"Are you really going to tutor Ryan?" Nathan asks, picking up his backpack and slinging it over his right shoulder.

We ended up staying for the remainder of the class. Sure, we didn't need to stay, per se, but why would we go and ruin our perfect attendance because of one embarrassing...er, stupid incident? I'm trying to get into a really good school, thank you very much.

I sigh and nod. Nathan notices my reluctance and smiles.

"Don't do that," I say, laughing.

"What?" he asks, smiling wider.

"That. The smile. Your smile. It's not appropriate for the scenario. Your best friend is about to tutor one of the most respected people in this school." My stomach twists at the thought and I worry I'll be sick again.

"Chill out, Gee. It's not that big of a deal if you say no. You can ask to tutor someone else." We start to head out the front doors and to the parking lot. "Mrs. White loves you. I'm sure she'll pull some strings."

We stop by his dark blue (he calls it black, but it's clearly blue) 2010 Toyota Tacoma. I lean my back against the passenger side door and cross my arms. The Colorado sun is warm on my skin and I close my eyes, taking in the vitamin D.

"You don't get it," I say, eyes still closed. "What if Ryan gets a crappy tutor, some sub-par science geek, and he fails? Then you guys won't make it to play-offs. Who will be to blame?"

I open my eyes and look at Nathan, who is throwing his backpack in the back seat of his truck.

"The sub-par tutor."

I shake my head and walk around to the other side of the truck. Compared to his vehicle, I always feel so short. I'm easily 5'2", which makes me not only the shortest person in my family but at least the size of a child when I stand next to this mechanical beast. I stand next to Nathan.

"No. Not the sub-par tutor. Sure, he would get some blame. But Ryan has already been told that I'm his tutor. He probably told all of his friends already. Made me the butt of the joke yet again."

"Hey!" Tony calls out from the next few rows over. "Are you coming or what?"

I roll my eyes and turn my attention back to my friend. "You know I'm right. You know how I know? Because you're smart. You put the pieces together. If I say no, I might actually be the social outcast for real this time. You won't even be able to save me."

"GEMMA!" Tony yells again.

Nathan fixes Tony with a stare. "You have plans?"

This is the part where I make it up to him a thousand times over by skipping out on our plans that we made two weeks ago. Our capstone topic deadline is quickly approaching. Today was meant to be time spent dedicated to editing each other's thesis. But plans had to change on my end out of nowhere.

"Sorry," I say with a grimace. "I have an appointment with the d—" I stop. "The dentist."

"But you have perfect teeth," he says, eyeing me suspiciously.

"It's an insurance thing with my dad's job. I thought I told you. Tomorrow?"

Nathan shakes his head. "No can do. Football practice."

"After? You can stay for dinner."

Nathan laughs and shakes his head. "All right, sure. Tomorrow."

I start to walk over to Tony's car.

"Richards!" Nathan yells.

I turn around, walking backward. Dangerous, considering how clumsy I am, but definitely worth it when it comes to Nathan.

"Good luck with the dentist!"

I salute in thanks and turn back around. Tony is leaning against his open car door.

"Finally," he says. "You took forever. Get in the car."

I follow orders and sit on the passenger side of the car. My backpack lands with a heavy thud in the backseat. Tony gets in and starts the engine.

"The dentist?" Tony asks with a sideways glance. He pulls out of his parking spot and heads for the main road. "You didn't tell him, did you?"

"No," I say quickly. Defensively. "I just...can't yet. Okay?"

"Okay," he says, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel. "You'll have to tell him at some point, though."

"I know."

"Why haven't you told him yet?"

I look out the window, at the passing trees. The Rocky Mountains look picturesque against the horizon. Colorado has always been my home. I haven't lived anywhere else. And I'd like to consider myself lucky.

"I just don't want to yet, okay?"

I hear Tony laugh before he turns on the left-hand turning signal.

"Because you don't want to tell your childhood crush that you have—"

I fix him with a glare and cut him off. "I do not have a crush on him. He's just my friend."

