BAD PLACE
~
Massachusetts

Charlie hated funerals. He always thought they were bleak, given that he had only been to only one. The one that mattered for the most part, really.

     As dramatic a statement as it was, this was Charlie's first time experiencing loss. There have been family members of his that had passed away but he didn't feel like he knew them well enough to truly be rocked by such a devastating event. He'd be sad that they were gone and no longer a part of his life, but it'd just be that. With Susannah, it felt like getting the wind knocked out of him. Watching Conrad completely crumple only doubled the feeling. Despite how blasé and unbothered Conrad may have seemed to look 90% of the time, Susannah was his rock. Ever since Conrad had accidentally found out that his dad had cheated on her, he felt like he only had one parent in the long run.

     Charlie remembered exactly how it played out.

     He and Conrad were up late doing laundry after a long day of classes, and Conrad sort of had this lost look on his face while he was separating the lights from the darks. Charlie slowed his own separating to ask, "You okay? Seem a little out of it."

    Conrad blinked, as if he was remembering where he was. "Yeah. It's just—I found something out and I don't think my mom knows that I know."

     "Do you wanna talk about it?" Charlie asked, reaching for the laundry detergent and pouring some into the designated compartment on the washing machine.

     Conrad sighed, shoulders sagging with the move as if it took a lot of energy to complete the action. "I overheard my mom and dad arguing. My dad was cheating on my mom with the fucking secretary. I mean, how cliché is that? But I walked out before they could notice me."

     "It's just another day that ends in -y for book readers everywhere."

     Conrad knew he wasn't supposed to laugh, especially when he relayed such sensitive information, but he couldn't help but let out a hint of a laugh at Charlie's response. Somehow, even as corny and sometimes as juvenile as they were, Charlie always knew the right thing to say.

      Now? Now, he wasn't so sure.

Blue and purple hydrangeas were tucked into almost every nook and cranny as they all sat in silence in the church, reminding everyone that she was still here, as if the casket in front of them wasn't sitting there like some sick joke. It felt like too many people were here, they all couldn't have known Susannah like he and the Fisher and Park family did. Sure, he couldn't deny anyone from mourning Susannah, but it did feel like some people were only there because they were allowed to be.

      As the priest spoke, Charlie did what he could to not look at Conrad, who was quietly sniffling beside him the entire time, eyes rimmed with red and tears drying on his cheeks. He may not have looked at him, but his hand slowly made its way to Conrad's, silently laying itself on top of his. Conrad sobered up a little bit at the action, sniffling almost ceasing when he was touched. Then there was a gentle squeeze before Charlie drew his hand away and Conrad was quick to take it back, holding on to it for dear life, something along the lines of Don't let me go or I can't lose you, too. Another squeeze came in response.

     Never.

The wake was nice.

     The juxtaposition was crystal clear, as people were clad in black and stood against the colorful walls of the real Fisher home. It was odd to see, so Charlie hung his coat up in hopes of disrupting the pattern. It only helped a little. Marie only fussed with Charlie's suit one time, and it was before they entered the house. Now, she was off mingling with the other guests and left Charlie to his own devices. He stood idly by the snack table and debated whether or not to bring a plate to Conrad, who was already hiding out somewhere, which was fair because it did seem like an overwhelming sight to see all these people in your house for a person who wasn't even here anymore.

     Plate in hand, Charlie headed for the stairs. Before he could even hit the first step, Belly was asking, "Hey, have you seen Conrad?"

     "I was just about to go get this plate to him." Charlie held up the little appetizer dish so she could see. "You wanna come with?"

     Belly nodded, and the two bounded up the steps, looking all throughout the house to find the brooding boy. They were about to call it until they reached the bonus room, where a brown-skinned girl sat on the couch with Conrad's head in her lap. Aubrey. Charlie recognized her the second that she turned her head to him and Belly. She let out a small gasp and Conrad lifted his head at that, eyes widening at what was before him. For a second, Belly was unable to move, and then she whipped around and left, footfall still heavy as she got to the top of the stairs. Charlie still stood there awkwardly, holding the plate before he finally set it down.

