She turns around ever so slowly, like in slow motion. Or maybe I perceive it like that because it seems like time has frozen. Her hair keeps moving due to the wind, auburn strands wiping her hair as she fights to put them behind her ear.

And we’re finally face to face. Her eyes are brown like chocolate, big and sparkly, but also very nervous and a bit frightened. Dark bags under her eyes show me she’s exhausted, but they don’t diminish her beauty in the slightest. Her cheeks are blushed and they stand out because she’s very pale, so do her lips, which are very red. This is it, this is what I’ve wanted to see for five months. She’s here and I think I’m going to burst out laughing.

"You're finally here…" I repeat like an idiot, my voice crackling because I’m so excited and nervous at the same time. "I can't believe you're finally here," I laugh, not able to hold myself back any longer.

And then she smiles, honestly, sweetly, warmly and my heart skips a beat because I can finally see the smile I’ve tried to keep on showing for five months. The smile I was dying to see. "Hello, I'm Macarena Maslany. It's a pleasure to finally meet you," she says and I take a deep breath as she holds up her hand to me. I look at it, not quite believing this is really happening before my own smile widens when I take her hand. It’s cold and so small in mine.

"I knew your smile was precious," I mumble like an idiot, my heart racing when I squeeze her hand, feeling like every nerve ending comes alive. "I've been waiting for you for so long, Maca. I'm so happy to finally see you. I'm Harold Reid," I finally introduce myself. I haven’t waited just today, I’ve been waiting since her first reply and she’s finally here.

Her smile widens, even more precious and I know I shouldn’t do this, that I will frighten her, but I can’t control myself. Happiness is getting me high and even if I’m holding her hand, I can’t believe this is really happening, so I pull her towards me until her body crashes against mine. My arms find their way around her instinctively, hugging her tight as I bury my nose in her auburn hair and whisper, “You’re here.”

"I'm here," she confirms, hugging me back and I don’t think my own heart can take this. "I'm here," she repeats and chuckles escape my lips.

I can’t believe this moment has come, that I broke through the post-its wall and now I’m holding her. I know what she looks like and she’s more beautiful than I could’ve imagined, and I don’t care if I’m biased because I would think she’s beautiful no matter what she looks like. She was beautiful to me before I even saw her.

She’s short and slim, but soft and warm in my arms. She fits so well there and I can’t believe she’s hugging me back. I can’t believe this is happening. And I wish this moment would never end, but I know I have to release her if I ever expect to talk to her.

Oh God, there’s so much I want to ask her!

I pull back reluctantly, my hands now on her shoulders because a part of me is afraid that if I let her go she’ll disappear and I’ll wake up because I fell asleep when I was listening to the playlist. That would be very cruel.

But I don’t know what to say or where to start. I can only look at her not able to wipe the creepy smile out of my face. I must look like a complete lunatic right now, but I can’t control myself. Then she looks down, not saying anything either, her cheeks blushing brightly and I bite my bottom lip because she looks so cute and I want to hug her again.

“If… if…” I start but choke on my own words. She giggles softly and I squeeze her arms a bit tighter. “If I say ‘you’re here’ again, will you think I’m mental?” I question and she laughs out loud, cute and sweet.

“No, I wouldn’t,” she replies and I sigh very relieved.

“Good, because that’s all what seems to be in my mind now.” That and how cute you are, I add in my head but I won’t say that out loud. “Jesus, I don’t even know where to begin,” I confess and now I see her sighing.

“I don’t either,” she states as I start stroking her arms with my thumbs. Yes, I’m still holding her.

“I planned all this day as a backup to start a conversation but my brain doesn’t wanna cooperate,” I continue, making her giggle again but I think it’s because she’s nervous, not because I’m being particularly funny. In fact, I think I’m being pathetic. “But I didn’t do it just for that!” I hurry to add because I don’t want her to misunderstand. “Please, don’t believe that I—”

“H, I know,” she cuts me off with a warm tone and a small smile, and I just blink at the way she called me. “I read your letters.”

“You called me H,” I mutter, still blinking quickly. “Is that how you’ve called me all this time?”

She blushes again, looking down. “I um, just today. Before that I just… I just called you m-m-my stranger,” she confesses and I swear to God my heart does a flip-flop for the possessive pronoun she’s just used. “I’ll try to call you Reid, don’t worry. I’ll just—”

“I like it,” I interrupt her, trying to reassure her. “I like that you call me H. No one else does that.”

“So you don’t mind if I keep calling you that?” she questions and I shake my head. “Good, because I got used to it already.” She laughs, relived and I can’t help the smile.

“Would you like to sit?” I question, remembering my manners. So I have to let go of her to point the swing. “Or maybe you’re hungry and want to eat.”

“I ate something at Saint Clair, with your sister,” she tells me shaking her head and I nod.

“She didn’t say anything embarrassing, did she?” I inquire, a bit scared that my sister humiliated me in front of Maca.

Chuckling, she replies, “No. She said only nice things about you. Everyone said nice things about you.” I sigh and then take my hand to the small of her back and guide her to the swing.

