This is basically a crack chapter

Ship requested by xxLavender_Foxx

James sighed, walking into his and his fiancé's apartment. Right as he opened the door, the fumes coming from the burnt grilled cheese that was residing on a melted pan on top of a stovetop, which was currently on fire.

"What the f-" James muttered, completely confused and impressed by the scene in front of him. "THOMAS!?"

"YEAH!?" Thomas shouted back, presumably from their room.

"DID YOU FORGET THE GRILLED CHEESE THATS CURRENTLY ON FIRE!?"

"OH SHIT!" Thomas yelled, shortly followed by a loud thud, followed by more cursing before the ever-so-graceful Thomas Jefferson emerged from the bedroom, wrapped up in a blanket burrito.

James sighed, walking towards his fiancé, helping him out of the burrito. "What am I gonna do with you?"

"Hey, what is that supposed to mean!?" Thomas asked, grabbing a fire extinguisher, spraying the grilled cheese and stove.

"Thomas, you're basically a 7 year old in a 29 year olds body." James argued, cleaning up his fiancés mess. "I'm now gonna have to take away your cooking privileges."

"Aw, c'mon, Jemmy!" Thomas whined. "I'm an adult!"

"Just because you're legally an adult doesn't make you one, Tommy." James grabbed a bottle of air freshener, spraying the entire can over the kitchen, poorly masking the smell. "I'm gonna order some pizza, since someone decided to burn down our kitchen."

Thomas scoffed, flopping himself on the couch. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't fix the kitchen, Thomas." James crosses his arms, walking towards Thomas. "The landlord's gonna have our asses for this!"

"I'll just pay him." Thomas countered, his voice being muffled by the cushions.

"Thomas, you can't go through life just throwing money at people." James argued, getting $1.50 thrown in his face in return, making the shorter man sigh. "That's it."

He swiftly picked up his fiance, and carried him to his cousins apartment (which was on the floor above them), dumping him in front of their door, quickly knocking.

Lafayette opened the door, visibly confused. "James? Why is Thomas on the floor?" He took a quick glance at his older cousin. "And acting like an overgrown toddler?"

"He burned down our kitchen, so he's y'all's problem for tonight." James said, already walking away. "Good luck!"

Lafayette groaned, dragging his cousin in the apartment, grabbing the attention from his boyfriend, who was reading on the couch. He gave Laf a look before he mouthed 'Long story'. Hercules sighed, putting his book up, and getting up. He walked over to Thomas, who was just laying there, letting Laf drag him.

"Get up." Herc said. "You're not 5."

"Yes I am." Thomas said simply, not moving.

Laf rolled his eyes, dropping his cousins arms. "Lève-toi Thomas, avant que je ne téléphone à ta mère." (Get up Thomas, before i call your mother)

Thomas looked up, not moving. "Vous n'oseriez pas..." (you wouldn't dare)

Laf smirked, grabbing his phone. "Essayez-moi, salope." (Try me, bitch)

Thomas groaned, getting up. "Fiiiiiiiiiiine." He whined. He walked over to the couch, flopping on it yet again. "Jemmy hates me nowwwwwww."

Herc walked over to the tall male, who was way too tall for their couch. "No he doesn't." He said calmly, trying to calm the man-child. "He's just angry, is all. Hell, i doubt he's even angry. But he isn't going to call off the wedding for this."

Thomas sniffled. "H-he isn't?"

Herc chuckled. "Of course not, dumbass. Why would he?"

Thomas sat up, tears flowing from his cheeks. "I fucked up."

Laf slapped Thomas. "Langue!" (Language)

"Tu as dit chienne plus tôt!" (You said bitch earlier)

"Oui, mais c'était en français, et Hercules ne parle pas français!" (Yes, but it was in French, and Hercules doesn't speak French)

While the two argued, Herc got a text from James.

JemmyJames: I miss him

NeedsNoIntroduction: Then come get him. But hurry up before Laf kills him in French.

JemmyJames: Got it

A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door. Herc got up and opened it to find his tiny cousin. James looked behind Herc to find Laf literally beating the shit out of Thomas with a baguette, yelling curses in French.

"Thomas, your hubby is here!" Herc yelled, making Laf stop beating the shit out of Thomas. "Now go."

Thomas nodded, quickly getting up and running behind James, visibly shaking. James looked at Laf, confused and concerned.

"Herc, I don't think it's Thomas I have to fear." James muttered, pointing to Laf, who was busy fixing his hair.

"No, it isn't." Herc replied. "But I'm too scared of my boyfriend to stop him unless I have to."

James nodded, grabbing his fiancés hand, quickly heading back home, where the rest of the night was uneventful.

758 words

Yes, I got lazy at the end