The door proved impossible to open alone.

No matter how Leah looked at it, it required two Radiants to Light separate crystals at the same time. There was no timer like there had been for the last one, which meant she had to, rather reluctantly, leave it for now.

That said, she had her work cut out for her trying to perform or at least figure out the ritual.

It didn't have a description of the end result aside from she would have pulled 'Life from Light'. She had a feeling it was going to look like the glowing orb of Light that showed up in several of the murals. What it was for was another matter all together. The symbols didn't bother explaining that part.

The wording itself was weirdly poetic. It flowed beautifully, but it was cryptic and almost impossible to follow. It spoke of reaching into her heart to bring forth the Life inside the Light nestled in the crystal. After taking it metaphorically for several minutes and getting nowhere, she decided to take it literally and soon found that, especially in the Spire's presence, she could almost sense two different energies in her heart.

The majority was unmistakably Light. The other was something she'd grown accustomed to over her years but had never actually realised was there. It was strange and silky and slipped through her fingers unless she clung to it with her thoughts. It hummed with power, a power that made her Light ripple and swirl.

The ritual wanted her to pull it out of her heart, to coalesce it and give it a shell of Light of its own, but Leah couldn't bring herself to do it. She felt the elastic string pull taut as she tugged at the energy, and every time she thought she'd steeled herself to rip it free, a wave of fear would corrode her nerve and the energy would sink back into her Light.

That didn't stop her from trying. Over and over and over again she tugged and pulled and slipped, frustration building with every failed attempt as her pride took one battering after another.

First being placed on the expedition team. Then Kieran's dismissal of her--but she'd proved him wrong. Her inability to decipher the symbols beforehand, her reliance on Shade, Illiya saving her life and daylight save her, why was she so helpless? Why couldn't she defend herself? Why had she needed help at any point before this? Was she that incapable?

No. She wasn't. She had her research--that was what she could offer. No one else seemed capable of researching the way she did. Hadn't her drawings and attention to details been complimented over and over in a place that prided itself on its academics and learning?

Another failed attempt saw Leah crystalise several thumb-sized shards of Light and fling them at the walls. She made a vow as she watched them shatter and dance across the floor. She was going to learn to be the one who other people relied on. She was going to be more than her research. She wasn't going to be that helpless kid in the corner any longer.

She prepared for another attempt at the ritual before a yawn cut it off.

It was then that how long she'd actually been down here sank in, and, reluctant, she forced herself to pack up her things and head back up to the surface. Tomorrow, she told herself. Maybe the missing piece to the ritual was inside that room. If she could get it open, then maybe, just maybe, she'd find the answers she was looking for.

First, she just had to find someone she could trust.

*+*+*+*

With the next morning off again, Leah spent her time trying to find Kieran and apologise.

She failed.

After nearly an hour, becoming increasingly sure he was avoiding her, Leah went to the training room alone and, painfully, started going through Kieran's usual muscle-murdering routine that started with five laps around the room. She critiqued herself, hearing his voice in her ears correcting the same mistakes over and over, even going so far as to perform the push-ups when she caught herself making the same one twice.

She was getting up from her third lot of pushups on her fifth lap when she heard footsteps behind her, catching up and matching her stride. Hope fluttered in her chest as she glanced back, half hoping, half dreading to see Kieran's dark blue-tipped hair.

Instead, she saw Sef's teal hair, his customary grin cementing his features in place.

"Saw you training," he said. "Thought you might want a buddy."

Leah shrugged. Why not? "Buddies are always good."

"Sweet," said Sef. "How many laps you on?"

"Five."

"Damn. I'll have to run my next four extra fast to catch up."

Leah kept her ragged breaths as even as she could. Push yourself. That's what Kieran would have told her. "I'll run the next three with you but I make no promises about the fourth. I may be dead by that point."

"I'll take it," said Sef.

By her third extra lap, Leah wasn't sure how much of her legs weren't liquid inside her skin, but somehow, she managed. Stopping was the hard part. She lost her balance and stumbled into Sef, who caught her arm and steadied her.

"Geez, Leah, if you wanted to hold hands while we ran all you had to do was ask."

Leah poked her tongue out. "You have one more lap, mister. Keep those knees in line or you'll be doing fifty pushups when you get back to make up the the lollygagging!"

Sef held up his hands in surrender and started jogging backwards. "Yes Ma'am!"

After Sef's final lap, they stretched and ran through the obstacle course once before deciding on sparring. Sticks in hand, they lunged at eachother, correcting faults and learning the way the other moved. Sef wasn't as fast or as unpredictable as Kieran, but there was an elegance to his strikes that was almost mesmerising. His attacks flowed one into the next, twisting and twirling with a single, seamless motion.

By the time they decided on a break, they were both sporting soon-to-be bruises and sweating.

