“At first I was just enjoying the playlist, you know?” she begins and then takes another sip of her tea. I watch her carefully, delighting myself with the view of her.

I know my flat is messy and I wish I had prepared better to receive her here. I really didn’t plan this part, but I’m happy that it actually happened. I like how things have flown between us, leading from one topic to the other effortlessly. And I love the view of her in my flat, in my home, drinking tea with me, sharing such a cosy moment here.

For a few seconds I let my mind wander and dream of a future I can’t be certain of. A future in which she is a constant element. Where I can see her all the time, where she visits me here and we spend hours together, just talking as we drink cup after cup of tea. Laughing, sharing views and opinions that challenge us and at the same time let us know each other better. I imagine myself reaching out for her hand without an excuse, just because I want to and I can take her hand. In my fantasy I’m allowed to lace our fingers together and play with her thumb. In my fantasy, I pull her closer as I lean forward over the table until I can kiss her and that is totally fine. In my fantasy, Maca is with me.

The dream is so sweet and leaves me all warm inside; it does a better job than this tea I’m drinking.

“So I was so into listening that I think I missed quite a part of the performance,” she continues and her voice draws me back to reality and the present, in which we are just strangers getting to know each other, meeting for the first time after such a long wait.

“From which part did you start paying attention?” I ask, as I know exactly what they rehearsed I know what she was supposed to see.

“Well, there was only one clown and I know the scene starts with two. Shortly, Hamlet appears,” she tells me and I nod.

“You probably only missed a few lines. They didn’t prepare the whole scene with the two clowns,” I reassure her and she sighs, a smile still tugging at the corner of her lips.

“That’s fortunate. I didn’t want to miss a thing. It was so…” she struggles trying to find the right word but then she just sighs again and just says, “extraordinary.” 

I smile.

“If you had missed more I’d call them and make them perform it again right now!” I state matter-of-factly when in real life I wouldn’t do that. I’ve imposed on my friends too much already, I can’t just call them at midnight and expect them to run here just to help me lure a girl.

Not that I’m luring Maca.

She laughs out loud because she clearly doesn’t believe me I could do that. I wouldn’t… or I think I wouldn’t, I would remember I shouldn’t do it and stop myself, although a big part of me only wants to impress her even if it means abusing of my friends. But no, I’ve done that already. If I really want to impress her then I have to do it on my own, without needing someone else’s assistance.

“How did you even convince them to do that? I mean, they were wearing costumes and everything. Surely it wasn’t easy,” she inquires and I bite my lower lip.

“It required a lot of begging but by that point I stopped offering organs,” I confess and she looks at me with a puzzled expression before she giggles.

“Because you ran out of organs to offer, I presume,” she jokes along and the smile on my lips widens.

“Not exactly. It was more about saving my ego, you know? Everyone kept rejecting my organs so I didn’t want them to feel like they weren’t enough to tempt people,” I continue and she seems to be fighting her laughter.

“I’m sorry for breaking it to you, but they clearly weren’t enough to tempt people.” I look down, pretending to be hurt by her words but not really trying. She does something amazing, though, and she probably does it to follow the game, but it is incredible nonetheless and it makes my heart race. She leans forward and takes my hand in hers, comforting me. “I’m sorry, but it’s the truth. You better hear it now instead of living in deception forever.”

“Why aren’t they good enough?” I continue, taking advantage of the situation and holding on to her, looking at her as if she had all the answers in the world.

“I think it’s because you’re too sweet. All that sugar and cream can’t be good and people know that, so they refuse to accept your organs,” she explains and I have to bite my lips to fight the chuckles. “It’s okay, you better keep your organs so you don’t have to die. That would be sad.”

“Well, if I die my friends wouldn’t have someone to nag them and annoy them so maybe it wouldn’t be a tragedy,” I say offhandedly, shrugging and with a little smile, but Maca loses all her amusement.

“Don’t say that, don't even joke about it. It would be horrible if you die. You, out of all people, can’t die,” she says, her voice strangled and sharp. Even her hold on my hand gets tighter. “Don’t say that.”

“Okay, I won’t. I’m sorry. I’ll never joke about that again,” I hurry to say, leaning forward, closer to her, really meaning my words. “I’m sorry,” I repeat covering her hands with my free one and then taking them to my lips to kiss her knuckles. 

“The world need more people like you, H,” she says and I know she’s being completely honest. I hear the emotion in her words. “People who do so much for virtual strangers. People who actually take the time to leave notes to cheer up others are scarce and we need more of them. More of you. This place would be better, more beautiful and merrier.”

I don’t know what to say to those words. I really don’t know how to reply because if I tell her she’s exaggerating, then I feel like I’m belittling her words and just shrugging off her compliment. But how do I even thank her for saying such a sweet thing? What can I say or do to reply to those words?

I kiss her knuckles again. I can’t come up with anything better than that.

“So no more offering organs, sir. Did you hear me? You must stay alive,” she orders and I smile again, but I keep our hands closer.

“No more offering my organs to convince people,” I agree taking one of her hands away and then pressing her palm to my cheek. 

It’s warm and small and it feels so soft against my skin. I feel my heart racing even more and I try to lean closer in her hand, closing my eyes just enjoying the moment. Then I feel her other hand cupping my other cheek and in that moment I open my eyes to see her watching me with a look that makes my heart race even more and my stomach flip.

Even if this table is small, it’s still between us and I swear right now, as I stare into her brown eyes, I want to flip this table over and just grab her in my arms. It’s so hard to control myself when she’s cupping my face and she’s so close but not enough.

