Toraf checks his pace, allowing Rayna to close some of the distance he’d put between them since leaving Galen and Emma standing on the beach. This is a habit of his, he realizes, to slow down for her so she can catch up. She’s always been insecure about being slow, especially since her twin brother Galen is so fast.

Now is not the time to nurture her, idiot. You just kissed Emma. No amount of nurturing can save you from Rayna’s wrath.

When he senses that she’s within in visual range, he launches forward again—partly because he wants her to see him swim away from her, but mostly because he’s not ready to talk about what happened yet. His fin swirls a nearby group of jellyfish into a whirpool. Normally this would be a treat for him, to scatter the jelly fish in different directions. Sometimes they even—

Concentrate, half wit! She’s getting closer!

What will he say? Where should he start?

What have I done?

He shakes his head. I had to do it. The twins needed to be shaken up. Taught a lesson. It was the most efficient way to get through to both of them.

Well, idiot, you’ve efficiently earned yourself a busted lip when Rayna catches up to you. Galen already pounded your guts into a mess of bruises. Now you want to attract sharks with fresh blood?

Toraf scowls. No, she won’t bust my lip this time. I saw her face. She’s heartbroken.         

Which is more than he’d hoped for. And worse than he’d intended. He wanted to startle her to her senses. To make her jealous. Not to shred her heart to pieces.  In retrospect, he admits it probably wasn’t the greatest idea. Galen’s fist didn’t exactly tickle. Plus, Emma tried to squirm out of his grasp the whole time—awkward.

Stop acting like a fingerling. Finish what you started. End. It.          

Even now, torn and under attack by his emotions, it doesn’t feel right to swim away from Rayna. Not when all he wants to do is fold her up in his arms and cuddle her senseless.  But cuddling her senseless hasn’t gotten him anywhere. Sure, kissing Emma was drastic, and from Galen’s reaction, possibly life-threatening. But if this is the only way to get through to Rayna, Toraf refuses to regret it. He needs her to see that they’re meant to be together.

So, it’s painfully counterintuitive when he speeds up again. He can just imagine what Rayna’s face looks like as she watches his the force of his wake swoosh the seaweed and disburse schools of minnows as he leaves her behind—again.

He’s not, however, far enough away yet to miss her corresponding growl. It’s a promise of retribution.

Toraf finally reaches the edge of the big shelf where the bottom of the ocean inevitably drops off and the deep water begins. His eyes adjust to the darkness ahead. There are no fish around. No crabs. Not even a hint of creel floating in the current.

He sends out what his mentor Yudor calls a thick ripple. Only Trackers can do it. And only Toraf has the ability to send one this big. It leaves him like an invisible net gliding through the water, capturing the pulse of other Syrena in the area and reporting it back to him. Only Rayna is close. 

Which means their impending confrontation—and his possible impending busted lip— will be a private affair.

His stomach feels like a ball of string unraveling, loosening, tightening, unknotting. He’s going to have to explain himself. And he’s going to have to do it without losing the upper hand—and more importantly, without losing Rayna. He’s not sure he’s ever successfully explained himself before. Usually he talks himself into more trouble. And he can count on no fingers how many times he’s won a confrontation with Rayna.

This will be different. It has to be. You kissed Emma. You. Kissed. Emma.

“Toraf,” Rayna says, breathless. “Didn’t you hear me calling you?” There is no anger in her voice. Which makes Toraf want to curl into a ball. Something bad is about to happen.

“Of course I heard you. You’ve scared away every fish in the drop off.” You’re getting a busted lip you’re getting a busted lip you’re getting a busted lip….

She stiffens by his side. He fights the urge to comfort her. And the urge to protect his face. But this has to get worse before it gets better. He knows it.

She seems to sense this, too. “We should talk about this.” Still, her voice is so gentle, so innocent.

Which is very very scary. “About what?”

Her hand slides onto his forearm and squeezes. “About her.”

Toraf shrugs off the contact and faces her. Hopefully she can’t hear his heart beating against his chest. Especially when he says, “I think you’ve got things confused. This isn’t about her.”

He sees the exact moment her temper inflates like a raft. Fury dances in her eyes, making them a lighter violet. She crosses her arms.