"Geez," said Sef. "You've had, what, two training sessions with Kieran? Your basics are already downpat. That's pretty impressive."

"Yea, well, I had the option of learn fast or get hit a whole lot," said Leah. She sighed. "Sef, can I ask you something?"

"Sure. I don't know if I'll have the answers, but I can try."

Leah let the question form for a few moments before she voiced it. "Why doesn't Kieran... Why does he have a thing against purebloods?"

Sef tapped his stick on the ground, watching the dust fly around. "From what I've heard, Kieran used to have a friend who he joined the League with. I don't remember her name, but she was on the expedition team with him. The team was in some ruins when part of it collapsed, and his friend was trapped on the other side with some others. One was a pureblood, and they Shattered. His friend and the other trapped Radiant managed to kill it, but when the League finally got them out, they were Lightless."

Leah knew where this was going. "The purebloods--the research team took his friend and locked her up, didn't they?"

"Yea," said Sef. "He'd been talking to her through the rubble, too. He said he knew her too well, that she wasn't any different whether she was Radiant or Lightless. Her body, or whatever was left of it as a Lightless didn't last long at the research lab. Her body gave out fairly quickly. I don't think Kieran's ever forgiven Emrys for that."

"I guess you can see why," murmured Leah.

Sef rubbed the nape of his neck. "I guess the parasite has access to the person's memory or something. Maybe the integration is pretty slow or something when it turns them Lightless so the Radiant is conscious for a little while after losing their Light. I've read on the change the research team's documented, the point where the parasite truly takes over the Lightless's mind. Apparently they just seem... dead."

Leah's mouth was moving before she could think about what she was saying. "You would too if you were locked in a cell waiting to die."

Sef raised an eyebrow. "You think they're not under the parasite's control?"

Leah went with the safer option of shrugging. "I think there's more to the parasite thing than we're aware of. A few things about the way it operates doesn't make sense, and it's been bugging me. I'll explain it later if you want."

"I think I'd be interested to hear that," said Sef. "Is this why you've seemed a little... stressed out recently?"

Leah laughed. "Well, I did have someone try to kill me, but I suppose too much thinking is part of it, yes."

"Oh, Light, Leah--I'm sorry," said Sef. "I completely forgot about... I look like a jerk now, don't I?"

She gave him a small smile. "You're fine."

"Okay," said Sef, breathing a small sigh of relief. "But seriously. If there's anything you ever need to talk about, I'm always available for listening, okay? Whether it's stress or work or the questionable state of this morning's lunch options, I'm always around. And I'm glad you're okay."

"Thank you, Sef," said Leah, and she meant it wholeheartedly.

*+*+*+*

Leah still hadn't seen any sign of Shade by the time she arrived for the afternoon Lightless recording session.

Illiya caught her attention as they retrieved their equipment. "Hey, Leah! Did you hear?"

Tired from lack of sleep and training with Sef, Leah couldn't muster much enthusiasm. "About what?"

"Emrys' team went over the notes from the previous sessions," said Illiya. "I heard one of them talking, and apparently you've managed to get through a lot of the Lightless and still kept up the detail. Emrys is really impressed from the sounds of it. Most newbies are too intimidated by the Lightless to really get anything out of them."

"Oh," said Leah. "I'm just doing my job."

Illiya laughed. "I'm almost glad Emrys won't let you on the research team. I'm pretty sure you'd outshine us all in the first few days and we'd be out of a job!"

She said it jokingly, but it struck a nerve with Leah. She turned around and started walking. "Good thing for you my blood isn't pure then, isn't it?"

"Leah!" Illiya caught up, touching her shoulder. Leah shrugged it off, something that seemed to surprise Illiya. "I'm sorry, I was kidding. Bad joke, I promise. I'd love to work with you, really. You seem to notice things that most people miss until they're pointed out."

Leah hugged her notebook closer as they walked into the holding cells. "Still not good enough for the cure team though."

Illiya's touch was gentle, and this time, Leah let it linger. "I'm sorry, Leah, I really am. I don't think it's fair either. I'll talk to Asriel about it, but I can't really promise much. Would you like to go over my results and things with me tonight, maybe? We can come up with experiments or tests, I'll bring you back the results and we'll look at the data together?"

Leah saw it for the peace offering it was. "Maybe, but not tonight. I have things to do." Like that damned door. She still had to find another Radiant. Sef seemed like the best choice, but her heart kept going back to Kieran. Maybe she could repair what had been between them with it. She just had to find him first. "Later, though?"

Illiya smiled. "Sure. We can't start back up again until after the Lightless are all documented and prepared anyway, so we have time. I'll see you later!"

Illiya disappeared into her corridor, and heavy steps carried Leah into hers.

