L

"We're on a break," Louis stated matter of factly, though his tense face exposed how he really felt. His friends stopped talking and looked over to where Louis stood, arms crossing across his chest protectively, staring at them and waiting for a reaction. He'd caught up with them before lunch, needing to expel the information like spitting out bad tasting gum.

"For how long?" Liam asked at the same time as Lexie sighed out, "I'm sorry Louis."

"In two weeks we're 'reassessing', his words. No contact at all. He just pulled me into his classroom to talk today... I don't care it's fine," Louis waved his hand in the air as if batting away his worries. "We're not even dating."

Lexie pulled him in for a tight hug, clearly not believing that he wasn't upset. He relaxed into it and allowed himself to be vulnerable, no longer fighting his urge to frown, to let his eyes blur with a few stray, frustrated tears. She gave him a squeeze as he let go and rubbed a hand over his face.

"You'll be okay, Louis," she said gently. "No matter what happens, you have us." Liam nodded in agreement.

"Should we do a trust fall or something?" Louis joked, trying to lighten the moment.

"No, Lexie would find a way to injure us all," Liam pointed out.

"He isn't wrong," she replied.

-

Of all things Louis expected to feel upon entering Chemistry class that day, the sudden flushing of heat spreading from his face to his ears and the urge to hide or disappear was not one of them. He looked anywhere but at his teacher, who was engrossed in something while at his desk. Louis quickly made it to his seat, forcing a smile for Riley and Evan as they cheerfully greeted him.

"Hey, Lou? Can I tell you something?" Evan asked quietly as the boy neatly set his pen and highlighter next to his notebook.

"Yeah?" Louis glanced up, noting the way Evan had a hesitant smile, his eyebrows raised and mouth tense like when you watch someone open a gift and wait to see if they like it. Louis turned in his chair to give his full attention, mirroring the way Evan's feet were pointing toward Louis.

"I, uh well." He paused and when he spoke again he was much louder and confident, causing several people to look towards the pair. "I wanted to tell you I'm coming out as demisexual. I've been questioning for at least a year and when I came across a list of sexualities on Tumblr the label just clicked. I've never been able to have an attraction to someone until I know them, have a bond. It's such a relief to realize why I'm not like most people. And I have you to thank for giving me the courage to do this." Louis' face broke out in a genuine grin and Evan's hesitant smile matched his. Louis reached out to give Evan a tight hug, rubbing his shoulder a bit too.

"No, thank you," Louis said, clearing his tightening throat. "I've been having a hard time with my mom accepting me and it makes me worry about telling the rest of my family..." He pulled back from the hug to see Evan's brows drawn together in concern.

"Just hang in there, it will get better." Louis nodded, turning to face forward in his seat and wiping a hand down his face. Mr. Styles looked at the pair impassively, his face betraying not a single emotion. Louis would have given anything to know what the man was thinking at that exact moment.

"What does that even mean? That can't be real," Ash-fucking-ley bit out from where she'd been banished by the door. A few gasps and shaking heads responded - Evan was kind and well liked, and Ashley was alone in her derision.

"It means he could never like you," Riley called out, "and it's more real than your hair color sis!" The entire class burst out into laughter and howls, some students pointing at Ashley, who had abruptly turned to face forward in her seat.

Luckily for Ashley, their teacher hadn't noticed her remark as he was muttering to himself as he shuffled a few packets into a neat pile to hand out. He surveyed the room curiously, then stood and waved his hand for them to quiet down.

"Settle down, class is starting now," he commanded, his deep voice projecting to every corner and stirring something familiar in Louis' gut.

He didn't look Louis' way again for the rest of class, not even as he slid two packets onto their table, his gaze elsewhere.

-

Louis took his time on his drive home, music turned up to some upbeat song and singing loudly to drown out any thoughts as he unwound. He parked in the driveway, looking at the car keys in his hand, sitting in silence for a moment.

"Oh shit," he muttered, taking the new house key from Mr. Styles off of the lanyard. It was a long shot but he didn't want to deal with his mom noticing and asking what it was for. He pocketed the key, then did something that physically pained him.

He opened his text conversations with Mr. Styles, then deleted them all. His heart beat impossibly fast as he did it, it felt like when you're on a roller coaster about to release you down the first steep drop. But he didn't have a choice after he'd noticed his mother making a few failed attempts to guess his passcode before giving up.

Mr. Styles

It felt odd to leave as soon as the school day had ended, no anticipation of staying behind with Louis. He hesitated as if he'd forgotten his wallet or planner, something he needed before going home. The man started towards his desk, not sure what he was searching for, then stopped, shook his head and left.

Marcel was stopping by on his way home later, so Harry tidied his fairly clean house. Once started he hyperfocused on each task, even cleaning unnecessary rooms like his bedroom and the basement. He paused when he came across the first possession left behind by Louis, a stray pair of panties under his bed. He threw them in his hamper and moved on.

Harry washed the slight coating of dust from his hands after he'd finished sweeping, checking his phone when it buzzed with a heads up text from Marcel; he'd be there in fifteen minutes.

