Chapter 45: I handled it with C(l)are
Originally I had this French song for this chapter (from 'Midnight in Paris', if you haven't seen it, I would recommend). And that was nice, but I found this song and I just thought it was a perfect "ending credits" song, so perfect I just had to put it into this last chapter. Anyhow enjoy.
Also, for anyone that is interested, I have an Instagram account named Darlah_writes. You may follow for more information about my stories/my life.
Darlah
I sat on the bench right beside Notre Dame. Jazz music filled the streets as a local band played in front of us, trying to make an extra buck. I smiled at them as they played, completely unaware that this was my dream come true. I felt a warm breeze ruffle my hair and I couldn't help but tilt my face towards the sun in hopes to get a tan.
I remembered the day that we got ice cream after hearing the best news of my life. Just when I thought that day couldn't get any better, my parents surprised us by saying that we would go to Paris in a month on a family trip. At first, I thought it was too good to be true, but now that we were here, I knew that dreams could come true. It was all that I could have asked for and more.
After the last treatment, I was able to finally start living life like a normal teen. I finished high school. I registered for college, however, I still don't really know what I will be studying, I figure I will pick something later on. As of right now, I wanted to be a doctor, like Doctor Patel, but I don't know if I can deal with all that school. Besides applying for college, I continued to go on dates with Peter. We had grown so much closer within the past few months, more than I ever thought we could. I still feel so lucky that he decided to stay with me through everything. In my free time, I went to cheer on Farrah and Peter at their games, most importantly, I was able to be there for them to support them. Something that I only wished I would have time to do.
I still thought about Anna sometimes, and I missed her so much still. I still thought about that time when she convinced me to stay and fight and I am so grateful that she did that because, without her, I wouldn't be here.
"Et Nous avons une autre chanson pour vous," the band member said to the small crowd of people.
My attention was brought up when suddenly I knew that I had been here before. Right here, right now. I had been here because Anna took me here as she helped convinced me to stay. I looked around hoping to see something else that stood out to me and across the street was a girl with long brown hair and skin that seemed to glow in the sun. She pulled on her bowed sleeved dress and smiled at me. Anna stood there on the corner smiling at me.
I felt my voice catch in my throat. I wanted to shout out to her, I wanted to call her over and laugh about old times but I know that wouldn't be able to happen. She was on her own path that I didn't quite understand and I don't think I would ever understand in this life. Instead of saying something back to her I just waved and smiled. I wanted to convey the gratitude had for her because, without her and support from my family and Peter, I wouldn't be here today. I wanted to tell her 'Thank you for offering me a second chance. Thank you for making me realize what I was going to miss. And lastly, Thank you for being my friend.'
"Who are you smiling at?" Farrah asked as she returned with two ice cream cones in her hands. I looked over to her with a smile. I told her to get dessert, she gets ice cream. I swear, my family had something with ice cream. I was thinking she would get a crepe, after all, we were in Paris, and she went to get ice cream? I just shrugged. It could be worst I guess.
I shook my head at her. "Nothing," I said and smiled at her.
She rolled her eyes at me as she handed me a cone that was as pink as a sunset in July. I took a bite, raspberry, one of my favorites. She knew me too well. "You are a terrible liar," she said and laughed as she sat next to me on the bench. I laughed with her. I hadn't tried to improve my lying skills since I was dying. I decided since that point that I didn't need that in my life. I liked being transparent much more. It was more liberating.
I shrugged at her. "I thought I saw someone I knew over there." I pointed across the street to see that Anna was gone. My disappointment was clear on my face when I knew that she had already left and I probably would never see her again.
"I think you are seeing things, Clare," she said as she ate her ice cream. "Goodness, this Sun, I can't get enough of it. London last week was way too cloudy. But here, I could live with this." She said as she tilted back her head to face the sun more.
I nodded at her. Her summer tan was coming on strong. "Paris has been so nice to us," I said as I looked at my arms that were showing a hint of golden against my white T. For the first time in years, I was starting to get a tan, not as strong as Farrah's but I was happy with it. I looked around at the people passing us, talking, laughing, enjoying time, and smiled. For the first time in years, was having a summer that I always dreamed about.