Busted lip busted lip busted lip! Does his panic show up on his face?

“It is about her. It’s about you kissing her.”

“Me kissing her is none of your business anymore.” Whoa. Where did that come from? Bloodied lip is one thing, death is quite another.

“I’m your mate. Everything you do is my business, Toraf.”

Toraf loves the sound of that. It’s the first time Rayna has ever accepted it out loud, the first time she’s claimed him as her mate. He wants to hear it again, but he’s guessing she won’t repeat herself. That would be too generous. Especially under the circumstances.

Still, it’s too early in this game to melt at mere words—words she can twist later at her convenience. He crosses his arms, mimicking her haughty poise. She hates to be mocked—Galen does it all the time because he knows it’s the best way to inject ferocity into her thick skin. And Rayna’s ferocity is always bound to entertain.

Except right now, Toraf doesn’t want entertainment. He wants Rayna. Not getting injured would be nice too, but mostly he needs for Rayna to want him the way he wants her. He didn’t even realize how desperately he needs this until just now.

“You’re singing a different song than when you left, princess,” he says.  “When you and your fool of a brother took off, you were of a mind to unseal us. What changed?” He’s just a bit proud of himself that his voice didn’t crack. He wonders how long his courage will last.

Especially since he can see the poison lingering on the tip of her tongue, a cache of sharp words ready to stab him. But to his amazement, the slashing never starts. In fact, her face softens. He has to work very hard not to let his jaw drop open. He’s never seen her rein in her temper like that. He wasn’t aware she was even capable of it. And he certainly doesn’t trust it.

“I knew this was coming,” she says, turning away from him. “And I know I deserve it.” What is happening here? Who is this person who looks and talks like Rayna? Then again, she must be thinking the same thing about me.

She whips around, startling him. “But why her?” Her eyes look so big. So vulnerable. Is she playing a game? Of course she is. But what are the rules? Are there rules? He wants to turn and swim far far away from here.

Toraf swallows. It’s the only thing he can do, what with her hypnotizing glare and all. Plus, he doesn’t want to say anything, not when his words may change where this conversation is heading. He doesn’t trust himself not to taunt her, not to ask leading questions. Not get a broken nose. He wants her to tell him how she feels, all on her own.

Without his help.

Is that so much to ask?

Probably.

When he doesn’t respond, she swims forward, brushing her hand along his cheek. His high hopes float somewhere in between them, waiting for her to continue with...Well, with whatever it is she’s doing.

Finally, she sighs. “Emma has everything already,” she says. “She has the human world at her fingertips. My brother chasing her imaginary fin. And now you kissing her lips. What makes her so special? What does she have that I don’t?”

Aside from what he would call ‘disgustingly wrinkly skin’, Toraf can’t answer that. And he shouldn’t.  Rayna is coaxing herself out, letting down her guard, and he should let her. He should encourage her. It’s just that her touch is causing his fin to twitch…

Her eyes fall to his belly. His reflex is all vanity, to suck in his gut or puff up his chest—or both.  But she would notice if he did it now. She would notice, and she would prey on it. Oh, would she have fun with that.

Instead, she traces a finger over the muscles of his abdomen. Is that admiration in her eyes? I hate this game!

“Did Galen hurt you?” she whispers.  “He was hitting pretty hard.”

Indeed he was. In fact, Toraf was surprised just how provoked Galen had become over a simple kiss. But that’s Galen’s problem. Right now, Toraf’s only goal is not to talk. Words are his enemy. Words get twisted. Explanations change conversations. “I’m fine.”

She drops her hand. “Toraf. Talk to me. You can’t hold out forever.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  

“You’re going to tell me what just happened. And then you’re going to explain to me why I shouldn’t take a lionfish spike to your head.”

He throws his hands up. “I would, but talking to you is exhausting. It doesn’t get me anything but a swollen eye or a missing tooth or a lionfish spike. I get it. You don’t want to be mated to me. So go unseal us.” Well, he didn’t mean to say that much, but at least he ended on a negative note, right? Instead of what he was really thinking; that the idea was laughable, her swimming around the expanse of the ocean without him trailing behind her like a sucker fish. Triton’s beard, but she needs him.