What would she do if I kiss her right now? If I just climb on to this table and reach for her? Would she slap me? Run away? Hate me? I’ve stopped myself so far, even if I’m dying to kiss her. But she’s touching me ever so lightly and I can barely breathe. I don’t know if I can keep doing this.

I look more intently in her eyes, hoping to find there an answer or invitation that would let me know it’s okay if I kiss her, but my head is clouded and I can’t think rationally.

I lean in closer, just a little bit, testing, seeing how she reacts and I think my heart skips a beat when she leans closer, too. Her cheeks are blushed and her breathing is laboured, but she gets closer. That means something! That has to be invitation enough to kiss her, to finally kiss her.

Oh screw this!

I lean even more, standing from my chair and just deciding I’m going to kiss her over this table and then I don’t know what’s going to happen. But silly, clumsy me forgets we’re drinking tea. When I move, reaching out for her, I hit the mug with still hot tea, spilling it all over the table, startling not only Maca but also me. And then some tea reaches my trousers and I jump, hitting the table and making Maca’s mug spill all over her. She screams and jumps back, grabbing the dress and trying to keep it from touching her skin.

I look at the chaos I’ve caused for three seconds before I rush to her, forgetting about my leg and just making sure she’s all right. I’ll deal with the fact that I’ve ruined the perfect moment later.

“Are you okay? Oh my God, I’m so sorry, Maca. I’m truly, deeply sorry,” I cry, not knowing what to do with my hands, how to help her.

“It’s okay, H. Don’t worry. It happens to me all the time,” she says but that doesn’t make it better. I spilt tea all over her. “I’m more concerned about Grace’s dress. This’ll stain,” she adds as I turn, looking for some cloth or towel to clean her up.

“That’s the least important thing. That you’re okay matters the most,” I state, finding a cloth and I press it against the fabric of the dress, drying the excess. “I’m so sorry,” I keep mumbling, mortified.

“H, it’s fine,” she stops me, grabbing my hands. I look up, meeting her eyes and letting her reassuring smile ease my anxiety away. “I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve burnt myself with tea, this is normal for me.”

“Yeah, but this time it was me burning you with tea,” I say and I want to bang my head against the brick wall just to punish me for being a klutz. “I’m sorry.”

She just laughs and then grabs my face in her hands, pulling me upwards so I stand straight in front of her. She keeps smiling as she then uses her thumb to smooth the frown in my brow.

“I’m fine, the dress not so much. I’ll guess I’ll have to go and take care of this immediately,” she says and I panic. No. She can’t go yet. I can’t let her go like this.

“We can wash it here,” I blurt out and now she’s frowning. “I have a washing machine so you can change and we’ll wash that immediately. That way it won’t be that hard to take out the stain. I’ll lend you something,” I continue and she blinks up, stepping back and dropping her hands. I want to take them again and keep them on my face, but after what I’ve done, I just let her put some space between us. “Please, don’t leave yet,” I beg and her expression is hard to read. I know mine must be of sheer desperation. “Not after what I did. Please, I’ll feel so bad if you leave like this.”

I breathe hard, scared that she’ll turn me down and just leave. I tell myself that if she really wants to go and never see me again, then it’ll be okay. I’ll have to accept her. I can’t keep her here. I told her she could leave whenever she wanted.

“Okay,” she says next and my eyes widen in disbelief. 

“R-r-really?” I stutter like an idiot and she giggles. 

“Yeah, it’s better to take this stain now. So, what can you lend me to wear in the meantime?” she asks and I take five seconds to recover before running to my room to find some jumper for her. 

I grab the warmest and comfiest of them all, which also is pretty long. It’s a knitted one with a bowtie design on the collar. I think she’ll like this and she’ll be comfortable in it. I also grab some sweatpants she can wear and run back inside. She’s wiping the stain of tea on the dress and I push the mortification to the back of my mind. She needs to change now.

“Here, wear this in the meantime,” I say as I hand her the clothes and she smiles sweetly at me.

She nods and then walks into the bathroom. As I wait, I look for the stain remover and washing powder to put with that dress inside the washing machine. When the door opens again and she comes out, I can’t breathe, I can only stare at her, in my jumper that reachers her mid thighs and makes her look so small and cute and literally breath-taking. I realise too late that I’ve been staring because she just blushes deeply and looks so uncomfortable. The sleeves are so long and I can’t even see her hands when she tries to cover her mouth.

“The tights were spared so I didn’t need the sweatpants. And here’s the dress,” she says, walking up to me in the kitchen where I also have the washing machine.

I take it with trembling hands and a dry throat. “I-I have this… this… this thing. It helps with the… um, stains. I also get many of those so… yeah, this helps,” I ramble and she chuckles. “It’ll be okay, you’ll see.”

“I trust you,” she says and then adds, “I’ll go clean up the table and floor. Should I prepare more tea? We barely drank ours.”

“S-sure,” I reply before she smiles again and turns around, to go where the accident happened.

I shake my head and decide to focus on the dress. I need to calm down, deal with this problem in my hands —literally— and then I can join her and deal with the emotional trauma and the fact that she looks too good in my jumper and I don’t know if I’ll be able to concentrate again.

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Hello! I'm so sorry for not upadting before. I'll start working on the following chapter immediately. Last week I got caught up writing my newest projects (It's Just Ann and Unseen. Go read them!) and rereading Pride and Prejudice so yeah, I didn't even remember writing Happenstance. I hope this long chapter made it up to you all. Maca sent me loads of fire on iMessage after she read it. Teehee

Shout out to the best comment on the previous chapter: @KeiraHarry

Bel, xx