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My biggest fear

Is that eventually

You will see me

The way I see

Myself

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It was midnight when Jaemin got home. After he walked Jeno home he went out to take a walk himself. Just to clear his thoughts a little. His 'girlfriend' has been driving him crazy, texting and calling his phone nonstop. It's either 'can we hang out' or 'I'm bored come cuddle me.' Jaemin seriously just want her to leave him alone, he doesn't even like her. Jaemin didn't like girls in particular now, not that he's found Jeno.

Jeno.

A beautiful thought comes to his mind when he thinks of Jeno, and smiles unknowingly. Jaemin thinks of his cute eye-smiles and little giggles that he shares here and there every time they're together. Jaemin still doesn't know Jeno's sexuality, nor if he even likes boys romantically. Jaemin want to be more to Jeno though, he wants to be that someone to Jeno. Someone he can always lean on, and tell stuff too. Jaemin wants Jeno to trust him, but most of all, he wants him to love him the way Jaemin loves him.

Jaemin opened the door to his house and was greeted with the sight of his annoyed looking parents. His mother had this sad but stern look on her face while his dad had a full blown 'I'm gonna kill you' look on. Jaemin had to admit, he was sorta scared.

"Na Jaemin!" His mother raised her voice and the said boy flinched. She was beyond mad, and she was beyond angry. She through something at me and Jaemin caught it swiftly, it was a piece of paper. He recognized it immediately, and panicked; it was the test that he did a week ago. Jaemin knew he flopped but not this bad.

"A 56?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME JAEMIN?!" His father shouts and that's when the boy knew things were getting serious. Jaemin hung his head low and mumbled a 'sorry.'

"THATS IT! IVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU GOING AROUND- AND- AND- DOING WHATEVER YOUR DOING BUT STUDYING! YOU ARE A NA AND IN THIS HOUSEHOLD WE DO NOT SHELTER FAILURES! I AM KICKING YOU OUT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR ACT STRAIGHT!" His father yells in one breath and Jaemin froze looked up in shock.

'Kicked out? They cant kick me out I have nowhere else to go-' Jaemin panics in his mind.

"You can't kick me out! I have nowhere else to go! Please let me try again!" Jaemin tries.

"NO! GO!" His father shouts and with that the maids opened the doors to the entrance, most of them on the verge of crying and in dismay. Jaemin turned towards his mother but she was doing the same thing with her head hung low.
Jaemin furrowed my eyebrows, he had never felt so betrayed.

'She betray her own son. Fine. Let's just see how well she does without her child around.' Jaemin thinks carelessly.

"Fine. So be it. Like I ever wanted to be a Na anyway." Jaemin spat out with attitude and stomped his way out the door into the cold. The doors shut just when his father was beginning to yell again.

Now Jaemin walks alone, in the cold. No where to go, and no shelter to protect him from the horrid weather. Jaemin was mad, and pretty hungry. Jaemin had never felt so betrayed by his own family, and he's so angered by his mother. How could she not stand up for her only son, how could she be so scared of a man who doesn't even love her. Jaemin shook his head and began walking when a certain voice echoed through his mind.

"I'm always here for you Nana~"

Jeno

'I'll go to Jeno's! I know where he lives, and he said so himself, he'd always be there for me.' Jaemin decides.

Jaemin began walking towards Jeno's apartment, and began picking up his speed. At one point he began to start running. Jaemin felt happy, maybe getting in a fight with his parents was fate.

Once he got to Jeno's apartment, he ran up the stairs since he remembered which number he was in. Jaemin gave the door a swift 3 knocks and happily waited on Jeno. He rocked back and forth on his converse and after about a minute the door opened revealing a half asleep Jeno.

Jaemin had never felt so whipped in his life seeing Jeno with a bed head, the cute pajamas that were pastel blue, and tired eyes. But those eyes got big once they saw the boy.

"J-Jaemin?" He asks in a hoarse whisper.

"Hey Jeno, remember when you said you were always gonna there for me...well right now I need someplace to stay..for awhile actually." Jaemin explains shyly, but believes Jeno got the meaning whenever his eyes got bigger than they already were.

"Oh ok. Come in-" He says and opens the door so Jaemin could walk in.

Jaemin quickly walks in and the sweet smell greeted him once again. The smell of Jeno, just sweet like candy. He sighed out a breath and faced Jeno after he closed and locked the door once more.

"So um..how long are you going to be staying?.." he asks tiredly. Jaemin watches in awe.

