Chapter 36

It was kind of ironic if you think about it. Today, my and Francis's goal was to stay distracted. To try to not think about Luke or anything that would bring up pain. And the two people I was around today had the opposite effect. Francis reminded me of Luke. Brook reminded me of Emily. Thanks, once again for fucking with me, God.

The first time I met Brook, she got scared and afraid I would cut her open.  It ended with Jan taking her in the other room.  But now... she seemed more open and a little more trusting.  I had to assume Francis had a talk with her on how to behave. 

After we got banana splits at a small restaurant, I noticed Brook's started to relax a bit more around me.  And because of that... I honestly had no clue on how to act around her.  I mean, she reminded me of Emily - to the point where my stomach would occasionally twist every time I looked at her.  Plus, I really don't know how to behave around kids.  When I took care of Emily, I was pretty much still a kid myself.  With how old I am now, I didn't have the slightest clue.  It was strange because me and Francis were quite a like, personality wise, and he knew how to act.  But hello, maybe that's because he was a father.

"Daddy?" Brook asked from the backseat as we were driving back to my house. 

"What baby?" He asked her, still keeping his eyes on the road ahead.  Along with how he cleaned himself up, it was now apparent he could drive.  For some reason, I had assumed he couldn't.  Maybe just because I never saw him drive in the past. 

"Can we go to the park today?"

Francis glanced over to me in question.  I smiled but I honestly wasn't sure if I wanted to go.  Going out to get banana splits put me on edge enough.  I didn't want anybody recognizing me - and especially at a park with kids around. 

"Albany?"

I sighed.  "You know, you can just drop me off at home and you guys go ahead."

Francis pursed his lips, understanding.  Hazel eyes still focused on the road, he gave a large sigh.  Before he could say anything to that though, I was surprised to hear Brook speak up. 

"I want Albany to go," she said.

That made both me and Francis take a second to pause and glance at each other in confusion and surprised at hearing her say that.  I don't know what it was that made her want me around.  I was being very nice to her and her dad but I could still tell she had been uncomfortable with me.

"Really?" I asked, turning to look at her. 

Her big beautiful blue eyes met mine and she smiled shyly for a moment.  "Yeah."

After I faced forward again and looked back out the window of the car, not knowing what to say, I turned back to stare at Francis at him making the conclusion it seemed.

"Well then, prepare yourself, Higgins," Francis said, looking to me as he continued to drive.  He gave me a playful smirk I couldn't help but return.  "The park is full of dangers.  Screaming kids, crazy mothers, and too much excitement to handle," he said in all seriousness.

I chuckled and shrugged.  "Well, I guess we are going to the park then."

***

"Can I try the monkey bars today?" Brook said to her dad, looking up to him with those pleading blue eyes.  She held her hands together as if praying he tell her yes. 

I looked up at the monkey bars a few feet away from where we were all standing on the mulch.  Luckily for me, there weren't too many kids here today.  That was according to Francis anyway.  He said in relief that today, we had the whole park to ourselves.  I hadn't ever played at a park before so I was the one here with no experience whatsoever.

Francis pretended to think it over for a minute, crossing hie arms and tapping his chin for what seemed to be the longest time.  I elbowed him for making his daughter wait for an answer and told him, "Come on, let the girl live." 

Francis laughed and looked down to her.  "Alright, I guess so.  Do you remember how to do it from last time?"

"Yeah but I still want help," she said. 

He nodded and glanced to me and smiled before looking back down to where his daughter was standing before us.  He knelt down in front of her and slide his hands under her arms.  Standing up with her in his arms, he turned with his smiling daughter in his arms and both now looked to me.  I could feel the smile on my face at the sight of him holding her in his arms. 

He looked to Brook, their faces smiling and close together and you could see the resemblance again.  His eyes meeting hers as he held her, he smiled and told her, "Alright, it's time to show off just how amazing you are on the monkey bars to Albany.  Can you do that?"

She nodded and a second later, he walked over to the monkey bars with her.  I never did them before but these ones seemed higher up than what most usually are I think.  Observing them, I followed them and stood next to the monkey bars, watching Francis move under them and to the start of them with Brook.  He raised her up higher until he was holding her hips above him.  Brook reached up and grabbed the monkey bars herself and in the next second, Francis started slowly walking under her where he held her.  She was laughing each time she moved her fragile hands to the next bar, Francis holding her up and smiling with her.

Once she reached the end, Francis put her down and starting clapping and I followed his gesture.  She looked up to me with a big smile and and I clapped along side Francis at her completion of the monkey bars.

