-"When you go, would you have the guts to say, "I don't love you like I did yesterday."-

HIZASHI AND SHOTA were a picture-perfect couple, they didn't fight, they shared interests, they spent every moment they could together, and they saw each other for who they were not just their personas. At least that's what Hizashi and others thought.

That assumption blinded Hizashi when Shota started pulling away, he figured Shota was just tired from work when Shota would come home and immediately go to bed. And Shota was probably just busy with overtime when he'd come home hours after he was supposed to. He made up excuses, refusing to see the blaring red flags.

Now Hizashi was nervously pacing their shared apartment, a small black box in his pant pocket. Shota was supposed to be home 2 hours ago, Hizashi had planned out the night, wanting everything to go perfectly, their dinner was growing cold on the dining room table as Hizashi chewed at his nails. His eyes flicked up towards the hallway entrance as the front door opened and footsteps approached.

Shota walked out of the hall and his eyes fell on Hizashi with an unreadable expression. Hizashi offered him a warm smile, "Sho, I made us dinner, it's a little cold but I can heat it if you want."

"No, I'm not really hungry Hizashi," Shota shook his head as he moved to go towards the bedroom like he usually did.

"Wait, Sho before you go to bed I had something I wanted to talk to you about!" Hizashi called making Shota stop and look back at him, a clear frown on his face. Hizashi ignored it as his heart hammered in his chest, he and Shota moved to sit on the couch and he cleared his throat looking to Shota. "I just wanted to say I love you very much,"

"Hizashi-" Shota started and Hizashi held up his hand to cut him off slowly sliding off the couch.

"And I want to be with you for the rest of my life," his hand slid into his pocket pulling out the small box, Shota's eyes widened as his mouth gaped trying to find the words but Hizashi finished looking up at Shota with hopeful eyes. "Shota Aizawa, will you marry me?"

"Hizashi I," Shota stuttered looking at the black ring between Hizashi's fingers before flicking up to Hizashi's red eyes. "No."

"Wait, what?" Hizashi pulled back with wide eyes, his heart started beating in his ears and he gained tunnel vision as he stared at the man in front of him.

"No, I can't marry you." Shota stared down at the man kneeling on the floor in front of him, ring still in hand. Hizashi leaned back and sat on his heels, his hand dropped and let go of the ring ignoring the clang of the ring rolling under the couch.

"Why?" Hizashi asked quietly slowly disassociating from the situation, the man he loved just rejected his proposal. Shota stood looking uncomfortable, he glanced around the room before looking back down at Hizashi.

"I don't want to marry you Hizashi, and it has nothing to do with you. I just, I want to break up. We're not the same people we were 9 years ago, and I don't think I feel the same." Hizashi looked down at his knees as tears started pooling in his eyes.

"But I love you," he whispered brokenly, Shota bit his lip and offered an awkward pat to Hizashi's hair.

"I'm sorry I can't love you the way you love me." He murmured before turning on his heel to go to the bedroom.

Hizashi could hear him rummaging around in the other room, he couldn't move, he was stuck on the floor staring at his knees. What the fuck just happened? He just lost a 9-year relationship in the span of 5 minutes.

A tear fell onto his hand and he started shaking, he didn't even look up when Shota passed through the living room with a couple of packed bags in his hands. He paused and looked at Hizashi's shaking form with a frown, he knew Hizashi wouldn't want his comfort so he continued walking and left.

The apartment was silent and empty, it crept into Hizashi's soul as sobs racked his body. He leaned forward hugging himself as his forehead touched the cool hardwood flooring of his previously shared apartment.

-

Hizashi woke up the next morning on the couch, his head hurt as he rubbed his face and felt dry tear tracks running down his face. He'd bet a million bucks he looked just as bad as he felt, he also smelled, really bad. Pushing himself off the couch with all the strength he had he trudged to the bathroom and looked in the mirror.

His eyes were puffy and bloodshot, his hair was sticking up at odd angles and he was sure he was nursing a mat on the back of his head where he slept. He sighed and turned on the shower, slowly stripping out of yesterday's clothes his mind wandered back to last night. Shota leaving left a gaping wound in Hizashi's heart, leaving him feeling raw and vulnerable.

"I'm sorry I can't love you the way you love me," echoed in Hizashi's head as his eyes filled with tears and he backed into the wall. He slowly slid down it and put his head in his hands, he sobbed on the bathroom floor in nothing but his boxers.

How long had Shota felt like this? Is this the reason he was being distant? Why now, why on the night Hizashi planned to propose?

Hizashi choked on a sob as his hands moved to pull at his hair, it was too much, the room was too warm, the water hitting the tile was too loud. He ripped his hearing aid out and chucked it to the side, a small voice in the back of his mind prayed they didn't break, as the sound muffled and quickly dissolved into silence Hizashi lifted his head and let it fall back against the wall.

He hiccuped and wiped his nose staring up at the ceiling, watching the steam slowly fill the bathroom. He pushes off the floor and stumbled his way into the shower deciding to get it over with so he could go pack Shota's shit. He shivered slightly as the water hit his back in a rhythmic pattern, he relaxed letting the water warm his aching bones. Sleeping on the couch is not as fun as it used to be.

Hizashi untangled his hair with his fingers before washing it and himself and stepping out. Standing in front of the mirror with a towel wrapped around his waist he glared at himself in the mirror.

He had to have done something to make Shota leave, he knew he wasn't the easiest to love or hell even like. Most people around him tolerated him at best, at worst they ignored him or talked down to him. His mind raced trying to find the answer to this impossible equation.

What did I do? What did I do that made him leave? Maybe I was too loud, he always said I was too loud. Or maybe I didn't love him enough, or maybe I loved him too much, Hizashi shouted in frustration pressing the butt of his palms into his burning eyes.

As he angrily rubbed his eyes he felt a hand press against his back and another grab his wrist, gently pulling it away from his eye. He jumped and whipped his head towards this mystery person invading space during his breakdown time.

It was Nemuri, staring at him with concern. Hizashi watched her lips move but he couldn't figure out what she was saying, his arms dropped and he deflated falling into the woman's arms. He sobbed harder than before as Nemuri wrapped her arms around him and carefully lowered them to the floor.
She let Hizashi curl up in her lap and cry himself out, petting his wet hair and rubbing his back comfortingly.

Some would find this predicament embarrassing, crying in your best friend's arms basically naked. But in all honesty, this wasn't the worst state Nemuri had found Hizashi in. She was the first one to comfort him after Orboro died, she took care of him and Shota while dealing with her own grief. Just thinking of that time made Hizashi's chest hurt, it was the time he found out Shota wanted Orboro, and he just settled for Hizashi because he couldn't have the other man.

He always wanted Orboro, and he probably still did, that thought made Hizashi choke on a sob and bury his face in Nemuri's neck. She just held him tighter and pressed a kiss to his forehead.