Letting out a breath that he didn't know he was holding, Wei Ying felt himself smile, the warm feeling in his stomach growing stronger, like a flame, not unlike the blue ones that scorched, holding steady. Lan Zhan was in shades of blue, he thought. Shades of azure, that soothed and clashed with his own crimson, but only to make things better. They made purple, and Wei Wuxian loved purple, even if it didn't always make sense. Love didn't make sense, and that was okay. But Wangji gave him courage, and he knew he wasn't afraid to fall.

Still smiling, he glanced up away from his phone. As if on cue, a familiar blue car drove up, and Wei Ying swore he saw a flash of gold. He's here.

It'll be okay. Grasping into his phone tightly, Wei Wuxian sat up excitedly, quickly turning the door handle open, and shooting out of the car in a heartbeat. Without thinking, he flung himself forward, just in time for the man stepping out of the car to catch him, holding him flush against his chest. Warm arms wrapped around him, the familiar feeling of soft yarn against his skin warming him. His face found its home buried in the crook of the other man's neck, the familiar sandalwood smile drifting through his senses, soothing him. Lan Zhan. He couldn't really put into words how much he loved it, standing there. How much he loved him, for just existing. For being there, no matter what. For loving him.

They stood like that for a while, neither quite speaking, but they spoke in volumes. Wei Ying could feel Lan Zhan's heartbeat thrumming under his fingers, heart hovering just slightly above where his own was when their chests collided with one another, and somehow that made him feel safe.

Before a choked ahem, rang out from the car, making Wei Wuxian detangle himself slightly from his soulmate, lifting his head up slightly to see a rather red-faced Lan Xichen staring back at them.

"As much as I'm glad for you two lovebirds, we have a meeting to get to," Lan Huan scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, but there was no mistaking the mischievous glint in his eyes, and that small smile. "I think it might be better for me to drive, don't you think?"

Ignoring the blazing heat behind his ears, Wangji nodded, still not letting go of Wei Ying. Quietly, he laced their fingers together, before pulling out of the embrace. Wei Ying nodded in agreement, running back up to the car to make sure it was locked up. Thank goodness, Wei Wuxian thought. Somehow he had remembered to lock up. Wangji glanced at him, a quiet question in his eyes. Are you okay? He mouthed, though there wasn't much need for that. Still, the small gesture made Wei Ying smile. He nodded softly, pulling him back to the car.

Once they were safely inside, Xichen took his place by the steering wheel. Oddly enough, Wei Wuxian found the quiet hum of the engine soothing for the first time in his life, ever since that incident. But maybe it was simply Lan Zhan, sitting next to him, being next to him, that was calming. Words weren't needed between them, after all. Not when their hearts were connected.

So they sat comfortably in the silence, watching the cityscape fading and reforming before their eyes, in odd blocks of white and grey, interspersed with rare blobs of purple and green. And to think just a few years ago this hadn't been a city...No matter how long it'd been, Wangji couldn't help but mourn the loss of the village he'd grown up in, but any traces of the old village, with its stilted wooden houses, had long since been replaced with prisons of concrete, the soft, stunning flowers replaced by harsh bitumen. Any traces of the place he'd loved had faded and yet just being here next to him, Wangji felt like he was home. He'd lost track of the countless romance novels he'd read, the same jumbled lines over and over again, all whispering the same. That home wasn't a place, but a person. Because wherever your heart went, love followed. Wangji had never really believed in it, not really, but that was before him.

But what was stranger was the fact that Wangji couldn't exactly pinpoint a time before him and after him. Wei Wuxian had traipsed into his life so easily, so quickly that Wangji couldn't imagine a life without him, not anymore.

"Young Master Wei," Lan Xichen's voice broke the silence," Do you know what you're going to say?"

Two pairs of eyes glanced back at Wei Ying expectantly, though worriedly. Wei Ying felt warm hands squeeze his palm, a quiet reminder. I'm here, Lan Zhan seemed to whisper, in actions more so than words. I'm here.

Wei Wuxian felt the corners of his lips quirk up despite the growing seed of doubt planted in his stomach, which was slowly being incinerated by Wangji, bit by bit. Quietly, he thought back to the accusations. There was no doubt that Jian Wanyin would try to pin the blame for the accident onto him. Memories of that night came in flashes, flashes of vivid crimson and white. The faint whisper of gargles shouts and drunken tussles, before the world became a swirling abyss, the last thing he held onto was a single word. Remember.