She picked up where the person from the morning session had left off. Resisting the guilty urge to look over her shoulder for the patrolling guard was almost impossible as she let herself into the first cell and began the process. Name? Age? Location? Blood? The Lightless--the people--she talked to became nothing more than data on the page, a shell of the Radiant they'd once been. That they'd lost with their hope.

By her third Lightless of the day, Leah couldn't look into the face of the person in the cell. What right did she have to participate in this? She opened her notebook and jotted down the basic physical features and asked,"Name?"

The woman sighed. "Gale."

A memory sparked. Leah looked up. "Gale?"

The woman rolled her eyes. "Yes. Gale. Would you like me to spell it?"

"No, no," said Leah, flipping back through her notebook. It'd started with P... where was--there it was! "Do you have a daughter called Pirra?"

Something in Gale's eyes flashed. "What's it to you?"

Leah glanced at the guard. He was at the other end. "I recorded her before," she said, quickly showing Gale the page. "She wanted me to tell you that she's all right. She didn't seem hurt, but she was scared."

Gale's fingers gripped the notebook like she could see her daughter in its pages. Her mouth opened and her breathing paused as she searched for the words, her eyes roving the pages like she couldn't bear to miss a single detail.

"I knew I shouldn't have gone back, but I had to. I couldn't leave him there after he cut away the crystalite." The guard was turning back. If he saw a Lightless with Leah's notebook, this wasn't going to end well. Leah tried to tug it away, but Gale's fingers held firm. "But I thought we could all get out. All four of us. I didn't know the Slayers were going to show up." Gale's lips tweaked into a smirk. "At least it drove them nuts after they couldn't find him."

Leah tried again. "I need the notebook back before the guard sees it."

Gale didn't seem to hear her. Her focus was locked on Leah's face, oblivious to the rest of the world. "You have to find him. Find the Lightless that used Light to cut the crystalite. He got out with some chunk of crystal in his pouch. He said he wouldn't give up on us. That he'd find a way. Find him!"

"A Lightless that can use Light?" said Leah, wondering if being separated from her daughter had hit her sanity a little harder than most. "They can't--"

"They can!" hissed Gale. "Not all of us are strong enough, but some--"

That was it. The guard was close enough to see Leah trying to get her notebook back from a Lightless with a frenzied look. They were running, Hilt bladed and raised.

"Step back!" commanded the guard, throwing open the door.

When Leah didn't let go, something tweaked in Gale's face. She shoved Leah backwards, away from the wall and released the notebook. She fell back and landed on her behind as the guard pointed his weapon at Gale's throat.

"Is this Lightless being uncooperative?" he asked. "Violent?"

"No," said Leah, scrambling back to her feet. "No, she was fine."

The guard wasn't convinced. "You're under no threat anymore, miss. Why did she have the notebook?"

"I--we--" She wasn't good at thinking on her feet. She panicked, but she couldn't panic. Not not. "She grabbed it. We aren't supposed to touch them, and--and I didn't want to rip the pages. It's the first time anything like this has happened, I didn't know what to do."

It sounded lame, but the guard just huffed. "You're new at this, aren't you?" Leah nodded. "If they aren't co-operating, you call the guard on duty for your lane. We'll help you deal with the difficult ones. Ask your questions, I'll keep it in line."

"I'll be fine," said Leah. She didn't want the guard in here. She wanted to be alone. She needed to ask about the Lightless that could use Light. "She seems calm now."

But the guard shook his head. "I can't take that risk."

And so, Leah asked the rest of the questions she didn't want to ask, copying down Gale's answers word-for-word in the hope that she'd be smart enough to leave some kind coded message the guard wouldn't understand, but everything seemed far too straight forward.

As a frustrated Leah stood up to leave the cell and move on to the next, Gale spoke once more.

"It's just too bad we Lightless can't use Light, isn't it?" said Gale, apparently talking to the guard. "We wouldn't always be in the Shade. It might be easier to find then, hmm?"

The guard told her to cut the nonsense, but Leah's heart had stopped. She met Gale's burning gaze and dared to give her the slightest nod. She didn't get a chance to do more as the guard ushered her out and into the next cell. Leah allowed herself to be led, desperately trying to come up with a reason to go back into the cell without the guard paying attention. Maybe tomorrow when there was a different guard on duty, she'd find an error in the answers and need to go back and ask. Maybe they'd mysteriously be smudged.

Even if they weren't, she had the information she'd craved since the Lightless had been brought in. Shade was free, and from Gale's description, he'd used a Displacer to escape. If Leah's guess was right, then it meant that either Shade wasn't Lightless, or that Gale's wild claim was true.

Could the Lightless really use Light?

*+*+*+*

A/N - Next chapter is going to be interesting. I don't think anyone's going to guess what's going to happen, either, but it involves a certain door being opened ^_~

Final NaNo wordcount: 63,255 [SLAIN!]