"Good job," I said, nodding and not sure what else I should say to that. 

Francis smiled over to me a bright smile before looking back down to where she was receiving this praise from her dad and I.  A moment later though, she said, "I'm going to go play on the slides."  She took off running a moment later and Francis didn't appear worried.  After all, this was a small park and nobody was really hear.

After we saw her from a distance, climbing up the jungle-gym and heading towards the slide, Francis turned to me with that smirk.  He lifted his hand and ran it through his hair, taking a deep breath as he came to stand before me.

I shook my head.  "I still can't believe how much you have changed. I mean, you are a real and good father."

He shrugged.  "Well, just because I have changed and am a good dad doesn't mean I still can't have fun.  Now anyway, I want to see you do it," he said, crossing his arms.

"Do what?  Be a dad?" I said, smirking.

He chuckled, his perfect teeth showing through, his hazel eyes teasing in mine.  "The monkey bars, smartass," he said, pointing up and to the right to where they were.  Glancing to them, I bit my lip.  Before you judge, I never played or did anything like that before.  It was intriguing but I also had no clue what to do.

"I don't know how.  And I'm not exactly a kid.  More like a predator in this area," I chuckled. 

Francis stepped forward and grasped my arm, guiding me the few feet until I was under the monkey bars.  Letting go of my arm, I looked up to him from where he stood next to me.  Looking down at me, he said, "Easy.  You hold onto the bars as you hang there before you grab the bar ahead of you."

"Wow, thanks for the explanation," I scoffed.  "You know what I mean."

"Oh, I see, you are a chicken and afraid.  Of a few monkey bars on the playground," he said, his voice that of a child as he was mocking me and teasing me.  I shook my head in amusement and took that as a challenge, needing to prove him wrong.  "Plus," he said again.  "I can see you want to so just do it."

"Fine," I said and looked up above me, seeing just how high it was off of the ground.  Too high for me to just jump up from where I was standing to grab the bars.  I couldn't hide my smile any longer as I walked over to the ladder at the end and climbed up it.  Grasping the first bar, I looked around to see if anyone was watching the crazy lady playing in her prey's territory.  Nope and honestly, I don't think I would have cared anyway.  Looking down to where Francis stood, waiting to watch me do it, his smirk was there as his eyes meet mine in amusement. 

I chuckled, looking down.  For someone who was taller than most eight year olds, this was pretty high up.  Joking, I asked him in a scared voice, "Will Uncle Francis catch me if I slip and start to fall?"

He laughed.  "What happened to the tough chick I used to know that would rely on nobody?"

"I could ask you the same question."

He raised a brow at me.  "No, because I was never a chick."

I rolled my eyes, turning my focus back to what I was about to do. After grasping the first bar with both hands, I let my legs fall forward until I was just hanging there.  Now, I know it's not that complicated.  But understand something folks: I don't and never have done this sort of shit before.  Looking down, I wasn't far from from the ground and planned on dropping. 

"Don't give up and quit like every other American.  You can do it," he said from a few feet to my right.  I chuckled and tried by letting one hand go and quickly grabbing the bar in front of me, letting my other hand go to bring it forward as well. 

"One down, another dozen or so to go," he said. 

I chuckled and tried to do it again and managed.  By the time I got to the fifth bar or so, he shocked me.  Out of nowhere, something smacked my ass and I was caught off guard.  Still hanging there, I looked down and around me until I found him smirking up at me as he walked around me. 

"Hey, why the hell did you spank me?"

He cracked up, laughing.  "You are going so slow.  I was hoping it would have the same effect as it does when hitting a horse to go faster."

Was he kidding me?  Well, should I really be that shocked?  It was Francis.  He probably made sure his daughter was out of sight. "You're comparing me to a horse?" I asked.

"Well, I shouldn't anymore.  All it did was slow you down.  But maybe that's just because your stubborn."

I could feel a small smile try to come to my lips at the seriousness of the situation but stifled it.  I took a deep breath and continued to go, one bar at a time until I felt him smack my ass again.  "Francis!" I hissed, scolding him but I knew it did nothing because my laughter canceled it out.

He hit my ass again, coming into my sight a second after.  "Go, go, go, go..." he went on, hitting my ass and as I was laughing, I quickly moved my arms to the bars ahead of me so he would stop spanking me.   He did and by the time I got to the end, he was clapping for me as he and I did for Brook. 