"Okay," Tony says. "Geez. No need to react that way."

We're silent for a moment.

"Does he know that?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You're smart, Gemma. Figure it out."

Before I can answer, we pull into Windsor's medical center — UCHealth. I unbuckle and get out of the car.

I guess it's time for me to explain a bit. Over the summer, I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma, a type of cancer that affects my white blood cells. Basically, it destroys my immune system. Unfortunately, we didn't exactly catch it early. So, every other week, I have an appointment. And I haven't told anyone about it. Other than my family, and the bird that has managed to perch on my windowsill every time I have to throw up, knows about my diagnosis. Nathan doesn't even know. I haven't had the heart to tell him. Because, if I did, he would never look at me the same. And I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet.

My phone dings as I head straight for the automatic doors of the health center. I quickly look at the screen. My heart jumps to my throat.

Hey Gemma. Nate gave me ur #. I'll be at your house later to make tuttoring plans.

I roll my eyes and shove my phone into my back jean's pocket. Nathan was definitely hearing some strong words from me later. Why in the world would he give Ryan my number?

"Everything okay?" Tony asks as I fill out the patient information sheet.

"Just dandy." I write my name, age, and diagnosis, then stop. "Why is it that guys just think they can do whatever they want without the consideration of other people?"

"I'm...not following."

I look at Tony and hand the clipboard back to the nurse behind the front desk.

"Nothing. It's nothing."

Tony follows me to the plastic blue waiting chairs and takes a seat beside me.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with being Ryan's chem tutor, would it?"

I cover my face with my hands and sigh heavily. "I knew he told you."

"Actually, Vince told me."

"Vince?" I ask as I spread my fingers to look at him. I remove them from my face and fold them in my lap.

"Yeah, Vince. John told him. Rob told John. Ryan told Rob."

"You know, Nathan thought no one else would know that I'm his tutor. He tried to talk me into asking Mrs. White to tutor someone else."

Tony grips my forearm, hard, and vigorously shakes his head.

"You can't do that. I mean this in the nicest way possible, but you are the freakiest, smartest person I've ever met. Ryan needs you."

"Tony, 'freakiest, smartest person' doesn't even make sense."

He shakes his head and lets go of my arm. "Whatever. Who cares? The point is, you have to follow through with it. Even if it's weird."

"I think it's weirder for me than it is you," I say and sit back in my seat. My muscles feel tense. Sitting in a hospital has always made me nervous. It started when my mom died and hasn't faded since. It's like a parasite no one can get rid of. No cure. No hope. No change.

"I highly doubt that," Tony says, sitting back and crossing his left leg over his right in a four formation. "You're tutoring Ryan Davis, the coolest guy in school, in chemistry. Do you understand how cliche that is?"

"Wow, so you do know big words."

Tony rolls his eyes and shifts in his seat. "Seriously, Gee. You can barely talk to the guy. He's been to our house, what, seven times in the past two weeks? And you can barely say a word to him. You just freeze."

My stomach feels warm. I shake it off and cross my arms. "I do not freeze. I just don't want to talk to him. I mean, he added an extra t in tutoring. And he's mean. If I recall correctly, he called me, and I quote, 'a little nobody.'"

Tony winces and looks at me. It's weird. I think there's genuine regret in his—and it's gone. Typical.

"You heard that?"

"You guys sit right next to me. Despite how hard and often I try, I can't ignore you."

"You can't ignore me? Or you can't ignore Ryan?" He wiggles his eyebrows.

My cheeks flush. I look towards the swinging doors past the waiting area.

"Yeah, right. As if I would be crushing on Ryan Davis."

Tony shrugs. "Every girl does."

"Yeah, just not me. I'd rather die."

Before Tony can respond, a nurse walks out. She wears pastel purple scrubs. Her light brown hair is pulled into a high ponytail, which reveals a series of freckles by her temples. A stethoscope hangs around her neck.

"Gemma Richards?" she asks.

I stand up. "See you in a bit, Tony."