At that moment, my phone buzzed taking me out of my thoughts. I jumped slightly, I didn't think I got wifi here, I wasn't expecting to get any texts. I pulled my phone out of my purse that matched my grey shoes and looked at it to see Peter sent me a good morning text. I smiled and quickly texted him back a short little good morning message before putting the phone back into my purse.
"Peter?" Farrah asked me with a mouth full of ice cream.
I nodded at Farrah. The last full conversation we had before I left for Europe was still fresh in my mind. 'Clare, we need to talk.' Peter said with a sigh. He was tired, I could see it in her eyes. his dad was working him too hard for the summer and it was wearing him thin, I could see it in his face.
At that moment I felt my heart race in my chest. I was suddenly more worried about what he was going to say than I have been in a long time. 'sure, what do you want to talk about?'
'I have to go to university earlier than you. They want me for summer training. That means I won't be able to see you as much as I want to these upcoming weeks.' He frowned at me with disappointment clear in his face.
I let out a sigh of relief that I didn't know I was holding back, but I still frowned at him as I thought about all the plans we made for this summer, all the plans that we probably not be able to do now that he was leaving early. Finally, when I was well enough to do things, Something came up to mess it all. I tried to keep a strong face at him, but I knew he could see my disappointment as well. 'This is not how I wanted to spend the next month.'
He nodded at me. 'I'll be home every weekend.' He added with hope in his eyes, trying to make up for it. Man, this boy and his positiveness. I couldn't get enough of it.
I nodded back at him, trying to be as positive about it. 'we can make this work I think.'
I shook my head to clear my thoughts and frowned at Farrah, "I wish he could have come with us. Too bad he had his summer training at his university for the next three weeks."
She bumped my shoulder to cheer me up. "But it's not like you're not going to see him anymore. After all, you are only going to a university an hour away from him."
I smiled at her as I thought about it. It was a last-minute decision to apply there. It was a good well-rounded school with a terrible med program, but the more I thought about it the more I didn't want to be a doctor. I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life and I was just trying to make plans as fast as I could because now I could. I honestly didn't think I would get into the university. They were very competitive. I was as surprised as any to get an acceptance letter from them so I couldn't be any more excited. What made this university even better was that it was an hour away from Peter and an hour away from my parents. I was still so close to everyone I cared about. "And I'll only be an hour away from you too. You better not forget that."
She nodded at me with a hint of mischief in her eyes like she always got when she got an idea. "I better be able to spend the night at your place some weekends. I heard the college parties are amazing," she chuckled with a hint of sarcasm in her voice, knowing that I wasn't about those parties.
I rolled my eyes at her. Me at a college party? I hardly would imagine that. not my kind of scene that's for sure. I'll pass on the under-age drinking. "yeah right because that would be all so much fun." I said with sarcasm back at her. "Well if you wanted to, you could spend the night every weekend at my place."
She smiled but shook her head at me. "I don't think our parents would like that so much. They want to see you as much as I want to see you."
I nodded to agree with her. She did have a point. I probably should spend some weekends back home with them. It would be a good chance to do laundry. I can't believe I was talking about my future so freely, I was making plans, things I wanted to do, I never thought I would make it through graduation, but here I was, going to college. I could barely believe it myself. I don't think my family could really believe it also. "So, mom and dad are taking an extended date night tonight?" I asked her, hinting that we had the night to ourselves on our family vacation to Paris.
She looked at me and wiggled her eyebrows. "Want to do something fun?"
"I always do."
"Oh Clare! You wouldn't believe what just happened to me."
And here goes another story. And at that moment, I knew everything was going to be ok. Life wasn't perfect, but there was perfection in this imperfection that we called life. It was messy, and it caused pain, physical and mental, but there was so much joy in this life that people forget to see. I missed it myself, but now, now I know how to look for it. I hated cancer, but it taught me so much and made me realize who I was and what I wanted to become. Some say that I handled cancer with c(l)are, but cancer really handled me with c(l)are.
And.................... that's it! It's a wrap! Dang! I had so much fun writing this story. This was for sure a different kind of story that I have tried to write, but I enjoyed it so much. I know I am not supposed to have favorites with my works, but this is one of them.
Anyhow, I would love to hear your insights into the ending. I was on the fence about ending it because I thought it was going on a little too long, but that might just be me. Did this story end too soon?
Thank you so much for voting and committing!!!
Darla H
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