When I get back home, I slam the door behind me and rush to the downstairs bathroom. I hold my hand to my mouth, trying to move quickly.

"Gee?" Tony asks. "Hey, Gee, Nath—"

I shut the bathroom door behind me, ignoring the rest of his words. It doesn't take me long before I empty what remains in my stomach into the toilet. I cough as the acid from my stomach burns the inside of my throat, leaving a rancid taste in my mouth.

Ryan and I had only just started going over our chemistry tests when I felt my stomach twist. And while I felt completely mortified that he witnessed me vomiting into a nearby park trashcan, I was thankful he was there to take me home. I also felt really bad for throwing up in his car. I offered to pay for getting it cleaned, but he denied me three times before I finally gave up...and vomited again.

I flush the toilet and lower the lid with a grimace. This has been the fifth time in two weeks. By this point, I'm worried the cancer has spread more. And if it has, chemotherapy is less likely to work.

A knock on the bathroom door pulls me out of my thoughts. I'm about to get up to open it when another wave of nausea hits. I sit back down on the floor. My forehead is slick with sweat.

"Gee?" a voice asks. "Are you okay?"

I don't answer. I'm afraid that if I open my mouth again, I'll be sick. All I can do is nod, but I know it goes unseen.

"I'm coming in."

And true to his word, the doorknob starts to turn and the wooden door slowly opens.

"Tony, I'll be—"

Nathan is standing on the other side of the door. His eyebrows are furrowed together in a sort of v-formation and his honey brown eyes are wide. He wrinkles his nose before walking into the definitely smelly bathroom and kneels in front of me.

"Gee?" he asks, touching the back of his hand to my forehead. "Oh my gosh, Gemma, you're burning up!"

And that's all it takes for the dam to break, for my walls to crumble.

"Nathan," I croak.

And then my stomach rolls. I lift the lid to the toilet and lurch forward, coughing into the bowl. Nathan stands behind me and pulls my hair out of my face, rubbing my back slowly.

"It's okay," he says in a soothing tone. "It's all right."

Tears fall down my cheeks and fall into the toilet, creating ripples in the water as I continue to dry-heave.

My shoulders shake as sobs escape through my chapped lips.

"I've got you, Gee. It's okay. Everything's okay."

I flush the toilet despite there being little-to-nothing there and sit back against the wall. Nathan lets go of my hair and sits beside me. He silently grabs my hand.

At this point, I would probably talk myself into telling him I'm fine.But when he says, "Gee, please tell me what's going on," I crack all over again.

"I'm sick," I say softly. So softly, I almost don't hear it myself.

"You're sick? Is it a stomach bug?" He rubs small circles on the back of my hand with him thumb. Chills run up my spine.

"No," I say, shaking my head. I want to look at him, but I can't bring myself to do it. If I'm ever going to give myself the chance to be honest with him, there can't be any eye contact. But despite my best interest, I look at him anyway.

"I have cancer, Nathan," I say.

I see him process the words. It's slow at first. When it finally computes, his eyes become watery and he looks away. He squeezes my hand. After a few more seconds of silence, I decide to continue.

"Last summer, I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma. It started in my blood. I was doing chemo, but it made me sick—"

His head snaps up to look at me. "So during homecoming last year, you couldn't go because you were sick from chemo?"

I close my eyes and nod. Tears stream down my face. Rough hands cup my face, the thumbs brushing away the beads of water. I open my eyes, finding his honey brown ones staring back at me.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asks.

I swallow. "I didn't want you to see me suffering?" No, that's not right. "I was afraid that if I told you, our friendship would never be the same."

This time he pulls me into a hug and runs a hand down my hair. "I wouldn't have let that happen."

I wrap my arms around him and bury my face into his shoulder. "I know."

The sobs come uncontrollably this time. Not really because of the news, but because of how well he is taking and how stupid I was to think our friendship would change. The truth is, I was scared more for me than I was for him. I was being selfish.

"So you were doing chemo?" he asks, pulling away.

I wipe my face with the back of my hands and nod.

"Yeah, I was doing chemo. And it helped for a bit, even though it made me sick. I thought maybe it was helping, but..."

"But it's not," Nathan finishes for me.

I shake my head. "Two weeks ago, after I left your house..." I look up at him. "After I left your house, I got dizzy and then I realized I couldn't breathe. I think I probably passed out."

"Didn't I see Ryan's car there?" he asks, his eyes glaring.

"Yes, he was there, but he just drove us to the hospital. Tony's car was in the shop."

Nathan opens his mouth. I grab his hand.

"Before you say anything, I didn't want Tony to bug you and it was his call to ask Ryan anyway because I wasn't okay. Alright?"

"Does he know?"

I hesitate for a split second before saying, "No, he doesn't."