He just wishes she would get around to realizing it. And then, of course, saying it out loud would be nice. And meaning it, even better.

So he must be doing the right thing by swimming away from her now. Because after all, she keeps following him around like a sucker fish. A little part of him appreciates the change of pace. Her chasing him. Who would have thought? At the very least, her attentiveness must be a good sign, right? Right?

Or she might be trying to find a good place for a lionfish spike.         

With Rayna, anything goes. She’s as unpredictable as a ground trembler. It’s one of the things he loves about her. Not when it hurts, of course, but just the fact that she can—and does—change course without notice. There’s never getting bored with Rayna.

Still, still, he’s not expecting what she does next.

Before he can even flinch, she grabs his arm and spins him to face her. The waft of the sudden movement doesn’t catch up with them before her lips press into his. Her touch roams everywhere, places it had never been, and certainly not ever been in a pleasant way like this. Hands that used to form a fist now caress his chest, down the length of him, tracing a line of steam to the place where his skin turns to fin.

She ropes her arms around his neck and somehow his traitorous arms have welcomed her, pulling her closer so that his lips can better devour her. He has fantasized about this moment so many times, but his expectations never could have prepared him for this. For her appetite, her thoroughness. It’s almost like she’s making a point. And then he realizes. She is making a point. She’s trying remove all the traces of Emma left on his lips, and replace those traces with herself.

She still doesn’t understand the real issue between them. The issue that existed before he kissed Emma.

And that is why he pulls away. It’s something he never thought he could do. And by the look on her face, neither did Rayna. Her eyes are full of questions.

Toraf has some of his own. “Why did you do that?” He sounds gruffer than he’d intended. He can’t help it. His frustration roils in his stomach, threatening to swallow him from the inside out. Not to mention the inconvenient desire racing through his veins. Toraf decides kissing Rayna is a major life event.

She drifts slightly back. “Are you serious?”

He pinches the bridge of his nose. “Rayna. This isn’t what I want.”

She sucks in a big breath. Then another. “What are you saying? That…That you don’t want me?”

“No! Yes. I mean, I want you. More than you know. But not like this. Not when it’s about her.”

“I don’t understand.”

“What I’m trying to say is, I didn’t kiss Emma.”

“Um. You did, actually. I saw you do it. Watched the whole time, in fact.”

He waves his hand in dismissal. “That wasn’t a kiss. Not a real one.” Taking his hand in hers, he pulls her closer. “What we just did, that was a real kiss. Or at least, I thought it was. Until I realized…” He runs his thumb over her fingers, savoring how soft they feel when they’re not twisting a bruise onto his skin. He wants that softness again. And again and again. Which is why this is going to be hard to say. “Until I realized that you’re just competing against Emma. That it’s about her, like you said. Not about us. I don’t want that.”

She opens her mouth to protest, but they both know her reaction is too immediate, too defensive to be authentic. Disappointment swirls through him. Will she shut herself off? Will she hide her true feelings yet again?

No. He won’t let her. “Rayna.”

But she reclaims her hand and puts it squarely over his mouth. “No. You didn’t want to talk, remember? So now you’re just going to be quiet and listen for once in your life.”

He can do that. He would love to do that. At least, he thinks he would…

When she’s satisfied that he won’t offer further commentary, she nods. “Look. I know you think I’m jealous of Emma.”

Think? She said as much herself! He raises a brow.

She huffs, fidgeting with the strings holding her pink bikini top around her neck. “Okay, fine. I am jealous of Emma. What’s not to be jealous about? She gets to live on land like a human, but she can come and go in our world when she wants. And then there’s Galen.” She rolls her eyes. “Can he be more obvious about his infatuation with her? I’m his sister and he’s never paid that kind of attention to me. Have you seen the way he looks at her? Is she really that interesting?”

Have you seen the way I look at you? he wants to yell.

Besides, if Galen paid the kind of attention to Rayna as he did Emma, then they’d have a serious problem. If Rayna hasn’t figured out by now that Galen feels the pull for Emma, who is Toraf to tell her? And why is this an issue? This has nothing to do with us. 

Not that he doesn’t sympathize with Rayna; he does. The twins have always been close. It seems that ever since Emma came stumbling in, Galen has been more reserved with both his time and his feelings. It was bound to happen eventually.

