Trying to erase Dan from your memory was so much more problematic than you thought.

It was impossible.

Sure you were coping, but merely.

Louise and Phil didn't help either by trying to get you to talk to him, but you had no motivation for anything anymore. The procedure for the past week consisted of Louise forcing you to eat, which didn't work all of the time but was enough to keep you alive, and sobbing into your pillow before you went to bed. It was awful, but you've grown used to it.

You could barely do anything without it reminding you of him. You couldn't even say his name without breaking down completely.

Your appearance was a whole different story.

Everyone was worried about you.

According to a conversation you overheard with Phil and Lou, Dan wasn't doing too well himself. Before you became intrigued by the conversation, you absorbed yourself with music and that was how every night would go.

You wish you would have ran after him that night, but you were too late.

You broke him.

But he broke you just as much.

"Y/N? Please wake up or we're going to miss our flight." Louise shook you promptly for the 3rd time this morning.

"Can't I just stay here?" You moaned, shielding your eyes from the sudden sunlight emerging through the drapes.

"No you can't, I can't imagine what you're going through right now love and I promise I'll be there with you every step of the way, but this is your first year attending Playlist and your fans are depending on you, plus we're staying at a cozy little vacation house on the beach for another week right after Playlist, so you'll be able to catch up with everyone and get back on track. You can't grieve like this forever." Louise rubbed your arm, speaking in a hushed tone.

She was right, she always was. You just weren't mentally prepared to face him.

"H-He's not going to be there, correct?" You glanced at her suspiciously.

"Oh-Ha, that's a good one Y/N. N-No of course not silly!" Her voice was slightly pitched as she looked around the room uneasily, but you decided to trust her.

She wouldn't do that to you, right?

You continued to wear a scowl on your face, falling back onto your bed.

"Hey, you deserve to have some fun. You have so many friends who'll keep you company, so stop fretting about Dan and keep him off of that mind of yours. Think about sun bathing by the pool and drinking margaritas with your favorite cousin, and most importantly making memories. This is your vacation!" She cheered, jumping around and bringing you up with her.

You smiled at Louise's enthusiasm, taking her words into consideration. Maybe it was time to get your life back together and forget about Dan Howell after all.

You were currently at the airport munching on a bag of chips, laughing along to something Joe said. You naturally returned to yourself as you were joking around with everyone and laughing again, and you were relieved. You thought it was going to take awhile to adapt to everything again, but as long as you were distracted he didn't come to mind once.

The only downfall to everything was Marcus' presence. Apparently Alfie made amends with him and he's been trying to apologize to all of you since you've arrived at the airport. He soon became pesky so Louise went off on him and said you'd all forgive him if he'd shut up.

It was enough for him, but you all still secretly hated him with a passion.

After dealing with a hyper Louise and Zoe for roughly 9 hours, you finally arrived at Playlist. It was only your second time visiting the U.S, and Florida was astonishing to you. Being in a place you were unfamiliar with made you ecstatic. Everyone sat in the lobby whilst waiting to get checked in and you greeted everyone, happy to be united with YouTubers you've watched for so long or ones that you were good friends with.

"Bitch, did you really think you were going to walk past me without saying hi?" Tyler Oakley ran up to you, hugging you tightly. You squealed, rocking him back and forth and hugging him equally as tight. You always had a special bond with Tyler and knowing him you could sense he had a lot of stuff to tell you about. He was always up to date with drama, and he proved that once he asked how you were doing with the whole Dan situation.

Shit spreads like a wildfire around the YouTube community, my god.

The two of you caught up for awhile before Louise notified you that your room was ready and you both sped off, eager to see what it looked like. Louise nearly tripped over her feet due to her excitement, the two of you falling to the floor in fits of laughter.

You already knew this was going to be an eventful few weeks.

"So chum, what do you think?" Louise fell back onto her bed with her arms spread out, sighing happily.

You studied the room, smiling to yourself. It was simple, but had an amazing view and that was all that mattered to you.

"It's perfect." You leaped onto Louise, causing her to bellow loudly.

"Lou, we've only been here for 5 minutes and are already probably going to get a noise complaint." You laughed, rolling off of her.

"Well whoever does can piss off because we're on vacation!" She chirped, sticking her tongue out.

"Is that your excuse for everything now?"

"Yes, have fun listening to that become repetitive over the next two weeks, you're welcome." She winked, pulling out her vlog camera.

"You're vlogging by the way, no questions asked." She started waving the camera in your face to persuade you. You were never into the whole vlogging thing, your arm easily grew tired from holding the camera.

"I'll think about it, don't force me into anything." You warned, glaring at her playfully.

"Are you gonna come with me to Zoe and Alfie's room for a few drinks?" Louise puckered her lips after reapplying her lipstick, batting her eyelashes at you as if to beg you.

"Well when you beg, how can I say no?" You spoke flatly, lips firmly in a straight line.

"That's the spirit!" She yanked on your arm and dragged you down the hall to Zoe and Alfie's, knocking into a few people.

"Owe, Christ! Louise lets play a game called don't give Dan and Phil concussions." You heard the laugh that got you into this mess in the first place. That stupid, beautiful laugh.

No. No no no no no things were going so well.

Louise talked to the two as if you weren't even there until she became fully aware and turned to you, staring at you immensely.

You mentally face-palmed yourself at how obvious she was being, turning your head away in embarrassment.

"Well, I-uh-I've got to go I'll talk to you later." Dan spoke mindlessly before walking off, his hand subtly brushing against yours.

Phil and Louise looked at each other with smirks as they watched the scene unfold, while you sat in shock.

"I'm gonna go talk to him. Y/N I'm talking to you later alright?" Phil's deep blue eyes bored into yours in concern as you nodded stiffly.

There was absolutely no way to escape him.

A/N: it's quarter to 5 in the morning and i know im not going to get any sleep so i just thought id write this little filler but just warning you now i have so many crazy things planned for the upcoming chapters so PREPARE YOURSELVES