YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA HOW HUGE IM SMILING I LOOK LIKE CHESHIRE CAT WTF I MISSED STARTING THE CHAPTERS OFF W MY IRRELEVANT ASS A/NS  FUUUuuUuuuKk

okay that was inappropriate i apologize^

and here's my favorite part THE BELOVED SQUISH GIFS :')

onto ze chapter

-

Drastic changes have begun to welcome you, not in the pleasant kind of way either.

Adapting was not an option unfortunately, once Dan's morbid cast began to suffocate the lower half of his leg and take over his life.

In that moment, everything took a huge toll.

The timing to move in with Dan and Phil was as inconsistent as him having to wear a brutal cast for an entire month and a half.

It wasn't necessary, he could have been just peachy with a brace, but the fact that he broke it the slightest inch more, having a cast was inevitable.

You were relieved that it wasn't too long for your liking, heaven forbid you didn't think much of it until he became rather,

Not Dan.

You couldn't even fish out the right words as of how to describe his behavior, you understood that he was in excruciating pain, but the treatment he gave you was rather sour.

When you guys began to move in the hefty boxes was nothing, he was the same chirpy Dan he always played out to be. He acted oblivious towards the whole absurd scenario he would be put through for the next 45 days, in all honesty he didn't bring his focus to it at all. Dan was too engrossed by the way you would sway around the flat so effortlessly.

He didn't believe that this was real life, he couldn't believe that you  were. He informed you of all the things swirling around in his brain that night, how heart eyes Howell he was for you, how he never took his eyes off of you as if every last motion counted. Dan believed that if he ever lost you, he lost himself within you.That was something that really spoke to you, especially because Dan has always been so hasty about opening up.

You truly felt in your heart, in your body, that he meant those things.

That was, until the antibiotics started to kick in.

-

"Y/N?" Phil's knuckles began to play a rhythmic beat on your door, bopping his head as he went.

You giggled to yourself and shook your head at how childish Phil could be, stretching your legs out and wiggling your toes.

By now Phil was starting to hum and you began approach him. As you started to turn the door handle, he was put down yet again by one of Dan's snarky comments.

"PHILIP IT IS NEARLY HALF PAST 9, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU, A DJ-ING WOODPECKER?"

Although Dan's comments have left you feeling irritable lately, this one made you burst into fits of laughter for the first time in what felt like a year.

You opened the door to be met with a frowning Phil, rubbing his knuckle in the process.

Your eyes softened and giggled, rubbing his arm in assurance. "For the record Philly, I thought that was a pretty impressive beat."

Phil cracked a smile and sighed before continuing what he originally knocked for, "I know this is the last thing you want to hear, but it's your day."

You groaned in vexation, your head declining. Days like today were one's you were not fond of, it was your day to be Dan's caregiver.

In the beginning, you were ecstatic to show your loving boyfriend the amazing skills you developed from all the research you've done. You woke up every day with a large grin on your face,  excited that you'd get to spend the day showing how good of a girlfriend you could be to him, even though Dan knew you were from the moment he met you.

As the days dragged on, his focus drifted less on you and more on who was creating what dish on the 'Great British Bake Off.'

Today you wanted things to be different. Although Phil and Louise insisted you have worked to your last sweat gland, it all felt as if it wasn't enough. Pleasing Dan was your top priority, no matter how distant you've become over the past month.

There were 2 weeks left, and you promised yourself that these were going to be the best 2 weeks Dan will have until he is back to living his normal YouTube life.

"Can I come in?" Your nose crinkled instinctively, praying you wouldn't have to flinch at his response.

Dan made an incoherent noise, which you made out to be a yes.

"I made you pancakes just the way you like them." You smiled sweetly, wiggling your eyebrows in a coaxing way.

Dan's cold eyes shot up to your desperate ones, and your subconscious wanted those beautiful eyes to be smizing at you.

Of course, that was far fetched.

He caught on with your constant nagging a long time ago, but in all honesty it was just a coping mechanism for you.

You weren't quite sure whether the spark was completely destroyed by now or not, but your perseverance made up for it. You knew things changed, but the both of you were too stubborn. Neither of you knew how to start the topic off, nor finish it.

"Thank you." He muttered, shuffling under the covers and propping his body up against a body pillow.