I follow the nurse through the swinging doors. She leads me into a room where a doctor is sitting on a spinny stool.

Today's appointment could easily alter the rest of my life.

---

I walk out of the room and head back down the hall. Tony stands up when he sees me and sets down the National Geographic magazine he was reading.

"So?" he asks.

"I'm okay. They'll get test results back in a few days, but everything seems okay right now. Nothing too out of the ordinary. Besides the obvious."

He nods and picks up his coat. "Cool. Let's head home then.

When we get home, Ryan and Nathan are sitting on the front porch swing, chatting. My stomach does a million flips. Tony seems to notice something.

"Hey, you okay? Do you need me to turn around and take you back to the hospital?"

I shake my head. "No. I'm good. I just..."

"Want them to leave?"

It's an innocent question. And I feel bad. But despite that, I nod. I don't think I can handle either of them.

"Hey," Nathan says when we get out of the car. He stands up and heads toward me. "How was the dentist?"

"Dentist?" Ryan asks, standing up. "I thought you were visiting a friend at the hospital?"

I shoot Tony a look. He whistles and unlocks the door. Ryan seems to brush it off, grateful to have a cool house to walk into. I start to follow them, but Nathan grabs my left wrist and pulls me back.

"Gemma, what's going on? You said you went to the dentist. You never lie."

"Who said I was lying?" I stand my ground. "And who cares what Ryan and Tony say."

Nathan studies me. I'm worried he can tell I'm lying. He's right. I never lie. I was never really good at it. Until I got sick. Then I became a pro.

He nods and finally says, "I know we said tomorrow, but, what about—"

"Sure," I say and lead him inside.

Nathan laughs. "I expected you to say no. You really don't want to see Rayn, do you?"

I lightly slap his arm and lead him upstairs.

"I'll be upstairs with Nathan!"

Crickets. Like, literal crickets. Why do I even try?

"You didn't answer my question," Nathan whispers.

He's too close. My stomach flutters. My skin grows hot. I swear, it could be the stress of the day, the lack of actual food in my body, or... I clear my head, blinking rapidly as if that actually does anything. I can't think about that. How could I even...?

"Gemma?" Nathan asks.

He stops outside of my bedroom door. His light brown eyes search mine. I clear my throat and nod.

"Um, yeah. I'm just...I'm avoiding him." I walk into my room and shut the door behind Nathan. "But I'm also mad at you."

"For what?" Nathan asks and sits on my unmade bed.

The Stitch bedspread doesn't exactly scream "high school senior," but what can I say? Stitch will always have a special place in my heart.

I grab a pink throw pillow from my bed and whack him with it.

"You know why, traitor."

"What did I—" he starts again and I hit him with the pillow for a second time.

"Hey!" Nathan shouts through bouts of laughter. "If you're talking about taking one of your Godiva chocolates from your stash, I'm sorry. You know chocolate is my weakness."

I throw the pillow to the ground and cross my arms over my chest. "You gave Ryan my number, you jerk."

"Oh," Nathan says, grimacing. "Sorry, Gee. He wouldn't leave me alone. I didn't think he would actually text you. The guy shows no initiative."

I dig my phone out of my back pocket and shove the screen into his face.

"Yeah, well he did text me. Thanks."

Nathan squints at the dimly lit screen and rolls his eyes. "He misspelled "tutoring?" Really?"

Despite my anger towards Nathan, I laugh.

"I said the exact same thing to Tony." I sit down on my bed beside him and rest my head on his shoulder. "How did I get mixed up in this?"

Nathan is quiet for a moment.

"Were you really at the dentist, Gemma?"

I look up at him, a mixture of pain and guilt brewing within my chest.

"Gee, be honest. Please."

I sigh and pick at a loose thread in Stitch's ear. After a second, I shake my head.

"No, I was—"

Before I can finish my thought, a loud crash comes from downstairs. The voices of Ryan and Tony carry up the stairs and down the hall. And they do not sound happy.

"Um, I need to check on that."

Saved by the...crash.