Trees danced through the shadow of my window projected onto my wall. The shapes appeared human like, resembling a man's face that was going forward and backwards. I studied the figure longer, admiring the stunning contrast of the orange light peering behind the leaves and the dark figures.

The shadow man reminded me of Michael. I tried not to think of him, but at hours of the night like this it was hard. Michael was my first love, my first real relationship, my first everything. He was my everything. Or he used to be.

I missed him. I was unsure if it was the mood the rain and shadows were setting or if my heart genuinely ached for him.

I shifted uncomfortably in my bed, trying to escape the feeling of Michael wrapping his arms around me like he used to. It felt like a ghost was in here trying to mimic him at the expense of my emotions.

Michael and I broke up almost a year ago. It'll be 11 months in a few weeks. I still cared so much about him. I wondered what he was up to time to time, but I only knew as much as he posted on social media. It wasn't much. I felt comfort in knowing he wasn't dating anyone yet. I don't think still have true genuine love for him anymore, but I still cared and still missed him of course. Time forced us to move on.

We broke up from both of us dealing with difficult circumstances in our life. School, work, family life, taking care of ourselves. It was hard. We were young, so young, and we shouldn't force each other to be unhappy because we didn't know how to deal with our emotions and life situations. All we did by the end was argue, and cry, and wish we could change the other person and get back to how we used to be at the beginning of our two and a half year long relationship.

I stared at my closet door, my thoughts being swarmed by Michael. His soft, pale skin that had a tattoo here and there. I touched my face in remembrance of his hair tickling my cheeks as he'd cuddle up to me in this same bed. Flashbacks flooded in of the nights we'd spend at home just laying in bed and watching movies.

I sat up, looking around at the hills my sheets made. It almost looked like someone else legs were curled around mine. I leaned over to my bed side table and turned on my lamp. The dim yellow light brightened up my room slightly. I had a couples piles of clothes in one corner I desperately needed to put away and in the other corner was my bulletin board.

I got out of bed and wrapped my arms around my cold body. I stood in front of my board and stared at the contents. Concert tickets, a photo of me and my mom, letters from Michael, another photo of me and Michael at a music festival kissing.

I felt on fire. I ripped the photos and letters down, angrily shoving them into my top drawer in my dresser. I didn't even realize I was crying until I saw a water droplet smudging the ink on the college ruled paper. I looked up and into the mirror on my dresser. A few tears made their way down my cheek and fell from my chin.

It made you feel vulnerable and uncomfortable watching yourself cry.

-

Ania and I were sitting outside of our favorite restaurant. It was Saturday morning, she had a big night planned ahead, and me, well, I had this mimosa in my hand. It was a hole in the wall brick building with a stunning patio outside. Globe lights strung around the vintage metal fence framing that was enclosing the patio seats.

Our food was placed in front of us, stopping our conversation about Ania and her date. We thanked the waiter and looked back at each other.

"So," Ania unfolded her red and white checkered napkin and laid it smoothly on her lap. "You were up last night."

I nodded, thinking about the remnants of Michael and I's relationship that I slammed into a small drawer. I shoved a fork full of food in my mouth to avoid talking.

"Did it have anything to do with you know who?" She asked calmly. She knew I struggled getting over the relationship. She only wanted to help.

I nodded again, taking the time to swallow my food. Hopefully, I would begin choking and wouldn't have to talk about Michael anymore.

Ania took a sip of her orange juice that was blended with champagne. She set it down and opened her purse beside her. She nonchalantly unwrapped the metal foil from a mini bottle of champagne.

My eyes widened, peering around to see if anyone was around us. "Ania!" I quietly said, watching her secretly top off her orange juice.

She shrugged. "They never make them right."

I shook my head at her, taking a big gulp of mine. I needed it at that moment. I peered around the quiet street. It would be filled to the brim with people in a couple hours. There was shops and restaurants galore on this block. The only person in sight was a man walking on our side of the street from a distance away.