I was still laughing by the time I was at the end, just hanging there with sore arms.  I let go, my feet hitting the ground and I smoothly landed.  Laughing, I turned to face Francis and as he clapped, his deep voice was full of laughter as well.

"See?  My technique worked," he said as I smiled, approaching him.  In a quick motion, before he saw it coming, I was able to slip behind him and smack his ass hard too to get him back.

"Ouch," he said, quickly turning so his ass was out of my smacking range.  He chuckled, looking down at me with a humorous expression and playful eyes.

"I think maybe it's your turn to do the monkey bars," I said, smiling up at him.  I could only imagine what I would do....

He cracked up laughing.  "No thank you.  You see, I can't be assaulted.  I'm a father."

"Oh yeah?" I asked, moving closer to him.  Pointing up at him in accusation, I smirked.  "You can't use that as an excuse every time to get out of something.  I can tell you do that a lot."

We fooled around for a bit longer, keeping an eye and playing with Brook as well.  So far, it was turning out to be a fun day.  Of course, as time ticked on, I couldn't keep Luke out of my head. Every second that past could be a second he was in danger.  Though Francis and Brook helped keep those thoughts away, I couldn't help but dedicate a part of my mind to thinking about Luke and only Luke

***

"Today was fun," I said, my legs stretched out before me on the roof, my back pressing into the side of the house.  Francis besides me, sitting with his legs stretched out before him too on the roof outside my bedroom window, took a swig of his beer he took from our refrigerator. 

If Brook was still here, obviously we wouldn't be sitting on the roof and he wouldn't be drinking a beer.  But after we were done playing at the park, Francis dropped Brook off at his parents house.  Apparently, Jan and Mike already had it planned that Brook stay over that night.  Francis explained to me that every once in a while, Brook would stay the night with her grandparents because she had fun over there.  Francis said he didn't mind having her all the time but Brook sincerely enjoyed being with her grandparents. 

"Yeah, it was," he said, resting the can on his lap.  Looking out to the tops of trees before me, the dark leaves flickering in the breeze, I felt the few strands of hair from my sloppy bun wisp around.  But it felt good on such a hot evening.  There wouldn't be too many of those since summer would be over soon.  Hell, there wouldn't be too many times I would be able to climb outside my window and just sit up here as I was now.  I always liked to do this.  It was a perfect escape, into the nature and out of the stuffy house full of drama. 

Luke was working late tonight it seemed because he should have been home by now. And you can imagine how that made us worried so much more. So that's another reason we were just hanging out here on the roof: to be the first to hear that he was home. We have been waiting all day and soon, he should be home to give us an answer on what happened. And most importantly, an answer on whether he was okay or not. 

"I was surprised by how much Brook grew to like you," he went on.  I glanced to my side and saw he was looking out, straight ahead towards the woods that was becoming darker by the minute.  I noticed his hair was ruffling slightly in the wind as well, his brown curly locks brushing over his smooth skin.  The sun was lowering in the sky and his expression was still quite visible with how close he was sitting beside me. 

"I know, I didn't expect that.  Did you say anything to her before you guys came over today?"

"Well, I told her to behave and that she didn't have anything to be afraid of.  I also told her that I've known you for a very long time and that she could trust you."

I raised my eyebrows.  "Why would you say that to her?"

He looked down to me in question.  "Well because it's the truth."

"But... I'm crazy," I said, not understanding.  I also didn't like how his words reminded me of Luke.

"No matter your condition, I know you wouldn't hurt my daughter." He said, giving me that quick explanation.  Sighing, he raised his beer can back up to his lips and took another small swig. Watching him in wonder, a question I had been been pondering over for a while entered my head.

"What happened to Brook's mother?" I asked.

He looked over to me, his eyes seemingly turned darker. He chuckled slightly though but there was no humor in it. "Well, you know she just took off. But I mean, she was always fucked up so I can't really say I'm not happy she is gone. You know," he said, his face turned and looking at me directly, "Brook's been through so much... she sometimes has these phases where she wants to find her mother. She wants to know why she left and didn't want her. And... I don't know what to tell her. So I just say that her mother couldn't handle her life; but that I have twice the love a father has for her because I hold her mothers love for her too. I feel like such a screw up," he said, staring ahead at nothing in particular.

I shook my head and scoffed. He looked down to me again and hopefully could see I thought that was ridiculous from my facial expression. "You know, I would be lucky to have a dad like you. I don't remember mine; he ran off just like Brook's mother did. At least you are trying and care and came back to fix it."

