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Sometimes you make me feel
Like I have a chance with you.

But when I take that chance.
You make me realize

I never really did.

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Jaemin woke up, and looked beside him to see that the boy was still there. Sleeping, so peacefully, as if the world around them didn't even matter. He looked ethereal, so unreal. Jaemin reached out his hand only to retracted it, because he thought, if a bad person like him ruin such a beautiful thing as Jeno, he'd never forgive himself.

So Jaemin just watched, Jeno was still on his shoulder but they were laying down now. His head was tilted up somewhat, and his whole precious face was shown towards the other boy. Jaemin stared, that whole morning. Well, actually it was 4am. Jaemin left Jeno's at 5, carefully after removing his head from his shoulder and brushing his hair back. Jaemins body begged to give him a kiss, right then and there, but fought back the urge. He didn't want to ruin this friendship, not after he's gotten this far.

As Jaemin walks down the sidewalk, he felt giddy. No, he felt amazing. He woke up to him, the love of his life it seemed like. Jaemin smiled his whole way home, not caring about the cold wind that slapped his cheeks from the left, not caring about the time, and not caring about his parents. Jaemin wanted to go back, so badly. To just return the place where Jeno was in his arms. It seemed like a dream. It felt like one, but it wasn't, which he was grateful for. Jaemin wishes to wake up to Jeno every morning, everyday.

How he wishes that could happen.

Jeno woke up to the sound of his stupid alarm. He groaned until he had enough and slapped the alarm to the ground. Jeno cursed at the loud sound it made hitting the carpet. He sat up slowly, and suddenly thought back to last night. A light blush danced across his cheeks.

'Did Jaemin really come over last night to hang out with me?' Jeno thinks to himself. 'Wait a second..I feel like i missed something last night. Jaemin must've left. Damn. You messed up again Jeno. Great.'

Jeno sighed outloud and quickly got up after he saw the time. Jeno brushed his teeth and actually brushed his hair. Opening the drawer to grab my concealer, my eye caught something on the ground.

The stain. The red stain.
It was just there. Sitting there, haunting him from the night before. As if it had the right too.
Jeno paused everything, and the thoughts came rushing in, the memories.

Memories.

.
.
.

"Please mommy! Please don't leave me! Please don't leave me!!" A young boy with dark hair cried while he saw his mother, lying in the hospital bed. On the verge of dying.

And no one did anything.

Her smile was weak as she looked at the young boy, who had tears rolling down his cheeks. His face was in pain, and he was desperately trying to help his only shine of light.

"Please be good. I love you my son. Don't forget me. I love you...

Jeno"

.
.
.

Jeno snapped out of it, violently shaking his head and ran downstairs putting on his converse. Jeno grabbed his bag and ran out the door, running down the sidewalk with no intention to be late. He got into the school grounds just in time, the bell rang not a moment later. Jeno was panting and was trying gain oxygen on the way to his first class. Jeno got in the classroom, only to see Jaemin with his girlfriend and her friends.

Jeno quickly took his regular seat and looked out the window. Hoping that Jaemin doesn't come over here, and doesn't talk to him. Jeno doesn't know why but he feel like being alone at this moment. He almost feel sick to the gut, and his memories are getting so loud, he could practically hear his plead in his mind.

That's when his wishes came true and the teacher walked in, assigning students to take their seats. Jeno let out a breath, which he didn't even know he was holding, and class begun. Little did Jeno know a particular person with brown golden hair was staring at him from afar, that whole class time.

It was now lunch break, and Jeno wondered where Jaemin was. Jeno was looking for him because he's noticed he's been looking down lately. He also wanted to just talk to him, be by him. Jeno never felt so clingy in my life, but Jeno felt something with him, he felt safe somehow.

Jeno didn't find him until he got the rooftop, and there he saw him eating, alone. Jeno felt bad, because out of all people Jaemin should never eat alone. Jeno smiled and went over to join him, once he noticed the other boy Jaemin smiled up at him.

"Jeno! What are you doing here?" He said still smiling. His smile was literally glowing. Not just because the sun was reflecting off of him, but because he was ethereal either way.

Jeno smiled, he looked cute.

"You seemed lonely, and plus I wanted to talk...mind if I?.." Jeno gestured towards the spot beside him.

"No no I don't mind! Sit!" Jaemin replied energetically.

Jeno smiled and sat by him. They stared at-each other for awhile, just enjoying each other's presence. Until Jaemin noticed something.

"Do you have a lunch?" Jaemin asked looking at my hands, which were trembling.

"Ah- no..I um ate a big breakfast.." Jeno cursed in mind for lying.

'I don't eat in the mornings. My fear is food. My disorder has only gotten worse since...that Incident. The Incident.' Jeno thought.

"Oh, well you want some of mine?" Jaemin asks smiling.

Jeno had to change the topic, and fast.

"Oh no! I actually came here to talk Jaemin.." Jeno said uneasy.

"Oh, what's on your mind Jeno?" Jaemin locked his attention on the other.

"You seem down lately..I've noticed. Wanna talk about it?.." Jeno gave him a hopeful look.

"I...well..." The boys smile disappeared and he looked down. Jeno panicked.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to Nana!" Jeno blushed as the nickname slipped out. That's when his smiled appeared again, and he looked at him.

"You called me by my nickname." Jaemin said teasingly. Jeno blushed hard and tried to hide his face.

"Cute." Jaemin whispered under his breath.

"What was that?" Jeno asked.

"Nothing." Jaemin quickly said.

'Actually no, it's not nothing. Your so pure and innocent. So perfect in every way. So beautiful. I want you as mine. Only mine, so I can show you love and affection everyday. I hope that day will come for us Jeno ;For me and you.' Jaemin thought to himself.

"And actually yes, something is sorta making me down lately. It's my parents. They've been- pretty mad at me lately and we've been fighting." Jaemin explained and looked over at Jeno. "Ya know Jeno, sometimes I just wanna get away, from my parents, this school...my thoughts."

'With you. I wanna runaway with you.' Jaemin screams in his mind.

"I don't know what to do sometimes." Jaemin admitted, and if he had to be honest, Jaemin felt better saying it.

Jeno gave him a small smile, but concern was wiped all over his face. He gave Jaemin those eyes, those eyes which he wish he could explain but Jaemin can't, they were just unexplainable.

"Nana~ if you ever need something I'm always here, even if you need to vent." Jeno whispered.

At that moment the bell rang.

"Aw." Jeno pouted, and Jaemin almost squealed, it was so cute. "Well we better get going Nana~" He said shyly. Jaemin smiled.

The other got up, and started walking away when Jaemin felt a sudden urge.

"Jeno." Jaemin called quickly before he began walking away, getting up as well.

"Yes Nana?" He said looking up at Jaemin.

"I'll walk you home after school." Jaemin said.

"You don't have to Jaemin.." Jeno argued.

"No! I insist! To make up for yesterday." Jaemin said quickly and smiled.

"Ok, see you Nana!" Jeno smiled and ran to the door, opening it he walks in and it closes behind him.

Jaemin was left standing there, smiling like an idiot in love.

If there was one person who could light up his day, it was Lee Jeno.

Jaemin did walk Jeno home after school, and before Jeno went inside his house, he gave him a goodnight hug, which Jeno returned. He stood infront of Jenos apartment, wishing he could do something in the environment that Jeno lived in.

Someday Jeno.

I'll give you everything you want and need.

Ill spoil you until the days are over with.

And I'll love you until my last breath gives away.

But little did Jaemin know, is that his breath
would not be the one to give away.

At lease not first.