I don't feel great about lying to him yet again, but with how Nathan has been acting around Ryan lately, I couldn't risk telling him and making him even more mad. Because, truth be told, he would be livid with me for telling my brother's best friend, who, up until a few weeks ago, I hated with every fiber of my being. And I wouldn't blame him, either. Ryan wasn't even supposed to find out.

Nathan just nods.

"How bad is it?" he finally asks.

I bite my bottom lip and pull my knees to my chest. "It spread to my lungs. And I'm thinking it spread more. I've thrown up maybe five times today? I was tutoring Ryan. We were at the sculpture garden." I look at him. "He brought me home. And then I threw up in his car...twice."

Nathan's mouth twitches before turning into a small smile.

"I'm sure he loved that."

I find myself laughing a bit and shake my head. "He was actually pretty cool about it. He—" I stop, reminding myself he doesn't know. "He thought it was probably a bad case of food poisoning. And I just played it off."

"Are you doing okay now though?" Nathan asks, looking at me. His arm brushes against mine. I feel my already warm cheeks begin to flush.

"Yeah, I think so. At least, the nausea seems to have passed."

He nods and stands up, offering his hand to me. I smile and take it. Nathan pulls me up, brushes the hair out of my face, and smiles.

"Thanks for telling me, Gee. I know it wasn't easy."

My stomach flips. I force a smile and nod.

"No problem."

We walk out of the bathroom and into the living room. Tony is sitting on the couch, flipping through TV channels. He looks up when we walk in and stands up.

"You okay, Gee?" he asks.

I nod. "Yeah, I'm good. Ryan dropped me off and I was already sick..."

He nods. "Maybe we'll talk to Dad about changing your diet again. Try something a little less...likely to make you sick."

"He knows, Tony," I say, nodding towards Nathan, whose hands are shoved into his back pockets.

He leans back on his heels and gives a faint smile.

"I kind of forced it out of her," he says.

"It was time to tell you anyway."

Nathan nods towards Tony. "So just me, you, and your dad know?"

Tony looks at me and nods. "Yeah," he says, his gaze never leaving mine. "Just the three of us. Gemma wants it that way. She has a thing about..." He looks back to Nathan and shrugs. "I don't know, she just doesn't want sympathy looks."

"It's a real thing!" I yell after Nathan coughs out a laugh. I lightly whack him in the arm. "When people find out you have cancer, they look at you differently. And I hate that look."

Nathan lifts his hands in surrender and takes a step back. "Okay." He smiles and reaches over to ruffle my hair.

"When is dad getting back?" I ask Tony.

He looks at the living room DVR. "Uh...he said about 5:30 I think, so in about half an hour."

"It's already five?" Nathan asks. He walks to the navy blue couch and picks up his bag. "I've gotta go. Some guys from my photography class and I are getting together for a project." He starts to walk towards the front hallway and stops, turning to look back at me. "Hey, let me know how everything is going with you, okay? I want to be part of your support system."

I nod. And that's all he needs before walking to the front door and out of the house. When the front door slams shut behind him, Tony turns to me. He rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

"What?" I ask, moving to sit on the couch.

"You told him Ryan didn't know?" he asks aggressively.

It's my turn to roll my eyes. "Have you seen the way they go at each other's throats?"

"That doesn't give you the right to lie to him again."

I stand up, feeling my stomach lurch. "I know. But you didn't hear the things he accused me of today, Tony!" I start to walk to the stairs then stop. "If Nathan found out I told Ryan before him, he would hate me. Because the way he sees it, Ryan is his enemy. And I don't even know why."

"News flash, Gemma!" Tony yells as I start to ascend the stairs. "Your best friend is in love with you. He'll be more than upset when he learns you lied to him."

I stop on the fifth step to the top. Tony can't see me, but that doesn't mean he can't hear me.

"Would everyone stop saying Nathan is in love with me?" It almost comes out as a scream. "He's my best friend. Of course he'll be upset. I just want everyone to flipping get along, okay? I'll make that my dying wish!"

And with that, I walk to my room and slam the door behind me. I don't even make it to my bed before I collapse.

The next morning, I'm out of bed before my alarm clock goes off. I throw on a black t-shirt with Stitch on the front, a pair of gray jeans shorts, and tie my blonde hair into a very messy bun. Just as I'm about to walk into the bathroom to throw on some make-up, my phone goes off. I glance at my screen and my stomach does a small flip.
Hey, Gee, I hope youre feeling better today. Do you think we could talk before school?

I swallow the lump in my throat and shoot back a quick reply. Before I can even put my phone down, he responds.

Great, cuz Im already parked outside your house.

Biting my bottom lip, I decide to put on a light coat of mascara and some blush. Hopefully that will make me look at least a little alive today. I slip on my sand-colored flip-flops and rush down the stairs. When I open the front door, my heart stops. Ryan is standing by his car, arms crossed, as he leans against the vehicle. I just stand there, completely entranced. When he looks up, he smiles. And I melt. Because those freaking dimples...