-

"Lovely, lovely home, Harry, really." The cheery, fresh faced man said as he looked around the foyer. Harry smiled, he hadn't seen any family in awhile and he'd kind of needed this. He'd always thought it a little funny how his cousin looked like a more innocent, even nerdier version of himself. They'd been asked if they were twins when they were younger and Marcel still lived in England. He didn't blame them.

"Thanks, Marcel. Need anything? I'm sure it was quite the drive to get here."

"Water, no ice please." The man removed his plaid jacket with the stereotypical elbow patches that academics often have and draped it over the back of a chair, following Harry into the kitchen. "It's not too bad, you'd probably loathe it though. Traffic can be stand still. I like to listen to audiobooks while I drive. Just finished Dracula."

"You would listen to Dracula for fun while sitting in boring traffic," Harry teased, filling the water glass and handing it to Marcel, whose face was screwed up in mock outrage. Harry gestured for Marcel to follow him to the living room, and they got comfortable on the couch.

"It's a classic!" Marcel exclaimed, laughing with the man anyways. "So," he sipped his water. " How do you like it here?"

Harry smiled a little, ducking his head before answering. "It's nice... good people. Everyone's been very... welcoming. I've made a few friends, some acquaintances. The gym teacher, Niall, showed up at my door on the first day and invited me out for drinks." Marcel smiled happily in response. Why is he always so happy? No one's sober and that happy.

"That's great! I'm glad you're settling in."

"Me too," he replied simply. Marcel knew how badly Harry had wanted to flee from the place that no longer felt like his home. Just wrong and stifling. He'd been the one who suggested the area to Harry during a venting phone call, replying to the man's restlessness with an invitation to move to the US, specifically near him. He'd believed that a drastic change of environment in a peaceful place would do him good, and he needed a friendly face nearby to check in.

Marcel studied Harry for a moment before commenting thoughtfully, "The American life seems to suit you... you seem, happier? But," he frowned, his large glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose before he pushed them back into place. "Have you found someone? You were talking for awhile about 'expanding your horizons' and 'enjoying your newfound freedom', googling dating sites and then last we spoke you brushed the topic right off." He finished and sipped his water casually. "Perhaps that gym teacher 'friend'?"

Harry rolled his eyes. "It isn't like that, we're just friends. And I am happier, but let's just say... it's complicated," the man admitted. "It's not easy." A beat of silence followed.

"Is it ever?" Marcel laughed dryly and Harry shrugged. "So tell me more about this student, I'm intrigued as to why you recommend him. You're not usually so quick to make judgements, what's it been, a few weeks?"

"It has, but it was obvious from day one that he was very driven, smart, and just needed a little help with all this," Harry gestured to the neatly bundled envelopes containing the two letters of recommendation and application. "And he was hoping to try out for your soccer team as well, seemed like he'd be a good fit. Figured you could do me a favor and consider him?" Marcel was nodding along as he listened.

"Fair enough then, Haz! I'll look it over and be in touch with him." Marcel took them from the man, putting them safely in his briefcase. "Anyways, how's the new job going?"

"Pretty well, the semester is almost over actually. They haven't mentioned if their usual teacher is coming back, but I've been sending my resumè out to other places. So, we'll see." Harry clenched his clasped hands slightly for a moment, revealing the soft whites of his knuckles.

"Shouldn't put all your eggs in one basket anyways!" Marcel commented.

"No you shouldn't," Harry agreed, frowning a little.

L

Louis outright scowled at his friends, crossing his arms and tapping his white tom on the tile. He usually loved Fridays. He looked forward to whatever shenanigans he and his friends would get up to, plus the recent sexscapades he'd partaken in with Mr. Styles. But today, four days into his grounding, and his 'break', he had nothing but contempt for it being Friday as he listened to Lexie and Liam talk about the success of their shopping trip last night.

"You guys went to the mall without me? To a sale with coupons?"

"Hey you're the one who's grounded, not me," Liam replied. "And if I waited until you weren't on lockdown we wouldn't have been able to use them. I got some good stuff though. If you're nice I'll let you borrow something. Zayn helped me with the... fit of the outfit I was trying on, if you know what I-"

Louis groaned dramatically. "Literally can you two calm down? Doing it where he works. Tsk, tsk, Liam." Liam and Lexie exchanged glances before they burst out laughing, as if in on some secret joke. Liam pointed at Louis, quieting down to explain.

"That is the most hypocritical thing I've ever heard you say. Up until a few days ago you were like, christening every surface of this school with a certain 'man companion.'"

"'Man companion' wasn't funny the first time, and it's even more ridiculous the second time."

"What shall we call him then?" Liam continued to tease. "Your man crush monday?"

"So Lexie," Louis said, ignoring Liam's antics. "How's your torrid love affair with the blonde bombshell going?"

"Hmm, still waiting for him to acknowledge the undeniable chemistry between us, I just have to lay in wait, like a cheetah stalking its snack."

