I rubbed my belly as my little one gave me little nudges. The sun was hitting my face. The Gupta's daffodils across the street were starting to come up, and all the other neighbors on the cul-de sac were starting to watch us from the safety of their porches.

Even though I'd only had my anatomy scan two days ago, Jen and Karly had been working on my pinata for weeks. It was shaped just like the question block from the Mario games. I dropped the results of my anatomy scan off in their mailbox, and they placed either pink or blue confetti inside.

I was wearing a light blue sundress with a sweater over it, since it was still a little chilly. Faye gave me a pink flower pin to put on my sweater, in case it was a girl. I didn't want her to feel disappointed. I knew from day one that I was going to have a little Jaxson.

Mom and Dad made sure the pinata was secured to the big oak tree out front. When taking screen breaks, Jaxson and I loved to play on the blue swing we used to have tied to it. I was already looking up baby swings that we could attach to the tree, so my little boy could enjoy it just as much as we did.

"Look! Someone's coming!" Faye said, pointing to the entrance of our block.

When I first got pregnant, I wanted to have a big Super Mario themed gender reveal with all our family and friends. I looked up so many cute decorations for the inside of the house.

But then a global pandemic happened and we couldn't do that, so we had to do something else. We found these invites online that said, "honk, yell, and wave!" for a drive-by gender reveal. We invited everyone to show up and watch from their cars.

Coming down the street in the bright red pickup truck was Aunt Cathy, Uncle James, and my two teenage cousins, Eric and Eli. The boys were riding in the bed of the truck, waving and blowing into noisemakers. They drove around the circle several times while the neighbors watched.

Next was Hannah in her car, which had pink balloons all over it and streamers coming out of the trunk. Pink writing in her windows said, "I bet it's a girl!" She was followed by Darlene in her Tesla, which was covered in blue balloons and streamers. A sign in her windows said, "No, it's a boy!"

After them was a silver SUV, which was Karly and Jen. They were holding out a hand-painted banner that said, "Baby Mario or Baby Peach?" They shouted and waved as their mom drove around the circle and parked on the other side of the street with everyone else.

"Aster, are you ready?" Mom asked me.

"Uh...yeah," I said, still mesmerized by all the cars.

I thought everyone would just come over in their cars. I didn't think they'd go out of the way to decorate and make banners and all that. I felt so...special. And also, kind of embarrassed because all the neighbors were watching and taking pictures.

"Come on, Aster! Pull the string already!" Faye said, dressed head-to-toe in pink.

"Okay, okay!" I said, running over to the pinata.

Dad put up both of his hands and started counting down with his fingers so everyone could see. I watched his hands. Ten. Nine. Everyone rolled down their windows. Eight. Seven. People started getting their phones out. Six. Five. I smiled for Mom's camera as she took pictures. Four. Three. I took a deep breath. Two. One.

I pulled the string. Nothing happened. I instantly wanted to run and hide. My biggest nightmare was being on one of those YouTube "Gender Reveal Fail" compilations.

"It's okay! Just pull it again," Dad said.

"I'm scared that it'll fall!" I said.

"It won't! It's tied up there real good," he said.

I took another deep breath and pulled a little harder this time. The hatch opened and my vision clouded. I saw nothing.

Nothing but pink.

Faye screamed and rolled around in the grass, which was now dotted with all the pink confetti. My friends and relatives were cheering and clapping from their cars. No. This can't be.

I ran into the house and up to my bedroom, locking the door behind me. I went flat on my bed and just started crying. My phone, which I left on my nightstand, started to buzz. I picked it up and saw Hannah's name on the screen. I started to feel awful. I really owed everyone an explanation, didn't I?

"Hello?" I said, sniffling.

"Oh, Aster! Are you okay, sweetie? We all saw you run inside," she said.

"N-no," I said. "I just like...really wanted a boy because I wanted to always have a part of Jaxson."

"Aww, but you do. It's just that she's a girl."

"But it's not the same. She's not gonna have the same name or look exactly like him or any of that. I feel like now he's really just, gone. Like, gone gone. There's none of him left."

"Aster, he's already been gone. That little one in your belly has always been someone different. No one is just like their parents. We're all our own people. Your little girl may not look exactly like Jaxson or have the same name, but she'll have some of his features, and some of yours, too. You can even still give her a J name."

"Oh, what about Jocelyn or Jacklyn? They both sound similar to Jaxson! Maybe you can do something like that!"

"Yeah. I guess," I said. "Thanks for calling me, Hannah."

"It's what moms and grandmas do. Do you think you want to come downstairs? Everyone left your presents in the driveway."

"Yeah, I'll be right there," I said.

I hung up and awkwardly walked myself downstairs and out the door. Everyone was still outside. From the truck bed, Eric and Eli were covering our mailbox in pink silly string. They loved to pull pranks on Vanessa and I.

Faye was taking handfuls of pink confetti and tossing it up in the air like it was snow. Mom and Dad, both wearing rubber gloves, were spraying diaper boxes with disinfectant and placing them in the garage.

"Hey Faye!" I said. She looked up. "Come here! Baby's kicking again!"

She ran over and put her hands on my little belly. "I feel it!"

"So, do you know who this is?" I asked her.

"Uh...duh. Your baby girl!"

"Well, because she's not a boy, we can't name her Jaxson."

"I think we should go with Faye Junior," she said.

"Not in your life," I said, holding my belly. "Her name...is going to be Jaxlyn. We can call her Jax or even Jaxie if we want."

"Yay! I love her!" Faye said, hugging my growing belly.

"Me too," I said.