A/N: Just a oneshot of Albus, Sirius bonding with Snape while living in his quarters. Takes place in chapter 18 before Fred and George throw Graham into the vanishing cabinet.
Enjoy!

Albus was tucked into Severus's couch under the large, fluffy blanket Harry preferred when he was in the chambers. He took another bite of his chocolate bar and sighed deeply. He now had much more respect for the dementors and more sympathy for their prisoners than he ever had after his disastrous adventure with Harry to Little Hangleton. The man dramatically jumped when a house elf popped in suddenly. "Winky sends Dobby with hot chocolate for Headmaster Dumblydore," Dobby said, holding out a steaming mug.

"Ah, thank you, Dobby," Albus took the mug with a weak smile. "Thank Winky for me too."

"Winky says Dumblydore did this to hisself and Dobby should gives him no sympathy," the elf frowned at him. "Dumblydore seems sad though."

"Just emotionally tired. Winky is correct. I made a mistake, and Harry had to give my soul a bit of a shake," he explained to the elf with a chuckle at Winky's conclusions.

"Come on Snape...just answer the question," Sirius was pestering the man as they both re-entered the sitting room from Severus's potions lab.

"No, I will not play your childish game. Drink this Albus," the potion master handed a vial of calming draught to his employer.

"I already drank one of these," Dumbledore wrinkled his nose at the foul-tasting potion.

"Yes, and you need another one. The mutt obviously needs one as well," he sneered at his companion. "Maybe we should start a muggle IV of calming draught for him though."

"Spoil-sport," Sirius frowned before turning to the new addition in the room. "Make him play with me, Dobby. He's so up-tight."

"What's the dog-man playing?" Dobby smiled between them indulgently.

"Shag, marry, kill," Sirius jumped up and down excitedly. "He has to answer for Hagrid, McGonagall, and Filch."

"I've never heard of this game before," Dumbledore quickly downed the potion and chased it with a large sip of hot chocolate. "You are supposed to be keeping an eye on me...maybe playing a game will pass the time a bit? What are the rules, Sirius, my boy?"

"It's in the name of the game, Albus," Snape turned his sneer on the rest of the room now. "Black is an imbecile and more childish than the first-years I teach."

"Ooo, sounds fun!" Dobby clapped his hands and sat beside Dumbledore on the couch. "Pleeease...call it Dobby's bachelor party!"

"What? Yes!! You have to do it now!" Sirius crowed and immediately raided Snape's liquor cabinet. "This calls for drinks all around. Tequila for Albus since it isn't a downer and Scotch for the rest of us."

"Do not open the good bottle from Minerva, Black! Grab the one that's already been opened," Snape sighed and gave in, knowing he wasn't going to win now that Dumbledore was already asking the elf about his wedding plans.

"Dobby, might there happen to be margarita mix in the kitchen?" Sirius held up the tequila questioningly.

With a snap of his fingers, a pitcher of margarita mix and a bowl of ice were sitting on Snape's cluttered coffee table.

"Dobby...why was there margarita mix in the kitchens?" The Potion Professor looked at the elf suspiciously.

"Professors McGonagall and Sprout," the elf shrugged as if that answered the question. Snape supposed that it probably did.

"Brilliant!" Albus laughed. "Severus...the question...?"

"Fine!" He exasperatedly rolled his eyes. "Shag Minerva...I bet she knows some things..." He trailed off and everyone nodded, Dobby turning pink at the thought.

"Marry Hagrid," Snape continued causing Sirius to laugh loudly. "He's large enough that he'd keep me supplied with blood for years."

"You aren't supposed to kill the person you marry," Dumbledore choked on his hot chocolate.

"I thought you didn't know the rules?" Snape raised an eyebrow at him, sipping the Scotch Black handed to him.

"Well..." Dumbledore turned red.

"Plus, I never said I'd kill him...for a long time anyway," Snape smirked at his former employer. "And...definitely kill Filch. I'm certain that man is part demon or something."

Sirius was cackling as he handed Dumbledore a margarita and Dobby one minus the tequila. "Right, so Dobby...shag, marry, kill...Winky, Kreacher, and Flitwick," he winked at the elf.

"Is it offensive that you only gave Dobby creatures or part-creatures?" Dumbledore asked in all seriousness.

Dobby shrugged. "Dobby isn't offended...but Dobby has to say he'd marry Winky..." he smirked at them. "Er...shag Flitwick and kill Kreacher...for obvious reasons."

"Ah, so you have met the Black house elf," Sirius laughed and plopped on the empty armchair with his large margarita.

Dobby wrinkled his nose. "Dobby doesn't think Kreacher is very pleasant...Winky seems to get along with him though..."

"Of course, she does," Snape nodded, pouring himself a second glass. "Albus, your turn...The Dark Lord, Grindlewald, and..."

"Ooo, Umbridge!" Dobby added in with a laugh.

Dumbledore looked disgusted at the entire list. "You aren't going easy on me are you...?"

"You have to answer," Sirius laughed and conjured little umbrellas to plop in all four of their drinks. Surprisingly, besides a sneer, Snape left the umbrella in his Scotch.