He sighed but nodded in hesitation, taking another drink before he looked over to me and offered me a drink from the can.  Shrugging, I took it from him and took a quick sip of the beer before giving it back to him.  He smiled at me when he took the can back and I knew why.  It wasn't the first time sharing a beer with him.  There were a lot of memories with Francis at parties and just hanging out, getting drunk.  Of course, that wasn't goal - to get drunk - but it brought back memories nonetheless. 

"So, tell me something," he started.

"What?"

"Why do you like my brother?" He asked, his smirk forming on his lips again. 

I cracked up.  "I don't have a crush on Luke!" I said.  Damn, he was sure convinced of it.  Chuckling, I met his eyes and saw him smile.  But he still looked convinced. 

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes!" I said.

"I can spot crushes from a mile away." He teased me and elbowed me, as if in suggestion.  "So, fess up Albany!  You been feeling hot around him, haven't you?"

Francis always made me laugh.  Even now when he was completely right, it was funny at how he was going about trying to beat it out of me.  "I want to see the proof you have of that," I said, crossing my arms.

"Alright," he said and paused for a minute. I smiled, having fun with this. Yet, at the same time, I was becoming convinced Francis could really see the truth.  His voice became more serious, as did his words but the lightness in it was still present.  "You blush every time he looks at you."

Was he serious?  Looking at him now, I saw that besides his teasing of the subject, he seemed to think that he was right.  Oh shit, was it true? 

"More proof?" He asked.  "You're blushing now and your face just showed a hint of panic."

"Oh yeah?  Maybe because you like accusing me of stuff you're making up?"

"More proof?  You're being defensive right now," he went on.

I rolled my eyes, chuckling. "Why so pushy, huh?" I asked, elbowing him myself.  "Is someone worried I like his brother because maybe you have a crush on me...?" I smirked and watched him, waiting for a reaction. 

"I don't have a crush on you," he laughed and his lazy smile remained.

"Well why not?" I demanded, trying to hide my smile.

He seemed to think it over for a minute.  That's what I love about Francis.  You can go in dangerous waters with him and not worry.  We could fool around about this sort of thing.  "I don't date girls who aren't masters of the monkey bars.  It's a serious matter and you don't qualify.  However, I do know you have a crush on me." He said and teased again.

"Don't get your hopes up on that one.  That was a long time ago."

And... shit. 

His eyes widened and his smirk turned into a ful out smile, his teeth showing and all.  Of course, I had to confess that and I didn't even mean to.  But it really wasn't too big of a deal.  That was a long time ago and I came to the conclusion after a while that he would just be a better friend to have. 

"You had a crush on me?" He said, smile wide and voice light with happiness at that now known fact.  There was something on his face I couldn't read....  His eyes searched my face and his smile never falter.  

I groaned.  I've been screwing myself over quite often it seemed.  I kept revealing things I didn't mean to.  But I mean can you blame me with the set of talkative lips I have?  "It was a long time ago.  Then I realized I was just too cool for you," I said, joking. 

"I don't care when it was.  The fact is: you use to like me.  So I was somewhat right.  See?  I can spot crushes from a mile away.  And since you just confessed you use to have one on me, start talking about your current one on my brother."

I laughed and shook my head.  "Even if I did, why do you care?"

"Because I'm curious.  Not to mention I already know it's true.  And I want to show you that you that you can trust me with whatever you say."  He looked sincere on that last one. 

I shook my head and took another swig of his beer before he took one as well.  "We are changing the subject," I said. 

"That's what I thought," he said, smirking and looking out into the sky as i did.  I loved sitting out here.  I use to do it all the time before I ran away and I was glad I was doing it now.  It was relaxing.  But that peacefulness disappeared and my heart sped at the sound of a car pulling into the driveway. 

Francis and I climbed inside my window a second later and hurried down the stairs.  Luke was home... he was home and he had answers.  And more importantly, he was safe.  By the time we reached the living room, we saw the door open and Luke stepped inside. 

I took him in with worried eyes, my body tense with tension.  He looked tired and worried and just depressed right now.  Translation: not good. His hair was messy, sweat over his forehead and moving down his neck from the hot summer day.  His eyes found me first and I saw the jade in them seemed to brighten slightly.  And at the same time, darken at the realization of something.  He just stared at me, his breath hitching even more than it was.  Besides the obvious toll the day had on him, he didn't look hurt or injured. 

