I've had this one shot for the longest time. So i decided to finally finish it and stop being a lazy ass

Hey. My name is john laurens. And i love turtles and drawing. Sometimes i even paint if im the mood. But i never really liked one thing about me...

Im fat.

I have milky white stretch marks to prove it. There all over my legs. My thighs are thicc, and my stomach is like floppy and i dont like it. I always wear baggy hoodies and pants. Even though you can see my extremely thicc thighs through the damn pants. I often look in the mirror and see,

Well just me.

That fat one in the shadows who gets made fun of sometimes. I even started a diet. Im eating less, and sometimes not at all. I hate my double chin, i hate the way i sit down and my thighs expand to the size of texas, and i hate the way i eat so much food.

I hate that no one will love me...

I sit at my fav spot at my fav coffee shop. Im just chillin in the corner on my phone scrolling through Instagram. And i see someone at the corner of my eye.

A nice looking man was just across from me. He was on a laptop madly typing. He had semi long hair, like right at his shoulders, and he wore a hoodie and pants. There was alot of coffee cups around him. He must of been there awhile huh? His face looked nice... Even though he had bags under his eyes and maybe he looks like he hasn't slept in a while, still has a nice face.

My inner gay man is kicking in dammit-

He catches me staring at him and i immediately look away. My face was heating up. Be calm john. Just avoid eye contact. Oh frick he's coming!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH

"Hey man." This hot motherfucker said while sitting across from me. I mumble a little "hi." At him and look down at my thighs. My hair was down and i had my hood on, so i could hide my face somewhat. "My name is Alexander Hamilton, whats yours?" He says super causally like social anixety doesn't even exist in him.

"John laurens." I say softly still avoiding eye contact with him. Im super shy around people, and if you approach me, im the most quietest person you'll ever meet. (Me) i say nothing, and a silence tension is starting to take over this small talk. But then alex speaks up. "Your very quiet dude. Are you ok?" He asks seeming concerned.

"Im fine." I reply smiling. If anyone could ever tell thw difference between a.real.smile and a fake one, mine would be fake.right now. Because im everything but fine.

Oh how i wish i was ok again. This dude is horrible at making a conversation, and i want to leave. "Um.. Ima just go, i gotta feed my  turtle. Sorry." I rush out and i get into my car.

I lean my head on the steering wheel, and say, "fuck my life."

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*exhales*

Was this ok? Pls leave some feed back. If anyone cares about this...