"Right, well, I already had a relationship with Gellert..."

"What?!" The other three men exclaimed in surprise.

"Well, it wasn't a secret, just not something I spread around," the elderly man shrugged. "So, I'll shag Gellert, he was quite good..."

"My ears! I need to curse off my ears!" Sirius exclaimed dramatically.

"I'll marry Tom to give myself more time and access to find a way to kill him," Dumbledore nodded. "If Severus can break that rule, then I can too."

"Approved," Snape nodded and gave him a little toast with his glass.

"And...I'll gladly kill Umbridge, though I suspect she's probably already dead...not that I know anything about that, mind you," he added on quickly at the end.

"Dobby knows nothing either," the house elf quickly took a sip of his drink in a very suspicious way that the men kindly ignored.

"Right, Sirius..." Dumbledore smiled teasingly. "James, Remus, and Peter..."

"That's too easy, Albus. I could answer that one for him," Snape protested, getting into the game on his third glass of Scotch now.

"Really...what was my answer then?" Sirius raised an interested eyebrow at the man.

"Obviously, you would kill Pettigrew enthusiastically. You'd shag Lupin...I'm not even going to think about in what form...and you'd marry the Potter," he said dismissively.

"Huh...yeah, I guess he could answer for me," the animagus gave a laugh and a shrug.

"Ooo, Dobby knows!" The elf raised his hand excitedly. Honestly, if they didn't know that Dobby's drink didn't contain alcohol, they'd really think about cutting him off. "Mad-Eye Moody, Lucius Malfoy, and Bellatrix Lestrange!"

Sirius grimaced. "Well, Bellatrix is my cousin...and entirely insane...so, I'll definitely kill her."

"Excellent choice," Snape gave him a little toast at that, the pink umbrella in his glass wildly swirling around.

"I really don't think I have a good choice with the other two though," Sirius shuddered and poured himself another margarita. "I guess shag Mad-Eye and marry Lucius. You know Lucy would be trying to kill me the whole time...so, it might be fun."

"You are seriously disturbed," Snape snorted.

"I Sirius-ly am," he said, somehow conveying the spelling in his tone.

"Right, gentlemen," Dumbledore struggled out the blanket he'd been wrapped in. "This is a bachelor party...we need to do this right!"

"More alcohol?!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Strippers?" Snape asked with a disgusted look on his face. "I don't think you should leave the school in your current condition...plus, no."

"Yeah, Winky wouldn't approve," Dobby nodded quickly.

"No, definitely not," Dumbledore sighed and poured himself another margarita. "I think if the four of us put our heads together, we could find something fun to do."

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Harry Potter stopped by Snape's quarters early the next morning to check on Albus. He opened the portrait and stepped through to find Winky grumbling as she cleaned glitter off the floor around four prone forms. Dobby was the only one that was lying on a piece of furniture, even if he was sleeping on the small kitchen table and seemed to have neon green paint splattered across his normally white toga. Harry almost didn't recognize Snape where he was asleep half-way under the coffee table since it seemed the glitter was originating from his no-longer black robes that now looked like something Dumbledore would wear.

Dumbledore himself was curled up in a ball and hugging his beard, softly humming in his sleep over by the unlit fireplace. He looked remarkably clean in relation to the other men. Sirius was somehow wet from head to toe, and Harry really hoped it was water. His head was propped on Snape's leg, and the glitter had rubbed into his hair making it look like he'd been to a rave.

"Do I even want to know?" Harry asked Winky with a slow shake of his head in disbelief. He'd gone hunting in the Forbidden Forest with Hedwig the night before, and he was certain he must have missed out on one hell of a party.

"No," she said with absolute certainty. "Headmaster Scrimgeour is definitely not wanting to goes in his office this morning though...and the portraits in there are already complaining that they's be scarred for life."

"Do you need help cleaning up before the headmaster wakes up then?" Harry offered with a chuckle at what he could only imagine they must have done to the office.

"Why's would I clean it up?" Winky raised an eyebrow and smirked at the teen. "They worked so hard on it."

"But the High Inquisitor...?" Harry cut off when Winky rolled her eyes at him and went back to cleaning up the glitter. "Well, you could just leave this for them to handle themselves then too," he laughed and motioned to the glitter and paint and (hopefully) water. He internally promised to get Winky something really good for her wedding gift.

She stopped and looked around the room contemplatively. "It coulds be another bonding experience..."

"That is very true," Harry nodded with a smirk. Personally, he thought that the men really should clean up after themselves if they all had gotten drunk and pranked the High Inquisitor as it definitely looked like they'd done.

"Right," Winky dropped the trash bag in her hand and instead took Harry's hand to walk out with him.

Once they were out in the corridor, she snapped her fingers. "There they's can't leave until the room's clean now."

Harry laughed. "Well, hopefully Snape doesn't have any early classes today."

"Hmm, we's should go talk to Mistress Minny...no student should have to deals with a hungover vampire on a Monday," she said sagely and led a still laughing dementor by the hand down the hallway.