Song is for the start of the chapter!

I stood on the back deck of my house as Peter looked at me nervously. He looked like he was afraid that he would hurt me with just a small gesture. Quickly I laughed it off, as if it didn't bother me, he was making a bigger deal about this than he should. "What are you? A Scaredy cat?" I teased him.

A week had passed since the dance and this was the first time that he had been back over to my house since we didn't want to push our luck with my parents. We both decided that it was safe to slowly get them warm to the idea that Peter was back around.

"Yeah, I am. What if I mess this up and it looks awful?" he asked, as he looked at the razor in his hand.

I chucked at him. "I'm losing it anyhow. Why not have some fun before it's gone?" I said as I referred to my hair, that was half in a bun and half down. I wanted to shave the part that was down since I saw the same style in a pop culture magazine. I never had the guts to do it but seeing that my hair was going to fall out anyhow, I saw it as now was my chance. "All I want you to do is shave all the hair that is down. It's not that hard."

He frowned, not confident with his ability to cut my hair with a razor.

I sighed and went up on my tiptoes to place a kiss on his lips. "Please. Peter. Just do it," I said to him. I wrapped my hand around his that held the razor. I flipped the switch that turned it on because I knew that if I didn't turn it on, it would never happen.

I turned my back to him and said, "you can't mess this up." Within a second, I felt the razor against my skin as my blondish white hair fell to the ground around me. I smiled. I felt excited about this change. For one small, rare moment, I was in control and I loved it.

Minutes ticked by until Peter finally spoke up, turning off the razor. "I think I did ok."

I reached up and rubbed my half buzzed head and smiled. "That feels nice. I see why guys do it." I turned to kiss him. "Thank you."

"Take a look at the mirror before you say anything else," he said hesitantly.

I nodded, although I knew that he couldn't mess this up. Quickly, I went inside the house and walked into the bathroom to see my new hairdo. I turned my head to see the shaved side in all of its glory.

"So did I mess it up?" he asked as he peaked into the bathroom.

I shook my head; he did the opposite; it was exactly what I wanted. "This is perfect. Thank you," I said to him happily.

He smiled at me. He then pulled out his phone and frowned. "You have that support group meeting soon."

I frowned at him as the realities of my life hit me like a slap to the face. "Do I have to go?" With him here, I didn't want to leave that.

As much as I would be happy to see Anna, that meant that I had to sit with a bunch of other cancer patients as I half-listen to their problems. It was all so boring and depressing, and I could think of much better ways to spend my afternoon.

"Yes, it'll make both me and your parents happy," he said to me and pulled his keys out of his pocket. "I'll drive."

I folded my hands over my chest. I would not move from this spot and I already decided about the matter.

He smiled at me, reading my mind. He thought this was a game, but I was dead serious. I was not moving, not today.

"Come on Clare, how bad could it be?"

I sighed loud enough for him to hear it. I didn't want to go, but he for some reason really wanted me to go and so did my parents. I caved. "Ok. Fine. I'll tell mom we're leaving." Without wasting a second, I yelled out, "Mom, Peter is taking me to the support group meeting."

She ran down the stairs with a smile. "That's awfully nice of him. I'll see you when you come back," she beamed with a wink, then looked at Peter. "Oh, and I love the new haircut, it's very you. Peter did a good job."

I nodded to her as I ran my hands through my hair. "Yeah, he did. Anyhow, I'll see you after the meeting. Love you," I said, as I walked out the front door to get to Peter's car.

Following my lead, Peter went to the car and unlocked the door so that I could get into the passenger seat. As I looked around the car, memories of the hospital trip hit me like a brick wall. I frowned as I saw a few drops of blood still on his seat from over two weeks ago. "I messed up your car."

"Please, this old thing? It should be easy to get out, I just haven't given an effort in cleaning. I've been busy with other things," he said as he turned on the car and it roared to life.

The drive to the hospital was full of conversation as Peter explained how excited he was for the new school year to start. He wanted to try out for the Rugby team, the drama club, and the track team. I was more in awe of him as I learned that he really did live life to the fullest.

His excitement didn't aide my lack of enthusiasm as I thought about how summer was ending so quickly. I couldn't believe that school was going to be starting in a few weeks since it felt like just yesterday summer break started a week ago. How could it be over so quickly? With the start of school, it meant more online college classes. Sometimes I wish I went to public school, at least then I wouldn't feel so cut off from everything.

"Is it ok if I drop you off here? I have to run an errand then I'll come up and join," he asked as he drove me to the front door of the hospital.

"Yeah, that's fine. Remember the room's 345," I said as I got out of the car as a wave of dizziness hit me suddenly. I gripped onto the car as I forced a smile at Peter, hoping that he didn't notice my slip. With a deep breath, I regained my balance.

He nodded at me. "I'll see you in a few."

Closing the car door, I gave one last smile before walking into the building. Before long, I found myself in the room of the support group. Once again, a seat was open next to Anna.

Moving closer to her, I held back a gasp, noticing that she had no more hair on her head. She looked at me with a sad, tired and sunken eye. However, she still attempted to smile as I took the empty seat next to her. "Hi Clare," she said in a small voice that was less enthusiastic than normal.

I hadn't seen her in a week, but that week must have been hell for her. She looked worse than I had ever seen her before. Silently, I wrapped my arm around her and gave her a small squeeze, knowing that she needed it.

"Hi Anna," I said simply, knowing that there was no need for her to explain what was happening since I had been in her shoes before. I didn't need to know the details, but I knew she needed a friend to be there for her. That was something that I didn't have for the longest time, and I was determined to stay with her when things got tough.

