Requested by: Booknrd187

"John, would you like to read over this letter for me? I would rather get your opinion before making myself sound as though I were a fool."

Standing up from his chair, a bright eyed John Laurens peered up from the book he had in hand. Something in his eyes twinkled at the request from Alexander. There was a little tickling feeling in his stomach, that he would never out loud admit; were butterflies.

Reaching his arm out to take the letter, John raised his eyebrows. Alexander looked up for what seemed to be the first time in hours, and their eyes met. Yet again, those little butterflies grew in John's stomach.

He gulped before nodding. "I'd be glad to read that letter for you." As if sensing the tension, Alexander drummed his fingers on the desk, staring at his friend for quite a long time before handing over the letter.

Their hands briefly touched, both men blushing at the intimacy exchanged. Alexander shoved his glasses further on his face, avoiding John's eyes.

The grandfather clock on the wall ticked loudly, signaling that it was now late in the evening hours. They had been working for almost the whole day, writing and arguing issues that needed to be addressed. Although they knew they should head their separate ways, the men didn't want the day to end.

Tapping his foot along the wooden floorboards, John read through the letter, fingers subconsciously running along each and every ink printed letter. Alexander watched his friend read along the letter, taking note to the creases of concentration etched on John's face.

"Well?" Alexander tried not to sound impatient. However, he knew the longer he held off sending this letter, the more trouble he would receive.

John nodded, placing the letter gently back down on the desk. There was a moment of silence before he said, "That letter needs to be sent now, Alexander. You mustn't spend a day more stressing over any General's thought."

Picking the piece of parchment up, chuckling, Alexander replied, "I appreciate that, it will be sent tomorrow morning, as early as possible."

The candles around the room flickered as John circled around Alexander's desk. His shadow moved along the wall, slowly but surely. The way the light of the dancing flames landed on his face, made him look vulnerable and much unlike his usual carefree self.

At that moment, Alexander turned around, noticing how the temperature in the room had changed, and how his friend was looking at him differently. In the back of his mind, he told himself to tell John to leave, but he ignored it.

The more John looked at Alexander, at his jawline, at his messy hair that was falling from its ponytail, he felt his feelings start to subside and take over him. There was no denying the relationship between the two of them. Through their letters, they shared a more profound way of expressing their friendship.

At this point, they had never discussed their exchanges in letters aloud. There had been some eye glances on the field, suggestive smiles in the streets, but never anything too great that would change the course of their relationship.

Although John desperately wanted to tell Alexander how he felt in words, out loud, to feel loved, he stopped himself. Alexander was to be married to Eliza, only a few months from then. He couldn't take that undeniable future from them. He just couldn't.

Seeing his friend frozen in the middle of the room, staring into space, Alexander whispered, "John? Are you alright?"

He didn't expect it, but John turned and faced him, with tears in his eyes. Suddenly worried for his dear Laurens, he gripped the edge of his desk. "Are you alright?" He repeated the question, keeping a firm gaze upon the younger man.

John seemed to be thinking, as his mouth opened and shut quite a few times, not able to express the words he wanted. In defeat of his own mind, John murmured, "I'm fine." He grabbed his coat from the hanger, shifting on his feet.

Alexander stood up, taking off his glasses as he did so. "Must you leave so soon?" He strode across the candlelit room towards Laurens, who had a change in attitude. "I should be going, it's late." John didn't know what to do, he knew if Alexander got any closer, he might do something he would regret.

Within seconds, both men were closer than they had been before. Alexander raised an eyebrow, making his friend look him in the eyes. "Is everything alright?" John felt his throat tighten up, and those same butterflies emerge.

John could feel himself breathing deeper than he was a few seconds ago. His chest was so close to Alexander's that he could feel his own friend's breathing. Although he told himself not to over and over in his head, John felt himself leaning forward.

Alexander didn't need an answer to his many questions. When he noticed John was leaning forward, with a desperate, needing look in his eyes, he felt himself do the same.

They were just barely inches apart when John snapped back, remembering what he had told himself. Eliza, he thought. Furiously hoisting his coat on, he reached for the door handle.

Alexander blinked a few times. They had been so close to doing heaven knows what, and then John had just stopped. Feeling slightly disappointed, he desperately said, "John."

John had the door open, almost halfway out of the room by the time he heard his name. He turned around, staring deeply at Alexander. Yet again he felt weak, too mesmerized in the man in front of him.

He wanted to say something. But he couldn't bring the words to. Looking at a vaguely flustered Alexander, John shook his head.

Not able to answer the man who stood before him, he ducked out of the room. Alexander reached his hand momentarily, before letting fall to his side. Holding back his sudden tears, he stepped forward, shutting the door.

Neither man would ever forget that moment, as they would hold it close to their hearts. They knew that would be the closest they would get to ever exchanging their feelings not on paper.

And broke each of them even more knowing that would be as close as they would to getting to what they truly wanted.

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A/N: Thank you Booknrd187 for requesting this one shot! I really liked writing this, as Alexander and John's relationship is, well you know! Will be posting another one shot either tonight or tomorrow, thank you for all the requests and kind feedback.