My family gathered plates of potato salad and cut-up vegetables. I held the bags of plastic cups, extra buns, and napkins. Faye twirled around in the living room in her dress that had little sparkling American flags on it. I had on a red, white, and blue maternity dress that came up to my knees.

    "Okay, let's move out! I'm starving," Dad said as we walked out the door.

    "That makes two of us," I said, as a burst of humidity hit my face.

It was hot out. Like, insanely hot out. But nothing was going to stop us from enjoying a Fourth of July party, in my parents' book. There was too much 'Murica not to celebrate, hotdogs not to eat, and fireworks not to launch.

    Instead of being sardined into Aunt Cathy's sunroom with everyone else, we were hanging out on Darlene and Hannah's deck. I was sure we'd be several feet apart, and things would be weird and awkward.

    In fact, it already felt that way as we walked across the neighborhood with our masks on. Kids were playing in sprinklers and couples were walking their dogs. Nobody but us had masks on. We had to, because of me. If "anyone got too close."

And I was sure it wouldn't end once Jaxlyn was born. She'd be a baby with a super fragile immune system. I already had the "Please don't touch! Mommy thanks you very much!" button hanging from her carrier. I didn't know why Mom ordered it for me, along with several cute stretchy covers for her carrier, because babies under two weren't supposed to wear masks. Like she was going to let me take Jaxlyn literally anywhere other than for walks around the neighborhood.

I groaned and tried to hide my embarrassment. I was nearly eight months pregnant, hungry, and suffering from what people were calling "pandemic burnout." We were now entering month four of "fourteen days to flatten the curve." Or was it fifteen? I was frustrated and I almost didn't care anymore. I wanted to see Jen and Karly, but with their mom being a nurse at the hospital, I wasn't allowed.

I thought about Vanessa, enjoying herself at her boss's lake house. I wished so badly that she was here with us, or that I could be there with her.

"Hey, there they are! We've got all sorts of stuff cooking!" Darlene said when we came through the gate.

"Can't wait!" I said, trying not to be nervous because she didn't have a mask on. 

We saw the big table that was set up on one side of the deck for us. There was a little cooler in the middle full of ice and drinks. I took out a bottle of lemonade and started chugging. I was a thirsty pregnant girl too. Look out.

Hannah emerged through the sliding door, wearing a mask, thankfully. As for me, I couldn't care less what her and Darlene did. I had all my appointments with Hannah without masks. It was "our little secret." I wasn't worried. All her clients were pregnant people who were being hermits like me.

It was my parents I was worried about. I knew they'd get all antsy of someone not wearing a mask and exposing their precious granddaughter to COVID. They were a lot worse about it, and talked way more about Jaxlyn, in the weeks since Vanessa left.

"I think you two will like this one. I got really creative this year! This is my 'stars and stripes' pasta salad!" Hannah said, setting a big bowl down on the glass table.

I looked in the bowl and saw that the pieces of cheese and pepperoni were cut out to look like stars.

"You're so stinking cute, Hannah!" I said. "This looks amazing."

She handed me the spoon and I started putting heaps of it on my patriotic paper plate. But as I scooped pasta salad and heard those burgers and hot dogs sizzling on the grill, I filled with more and more anxiety.

With both my parents being here, I promised Darlene and Hannah that I'd let them tell Mom and Dad about my home birth. I was way too scared to do it by myself.

I found my eyes wandering back and forth between Hannah and Darlene. When were they going to do it? I took a deep breath, then a bite of my pasta salad. Faye started picking the black olives out of hers and putting them on my plate.

"I also tried my hand at those kabobs I was telling you about!" Hannah said.

"Yes! Can't wait," I said.

We settled in and talked about random things going on, but mostly baby things, like my baby shower. Hannah served us all our food with her mask on, then took her seat at the little table she was sharing with Darlene. After that it got quiet. Too quiet.

"Aster, do you have anything exciting going on?" Hannah asked.

Faye put her fork down and turned her head. Her little hazel eyes narrowed.

"No," I said bluntly, looking down at my plate.

But it was too hard to avoid them. I could feel her and Darlene's eyes on me. There was no escape. They were gonna make me be the one to do it. Yet, I wasn't going down without bringing them with me.

I looked at my parents and said, "Darlene and Hannah want me to tell you that I'd like to have a home birth. Here, with Hannah delivering Jaxlyn." 

Mom gasped. "You are?"

I blinked in utter confusion. It looked like her face was lighting up. Dad's too.

"Huh?" I said. I just couldn't find any other words.

"We were hoping, honestly. I didn't want you or that little baby to be in a hospital filled with COVID. Especially now, after lots of people are going to pick it up from big Fourth of July parties," she said.

"Look at that, kiddo! They're on board!" Darlene said, raising her half-eaten hot dog victoriously in the air.

"You're not worried about complications or anything?" I asked.

"The hospital is ten minutes away. And Hannah knows what she's doing," Dad said. "Honestly, I'm relieved too. We were so worried about you having to go in there with the virus all over the place."

"Did you think we'd feel differently?" Mom asked, taking a bite of her kabob.

"To put it in a single word: yes," I said. "I thought this would be really stressful and awkward and that you guys would hate it."

"You need to do what's best for you, and that's not being in a germy hospital right now," Mom said.

"Are we still doing the tradition of going up to the water tower and hoping we see free fireworks?" Faye asked, completely changing the subject.

"Of course we are!" Dad said.

"Oh...yay," I said.

I thought about watching the big Macy's show on Hannah and Darlene's curved seventy-inch TV, in the AC and with a bowl of ice cream. I really, really loathed the idea of walking up to the water tower in the heat and bugs, but I was going to do it for Faye. I was sure there were going to be tons of things I had to suck up and do for Jaxlyn in the future, so I figured I may as well get used to it now.

As soon as we heard the loud booms followed by a fizzling sound, we put on our masks and started the trek up to the water tower. It was usually a nice walk, but for me, it felt like I was climbing (okay, waddling) up Mount Everest.

By the time we were up there, a few other people were watching. We made sure they were far away from us. There were a few more booms, but we couldn't see anything other than lightning bugs and the mosquitoes that were going to make a feast out of me.

    "Oh, almost!" I said, pointing to a few purple sparkles that were hidden by the tip of a pine tree.

    "Just a little higher!" Faye said. "I wish we could climb up to the top of the water tower. We'd be able to see them so much better!"

    "Not as good as on the TV," I muttered.

    "What did you say?" Faye asked.

    "Look!" I said. Instead of saved by the bell, it was "saved by the silver firework."

    Things were getting into full swing. The fireworks were getting over the tops of the trees now. One even made a heart shape and we all lost our minds. It made me think of Jaxson. He loved fireworks. He told me he wanted them at our wedding when we got married. He was so determined that it was going to happen.

    I suddenly felt an arm over my shoulder. I didn't think much of it, because I was too busy watching the fireworks. But once it started to calm down, I looked over, and the presence of it went away. I assumed it was one of my parents, but they were standing a few feet away. So were Hannah and Darlene. As for Faye, there was no way she could reach my shoulders, even on her tiptoes. I knew there was no one there, and that it was freaky, but I smiled.

    "Happy Fourth of July, Jaxson," I whispered.