And Toraf couldn’t care less. This is exactly what he didn’t want this exchange to be about. It feels like his patience is hemorrhaging into the current around them.

Rayna notices. She appears to adjust what she’s going to say. “So, I am jealous of Emma. But it’s not the reason I kissed you.”

Triton’s trident, she wields anticipation like a weapon!  “Rayna—”

“I love you,” she blurts. She seems as surprised as he feels.

“What?” I love you. I love you. The words lace through him, but he doesn’t dare feel them. Not yet.

She runs a hand through her short adorable hair, a habit she shares with her brother. “Oh, come on. You heard me. I love you, Toraf. I’ve loved you forever, as long as I can remember. When you kissed Emma, I thought I was going to die. Right there on the beach. Dead. The thing is, it doesn’t matter who you kissed. Yes, I’m jealous of her, blah blah blah. But for this one thing, it doesn’t matter that it was Emma. It could have been anyone. All that matters is that it wasn’t me you were kissing.”

And just like that, she stole his breath. His speech. His heart—well, she’d relieved him of that a long time ago. I’ve loved you forever. As long as I can remember.

Is this really happening? “But you said you wanted to unseal us. That you never wanted to be mated. That I took your freedom.” She said a lot of other things too, something about him being as ugly as a rockfish. Or was it an urchin? He couldn’t remember, but he’d rather not anyway.

She thinks for a moment, then nods. “But don’t you see? You did take my freedom. If you would have waited, I would have come to you. I knew I had to mate eventually, and I always wanted it to be you. But I wasn’t ready yet. You shouldn’t have done what you did.” She eases away from him, grimacing.

He knows the expression all too well. She’s about to flee. To swim away, leaving him with a confession, a stolen kiss, and a scolding. To end the conversation by leaving it wide open, unresolved. The way she always does.

“Rayna,” he says softly. “If you love me, if you wanted to mate with me, then what is the problem? Help me understand.”

She slips further back. “I shouldn’t have to help you understand.”

“Rayna—”

“You never asked!” she blurts. “You never asked, you just did it. You sealed us and I wasn’t even there. You stole my dreams from me, and maybe they were the silly dreams of a lovesick fingerling. But I always thought you do it the right way. That you would take me somewhere special. Like a new shipwreck you’d secretly found, or an island you thought I might like. You’d be nothing but serious, and you’d tell me how much you loved me and ask me to be your mate. But you didn’t. You went straight to my brother when I wasn’t even there! And then I find out because I overhear you telling my brother about it. When were you going to tell me?” At this, she covers her mouth with both hands but she’s too late to stifle the achingly real sob that escapes between her fingers.

He swims toward her but she backs away. “Rayna, please—”

She holds up a hand. “No. That’s not all. You wanted me to talk. So let me talk.” She takes several more breaths, clutching her side as if she’s in pain. Tiny lacerations start to rip a painful network on Toraf’s heart. I’ve been so stupid.

“As if that weren’t bad enough, Toraf, you never apologize. I waited and waited for you to come to me and tell you how sorry you were for taking me as a mate without asking. But not once did you say you were sorry.  No matter how many hints I gave you, no matter how upset I was. You laughed it off. You laughed it off right up until you decided to pull Emma into your arms and kiss her. Not me. Her. Then, then, you let me chase you half across the ocean, as if I had done something wrong—”

“Oh, Rayna. My princess. I’m so sorry.” Each time he starts for her, she backs away again. “I’m so stupid, princess. Please. Listen to me.” But he can tell by the way her lip quivers, by the way she squares her shoulders, that this conversation ended long ago.

And with it, possibly their last chance to reconcile. “Rayna, there are so many things I need to tell you. I didn’t steal your freedom. I gave it back to you. Please let me explain.”

“Stay away from me, Toraf,” she says. “Stay away from me for now on.”

And then she’s gone.

---

Author's note: I hope you are enjoying reading Hard to Get! If you love these characters, you'll love the characters in my upcoming novel, Joyride, just as much! Start reading it on Wattpad now at wattpad.com/story/31229577-joyride and pre-order your copy today at macteenbooks.com/joyride.