The next time Wei Wuxian woke up, he was in the hospital. Chained to countless machines, the mechanical whirring and relentless drip, drip, drip like acid to his ears. But the memories came in slips, like pieces of an incomplete puzzle. Wei Ying could feel the familiar gnawing of guilt and frustration, not unlike the first time he'd heard of the news.

The boy they'd hit would never walk again. It was a miracle he'd still been alive then, given the impact the car had, given its speed. My fault, he thought, his fingers curling into a fist, nails digging into his palm. It's all my fault.

Guilt came in unabashed waves, crashing over his head one by one. And for a moment, Wei Wuxian imagined he was drowning again, his eyes fluttering shut instinctively. "Wei Ying?" Lan Zhan's voice broke him out of his reverie.

If I hadn't gone clubbing that day... if I hadn't let him drive that day. Then it came.

—

"Stop driving!" He could hear himself yelling, his voice strained as if he was screaming over something. "We're in no state to drive!"

He could hear a familiar scoff, the screeching of tyres pulling at his eardrums. "We can do whatever the heck we want! And who gives a shit, we're rich anyway!"

Wei Wuxian felt his eyes widen, even in his drunken state, at the small figure of a boy walking about 50 metres. "Stop the car! We're going to crash! " He heard himself scream, adrenaline taking over his body, his blurred vision turning clear.

"Stop being so paranoid!" Came the dismissive reply. "It's not like there's anyone here, anyway! And even if there is, we can pay them off!"

Wei Wuxian felt himself internally cringing at the words, rage brewing at the bottom of his stomach. "There IS someone there! This is NOT a toy you can play with, Jiang Cheng! This is someone's LIFE! You should care!"

"Yada-yada-yada," his 'brother' mocked. "It's not like we're actually going to crash-" Instead, he pressed the accelerator, willing them to go faster.

"Who gives a shit if there's someone th-"

But his words were cut off as Wei Wuxian lunged forward, grabbing control of the wheel, and steering it to the far left, in one last desperate attempt to avoid the boy completely.

This time, the last thing he saw was the boy's onyx eyes, widening in horror as the car came hurtling towards him, too quickly and too close for him to run.

—---

"Wei Ying," Lan Zhan's voice came again, softly and soothingly. "Wei Ying, are you okay?"

Wei Ying blinked, unsure of what to do with the revelation. "I-" but any words he wanted to say dissipated the moment they touched his throat, and the only thing he could do was gape. "It-"

He couldn't even say it wasn't his fault, because it was, it still was, but it wasn't his alone. He took a ragged breath, before finally speaking. "I wasn't alone that night," he started. "Jiang Cheng was with me."

Hearing that, Wangji stiffened. "Was he the one to...?" He asked apprehensively.

"That's the thing," Wei Wuxian heaved out, "I'm not sure."

Calmly, he recounted whatever slip of memory he'd had to Wangji, this time to Lan Xichen too. To which, the older man only had to say "I'm not sure, Young Master Wei. From what I can hear, it sounds more like you were trying to save him than anything. But you were also in the car," he swallowed. "I'm not quite sure what the others will think, but no matter what, me and Wangji will be behind you, okay?"

The words felt like a warm hug, a brace before everything else crashed over, but it was comforting nonetheless.

"I know," he answered, "and thank you."

To that, Lan Xichen only smiled. "Between the three of us, Young Master Wei,"

"There's no need for thank you and sorry," Lan Zhan finished for him.

"There's no need for thank you and sorry between family,"

Hearing that, Wei Ying felt his eyes tear up, a gap in his heart filling up quietly. Family. He couldn't remember the last time he'd heard the word spoken to him, said as if it was meant. As if he mattered to them, and Wei Wuxian couldn't even remember the last time the people who pretended they were his family actually cared for him.

He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing seemed to come out, despite the iceberg of emotions within him.

"I-I don't know what to say," he croaked out, certain his eyes were lined in red by now.

"Then don't," Wangji said simply. "Just feel."

"We'll be here when you need it."

And the floodgates opened. 

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A/N: 1701 words! Finally done with this update! tanyadwdl. Here's the update! So sorry it took so long, I've been really swamped with school and everything- I hope you've enjoyed reading it! ❤️ thank you so much for waiting! ❤️