details): 2086 words
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~ MADE FRIENDS BUT LOST THEM THROUGH THE YEARS. ~
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[July 15th, 1978]
I will miss Hogwarts. True, it feels great at having graduated finally but one things for sure; no matter what happens next in my life, my school days will forever remain the happiest memories for me. With the war hovering above us, it was downright impossible to have such a carefree school life but I guess all the credit for it goes to those notorious Marauders.
The four of them are proof of living, walking entertainment. Hagrid's right; they can give any circus a run for its money. Just last week at the graduation feast, they turned up in merely their school robes becoming the center of everyone's attention. Yup, a lot of ogling from the students and exasperation from the teachers was expected. And I do wonder what fiasco they are going to create tonight at Marlene's Post Graduation party.
I really admire Marlene for being so vibrant even in this dull crises of war. She truly is a beacon of light and happiness. And this party she's arranging is also another of her ways to blow up the tension. I must admit, with the stressful Order missions going on, all of us badly need a break.
And we can always count on Marlene to take care of that. This has been the very thing I love most about her. Not only she's perfect (there really is not other word to describe her) but also she's very considerate.
I can never forget the way she stood up for me when that Mulciber and his Slytherin cronies attacked me with Dark Magic in our sixth year. She visited me each day in the Hospital Wing even though I was unconscious and would never have known about that if Madam Pomfrey hadn't told me later. At times I can't help but wonder what did I ever do to deserve such a true friend like her.
In fact, I feel so thankful for all the friends I have. Lily, Marlene, Dorcas, Remus, Peter and of course who can ever forget James and Sirius? All of them have been there for me every single time I needed them and I try my best to always be there for them as well.
[August 26th, 1979]
After so long, today it almost felt like we had gone back to Hogwarts. James and Lily got married and trust me, their wedding was one giant affair like we had a ll hoped. All of us felt truly happy after such a long time of dealing with the bleak aspects of war.
This night was the best we could possibly have in all the years to come. We were all together and for the whole of the event we seemed to have entered a bright world of our own in which all of us friends could spend all the time being silly together and not giving a shit about what laid ahead of us in the future.
Sirius, being the Best Man, was on his very best behavior throughout the evening, that is, until he discovered the Firewhiskey section in the bar. And obviously, he gave a hilariously punny Best Man speech afterwards. Most of the guests had absolutely no idea what he was talking about except us. We were all doing our very best to keep up serious faces but gave in to the line:
"When it's all over and people are sitting around, telling tails of these two, they will be telling each other the purest love story anyone has ever herd."
And later, Remus told us that the literary masterpiece of Sirius's speech was was actually doctored by Peter. All in all, tonight was unforgettable. Especially due to the fact that Marlene got a little too high at the after-party and not only did she kiss me but also started confessing her eternal never ending love for me. To top it all off, Dorcas filmed the entire scene on Remus's camera and I'm kinda worried that it may end up in James and Lily's wedding album as well.
Not that I regret it. But I guess she only said it in the heat of the moment and also if she were sober she would never have said that. I mean... She couldn't. It's true that I've had a major crush on her but she never noticed it before so why now?
Guess I should stop stressing about it. She was quite wasted after all... She's probably in love with Sirius not me. Or perhaps...? I just don't know. But love or not, I would never jeopardize my friendship with her. I can't sacrifice my years of friendship with her on the account of nonreciprocal feelings. I just can't.
I don't know whether she feels the same but no matter what, I'll bury my feelings deep in my heart if she wants it to be this way. Ever since our fourth year, I've never really had a say in my life. It automatically revolves around her. As if she were the Sun itself while I... Just a planet in orbit around her.
[December 25th, 1980]
Even though it's Christmas Eve, not much of the Christmas spirit is visible at all. Instead of streets filled with choirs singing hymns and carols, a dreadful silence prevails everywhere. The only sound which was shattering the silence was the radio, announcing more killings and even more disappearances. The whole of the Bones family had been murdered by the Death Eaters. The Prewett twins are missing as well. And such that, the Order members are depreciating day by day.
From the past few months, each day starts with the news of people we know getting murdered or taken away by the Death Eaters. And each sleepless night ends up in nightmares. Us Aurors and Order members haven't been much successful against the Dark Forces either.
And this Christmas, all of us have only one wish. That wish is for everything to become normal again. For this terrible war to cease. For our happy days to return and all these horrors to fade. And all of us hope earnestly for this wish to be granted soon so we can escape from this traumatic cage of destruction.
