We return home after an hour, and meet dad by the door, his long face had stretched throughout the day into a stern frown that's not much different from mum's after work. A shadow looms under his sunken eyes.

I remember seeing a photo of dad when he was younger, sitting in a bar, his eyes which were raised by his smile, glistened with wonder. I haven't seen him laugh since I was a toddler, at least from I could remember..

Not long after mum comes home, we start diner.

First, she sends us to wash our hands. Then she inspects our nails to make sure they're clean.

After everything I ate at the cafe, I search for the best way to finish my Mediterranean meal without exploding. I look over at Adalyn and could tell she's having the same problem, she holds her stomach, pocking her food with her fork.

"Don't playing with your food," mum snaps.

A few nerves rise within me, the kind I get when I'm standing on stage facing a hundred eyes. Luckily mum hasn't realised I haven't eaten much either.

"Sorry." Adalyn responds quickly.

"Eat before it gets cold." Mum adds, Adalyn gulps as she stares at her plate.

"How was your exam?" Dad asks, and my horror begins.

I shuffle in my seat, averting my gaze so he won't start with me. He should be used to it by now - my constant failure, I don't understand why he keeps questioning us about it, expecting something to change.

Adalyn uses his question to avoid eating, "I got an A+ in maths." She left her bag under the table before dinner. She takes out her test paper, the letter A+ is circled at the top in red, emanating a completely different vibe to the eerie E on mine.

Dad looks through the test, his frown easing slightly, "eighty out of eighty, you've improved."

I keep my attention on my plate.

Adalyn stalls a bit longer, "if you look at question 9, it took a lot of working out, stuff we hadn't fully covered in class yet."

"This is what happens when you focus, I told you one day you'll thank us," mum gets up to hug her, suddenly, I feel a sting in my chest as I watch them.

I eat my food hoping that somehow they'll forget I'm here. However, I know I have to give them my test sheet, when I'm called out. "I got an E." I'm honestly proud I did better.

My eyes down, I wish I could somehow not have to look at their faces. Like tide waves, I can feel their disappointment, it rocks my confidence, like I'm being submerged and left to drown.

'It wasn't even a major test'

"Maybe if you put more effort into your studies you would amount to something better, look at your sister" dad lectures.

Adalyn shrinks in her seat, I hate it when they drag her into it.

I take a bite of my food, but it's hard to swallow.

"He did so much better this time, and answered alot more questions, if I keep tutoring him I know he'll get better results," Adalyn tries to convince my parents.

"Don't waste your time, you need to focus on yourself." Dad's words are a chainsaw breaking into my patience.

I smack my fork onto the table, "

Mum sits with a dark expression, " if you don't pick yourself up by the next test your banned from music"

I want to yell at her, but instead I clench my teeth so tightly I can almost feel them push into my gums.

"You don't look too good, do you want me to book an appointment for you?" Mum places a hand on sis's cheek

I'm guessing she's worried about the colour of her eyes.

I watch my parents agonise over my sister, urging her to take better care of herself before her exam. I focus on my food quietly, keeping out of their conversation then finally return to my room.

Headphones in, I scroll through my playlist until I find a song I'm in the mood for. The beat carries me away into another world, it sways me between a range of powerful emotions that words can't ever capture. I tap my hands on my lap, following the music. This is the only thing that matters.

I've made up my mind. I pack some of my things, and with my guitar in hand, I leave.

I close the door gently, envisioning my musical future, but somehow, Adalyn must have heard me. She calls out to me before I can get far, "What were you planning to do after leaving?"

" It doesn't matter, anywhere is better than here." I might go over to Jackson's place, or Ronny's, I'll even risk it and sleep on the streets if I have to, I don't want to stay where I'm not wanted.

"Forget about what they said." Nothing she says can make me change my mind. 

"I don't care about what they say, I hate how they look at me. They won't even try to understand me." I used to wonder if I'm adopted, now it doesn't matter. "You can't keep letting them control your life like this either, you should tell them you want to start playing drums again." Every time I let my parents down, I double the pressure on my sister and I feel bad about it, but its up to her to say no.

Adalyn pleads with me. Exuding massive amounts of desperation, her voice quivers, "please don't leave me alone in that house." She starts crying, a thick red liquid fills her eyes and flows down her cheeks like ink.

'what's happening to her?' I wipe her crimson tears but they leave a red smudge.

Her hand shakes as she does the same with the other tear.