Look out for the <> for when to listen!

Hope you enjoy! Thank you for all the support! It really means a lot to me that people actually read my stories!

Darla H

For so long I had made masks for myself. I read some articles before saying that depending on the people you hang out with; you put on a mask to better fit their ideas. I had been so good at making masks that I didn't know if I could even show my real self.

Once we made it to the school parking lot, one of Farrah's friends turned to me then looked me up in down, judging me. I shifted uncomfortably, suddenly feeling self-conscious of my appearance. Finally, she spoke up saying, "Clare, your hair looks nice. I love what you're doing with it."

The image of my hair in my hand was still fresh in my mind, and as I looked at her, all my emotions bubbled up again. I was sure she was trying to be nice, but the way she handled it made me feel less than what I was. I laughed cynically at her. "Well thanks, you know, this is the only style I can do. I'm surprised that you haven't noticed it before because I have done nothing different in six months."

"Clare," Farrah warned, trying to pull me back into place since I embarrassed her.

Knowing that I stepped out of place, I got out of the car without another word, convinced that saying nothing and being invisible was the best to best. We all walked to the school building in silence since I killed the mood from my outburst. This reminded me that there was a reason Farrah's friends didn't like to hang out with me.

"Clare you'll be fine?" Farrah asked me when we walked into the building. I watched as one of her friends started tugging her down the other hall, no doubt trying to get her away from me, the downer of the party.

I nodded at her, knowing that she wanted to hang out with her friends and have fun. "As fine as I can be. I don't think I'll get lost here." I was going to hold them back anyhow. They didn't want to be with me. They were friends with Farrah, not me.

She smiled, happy with my response, then turned to her friends and ran off with them down the hall.

I sighed with a frown as I watched my sister walk further down the hall with her friends, leaving me alone, reminding me why I even wanted to come when I knew they would leave me. I could see it now, I was going to spend all night alone in the gym's corner, wishing I wasn't here. Trying to remember where the gym was, I turned down another hall only to pass a small girl that recognized. Unwilling to talk to her, I gave a small hi and kept on walking forward, hoping she didn't notice. To my dismay, she said my name.

"Wait. Clare, oh my... is that you? You look..." she paused and looked me up and down for a second. "... good," the girl said to me and hugged me awkwardly. I imminently stiffened up, as was one of my old 'friends' embraced me. She was probably the last person I wanted to see tonight, since she spread rumors about me a year ago.

"Hey Tabi," I said to her politely as she pulled out of the hug.

"Are you finally going to get out of the shadows and join the public again? I heard senior year will be the best yet," she said to me.

Out of the shadows? Was I a vampire? Her words felt like knives stabbing into me as I looked at her cheer outfit. I racked my mind with something nice to say to her. "I don't think so. I rather spend it alone in my house reading college textbooks." I said my voice dripping with sarcasm.

Her smile dropped off, but she regained herself quickly. There was a second of silence, as I was sure that Tabi was thinking of what to say.

Staring at her silently, I waited for a reply. It brought a little of joy to me as she looked uncomfortable with the silence.

She smiled at me again then said, "well, it was nice to see you again Clare." And with that, she walked off quickly the opposite way.

I nodded silently, then walked down the hall fast as I could in the opposite way, hoping to not run into her again. The way I was going, I would to embarrass myself all night long. Socially awkward me, couldn't seem to shut my mouth at the right times. I probably just made myself look like an idiot in front of her. I gave her once again another chance to spread stories about me.

I finally made it to the gym where they were blaring the most irritating top 40 songs. I stood by the punch bowl for a minute or two hoping that I would see Farrah but songs passed and I realized that I probably wouldn't see her all night.

Disappointed, I walked over to the bleachers, where only a few people were sitting. I walked up the steps and found an empty seat where sat down and I pulled out my phone to pretend to be busy. I kept my head down, hoping that no one else would know that I was here. The last I needed was another embarrassing run-in with old friends.

Minutes ticked by as my phone quickly got old. Giving up, I put it into my small purse to see that there were even more people in the gym than before. I looked around to see if I saw anyone that I knew. It was then when my gut dropped, seeing with a small group of boys. He laughed with them, looking as happy as he could, confirming that he was probably happier without me.

Unable to pry my eyes from them, I watched them for a few minutes until a girl came up to them. She smiled at Peter sweetly as she put her hand on his arm. She whispered something into his ear, and he nodded and smiled at her as she pulled him away from his group of friends, deeper into the crowded room, out of my eyesight.

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I felt sick to my stomach as I watched. He never officially broke up with me, but I knew we were over. It really hurt to see him happy, with other people, with other women so quickly, when I surely wasn't feeling like that.

I couldn't watch it anymore as nausea washed over me. I got up from my seat and walked down to the bleacher steps, convinced that he was the one making me feel this way. If I had to sit here and watch him all night, I rather walk home.