[March 18th, 1981]
The start of spring after the cold winter is considered as the dawn of fresh hope by many people. When I was quite little, my father used to take me to his fields and show me the crops glittering and dancing in the comforting sunshine and light breeze. He always used to say that no matter how depressing the winter is, spring always comes after it.
All the plants which dry up in the heavy blizzards are blessed with new life when the spring breeze engulfs the barren land in its arms to make it fertile again. He told me that just like the snow melts into fountains of water, the same way all the scars and bruises gradually fade into nothing. All it needs is a little time.
And he was right. All it needs is a little time. Then everything eventually becomes alright. I might not have been a firm believer in this theory before, but now it seems like I should start believing. After all, it's working for me. I have a feeling that we will all be alright. All we need is a little time and then gradually we'll overcome all the obstacles. Just like it happened with me and Marlene.
Despite the war, this spring brought fresh hope for us both. A new beginning. Together. We have been rushing through a lot lately and I know Both of us would have expected it to be a bit different altogether, but it doesn't really matter. What matters is that we finally got together.
It's still a bit hard for me to believe it all. That the one person I love from the depths of my heart feels the same for me. That in spite of all, we found each other. It feels better now that she's with me. Almost as if I have been strengthened. Just like those dried up plants, it feels as if I, too, have been blessed with new life.
A life in which I'm not alone but standing with my Marlene, holding her hand in mine. She's like the warm breeze that Spring bestows upon the winter struck Earth. And I would do anything for these moments and our love to last forever.
[July 30th, 1981]
It all seems like a horrifying nightmare. Even though a week or two has passed, I can still hear the radio echoing in my mind like the crack of doom. The words still harrow up my soul. The torture agonizes me every time I close my eyes.
Marlene had gone. Forever. Her lifeless face traumatizes me in the dark. Her blue eyes that were so full of life would never glow again. And all because of Voldemort. All due to this horrifying war. All due to that abominable monster spreading terror everywhere. I lost my Marlene and I could never see her again. Never touch her beautiful face ever again. Never be able to take her hand in mine.
Once again, I was left all alone. And this once, there seemed no end to this torture. All hope had evaporated from my life the day she was buried deep down in the Earth. Winter had strengthened its hold over me and was not going to end ever. The spring breeze could never return. I was destined to remain desolate forever.
I still recall that day clearly. As vivid as if it were just yesterday. It was a few days before Marlene's birthday and I had bought the most special present for her. An engagement ring. And when I had come home, instead of her lovely voice, I was greeted by the wrecking sound of the radio giving the horrible news of the murder of all the McKinnons. Just like the Bones and the Prewetts, the whole family had been terminated. Including her.
When I reached her family home, Remus and Sirius were there too. When they carried Marlene out and I saw her so lifeless, I just couldn't stop myself. My world had come crashing down on me. With Marlene, every single reason for my existence was buried deep in the grave. And so was that ring. Every happiness of mine went to her grave along with her.
[November 5th, 1981]
After Marlene, life took an even horrible turn. Just when I couldn't expect for anything worse, than what had already taken place, to happen. One by one, every single person I cared for (or was close to me) was ripped apart from me. There hasn't been any sign of Dorcas for months either. No one knows if she's alive or not. First Marlene left, then Dorcas and then James, Lily, Peter... Even Sirius is behind the bars.
Life has been so cruel for us. Unbearably cruel. Only Remus and I are left. And even he says he has no strength left in him to face me after all this. And neither do I. Out of all our friends, just we both are still living in this tortuous prison of life.
With little Harry's survival, the war ended. The Dark Lord was vanquished at last. But our spring could never come. People like us fight in the war for the cause of our younger generations. Most of us die but the only memory left of them are their names as the martyrs for a good cause.
Our names are recited in Church at memorial days, candles are lightened and prayers are said, But no one actually knows how much we suffered. Especially those of us who didn't die. Who are living an empty life but can't do anything about it.
The world has been celebrating Voldemort's downfall while me and Remus have been hiding in the dark surrounded by memories that are too painful to recall now. Our thoughts are cramped with the faces of our friends. Such great friends that we could all give our life for each other in a heartbeat. Friends we made in our happy school days yet lost them through the years like petals of a wilted rose.
Just like the snow melts into bubbling streams of water, our scars and bruises faded as well. But along with these battle scars, we too faded into nothing.
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