Does it sound creepy if I accept I don’t want to break the contact with her at any moment?

She sits and I do the same, close to her but not too close. I don’t want to make her uncomfortable.  Then we’re in silence again and I don’t know what to say. She starts fidgeting with her fingers on her lap and I want to groan. This is what I wanted to avoid. I need to do something about it! Everything else has worked out; I can’t ruin it now.

“I-I guess I should start by apologising,” I try and her head snaps in my direction, confusion written in her expression. “For not telling you my name even though you did share yours.”

“It’s okay,” she reassures me. “I mean, I was a bit disappointed then but I’m glad now. It helped to make this day happen and H, I’m very grateful for what you did. All what happened today was amazing.” She stops and looks at me seriously but the smile remains on her lips. “Thank you so much, H. The post-its, this day. Everything. You can’t imagine how much you’ve helped me.”

I feel a lump in my throat when I hear her because even if she’s smiling and I know she’s grateful, I see so much sadness in her eyes, so much sorrow and I just want to hug her again, shield her from whatever darkness haunts her. Instead, I swallow the lump and smile.

“It’s been my pleasure, Maca,” I assure her and her smile trembles a bit.

“Can I ask you a question?” she inquires and I nod. I’m grateful she’s capable of thinking of questions to ask, because my brain is still on strike or something for it doesn’t want to cooperate. “Why didn’t you tell me your name before?”

I sigh. I knew this would come and I would have to accept out loud my cowardice, I just wished it wasn’t the first thing I would tell her. I want to make a good impression, after all.

“To be completely honest,” I begin, avoiding her eyes and focusing on the fabric of my trousers. “I was afraid.” She doesn’t say anything back so I look at her and I see her furrowing her eyebrows. An embarrassed chuckle escapes my lips as I feel my cheeks burning. “I was scared that if you knew I was a guy you’d feel crept out and stop answering. I thought you would think I was some psycho or even a pedo and just cut ties with me. I was really terrified you’d do that so I didn’t want to confirm my gender. Sorry again.”

She shakes her head to dismiss my words, a small smile on her lips. I notice she also has dimples like I do and one is deeper than the other, which is even cuter in my opinion.

“It’s fine, H. I think… I think I understand. I always considered you a guy, though. Your writing gave you away,” she continues and I laugh at myself.

“Yeah, I figured you could suspect I was a guy but I didn’t want to confirm it. I didn’t want to risk it, that’s all.” She presses her lips together as if she were fighting the smile but this one wins and shows up nonetheless.

“I would’ve never stop replying, no matter what,” is her confession. “I was too… addicted? No, that’s not the word. I don’t know, but your post-its were like part of my day so I didn’t care if you were a guy, or a girl, or even an alien! Your words were what mattered to me.”

I look down again, aware that my fears were groundless but that’s the truth. In this society one must be careful, you can’t trust anyone and I didn’t want to scare her off.

“I don’t know how you did it, but your post-its were always on spot. It was like you knew what I needed to hear the most,” she laughs at the end of that statement, amused and a bit baffled.

“I just wrote what I felt you needed to hear. I just wanted to cheer you up. I started those post-its because I wanted to make people smile.”

“You made me smile,” she says and cue to her words she rewards me with one wide and adorable smile that makes my guts twist. “You make me smile.”

I feel like I’ve won at life. Yes, at that level. This is all what I’ve wanted, this confirmation that my words have reached her and helped her. It doesn’t matter if my other post-its never reached anyone else, they reached her and worked. They made her smile when she was sad, when she had a bad day and no matter what happens after this moment, I did what I wanted and I can rest at ease now.

“I don’t know if one day I’ll be able to play you back for all what you’ve done for me,” she mutters next, looking down at lap and her hands there, not fidgeting this time.

“You don’t have to do anything, Maca. For as long as I see you smiling, I feel paid off!” I say with the lightest tone I have and she smiles sweetly, making my heart race because she’s even more beautiful when she smiles and that reaches her eyes, I can see it. I see light overpowering darkness there.

“You’re one of a kind, did you know that?” she questions and I know she means it as a compliment, I can even feel admiration in her voice.

“Grace says it’s her fault, she broke me because she used to drop me quite often when I was a baby so something broke inside and now I’m a weirdo,” I joke and she laughs out loud.

“Then I should ask Grace, then. For dropping you,” she laughs at her own words and I wish she wouldn’t stop laughing. “Because weird as you might be, you just gave me the best day of my life.”

“I’m relieved it worked, to be honest! And that you followed the game. I was afraid you wouldn’t feel it was worth the trouble.”

“Oh, it was so worth it!” she hurries to reply and my smile widens.

“Then, why don’t you show me the pictures and tell me what you felt and what was your favourite stop? I’m dying to know!”

-:-:-

Well that was fast! I won't give you a goal this time (although I have chapter 13 ready) because I travel tomorrow and I won't take Wolf (my laptop) with me hence I won't be able to update. When I come back, (Thursday) I'll post the next chapter so be patient.

Bel, xx

PS: Picture of Maca in case you forgot how she looks like.