@/Luke_is_a_penguin
-They were handcuffed all day together and this was the reaction from Michael after Ashton took off the handcuffs 😂

Comments:
@/calumhood
   -i hate you guys -.-

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•

"They say were losers and we're alright with that"

*clap clap clap*

"We are the leaders of the not coming back's but were alright though. Yeah we're alright tho!"

They were playing live for Japan this night and all Calum wanted was to feel excited but he couldn't. His anxiety at this point started to take over.

"Why are you here?"

"They don't want you here! You're making yourself look like a fool"

"You'll never learn"

"Even the band doesn't want you"

"You disguisting fuck!"

Calum swallowed hard before the lights went out. They were having a small stage break at the right moment. Calum ran off stage and made his way towards the hall. His heart was racing out of his chest and he felt panick. He ran into the restroom and went into a toilet and closed the door.

He was breathing uncontrollably, he was sweating and he started crying. Crying because he felt useless at all times. He was having a panick attack...

He pressed his hands against the wall as he was trying to catch his breath.

At that point, someone entered the restrooms. He casually took a piss and Calum heard him washing his hands.

Calum let out a small sob he couldn't hold back anymore. "Hello?" A familiar voice asked. It was Michael. Calum stayed quiet. "Calum i know you're in there i can see your all stars" Michael said. Calum sighed and opened the door.

Michael's eyes widened "Cal omg, you look horrible" Michael said. "Wow thanks" Calum said sarcastically. "C'mere" Michael said and opened his arms for him. Calum immidiately wrapped himself around Michael and held onto his shirt with his whole life.

"Whatever it is that's bothering you, i'm sure you'll be fine" Michael said.

"Thanks Mike..i needed that" Calum said as he pulled away. Michael smiled "of course! We still got 2 minutes, you coming?" Michael said. "Yes..but, please don't tell Luke or Ashton about this..please" Calum said. "Mmm..okay then" Michael said hesitating and grabbed Calum's hand before going on stage.

•

"I don't want Xanax!" Calum yelled with tears in his eyes. He was gripping the hospital bed sheets with his whole life.

"It'll make you feel better..it'll make you feel good" the doctor said as he inched closer to Calum. "No!" He yelled. Calum started to cry out as was now pressed against the headboard of the hospital bed.

The doctor stopped in his tracks and many other people filled the room.

"Xanax.." he said.

"Xanax.."

"Xanax" someone joined him. Calum started to shake as more people were getting involved.

"Xanax, Xanax!" The people yelled in Calum's face. He shook his head "no! Stop!" He yelled as the doctor got closer with the pill in his hands.

"Take-it!" The doctor said while looking down at Calum.

Calum shook his head and before he knew it the doctor was flying at his face. He pressed Calum down harshly while someone else was holding his head down. "Stop!" He yelled as someone was tugging at his hair. The doctor made Calum opened his mouth and popped the pill in. He closed Calum's mouth and pressed his nostroles closed, so that he was forced to swallow the xanax. Calum was moving around like crazy, trying to get out of the grip. As Calum couldn't breath, he swallowed the pill..

Calum his body then relaxed. Tho, not in a good way. He felt numb and paralized, he couldn't move. The memories and the pain was still there..

-

Calum's eyes shot open as he was breathing heavily. Sweat was dripping down from his forehead as he rubbed his eyes.

He had a nightmare...

"Fuck" he cursed at himself as he got out of bed. He decided to have shower since he knew he couldn't sleep anymore anyways, besides he didn't want too. He went into the bathroom of the English hotel, since they were have way trough the world tour and were now in London.

•

Calum had gotten out of the shower and went towards his balcony to have a smoke. He need to release all the stress and anxiety. Although he knew deep down that smoking was bad, he did it anyways. He was so madly in love with Lucy. He would do anything for her, any time of the day.

He then decided to send her a text. He didn't know what the time in LA was right now or if she was awake, but he tried anyway.

C: Hey, just checking in on you since i can't sleep and i'm having a smoke :p
-4:56 am

Calum sighed and locked his phone. He inhaled from the cigarette and tilted his head up before exhaling a cloud of smoke.

His doctor had told him to stop smoking since it was bad for him but he never listened. He got discribed Antidepressants and Xanax when they had diagnosed Anxiety and depression. Tho Calum never took the Xanax. He didn't know why he feared the medication so much. He just wouldn't take it in anyway possible.

"I must been missing something" Calum whispered in himself as he exhaled the last cloud off smoke and dropping his cigarette to the floor and stepped on it with his new all stars.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. His face lit up as he saw that Lucy had send him a text trough snapchat.

L: you're hot when you smoke

C: shut up loser

L: never :)

L: I'm watching Game of Thrones, what do you want Cal-Pal!?

C: it's very simple actually

C: you

L: aww you miss me :)

C: yeah i do, i miss your cuddles

L: you mean you miss the sex before the cuddles..?

C: I'm not like that..horny

L: Really?

C: yuP

L: so if i'd send you a nude you wouldn't flip?

C: well

C: i wouldn't mind

L: nice try Cal-Pal ;)

C: don't tease me like that :(

L: you said YOU WerenT hOrny !

C: i also said i wouldn't mind :)

L: give me a sec

C: WAIT WOT!

C: YOU ACTUALLY DOING YHAT!?

C: YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAG I WAS JUST JOKINH!

C: LU?!

Calum covered his mouth when he stared down at his phone. Was she really about to send those photos!? He felt guilty for some reason. He didn't wanted her to be forced into doing it. What was he thinking. She wanted to do it herself.

L: Here ;) *picture attached*

L: *picture attached*

Calum gulped for a second. No she didn't..
Calum licked his lips. He felt bad now doing that.

C: i feel bad

L: why?

C: idk it just feels wrong

L: i wanted to

C: true

C: hold on

L: iknow what you're gonna do ;) enjoy

Calum locked his phone and went into the bathroom where he recently had taken a shower. Calum was about to do the complete oppisite of that..

He pulled down his pants before opening snapchat. He then pulled down his underwear and took a snap and sending the video to Lucy, not knowing he had made the biggest mistake of his life..

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