A/N; there's a part in phils new video where dan lIKE NUZZLES THE KOALAS EAR AND I DIE EVERYTIME I COULDNT FIND A GIF OF IT IVE LET YOU ALL DOWN

here's this one to make up for it tho #riphannah

"That fucking prick." PJ's voice was booming with hatred, his eyes blaring as he paced around the lounge angrily.

You knew inviting PJ over wasn't the ideal thing to do, but you owed him an apology and he was the only person besides Phil and Louise who you could actually talk to, and they were more than likely dealing with Dan right now. She already texted you once asking what was going on, but you chose to ignore it.

"I just don't understand why he's so upset over a hug, a hug for gods sake! Could he be any more inconsiderate?"

"Well we did sort of kiss." PJ pointed out, smiling sheepishly once you sent him a harsh glare.

"But it was before he even asked me out, he acts like I'm going to cheat on him or something!" You sneered, kicking the sofa and yelping once pain spread through your foot.

PJ muffled a laugh, clasping his hand over his mouth a second later.

"You're not being very supportive right now." You snapped, limping towards the sofa to sit down.

"S-Sorry okay, so let me get this straight he said all of those things to you because I was comforting you?" PJ had a puzzled expression on his face, slouching down in the seat beside you.

"Yeah." You croaked out, not wanting to say anything more. You were exhausted from ranting to him for nearly an hour now.

"Well it's not my fault the idiot deserted his own girlfriend at a red carpet, he should know better than that especially with all of the events that's happened within the few weeks, Marcus' trial is everywhere on social media obviously reporters are going to ask you about it. God, why are you with him Y/N? He acts he could give two shits about your feelings."

"You don't get i-"

"No I do get it, you're in love with him." He cut you off rudely, hanging his head in frustration.

You sat there quietly for a few moments, thinking about that quote Zoe told you about back in Florida.

You accept the love you think you deserve.

You weren't going to deny that you loved Dan, but after tonight you were starting to question yourself.

Were you in love with him, or were you in love with the thought of loving him?

Did Dan even care about you?

If he did, he wouldn't have actually left. You reminded yourself, stopping yourself from thinking any further and turned towards PJ.

"PJ?" Your whisper was almost inaudible, placing a hand on his shoulder.

He looked up into your eyes sadly, shivering from your touch.

"Do you think Dan loves me?" Your voice shook, already predicting what his answer would be.

"I should lie to you and say no, but that would be terrible of me and I'm not going to be that asshole who stops you from being with someone who makes you happy." PJ bit his lip before continuing,  "He's so insecure Y/N, as much as I despise the guy right now I've known him for years and we've gone into deep conversations about this. He's afraid to lose you to me, I can see it in his eyes and I can understand as of why I'm such a threat to him because I'm in love with you just as much as he is, maybe even more."

You sat there speechlessly, not knowing how to respond. You couldn't imagine how PJ must feel to be in the middle of the situation, let alone knowing that you couldn't feel the same for him.

"PJ I'm so sorry." You finally broke down, burying your face into your hands and sobbing. Why did things have to be so difficult? You constantly hurt everyone you cared about to the point where they probably want nothing to do with you.

"Look, the only thing I care about anymore is your happiness. If Dan is the person you love, then I have to suck it up and support you through every complication along the way including this one. You may not ever love me back, but I promise you that I will never leave your side." He grabbed ahold of your hand, smiling at you weakly.

You instantly threw your arms around him, hugging each other tightly. You were relieved that PJ respected your relationship and he wouldn't pull anything, things could finally go back to the way they were.

"I don't deserve such a good person like you, Peej," You sighed whilst pulling away from him, looking into his gorgeous green eyes once more.

"Oh be quiet." He chuckled softly, swiping his thumb over a stray tear that was falling down your cheek.

You continued chatting about how to sort things out with Dan and he tried giving you the best advice he could, which helped a lot. You were surprised he did in the first place, but you appreciated it more than anything.

"I have to go make a call real quick, will you be alright for a few minutes?" He looked between you and his phone as you nodded reassuringly, sending him a half smile. He returned the smile and rubbed your arm before speedily walking into the first room he saw, shutting the door behind him.

You were shocked at how supportive PJ was being through all of this, it was almost too good to be true.

Dan

After earning thousands of lectures between Louise and Phil, they finally left me alone to rot. I was so angry with myself for not staying with Y/N tonight to properly express my feelings, but I've been deprived from a relationship for so long it was hard adapting to. PJ doesn't make things any easier for me, the little bitch.

I wish I could tell Y/N about the drinking habits I have when I'm not around her and I wish I wasn't so paranoid all the time.

Most importantly, I wish I could tell her how small I felt compared to PJ. He had her right where he wanted her and could take her away from me whenever he pleased and I wouldn't be able to stop it because I was a selfish asshole who lashed out on her just because of my insecurities getting in the way.

I love her.

More than I could ever explain, and probably would never get the chance to after tonight.

I know I came off as a dick, but I was getting so frustrated with PJ. When I spotted her hugging him and not me, he just smirked at me mercilessly and kissed the top of her head. If we weren't in public I would be more than happy to wipe the disgusting smirk off of his face, but after what I did to Marcus I was too afraid of myself to ever do something like that again.

I especially wouldn't because she would take PJ's side and make me seem like even more of a monster.

I don't think I could hate someone as much as I did PJ, he was taking her away from me with such simplicity and I hated myself even more for not being able to speak my mind so I could attempt to put an end to it.

So there I was sat on my bedroom floor, blankly staring up at the wall and trying not to bring myself to cry. How could I have let myself say something so awful to her? I didn't mean it, but I knew I was losing the argument and she had many valid points, so I let my jealousy get the best of me yet again.

I just wish she knew I trusted her, it was PJ who I didn't trust.

After a few minutes passed I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth to get the bitter alcohol taste out of my mouth when my phone rang. I grudgingly picked it up, my voice hoarse when answering it.

"Hey mate, so I've been with Y/N for a few hours now, she's really upset." PJ sighed forcefully, my stomach already starting to churn at the thought of them together. Alone.

"Why are you doing this to me PJ, you know I love her." My phone shook in my hand, looking into the mirror and seeing bloodshot eyes.

"Oh well that's a shame, because she's quite a good fuck."

I felt my surroundings close in on me as my vision became blurry, the glass shattering in front of me. My cry was so painful that I could barely hear PJ's taunting laughter on the other line.