Dear Diary,

Life can be so frustrating sometimes. It has been for quite a while now. The same depressing routine. Get up, eat, sulk, cry at the drop of a hat, eat, nap, eat, sleep. It has been like this since The Chamber. 

The nightmares return every now and then. Especially on the days when I can't practise the spells or Quidditch. It's on such days that I wish I could live that life I dreamed about. 

Not the one where I marry Harry and have multitude of kids. That seems a tad bit shallow. Not to mention gross.

No, I am talking about the other one.

The one where I graduate Hogwarts in flying colours. The one where I pursue Charms and Transfiguration. The one where I have a job which I like. With a descent salary.

 I am not sure what that job is, though.

Hmm....what can I become when I grow up?

 I could be a Cursebreaker, like Bill, if I start practising now (which I have already, as you know) but not a Dragonologist, like Charlie. I'd rather eat dung than do that. It's far above my league and I have no interest in becoming a dragon bait, thank you very much.

Potions. Well, let's just say that Weasley family has got a kind of an allergic reaction to making potions. We just suck at it. Exception being Percy, of course.

 Fred and George say that a Healer has to be kind and patient in order to care for others.. They also say that I am good at neither (keep your views to yourself, you pair of Gillywobble). And that I am better at maiming than healing. They're idiots, really. Don't believe a word they say. 

Back to the point, I can't be a Healer because I am, as mentioned above, not good at potions. 

And I am not good with words enough to write a book, or formal enough to write in a seriously boring newspaper. And I am not a gossiper (just a moderate amount, if you must know) so Daily Prophet is out of the question

Training security Trolls is out too because I don't want to. I read somewhere that smelling trolls regularly might get us one of those muggle problems called Stroke. And it might get fatal. And it's not like I would have much chances of surviving even with a  mask on. Being in the same room as a creature as dumb as a rock (Wow. That was mean of me. Sorry, rock) which also happens to hold a club thrice my size does not seem very healthy to me. 

I could also just start a company but I have zero ideas of what I'd sell. Not to mention that I'll have to make something that is better than what other, more experienced companies have made. Then I'll have to compete with them for customers. Seriously, that doesn't sound like me at all. It's Fred and George's area of expertise, not mine.

I would have said I could be an artist. But I am not all that willing to work full time. Besides, I am not that good. I just doodle around a bit. Most of it are all about Holyhead Harpies, Brooms and, uh, Harry.

So, yeah. Outta question. It's more of a hobby.

Then there's singing. Well, I have seven words for you. You'd die if you heard me sing.

What else is there? Oh yeah, there's wandmaking. I am not sure if I am up for it. I'll have to know about wandlore a bit more to consider it. It sounds complicated...

I could also research or develop spells. Did I mention that I am good at Charms? No? Well, guess what? I am good at Charms! I think I can pull it off.

I don't think I could be a Historian. I don't find History fun. Okay, they are kinda interesting but it's not my cup of tea, you know.

There are also the small jobs. Like being the driver of Hogwarts Express, or being the Trolley lady, or being the driver or conductor of the Knight Bus.

No. They don't seem appealing.

So, next would be acting. I am not that bad at acting, if you ask me. Maybe I should check it out?

But what I would like to do is all in Quidditch. My skills aren't that bad. I can do quick loops and dodge some of the more violent gnomes, Charlie, John and Blubber, and the lower tree branches. I can catch a feather flying away with the wind even when it's raining.  I am also quite good at throwing dad's old boots in the bin from a distance. 

But I can't be sure, I have never tried competing with others. Never. I am just trying out whatever I fancy doing.

I have been practising as a seeker too you know? 

So here's my plan, I'd become a Quidditch player, first and foremost, and win some cups for Holyhead Harpies, then, when I get older and my skills get rusty, I'll tangle myself in politics (it's a 'maybe') and bad-mouth the government. And then I'll try to get a position in Hogwarts as Charms proffessor. I'll teach till I start rotting. Then I'll retire and go to some place sunny to soothe my bones.

See? I have my life planned. It's loose enough to leave some room for new ideas and tight enough to be a roadmap of life.

My primary goal for now is to pursue Charms as my main subject. For that I'll have to pay special attention to it. And I'll also study DADA real hard. My first year was pretty trashy. What with You-Know-Who in his diary and a rather huge snake slithering around the school.

I like Transfiguration a bit too, so it won't be left to collect dust. Don't worry.

So, that's it. My future is all planned out here, in this crinkly page which nobody except me will read. Maybe one day, years later, I'll read this very page and remember what my 11 year old self wanted to be. And I'll compare myself with what I used to be and amuse myself over how much I changed ever since. 

I wonder how much I will change...

~Ginny