At seeing that, all the worry that had been building throughout the whole day seemed to be released.  I didn't know how stressed I was over this until now.  I felt myself smile at him and I just wanted to go to him the few steps it would take and hug him to me.  But I couldn't.  I couldn't show my affection for him like that.  Not because Francis was here - which I really didn't care about, whether he knew I had a crush on Luke or not - but because I couldn't get close to him like that anymore than I already was.  Not to mention, there was a very powerful air around us now that seemed to monitor each movement we made.  Such awkwardness and tension still.  I couldn't wait until that would soon be gone and fade.  Who knew what that would be. 

"So what happened?" I heard Francis ask from beside me.  I glanced to him before looking to Luke. 

Luke ran a hand through his hair before he sighed, looking between the both of us.  He walked over the couch where he sat down.  Francis sat in the chair before I could and I saw his taunting smile at leaving me to sit next to Luke on the couch.  I saw Luke visibly tense when I came to sit next to him, waiting. 

Francis seemed to notice to and smiled to me.  I just shook my head at him and focused my attention to Luke.  He looked to me first, his beautiful green eyes finding mine and looking me over for no more than a second.  He licked his lips, glancing to Francis before speaking. 

"So... we went in and searched his house."  His eyes found mine again.  "You were right.  There were drugs in the attic like you said.  Unfortunately..." He pursed his lips and sighed.

"What?" Francis pushed.

"Mark got away.  I chased him for some time but he managed to escape."

We were silent for a moment.  He... got away?  He wasn't suppose to get away!  That was the reason we didn't pay him back, because he was going to get arrested.  Now what?  At least he shouldn't bother with that now.  I mean, he had to avoid the cops which was a bigger problem.  And he had no idea that I was connected in ratting him out.  Everything would be fine... it had to be, right?

"What does that mean?" Francis asked.

"We aren't sure yet.  But we are still looking for him."

After a few more words and reassurances from Luke that everything would be okay, we moved away from that subject.  Well, Luke did.  Me and Francis wanted to know more but it was clear Luke had just about enough of that today. 

"Well, I'll be taking off then," Francis said, rising to his feet and therefore, Luke did as well.  Francis smiled to his brother and patted him on  the shoulder.  "Glad you made it out alive today, big brother."

Luke rolled his eyes and laughed.  "I've been in much worse situations."

Francis turned to me and openly winked at me after he clearly eyed the space between Luke and I. "Had fun today, Higgins.  I'm looking forward to another day of fun with you some time soon.  And I'm sure you are too."

I chuckled under my breath and rolled my eyes.  After heading to the door and leaving, he shut the door behind him. Luke turned to me, his eyebrows dipped. 

"What was that about?" He asked, referring to the gesture Francis just made to me.  Taking in Luke's face, I wasn't sure what to make of it.  He wasn't happy but it was hard to be I'm sure after what he went through today.

"Hm?  Nothing.  We just had fun today was all."

He pursed his lips, looking down as he nodded.  After a few seconds of me just staring at him, trying to figure out why he was reacting this way, his eyes found mine again and they were guarded, which I hated.  "Is Clare home yet?" He asked.

"No but she should be soon," I sighed. Talk about ruining the fucking mood by bringing that bitch up.  I mean, the mood was already in the shitter from the news Luke gave us.  But in comparison to Clare coming home, that was great news. 

He nodded stiffly and kept his eyes down.  "I forgot to tell you," he started in the thick silence.  His green eyes met mine.  "Since schools starting soon, you and I will be starting driving lessons.  I got permission to be your personal instructor instead of you having to attend classes."

I raised a brow.  First off, that was really nice or him and it meant I wouldn't have to deal with extra drama with people.  But it would suck, doing it with him because he was being such an awkward ass lately.  He better be normal when we do driving lessons.  Plus, The mention of school brought down my mood even more.

"Okay," I said after a minute, unsure of what else to say.

"What should I make for dinner?" He asked a second later, obviously hating this as much as I was.  But hey, he was the one causing this.

I smiled, trying to lighten the mood and the tension. "You had a hard day so don't worry about it.  There is left over pizza on the counter." I said.  The awkwardness increased.

He nodded and just stood there another second.  He pursed his lips and when neither of us said anything again, he sighed and walked past me without a word, heading for the stairs.  Standing in that frozen position, staring at where he was standing a second earlier, I wasn't sure what to do.  What to do about where Luke and I were heading with this awkwardness.  I guess I could only hope he lighten up soon enough.  Because despite my time spent having fun with Francis, it just wasn't the same as time spent with Luke.