Cheap and Cheerful- The Kills

Chapter 4:

He sighs, placing his hands in his pockets as the silence between us builds. I wait for him to say something, he's just looking at me like I'm an art on the wall. I sigh impatiently, he starts before I even speak: "I deeply regret doing that to you."

"Ok." I tap my foot rapidly, opening my eyes wider.

"I hope you can forgive me." I snicker incredulously, why the hell did I open the door for him? He wants forgiveness so he can feel better.

"Forgive you for cheating? Forgive you for calling you when I needed you because you were 'working late' but you were fucking some girl in my apartment?! You know what, I forgive you. For being selfish because that's who you are." My arms were waving around with anger. I walk into the living room. I grab my plate from the table to put in the fridge for later. I stride past him and set it in the fridge.

"I'm selfish?! After being there for you when you were in pain. I took care of you, like a great boyfriend should!" he screams.

"Took care of me?!" I slam the fridge door in anger, "I'm not a patient. Your heart wasn't with me when you did it, you hurt me, so much!" My chest hurts from yelling, I'm out of breath. Compared to the fall from the stairs that tore the cartilage in my knee to him breaking my heart, I don't know which one hurts the most. I breathe the air into my lungs, I can't blame him anymore, I only blame myself for trying too hard, for him to love me just as much as I did. I gave him all of my heart, he kicked it out the window when he slept with someone else.

"I said I was sorry," he says in a tamer voice.

"Is that it?" I hit the back of my head on the fridge, looking down at my bare feet. "You're sorry?"

"You still didn't give me a chance."

"I did. Before."

"No, you didn't. I'm so sorry, I never meant to... I still love you," I feel the tears brimming my eyes, closing them tightly so they don't spill. I open them and see that he's closer. Our noses touch, I can see the dark brown pupils grow small and big from his eyes, his expression is softer from his normal arrogance. His palm goes for my cheek, caressing it with his thumb, tilting my head from his touch.

I missed him. His touch, his gaze, his lips, his body. I lick my mouth as he leans in, resting his forehead on mine. I sniff in his familiar scent, "Steven," I breathe, moving my head away.

"Yeah?" he answers, his lips tracing from my chin to my neck. Below my earlobe, he sucks on it sensually. My head fell back, letting out a moan, I roll my eyes in pleasure. He knows that's my spot. My thighs were quivering already.

"I fucking hate you," I mumble, licking my lips.

"You don't." His fingertips press the base of my neck, my mouth sucked in his. My arms wrap around his neck, my back makes a slight slam to the fridge. His hands taking a hold of my butt, taking both cheeks with his palms. Our tongues tangling, he pulls me in closer, our groins pressing together. He humps me and groans, nibbling my bottom lip. I pull away, pushing him to the ground. Maybe I'm making a mistake, about to fuck him on my kitchen floor, maybe I'm not. Looking down, his abs and muscles were more defined than before. Right now, I want him. I straddle his pelvis, kissing him harder. I lift halfway, pulling my shirt off. His mouth traces my belly, I hold the back of his head. My entire skin was on fire, I breathe in deeply. I bring him back to my lips, fooling around with his belt buckle. I hear a phone vibrate. "Is that mine or yours?" I ask against his lips.

"Mine," he answers. Laying back on the floor, he reaches into his pockets. I brush my hair away from my face, waving my hand over it. I felt floaty.

"Yeah," he answers his phone, clearing his throat. I hear her on the other end. She's in tears, pleading him. "No, I was wrong. Don't be like that, babe." Babe? I retract my neck, baffled.

"Look, I'll be there." I get up from his lap, grabbing my shirt, and gulp. He's with someone, and he came here. We almost had sex. He almost cheated. Again. I was about to be the side chick.

"I'll see you." I hear him hang up, walking behind me. "Valerie, you okay?" He holds my waist, kissing my neck again. I break his grip, moving away.

"You have a girlfriend," I state.

"What?" He scoffs.

"On the phone. Your girlfriend." I turn to face him.

"We're just dating," he responds.

"Didn't sound like it," I shrug one of my shoulders. His silence tells me what I know already, he squeezes and twists his shirt. I almost fell for it, for him.

"Valerie-"

"Do you not understand commitment?" I shake my head.

"Of course, I do, you don't know anything."

"You're right. I don't. You need to go." I'm hit with realization: I was in love with a manipulator.

"Please, I didn't mean for this to happen."

"You want to cheat on her too?"

"It's not what you think. We had this huge fight. I had to go and think."

"So, that one fight means you have to fuck someone else?"

"Val," he steps up closer, I hold up my hand for him to stop.

"Please, go." He sighs, shaking his head. He wears his shirt, fixes his belt and pants. I open the front door widely. He eventually walks slowly to the door. His stare piercing through me, he leans in once more. I move away fast. He kisses my cheek softly. I shut my eyes, leaning away. "Goodnight, Val."

"Bye, Steven." He turns to leave. I close the door and lock it quickly; I swallow the lump in my throat. Taking in shorter breaths, my cheeks hurt. Don't cry, don't cry.