I felt dizzy and light-headed as I walked down the steps. I tried all I could to control myself from falling down the steps, but the more I tried, the worse I felt. Finally, I succeed and breathed a sigh of relief as I felt my feet hit the wooden gym floor. As soon as I got off the steps, I rested my back against a nearby cold brick wall as I tried to feel better. I was going to vomit.

I pushed myself off the wall and walked out of the gym. When I was out of everyone's eyesight, I started for a run to the bathroom. I tripped over my own feet as I turned halls until I knew I was close to the bathroom. When I turned the last corner I ran straight into someone with enough force to knock them and me down.

I felt myself gag as I hit the ground. I was going to lose it right on the floor, right in front of this person, if I didn't control it. "I'm sorry. I wasn't looking," I apologized and quickly got up from the floor.

"Clare..." I heard Peter's voice ring out. I looked down at the person I ran into and saw Peter on the floor. This made my stomach lurch even more, causing me to gag again. "I want to talk," he said as he put his hand on my arm.

I felt tears run-up to my eyes. This was it. He was officially going to break up with me. Right here, right in this school hall, and then I was going to vomit. "Peter, not now. I need to go to the bathroom." I said frantically, as I came up with the first excuse I had. Without waiting for another word from Peter, I ran to the bathroom only to find all the stalls taken. Unable to hold what was in my stomach any longer, I used the only available bowl to lose my lunch, the sink.

Almost instantly, it filled the room with a foul smell. I quickly tried to wash it down the sink, but some stayed stuck in the drain, then moved to the next sink and swished some water around in my mouth and spat it out. I just wanted to get out of here as fast as I couldn't before someone realized what happened.

"What the hell? What's wrong with you?!" I heard a girl say behind me.

I turned to face her. "I, I um, I'm sorry," I stammered, finding no comeback for her. I stood there for a second as she yelled at me, saying how much of a freak I was. I felt tears come to my eyes again as I took it, believing it as the truth. I was a freak, that was why I didn't belong here. What was I even thinking when I thought this dance could be fun? I should have never come. This was hell. Without waiting for another minute, I rushed out of the room and down the hall, hoping to get as much space between me and the bathroom.

"Clare! Wait! I want to talk!" I heard Peter call out to me. I heard someone running to catch up to me.

My heart was beating in my throat. Unwilling to take for him, I sped up hoping that he wouldn't catch me. However, within a second, I felt a pair of hands wrap around my small arms. I turned to face him with tears running down my face. This was not how I wanted it to go down.

His face changed into concern instantly. "Are you ok?"

His question fell heavy in front of me and, unable to hold myself back, I dove into the painful details that I was feeling. "No, no I'm not Peter. I have cancer and it's killing me. It's hard to deal with and it's just been worse when I have to deal with the fallout of us. My sister thought this would be good for me to get out and I thought it would be fun, too. But honestly, it has been hell," I said, sobbing by the end.

Saying nothing, Peter wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a hug. I melted into his warm embrace, not caring if we were dating any more. I just wanted someone to hold me for a moment and tell me things were ok. "This isn't fair, Peter. This was supposed to be a fun night," I said into his chest.

"I'm sorry Clare."

I breathed in his sweet smell. He smelt so nice. I could stay here all day and be happy with it, but I knew that couldn't happen. We were not together anymore and soon this embrace will end and he would go on his way.

After a minute he pulled me out of the embrace, but I instantly wanted to be engulfed in it again. "Why don't we get out of here."

I looked at the hall that leads to the gym. I frowned, knowing that he was looking for somewhere to break up with me privately. "I can't leave. Farrah's here," I said, making up an excuse.

"We won't go far. Just to the football field. It should be much quieter than this hall is."

I knew what he was going to say, but it was still going to hurt. Maybe it would be better to just rip the Band-Aid off, so I nodded and followed him down the hall. I glanced at his hands by his side and thought about when I used to hold his hand. I crossed my arms over my chest to not tempted to reach out for him.

We soon found ourselves outside, and it was only a quick minute walk to the field. The sun was going down, but it was still hot and humid out. The gate to the field was open to my surprise, and we walked in on the field and stopped at some benches that the football players use.

He sat down on the bench and patted a seat next to him.

I looked at his hand. It was tempting to snuggle close to him, but then I thought, if he was going to break up with me, I rather do it standing. That way I can leave quickly. "No, I think I'll stand," I told him with my arms still crossed.

He laughed, then smiled for the first time since we ran into each other. "Clare, please?" he asked sweetly.

There was no use in fighting this. Instead, I sighed and sat down next to him. It was time to put on my brave face. I did this with all the hard news about my cancer. If I made it through those moments, I could do it with this. It can't be hard. It's like ripping off the Band-Aid, right? "Ok, what was it?" I asked in a tone that was a little sharper than I excepted.

He sighed he put his hand next to mine but made sure not to touch it. It was just close enough that I could feel the heat coming off of it. "I know I owe you an explanation."