You bit back an uncontrollable grin as you spotted his hot pink snuggie that once belonged to Louise, but she gave it to Dan as a gift.

"I'm going to bring these bad boys back one day." Dan gestured towards the snuggie that wrapped around his figure loosely, smirking up at you jokingly.

His enlightenment took you by surprise, as your face lit up in amusement. You decided to return the playful banter, hoping it'll lead you somewhere.

"Oh I'm sure you will, you are one of the most underrated fashionistas I know, wearing that you'll make it on any magazine cover."

"I am exuberated to announce that because of this sudden inspiration, I am ready to kick start my snuggie collection. New features such as, 'Matte Black, But In a Sophisticated way', 'Doge Af', and 'Phil Ate My Wheaties' will all be in the soon to be released catalog."

"You'd be perfect for advertising." Your voice was filled with surprise and glee, cherishing this moment while it lasted.

"What can I say, my words come out smooth as butter." Dan attempted to mimic an American accent, which resulted the both of you to facepalm. Dan was prone to be a multitalented person, but in this case, well you won't give him a hard time, not today at least.

You grew comfortable enough to sit on the edge of his bed, feeling his eyes follow.

"Eat up." You nodded towards the gigantic stack of cloud-like pancakes, crossing your legs and watching him in anticipation.

Dan licked his chapped lips, slicing into them and bringing a forkful into his mouth.

As he was chewing, you began to slip into your subconscious yet again, thinking of how these next few weeks may not be so draining after all.

Before you became too involved in your complex mindset, you were astounded by the sound of gagging, and the pitter patter of the silver fork bouncing off the glass plate.

"Y/N, a 4 year old could make better pancakes than this shit, are you that incapable?" Dan looked at you as if you were stupid,  his dull skin tone blending back into his personality as your face twisted into disgust.

How could someone switch up so quickly was the first thought brewing of many, Dan has become so self centered and ungrateful over a course of a month you were done tolerating it.

"Are you that incapable of being a decent human being for one day of your life?" Your tone reached a new peak, your whole body trembling in anger. You had no idea what snapped into you, but all you knew was that you were ready to reveal your bottled thoughts.

Dan was clueless as of how to reciprocate, because he knew that you were winning this spat. So, being the careless soul he has become flipped the stack of pancakes onto the ground and cockily raised his eyebrows for your next move.

You took a second to process this dramatic act, not knowing whether to scream or break his other ankle. You closed your eyes for a second to keep your heart and breathing at a steady pace, clenching and unclenching your fists.

"What are you, mental? Clean this shit up." Dan demanded as if it was the obvious solution.

Your lips parted in search of what to say next, your eyebrows narrowing as you slowly began to rise from your previous position.

Without any trace of regret, words just began to unravel.

"Look I know that little Danny boy doesn't know how to take care of his precious ankle alone, but that does NOT give you the privilege to let everyone else drown with you in misery, maybe even more. I am not here to mend for you all of the time, mending and loving are two completely different things. It seems to me that you aren't even able to tell the difference anymore. So no, I am not going to "clean this shit up," you narcissistic bastard, how about you go fuck yourself and speak to me once you're mature enough to be the boy I fell in love with again. I don't know if I'm out of my god damned mind or not but this is not Dan Howell." Your eyes were nearly bulging out of your head as your heart began to thump rapidly. You have never stood up for yourself in this sort of situation, nearly any in general. You felt a huge weight lift off of your shoulders, as a new wave of guilt took it's place.

Although you wanted to admit to yourself that the harsh words were anything but true, you couldn't bring yourself to doing it.

Your love for Dan has finally flourished into something toxic.

Dan's chocolate brown eyes brimmed with tears, his jaw tight and his teeth latching onto the bottom of his now plump lips.

You were aware of your sudden boldness, but you weren't expecting things to take this sort of turn.

But lately with Dan, you had no idea what to expect.

"Get the hell out of here by tomorrow morning, Y/N." His lips were held in a firm line, staring blankly ahead of him.

Maybe you weren't who Dan thought you were either, after all.

-

this lowkey sucked for a comeback :))

BUT DONT FRET MY DEARS ITS ABOUT TO GET  REAL JUICY REAL FAST

lol you're all probably exhausted from all the drama but like i juST CANT HELP MYSELF DONT SUE ME