I shake myself out of whatever hold I'm in and make my way across the lawn. The morning dew makes my uncovered feet feel cold.

"Hey," he says when I'm closer.

I shove my hands into the back pockets of my shorts and smile. "Hey."

"How are you feeling today?" he asks, not breaking eye contact.

I feel myself flush and look down, hoping he doesn't catch my smile. "Um, yeah, I'm doing okay." I sweep my right foot through the grass. "Sorry about your car again. I feel terrible about it."

I look up just in time to see Ryan smile. He shakes his head. "I said it was okay, Gee. You couldn't help it. So don't worry, okay?"

"Ryan, no. I can pay—"

Ryan pushes himself off his car and walks over to me. He brushes some stray hairs behind my ear and smiles. "You aren't going to pay for anything because I won't let you."

All I can do is nod. He smiles again lets his hand brush my cheek before falling back to his side.

"Gemma," he says softly. "I have a confession to make."

I swallow and look up at him. Please don't let it be what I think it is...

He takes a deep breath before brushing his hand up against me. "Gemma, I—"

The sound of the front door creaking open causes me to turn around. Dad walks out of the front door, whistling It's A Small World. Our mom used to sing it to us all the time when we were little. To verify, I got tired of it very quickly. Tony, on the other hand...

Dad turns around and stops on the pathway to his car. "You're up early, Bumble Gee."

When I was five, Dad gave me the nickname Bumble Gee because I was very obsessed with bumble bess. I laughed every time he called me that and told him to say again. Mom loved it too. I think that's why he still calls me it.

"Bumble Gee?" Ryan whispers? I can feel him smile beside me.

I lightly elbow him. He lets out a soft groan and then laughs.

"Hey, Dad. Um, you know Ryan, right?"

Dad walks into the grass and extends his hand to Ryan. "Nice to see you again. Are you here to give Tony homework or something?"

"No, sir," he says. "I just came to check on Gemma."

Dad nods and smiles. "That was very thoughtful of you, Ryan."

"Are you heading to work?" I ask.

Dad turns to me. His green eyes sparkle under the morning sky. "Yeah, they needed me at the station early today. We're training a few people, so all hands on deck today." Dad turns back to Ryan and claps a hand on his shoulder. "We should have you over for dinner one day. You've done a lot to help our Bumble Gee these past few weeks and I know Tony and I are very grateful."

Ryan nods and gives Dad a big smile. "I'm more than happy to help. Good luck training today."

"Thank you." Dad turns to me and kisses me on the forehead. "Have a good day, sweetheart."

Dad starts whistling again and climbs into his car. When he's halfway down the street, Ryan turns back to me and smiles.

"Um—" he starts but is interrupted by the front door again.

"Hey, what are you guys doing?" Tony asks.

"I was, um," Ryan starts, flustered.

"Ryan was just offering a ride to school. Right?" I ask, looking up at him.

He smiles and nods. "Yeah, I was." He looks up at Tony. "If you're up for that."

"You're asking me if I want to get in a car with you instead of drive? You know I do!"

Tony slams the door shut and makes a beeline for Ryan's car. He throws his backpack on the floor by the passenger's seat.

"We'll talk later," I say. "Hey, Tony. I'll be right back! I need to grab my backpack."

I run back into the house and up the stairs to my room. Before grabbing my bag (and making sure I have everything I need), I stop in the bathroom and look at my reflection one last time.

"Hmph," I say and start to mess with my bun. I stand in front of the mirror for at least another five minutes trying to fix my hair and my make-up and deciding on if my Stitch shirt is too childish or not.

And then someone bursts into my room.

"Gemma?" Tony asks. "Gee, are you okay?"

I walk out of the bathroom and stand in front of Tony. His cheeks are flushed and he's out of breath from running up the stairs. Which is probably concerning, since he is on the football team and shouldn't be out of breath that quickly. I stare at him and chew on my bottom lip.

"You didn't come back out and I was worried you were sick again."

"Tony, I think I like Ryan!" I blurt out. "And, uh, I think he likes me too? Or maybe he doesn't. Well, he probably doesn't because, in all honesty, who in their right mind would actually like me? And I know we've been spending a lot of time together, but that's because I'm his tutor. And I feel so flipping cliche for having feelings for the guy I'm tutoring. I mean, am I in a rom-com or something? Just, like a very sad one because I'm basically dying from cancer and I only had my first kiss yesterday! And then I got sick, which was kind of funny and—"

I realize what I had just said and cover my mouth with both hands. I'm pretty sure I gasped, too. Tony just stares at me.

"You didn't hear any of that, okay? I didn't tell you anything. Let's just go. Ryan is waiting for us."

I grab my bag and leave my room, hoping Tony is following behind me.