I squinted my eyes at the tall man dressed in all black. As he walked closer I could make out new characteristics of him. Broad shoulders, slim, overwhelmingly tall. Blonde, neat facial hair.

I choked on my juice carefully placing it back down on the table.

"Are you okay?" Ania asked in worry, also through a mouth full of food.

I pushed my Ray Bans from the top of my head to over my eyes. I used my middle finger to catch the drop of orange juice on my bottom lip.

"Don't look now, but one of my new coworkers is about to walk by," I frantically said. And of course, Ania swiftly turned around. "I said don't look!" I angrily said through my teeth.

I could make out every feature on his face. The angled jaw and perfectly curved nose. His curly blonde hair he typical kept neat and tucked back was messy and soft this morning. This humidity made it frizz just a little. He was just about to pass us and I couldn't keep my eyes off him.

Ania stared at me, unable to close her big mouth. "He's hot." She loudly said, fanning herself with her free hand. The other sipped from her glass.

I kicked her underneath the table, causing our plates and silverware to rattle. Luke looked up at our table as he passed, then back down at his phone. My heart sped up in fear he'd recognize me. That's when he looked up at me.

He stopped, a smirk slowly making it's appearance. "Mabel, hi."

I forced a kind smile onto my face. "Hi, Luke. It's so funny running into you here." I was over the top on my niceness because I was trying to suppress the feeling of wanting to punch Ania.

"Yeah, I just got off a run." Luke leaned onto the metal railing separating us. His biceps flexed and his face was still a little damp from his run. Ania was right, he was very hot.

Luke looked over to Ania, to her mini bottle of champagne she didn't put away, and then back to Ania. "I'm Luke. I just started with Mabel and her team."

"It's really nice to meet you, I'm Ania," she replied eyeing him up and down as he looked back at me. She looked at me with her jaw dropped, watching to both of us just to make sure he couldn't catch her.

"It seems I'm interrupting some fun here," Luke responded, standing back up from the railing. he peered down at me, watching me deeply. "I'll see you Monday?" He asked, flashing a smile at me.

I nodded once again, "Yeah, Monday."

Luke turned to Ania, extending a hand. "It was nice to meet you, Ania. Take care." She shook it gently, practically melting into him.

He left after a small wave and kind words of goodbye. Once he was out of sight, Ania broke our silence.

"Yeah, he's a sociopath." She stared at me with wide eyes as she sipped her drink.

I pushed my hair back with sunglasses, and furrowed my eyebrows at her. "What the hell are you talking about?"

She sat up straight in her chair, "Well, he very obviously knows how to charm people. No one acts like that and does it so well other than people who know how to toy and con other people into making them feel certain ways."

I glared at her, "That's a very broad statement. And that's one trait out of a dozen."

"And you work with that guy?" She asked

I shrugged, thinking about working with Luke just for a few weeks now. "Yeah, he's actually super helpful and nice."

"Or maybe he's manipulating you to be that way." Ania pondered. I could tell her bottomless mimosas were starting to get to her.

"Shut up," I quickly responded. "Luke seems like a great, normal guy."

Ania paused, staring out into the street watching the cars and bikes pass. We met eyes, hers full of mischief. "Then date him and get back to me if he has a few screws loose."

"What? No." I respond. "Luke wouldn't like me anyways, he's him and good looking and glistens after a run and I'm like the human embodiment of when you open a new bag of chips and it's all air."

"That's what they all say." Asia responded. I started at her stupidly.

"Thats not what they all say." I retorted.

The thought of dating anyone was weird, let alone my coworker. Let alone Luke. He was way out of my league. I didn't even know anything about him either besides he lived right in town and had a dog.

"You're going to come back to me in a month and tell me you guys slept together or you're going on a date." Ania laughed. I just rolled my eyes.

Never in a million years would me and Luke be together.

-

WHEW whipped up this chapter and am pretty happy with it

tag urself I'm ania

plz vote and comment if u enjoyed! my favorite pass time is reading ur comments ilysm