Song if for the start of the chapter!

Darla H

"So I thought we could go to the supermarket and get some takeout food for dinner. You can pick out the meal," mom said as she leaned into my bedroom door frame two days later.

I looked at her from the book I was reading and thought about it for a second, even though I knew what my answer would be. Released from the hospital two days ago, I still hadn't heard a single word from Peter.

For those two days, I wallowed in self petty, knowing that I scared him off. He didn't want to deal with a person who was sick and dying of cancer. That was too much work for someone in high school to deal with. But the saddest part was that he didn't even bother with breaking up with me formally. His silence was enough of an answer for me.

What happened to 'I'm not going anywhere'? He clearly lied, and just like my old friends, he left me, too. What made me furious was that he just refused to text me and I was too afraid to text him. So instead, I just drew the lines together in my mind knowing that we were over.

I looked at her sweet smile as she tried so hard to cheer me up. It was almost cute if I wasn't so depressed about the reality of things. But not a single shipping trip will help this. I was heartbroken. My boyfriend vanished just like that, and I needed to mourn. But that was what she didn't understand. "Nah. Whatever you get will be fine," I said to her and then turned back to my book.

"Please, Clare? I want you to come with me," mom said to me, not leaving where she stood.

I stared at her for a moment, knowing that she wouldn't leave until I said yes. When she set her mind to something, there was no use in saying no. Just wanting this to end as quick as possible, I sighed and put my book on a nearby shelf. "Fine. You win. Let's go."

She smiled widely at me, knowing that she once again got her way. "Great."

As we drove to the supermarket, mom talked about loads of random things. I half-listened, but for most of the ride, I stared out the window, thinking about what Peter was doing now. He could do many things, but one thing was for sure, he wasn't thinking about me.

"What are you thinking about?" mom asked as she got a shopping cart inside our local supermarket.

I frowned, realizing that I had not said a single word to her this whole time. I looked around where we were at, not wanting to talk about this subject at the supermarket filled with all the town local folk who would bound to listen. I smiled at her to reassure her that nothing was on my mind.

"Are you thinking about Peter?"

I shrugged to agree with her. I figured I should be honest if she already knew what I was thinking about. No use keeping up with the lie when she already knew the truth. "Yeah, maybe a little."

"Well, tell me what's on your mind," she asked as she leaned on the cold mental cart, giving me her full attention as we walked through the produce.

I sighed. Did I really want to tell her about my drama, here no less? Once upon a time, I used to be completely honest with mom and sometimes I missed it. The past three years had forced me to keep almost all of my secrets to myself, to protect them and me from the fallout. But maybe it would be better to be candid with her.

"I was thinking he would visit me at the hospital. He seemed so supportive the night I saw him. I thought he would stay with me, not just through the night, but as my boyfriend. I thought he was going to stay, even though he knew what I really had. But since that night I haven't heard from him," I told her in the aisle of the frozen produce.

She stood silently for a second as she thought about what to say. "Maybe you just need to give him time. He might be processing all of this. He did just see you at your worst. That's a lot to take in. Especially when he didn't know the truth. For what it is worth, I think Peter's a good kid. I think he will realize quickly what he had done and see that you're worth keeping," she smiled at me.

I gave her a small smile. As feel good as that statement sounded, I knew that life wasn't full of happy endings. But I hoped that what she said was the truth. "I'm afraid that he's mad at me. We dated for weeks and never once did I tell him about my health. I wasn't honest. He might realize that if I kept this tremendous secret from him, I might just keep more secrets from him. And relationships aren't built on secrets," I stated, as if I knew that for a fact. "What if he never talks to me again," I whispered.

She frowned for a second, but quickly recovered her face. "Let's not think about that now. You're just causing yourself unnecessary stress and after all, that'll cause gray hair," she said and winked at me.

I didn't have the heart to tell her I probably wouldn't make it to that point in my life. Instead, I stayed silent.

"You don't need to worry about the 'what ifs' Clare. It's not worth your time. I still think you should just give him some space and don't just think about the worst-case scenario, think positive. You used to be so positive, I know you can be a positive thinker again."

I nodded at her as I paid attention to her words. Even though I might have been positive, a lot of things made me want to be more realistic. The world wasn't always full of sunshine and rainbows; I knew the sad reality of that. "Maybe what you're saying is right."

Sometimes I found my parents were over baring. Ok, a lot of times. They were demanding. However, there were a lot of things that I loved about them, like how they were my biggest cheerleaders, and they knew the right things to say. They were a bit much sometimes, I'll be honest. But most of the time, I understood why they were like that. They just wanted the best for me and have a long and happy life.

She smiled widely, finding humor in the statement. "I would hope so. After all, I have lived a little longer on this earth than you have. I would hope that I would know a thing or two about relationships."

I let out a chuckle. What she was telling me had importance. She probably didn't even need to go shopping, but she knew that if I came, she would be better able to talk one on one with me. Even though we were around the busy supermarket, somehow this seemed as private as a hike in the woods. I looked her in her eyes to convey the importance of what I was going to say to her. "Mom, I love you."

She smiled at me as her eyes welled up with tears. "I love you too, Clare. I know this boy means a lot to you. I want to do all that I can to help you," she said, hugging me tightly.

Breaking us from our moment was my name being called from down the aisle. "Clare! Hey Tracy," a high-pitched voice rang out.

I frowned, knowing that it was only time until someone recognized me. I sighed as mom frowned at me, warning to be nice. I quickly wiped my eyes then turned to face the lady that was walking up to us.

"Oh sweetheart, it's so good to see you out," the lady that went by Wendy said to me.

Out? what was that supposed to mean? I held my tongue as I stared at her in silence. Out of everyone that could have found me here, in this state, it had to be the president of the PTO organization. Shoot me now.

"How are your treatments going?" she asked as she put her hand on my shoulder, as if she actually cared about me.

It took all my willpower to not shake her off. Wouldn't you like to know? She just wanted to spread any information to the rest of the organization, only to do nothing to help us. In the small town, I was the only news. "They're going well."

She nodded as she turned to mom to chat. "We miss you at the PTO meetings. Are you thinking about joining again?"

"I don't know. I'm very busy," she said as she looked at me, knowing that I hated her. She wanted me to step away before I lost it. "Clare, dear, what do you want for dinner? You can pick whatever you want."

I looked at the aisle but I found nothing I wanted. I knew there were a few dinner places next door and if I was lucky, mom would say yes if I suggested it. "Can we get the cheap Chinese food next door?"

"Sure can. How about you run over and place an order now?"

I smiled at her. Thank goodness, an excuse to get out of here. "I'll get that now. Wendy, it was nice to see you. Mom, we want the dinner family special number four and six, right?"

"You got it," she said as I started walking down the aisle to get out of the store before anyone else stopped me.