"Hell, you do," I retorted bluntly. After crying all my emotions out, I suddenly felt tough, like I could say whatever. At this moment, I found my voice. I didn't care that I was at fault as well. I didn't care that I failed to tell him about my health. All that was on my mind was anger. Why didn't he call me? "I have spent the last five days wondering what happened. What was going on with you? You left me at that stinking hospital with nothing, Peter, not even a note. Do you know how pissed I am? So the hell you need to tell me what's going on."

He looked hurt for a second, like I just slapped him, then looked away to hide his face. "I know I messed up, Clare. I told you at that hospital that I wasn't going anywhere, but I left you there. I broke my promise and you know how much that hurts me too?" he said, and rested his hand on mine.

I looked at his hand but tried to keep a straight face at him, confused about where this conversation was going. I pulled my hand away from his. "If you care so much about me, then why did you not even try to text me?" I retorted.

His face contorted in pain, and then he frowned, as if my words had hurt him. As soon as he made this face, I imminently wanted to take what I said back. "That night, at the hospital, I would not leave your side. But when your parents came, your dad pulled me aside, telling me how sick you were and how you were too sick to have a relationship. He begged me not to date you. He thought you would be better without me in the picture."

"Then why didn't you call me and tell me about this? You had a week Peter," I said, making sure my voice was softer.

He frowned. "Clare, what happened that night was like a bomb being dropped. We had been dating for three weeks and you never even thought to tell me about what you had? All those noses bleed? The dizzy spells? You know what was happening all along, but you chose not to tell me. I know you had loads of time to tell me about it. But you didn't... Cancer, I wasn't expecting that."

I knew exactly what I was going to say since I had been thinking about this topic for weeks. It was time to be completely honest with him for the first time, and I was ready for it. "The reason I didn't tell you was because I didn't want you to treat me differently. Trust me, I thought about telling you a bunch of times, but I never had the guts because you saw me differently than everyone else. You saw me as someone that was capable of anything. You saw me not as a sickly cancer girl but as someone who was strong, independent, and beautiful. I was afraid that if I told you, you would see me differently, you would see me as weak, fragile, sickly," I told him my thoughts honestly.

There was a minute of silence as Peter looked out on the field that we were sitting in front of. He then looked right back at me. "You're right, I see you differently now. But now I see you as even stronger as I did before. You can do all the things you set off to do and you carry yourself with a brave face. You're so much stronger than I ever thought you would be."

He was saying all these words to me but yet I did not know what he wanted to do. If I was so important, why did he not tell me? Did he want to move on? Did he want to be friends? I wanted him to be honest with me at this moment but I just felt confused. "So what do you want?"

"I had been thinking a lot about that the past few days. At first, I thought about how if you lied about your health what else had you lied about to me. That hurt me you kept this from me even though it was an important part of you. But the more I thought about why you kept it a secret, the more I understood why you did it." He sighed and rested his hand on mine again. This time I didn't move my hand, instead, I let his hand warm my cold one. "After all this thinking, when it comes down to it, I want to be with you. But I want you to be honest with me. I don't want you to hide who you are. If this is going to work, I need you to be you, not this other side of you that you show to everyone else. I need you to be real."

I frowned for a second. That would be so hard to do. I am not even completely honest with my parents. How could I be honest with him? A person who I had only known for a month? Was it worth it? Did I want him bad enough to let him see me without my mask? I sighed at him, knowing that it was worth it. "Ok. I want to make this work but I'm not very open about my illness however, I'm willing to learn. I just ask you to have patience with me," I said to him.

He smiled at me. "Deal." He sat closer to me and pulled my hair back, then leaned in and kissed me softly. He then pulled back with concern. "What are we going to tell your dad? He would be happiest if I wasn't dating you."

I chuckled at him. "My dad would be happiest if I stayed in my bedroom until I got better. I know my dad just wants me to be better and he's trying his best but sometimes he just needs me to let me do the things. I'm sure he'll understand that soon enough."

"Hopefully he realizes that soon." He leaned over and kissed me again. "Want to get back? I'm sure Farrah looking for you." He stood up with his hand still around mine.

We walked back into the school together. We said little but suddenly, this terrible night didn't feel so terrible. Before long, we found Farrah with some of her friends in a hall close to the gym. She looked at me, then Peter, and smiled widely at us. "Hi you two," she winked.

I gave a small smile as I thought about how she'll want to know every single detail about this when we get home. Tonight was going to be a long night.

"I was just telling my friends that I was ready to go home. Are you ready?" Farrah asked me.

I nodded at her. I was feeling drained and wanted to go home to rest for the night.

"Farrah, if it's ok, I would like to take her home," Peter spoke up.

She raised her eyebrows at him. "Um, sure, ok." She looked at me almost for permission.

I nodded at her to show that this is what I wanted. "Yeah, I think I want to go home with Peter," I said to her.

"Ok then well, I'll see you home Clare and Peter." And with that, she turned her back and started walking down the hall to where the car parked.

I turned to him. "Why do you want to drive me home?"

"I want to do this right. I want to have a proper sit down with your dad. I have never had that before. I want him to feel confident that I am responsible. I want him to know that I will do all I can to protect you," he said to me.