"You're not like a cheetah, you run like a seagull or something. Your little feet move really fast but you're slow. And you'd probably trip on a rock right before you grabbed him, or something."

"I'm cuter than a seagull," Lexie laughed and gently smacked at Louis' arm.

He had put a little more effort into his appearance today, after Liam informed him yesterday that he smelled awfully spicy and just because Mr. Styles didn't have to smell him didn't mean he should boycott soap.

Louis was still anxious about the break but Liam had a point. Before Mr. Styles entered his life, Louis had primped simply for himself and to feel good. He'd gotten up with his first alarm that morning and done an indulgent self care routine. It felt nice to take pride in his appearance, even if he was the only one appreciating his smooth, moisturized legs.

-

"How are the themes of love and longing in Anne Bradstreet's poems still relevant today?" Louis scanned down the page where they'd left off in his English Literature textbook and scoffed at first to be reminded of the melodramatic phrasing of the romantic verses, comparing her husband's departure with arrival of winter and a coldness in her heart, lamenting that the sun had been taken from her sky and it wouldn't be summer again until he returned. The universe hates me. The gay gods are smiting me with this sappy, hetero poetry.

Sappy though it may be, Louis' eyes were feeling suspiciously misty at the passionate lines. It was kind of weird to think that this woman's words were so relatable, decades upon decades later.

Louis stopped staring at nothing, attention snapping to his teacher, and raised his hand to answer her question. He was called upon.

"Well, love is a pretty timeless thing. And everyone has experienced missing someone, sometimes to the point of the absence consuming you and becoming..." Louis glanced down to the page for reference, "like she said, 'as important as the sun in your sky." Sometimes you can miss someone even when they're right in front of you, too, and it makes no sense at all.

"Well said, Louis. Now keep in mind as you write your response paper due next class-" The boy looked out the window to the sun, barely visible in a clouded, grey sky. Was he as obsessed with Mr. Styles as Bradstreet was with her husband? Maybe. He didn't know. He subtly flipped off the clouds that blocked what could have been a lovely day and took a deep breath, glancing at the clock. Twenty minutes left of class, then his day was half over. Everything felt harder to do than usual, though he'd adjusted a little to the sudden one eighty his life seemed to have taken. He decided he was far too young and pretty to be this stressed about a love he wasn't sure was requited.

Stupid sun. Stupid clouds.

-

Saturday morning was unseasonably warm for spring; the kind of warmth that made Louis feel sleepy. He slept in, pulling the blanket over his head to block out the bright sunlight peeking through a few loose blinds on his windows, though it made him sweat. He sighed and threw off the blanket when it was too much, leaving only enough time to shower, throw on his uniform, and grab some cereal bars and water.

His mother didn't offer to go to his game when it was time for him to leave. Louis wasn't surprised, she usually spent Saturdays cleaning or doing shopping for the week. The hostility seemed to have lessened, her harsh looks softening. Maybe she was tired, being petty is pretty exhausting. It was a start.

He wondered if he would see Mr. Styles there, or if their break truly meant zero contact, even things as innocent as attending a soccer game. He hoped to see him, but he wouldn't count on it.

Louis drove to the high school with all the windows and the top down, soaking in the sunshine, a headband holding his hair back as the ends whipped around. He checked his texts at a stoplight, smiling to see that Liam and Lexie would be at the game to cheer him on. He was lucky to have friends like that.

As Louis warmed up, he watched the crowd thicken on the stands, family and friends arriving in pairs and groups. Lexie and Liam came over to chat for a bit after he'd finished and she called him out on his obvious distraction.

"Lou I just said that Niall looks like a whole five course meal in all white and you didn't even roast me. I'm disappointed." Louis snapped out of his search for messy curls on a freakishly tall man and chuckled.

"Oh, so you two are on a first name basis now? Hope you brought some barbecue sauce you thirsty hoe."

"That's more like it."

-

Louis couldn't find him during the first half of the game, and gave up searching by half time. It was the terms of the break anyways. Louis devoted his focus to the game, his teammates needed him. When he scored a goal his school's side of the crowd cheered and clapped. He wished Mr. Styles had been there to see it.

-

Mr. Styles picked Louis up swiftly and sat him on the edge of his desk, messily shoving aside things in their way, a pen falling to the floor and rolling away.

"Daddy, we don't have time." Louis said solemnly. It was the end of the day. He had to go home. The man paused from his unbuttoning of Louis' tight pants and smiled.

He nodded his head towards the clock and Louis followed his gaze. The numbers were faded and hard to read, the hands frozen in place at the exact end of the school day. The room didn't look quite right, the details were off, but he ignored all the obvious signs that this was merely a dream.

"We have all the time we want baby. Nothing can get in our way." Louis gave himself over to want and leaned up for a satisfying kiss.

-

Louis awoke with a gasp, his sheets twisted around his legs and sweaty, glancing around his dark room until he realized where he was. He squirmed to feel his throbbing erection pushing against his boxer briefs, then laid still, breathing deeply in and out. He groaned in frustration when he felt the slight damp spot where precum was gathered in the fabric. Don't do anything stupid.