"Just until I get my grades up in school, I totally flunked the test we had last week and my parents sorta kicked me out of the house. So.." Jaemin explains simply and Jeno's eyes got big once again. Jaemin thought they were gonna pop out anytime soon.

"They kicked you out?" He asks mouth wide open.

Jaemin laughs at his cuteness, considering he was still in his cute pajamas which consist of a baby blue big t shirt, and long baby blue fluffy pants. He can't get any cuter.

"Yea..so can I stay at your place until then? Its ok if I can't I can always go somewhere else!" Jaemin quickly says, he really didn't have any other place to go to, and just wanted to stay here with Jeno.

The other looked in thought for a moment and slowly nodded.

"Ok...I'll tell you the rules in the morning..but follow me. You can sleep in my room." He says and walks past me to the door behind him.

Jaemin quickly follows behind him and once we entered the room, a cinnamon smell hit his nose. Jaemin looks around and noticed that there were fairy lights hung up, he had a little desk in the corner of the room and to the left of that was his bed. It was a pretty big bed; and at the end of that was the closet. It was warm in here too. It was just as he imagined, sweet and cute. He had 3 stuffed animals on his bed, all of them were that lazy egg thing Ive seen around.

'What was it called? A gudeta? Gatamata? I don't know.' Jaemin thinks to himself silently.

"Mm..I only have 1 bed..you can sleep with me or you can sleep on the couch in the living room. Either one is fine, but- before you do take a shower." He opens his closet and reached up to get a white colored towel, and he hands it to Jaemin.

Jaemin was flustered after the boy said that he could sleep with him, of course no dirty thoughts came to mind- the boy was innocent.

"The shower is on your left, just don't look into any drawers- and here. I don't have any other pajamas so.." he handed me a big hoodie and some big pants. "If they don't fit..just wake me up. Goodnight~" He says softly as he walks to bed, jumping onto it.

'He must be tired.' Jaemin smiles at him, he was like a big baby.

"Goodnight JenoJam~" Jaemin whispers teasingly.

Jaemin quickly walks down the small hall to find the bathroom and goes in. He started taking off his clothes when he looked at one of the drawers; he got curious. Jaemin didn't want to invade his privacy but he couldn't resist. Slowly reaching for the little nob, he pulled on it.

Locked. It was locked.

Jaemin tried the others but they were locked too. He didn't understand, what's so important that Jeno had to lock it?

Jaemin shook his thoughts away and quickly got in the shower. He didn't want to be rude and waste water. Jaemin washed pretty fast and got out wrapping a towel around his slim waist. He smelled like cinnamon now because his body wash was cinnamon scented.

'I smell like Jeno.' Jaemin thought jokingly, and smiles at the thought. 'Now I'm being creepy.'

Jaemin quickly dried off and changed into the clothes Jeno gave him, and went out of the bathroom. Jaemin gave a small smirk. Jeno said he could sleep with him, and plus he's already asleep, he wouldn't mind.

Jaemin tiptoes his way to Jeno's room and walked into the dim lighted room. He saw Jeno sleeping peacefully on the left side of the bed ;he left a space for Jaemin. The boy smiles and slowly walks over as he gently lifts the covers and shoves himself under them. He could literally feel Jeno's body heat and could feel his heart start pounding.

'I'm in a bed, with Jeno.' Jaemin thinks to himself.

Jaemin covers his face with his hands and whispers to himself to stop it. He slowly turns around to see Jeno's back, slowly going up and down at the breaths he takes. He displays a soft smile for the "big baby". Then he lets his gay confidence took over and decided to do something that he thought he would regret.

"Jeno~" Jaemin whispers. He waits patiently for a reply but after a while saw the other sorta shift and he gave a little groan with a high pitched ending. "I sleep better when cuddling something..can I?" Jaemin asks softly.

There was silence for a moment but then Jeno did the unexpected. He turned around towards the other and hugged him by his middle. Jaemin heard him whisper something but didn't listen because he was in shock. Jaemin slowly wraps his arms around the other and pulls him in more. He let out a loving sigh, and laid his chin on top of Jeno's head.

It was going to be a quiet night.

They cuddled all night. Entangled in each others legs and arms. Jaemin never once dared to let go of Jeno, and as of Jeno, he barely new what he was doing. The moment he hugged Jaemin was the moment he thought he'd just ruined their friendship- but Jaemin asked for it right? They slept softly- and forgot about the world around them. And for once. Felt safe, and- maybe even love.

But little did they know, fate was not on their side.