    "Maybe you should go talk to her before she hates you forever," Charlie suggested softly as he finally turned around to leave. Conrad let out a huff, lightly checking Charlie in the shoulder as he moved past him, despite the burning grip he had on his hand an hour prior. Charlie was soon to follow behind him, preparing to stop the fight that was no doubt bound to break out in the foyer.

     "What do you want? Let go of me," Belly bit once Conrad finally got a hand on her upper arm, swerving on her foot to rip herself from his grip.

     Conrad swallowed, his Adam's apple visibly bobbing. "That was just Aubrey. She was helping me."

    "So you'll accept her help but not mine? Glad to know where I fall on the ranking of ex-girlfriends." Belly's face pinched a bit as she said it, clearly holding back tears at this point.

     "Grow up," Conrad ground out.

     "Go to hell," Belly spat back.

     Charlie put a hand on Conrad's shoulder, as if to warn him. "You are literally in the middle of your mom's wake. Chill. Out."

    Conrad shrugged him off, sniffling, but didn't bother making space and creating some distance between the two of them. Even with his voice of reason standing right behind him, he continued on. "I knew it was a bad idea starting something with you. A huge mistake."

     "I hate you. I never want to see you again." With that, Belly stomped past them, only to catch her foot on the rug and trip. Guests turned to look as Charlie helped her up, but she was quick to yank herself out of his reach and march out the front door, not daring to look back. Conrad stood in the foyer as he watched the front door dumbly, Charlie going to redirect him back up the stairs, Conrad following without a complaint.

"Are you staying the night?" Conrad asked as the last of the guests finally began to shuffle out of the house. Charlie stayed behind to help clean up while Marie and Laurel continued talking in the living room. Charlie was in the kitchen, helping wash whatever silverware that was left out and needed to be put back.

     "I don't know," Charlie paused, squeezing the sponge in his hand, "I'm sure my mom's tired so I might have to drive us back home."

     Conrad nodded. "Would you be coming back?"

     "Do you want me to?"

     "I wouldn't mind. You're my best friend. It's what best friends do."

     "So you don't need another body to keep you warm at night?"

     Conrad shrugged, leaning against the kitchen island. "Wouldn't hurt."

     "Wow. Okay. Good to know that that's how you see me." Charlie feigned hurt before he playfully whacked Conrad with the dish rag he had in his hands.

     "Hey, ow!"

     "That's what you get for objectifying me."

     "I wasn't—" Conrad started before he got whacked again. "That's not fair."

      Charlie stood, smug. "You gonna do something about it?" With the challenging lilt in his tone, Conrad couldn't help but lunge at the slightly taller boy, reaching for the rag in hopes of getting back at him. He was just within reach before it got swiped away. Charlie clicked his tongue faux disapprovingly. "Gotta move faster than that."

     Conrad lunged at him again, trapping Charlie between him and the sink. He got ahold of the towel but the momentum of his swinging himself forward ended up with him falling into Charlie, but Charlie was quick enough to hold him up by the waist before they both went crashing to the floor. The two instantly felt silent at that, Conrad's heart thrumming at hummingbird speed at the contact and complete lack of space. It wasn't anything new to them to be joined at the hip, they've been that way since they were six—physical contact was nothing new to them.

     But now that they were chest to chest and completely flush against one another, staring the other dead in the eye with the fact that Conrad had more or less lied to Belly that about dating her being a mistake hanging over Conrad's head, Charlie made sure to ask before either of them did something stupid.

     "You sure want me to stay over tonight?" Surprisingly, the two never pulled apart, even if Charlie did finally move his hand away.

     Conrad nodded. "Yeah. I could really use a friend right now."

      "Okay. I'll go let my mom know." Charlie carefully pushed Conrad back, who looked a blink away from falling asleep standing up. He gave his hand a gentle squeeze before going into the living room.

Author's Note / 051424
and if i said that conrad may have mild abandonment issues ? and if i said that charlie didn't mind conrad's clinginess bc he liked the feeling of being needed ?? hmm something to think about

feel free to tell me what you thought !