It's a funny thing about families. No matter how many times they bug you or nag you or torment you; no matter how many times you slam your bedroom door, screaming "I HATE you!"; you know that you love them and that they love you too. At least, that's the case with my family. I know that all families are different. Mine is more different than most.
In some ways, it's normal. I kind of have a father, an annoying big brother, a little sister. I also have a step mum and a stepbrother. When you say it like that, it doesn't really sound that much different from any other family. I mean, loads of people have step-families, or half-families, divorced or even dead parents. Let me explain how it's complicated.
My father is actually my uncle. And my sister is really my cousin.
When you say it like that, it seems way too complicated, so maybe I should tell you how our family has ended up like it has.
About a year after my cousin Rosie was born, her mother (my aunt) left to get remarried, as far as I know without even saying goodbye. Why she did is beyond the power of my imagination. How could anyone leave my amazing Uncle Fred, or Rosie, who's the sweetest little girl who ever lived? We've never really mentioned Rosie's mum, so I don't know a lot about her, but I don't much care. If she wanted to turn her back on the best family ever, it's her loss. Still, I think her leaving really hurt Uncle Fred.
A few months after, my parents went on a holiday to Australia to go whale watching. The ocean can be dangerous, so Adam, who was six at the time, and I (four years old) went to live with Uncle Fred for a month. Only it turned out to be much longer than a month, because a storm at sea caused my parents' boat to sink to the dark, silent depths of the ocean.
Since then, Adam and I have lived with Uncle Fred. I don't really remember my parents, and if I do have any memories they're blurred and incomplete. I think Adam remembers, though, and I think he misses them. It's hard to tell with Adam, though. He doesn't really share his feelings with people. Sometimes, I wish that my parents were still here and that we could all be one happy family together. Sometimes, I wish I had a real father, although Uncle Fred is awesome. And a mother. In fact, especially a mother.
But some wishes are impossible, obviously.
But we were ok. I love my crazy, mixed-up family lots. We weren't perfect, but we were happy.
When I was eight, Uncle Fred met a woman called Nikki. Well, re-met, really. They'd been friends since university, but they'd lost touch after my aunt left. Nikki had a family too, but only a little one: her husband had died around the same time as my parents had, but she had a seven-year-old son named Jack. They got back in touch, and this time they were more than friends.
When Nikki moved in, we were still happy. I mean, I like Nikki and Jack, and I know that Uncle Fred is happier with them here than I've ever seen him. But the new arrivals shook up our family, and it took a while for the dust to settle.
Rosie was fine, obviously. Even now, she isn't yet in secondary school and sees no evil in the world. As a five year old, she welcomed Nikki and Jack as part of the family and that was that. Adam wasn't so easy to get along with. He's always had a tough time accepting change, and he was quite hostile towards our new stepfamily for over a year after they moved in. He gets along really well with them both now, but they're not especially close.
And me? I mean, Nikki and Jack are great. But this was a really big change for me. Uncle Fred had faced enough sadness in his life, with my aunt leaving and my parents drowning. What if Nikki hurt him, too?
Nikki and Jack are great. But I don't know if I love them. I mean, can you love a stepfamily the way you love your real family?
Last year, when Adam was fifteen, I was thirteen, Jack was twelve and Rosie was ten, Fred and Nikki asked us all how we would feel if they got married.
So now we're officially a family.
And I don't know how I feel about that.