After a minute she said, "I like your new haircut."

I gave her a small smile and said, "You like it? My boyfriend just gave me it today."

She nodded. "It's fun." She ran her hand through her shaved head as if she was thinking about what she was missing. With a frown, she crossed her arms over her chest and shivered.

I knew how that felt, always feeling cold. I just wish I could do something that would make this better, no matter how small the gesture was. That was then I remembered a hat in my bag. I rummaged through my purse as I tried to find the hat I left in there a few months ago. Successfully, I pulled out the gray beanie and handed it to her. "You lose heat the fastest through your head."

She gave me a small smile and put it on her head. "How does it look?"

"Way better on you than it ever looked on me," I smiled. "Keep it."

"Thanks."

We sat there in silence for a minute or two more until the meeting started. For the first time, I paid attention to the group members and what they said, even giving input when needed. It was like something sparked within me I didn't know I had. At the end of the meeting, a list went around for the talent show that was going to be next week.

"Please sign up if you have a talent to share! There are a few spots still available," the preppy group leader said to us.

I looked at the list as it came to me and frowned. There were only five names on the list. That wasn't much of a talent show when I knew for a fact that there were at least 20 people in the group meeting that regularly attended. I didn't want to sign up, but that list looked so pitiful, with only a handful of names on it. In didn't of swallowing my fear, I let it consume me as I passed the list onward, not willing to sign my name to it. 

By time the end of the meeting came, Anna looked at me with worry. "Clare?" Anna asked me as the group started exiting the room, leaving us almost alone in the room.

I turned to her as I waited for Peter to come and pick me up. "Yeah, Anna?"

She played with her foot for a second before looking up at me with tears in her eyes. "I'm going to have my first surgery tomorrow. I was wondering, if um, you could give me some pointers? You seem to handle cancer so well and I want to know how you do this."

I frowned at her, wishing I knew what to say to comfort her, but I didn't. To be honest, every time I went under the knife, it terrified me. Surgery was the scariest because there was no guarantee that I would wake up once I went under. It was the thought of being completely and utterly out of control that scared me the most, but I think Anna felt the same way. "I know this sounds crazy, but I say a prayer beforehand. I can't really explain it but I feel it helps me. I also make sure I surround myself with the people that care about me. Good vibes are always important. What time is your surgery?"

"It's at 9 AM. I should finish by 12 or at least that was what my doctor told me."

I nodded, not caring what my schedule had for me. In that moment I knew I had to be there for her. Tips weren't enough. She needed friends by her side. "I'll be there."

She smiled as she suddenly didn't look so nervous anymore. "You don't have to."

But I saw in her eyes that she wanted me there and I wanted to be there for her. "I want to, and I will be there. Anna, I can guarantee you I'll always be there for you."

There was a second of silence, then she spoke up, "I never had a friend like you. I don't know what I would do without you"

"There's a first for everything," I shrugged with a small chuckle. In reality, I had never had a friend like her, either. I never thought I would be friends with her, but I was so glad I was.

Breaking us from our moment was when Peter's voice called out to me. "Hey Clare! How was it?" Peter asked me as he came into the room.

I looked at him with a smile. Finally he could meet Anna and I hoped she would be happy for me and give a stamp of approval. "Good. Peter, have you met Anna?" I asked him as I introduced them.

He scratched the back of his head for a second as he thought. "Anna da Cruz?" he asked as if he knew her already.

She nodded at him with a slight frown, as if she wasn't happy with seeing him. "That's me," she stated it with no enthusiasm if she was not excited to meet my boyfriend.

There was an awkward silence that filled the room as the two looked at each other, not sure what to say to the other. "We were in the same school, were we not?" Peter asked finally.

"Yeah."

He frowned. "Well, it's a shame to run into you in this place."

There was more silence than Anna broke it with sarcasm in her voice, "yeah it is a shame isn't it."

The awkwardness in the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife. There was tension between them I didn't understand, but I felt like something significant happened between the two of them. Knowing that nothing will aid this awkward conversation, I spoke up, trying to break it. "Peter, we need to get back. My parents are expecting me."

He looked at me, almost like he forgot I was here. "That's right. It was nice seeing you again Anna."

I turned to her and placed my hand on her shoulder, as if saying goodbye. "I'll see you tomorrow." And with that we left the room.

We walked out of the hospital in silence. I was wondering what just happened. Once we got into the car, I turned to Peter. "What was that with Anna?" I couldn't hold what was on my mind silent any longer. They knew each other and whatever happened to them wasn't a happy ending, and I needed to know.

There was a minute of silence as Peter chewed on his words before he spit them out to me. "I never knew Anna directly, but I was friends with her friend. It was when I was a freshman and I was a major jerk. I made this girl hate all of her friends, including Anna then I spread rumors about them. I probably did some other things to her that weren't very nice. Honestly, all of my freshmen year, I blocked out of my memory. I made a lot of mistakes that year that I care not to relive. I was a young boy who was one of the star athletes. I was popular, and smart, and well-liked, and I let it go to my head. That didn't last long when I broke my leg. As fast as I got the popularity, I lost it, making me realize a lot of things I did wrong since that moment, I've changed, refusing to be that person again," he said honestly to me as we drove home.

"Did you ever make it up with the people that you hurt?"

He shook his head with a frown, as if that was a huge regret in his life. "No, I wasn't brave enough. Instead, I pretended they didn't exist."