Imaginary!Lafayette x Reader
POV: third person
References: sum eminem song i dunno also slight heathers
Time Period: modern
Warning: negative thoughts, anxiety attack, oof laf ples be my real bf
A/n: okay so I was having an anxiety attack (idfk what triggered it but i'm okay now) and to calm myself down, I pretended Lafayette was cuddling me. And it helped. (Stfu madeline) No more googling llamas to stop my anxiety.

I put lots of quotable shit bc i v wiiiise-

~~~

Y/n laid on her bed, knees weak, arms heavy, vomit on her sweater already, Mom's spagetti.

Okay, maybe minus the sweater part.

She was having another one of those moments. That moment when she felt like all was wrong, like she wasn't right. Like her brain was being juiced in a blender and sloely poyred back into her skull. Like her sanity dripped away into the drain, never to be seen or heard of again.

Her stomach was filled with jitters and her head throbbed with anxiety. Her chest tightened and her limbs went numb. Beads of sweat formed on her back and nape as her breath quicken drastically.

She was familiar to all of this however.

She knows what it's like having an anxiety attack. The feeling that you're sanity is going away, that feeling of hopelessness.

Her chest tightning was something she was acustomed to. The numb limbs were something engraved in her mind. The incoming insanity was a friend, yet anxiety was a foe.

Her arms went slack, but she continued to clutch her abdomen, hoping to squeeze out all the anxiety and nervousness out of her system.

What had triggered the attack was a mystery, but it didn't matter now. She needed to kept calm, she needed this is stop. All the pain, no matter how good it felt, had to stop.

So she thought of the one person who cared for her, Gilbert de Lafayette.

Lafayette was her bestfriend since diapers. They parctically grew up together. He was they through thick and thin, rain or shine, day or night.

He loved Y/n with all his heart and she felt exactly the same, loving him to the end of forever. They started dating maybe a year or two ago, and have never stopped loving each other. Their love was God.

So it is a huge shame that the Gilbert de Lafayette is a mere figure of Y/n's own imagination.

But he was still a good man, no doubt.

And so imaginary boyfriend Lafayette came to Y/n's side. He knelt next to her bed, worry and concern on his nonexistent face.

"Shh, mon amour." He whispered. "Es d'accord." ( excuse my french )

Y/n sobbed, tears falling from her e/c eyes and rolling down her cheeks, soaking her pillow.

Y/n was well aware of his presence and the fact he wasn't really there or... alive, but she enjoyed the company of her own perfect boyfriend.

She pulled a pillow and buried her in it, imagining it was the chest of her beloved Lafayette.

She pictured him stroking her back, holding her close, protecting her in his loving arms. She imagined his face buried deep into her h/c hair, whispering sweet things into her ear, calming her down.

And it was working.

She could feel the knot in her gut soften, her breathing steadied. Her legs were still numb but it was getting there.

"I am 'ere. Nothing can 'urt you. Not now, not ever." He whispered, his rich French accent flowing his honey, soothing Y/n.

"I... I'm scared."

"You do not 'ave to be, chaton." Lafayette said, his nonexistent hands stroking Y/n's back.

She pulled the pillow closer, squeezing it tighter. She wanted the pain to end. She didn't like this. She wanted this all to end.

"Mon amour, do not worry. I will save you." He said.

"I... I wanna die." She whispered back. "I want this to end."

"Dying will only make things 'urt more." Laf said. "You can't look forward to death when you have your whole life waiting for you to live it."

"What's worth living when all that comes is pain?"

"What's worth dying when pain is temopary."

"Well, maybe for some but--"

"You are strong. You've lived this long, you can survive the rest of your life!"

"But..."

"Listen, okay cherie, nothing in this world is gonna make things worse. All this, it will be gone in a matter of days. But if you die, no one will forget for years. I love you, I will fight for you. But only if you fight for yourself, if you will fight for me."

Y/n's bottom lip quivered, but she nodded anyways. "I... je t'aime."

"I love you too."

They cuddled (Y/n hugged her pillow) for a few more hours before Y/n fell asleep, all the pain and suffering tossed aside on the fire escape.

"Even if we cannot be together 'ere, I promise, in another world-- another life, I will be there for you, mon amour."

~~~

A/n: hngg that was cute but rlly short

If you ever experience problems, feel free to talk with friends, family, or even me.

Bye luvs! ♡