Passed on from one of my Wattpad followers, was an Annual Wattpad Roasts book created by the user ALTaccounti and I had the pleasure of receiving an exclusive Wattpad roasts book review of the very book you just finished reading. I made a request that the roasts review be done before March of 2023 as that was the month the 10th grade Personal Project was due, and I intended to have the review added into this book before the publishing process was complete. He made sure to complete that request which is something I am eternally grateful for.

The creator (his name is Benji) of the roasts review book introduced himself, (and I quote) as a "smexy, holy, goldly, smoking hot, beautiful, mesmerizing, 6 packed, absolute chad, Benji of the most charismatic gods of earth"! And the sense of humor following that is what hooked me. 

When Benji released the roasts review for Hallucinations, my face lit up. Little did I know, I would end up wheezing and cry-laughing from reading this masterpiece during Advisory.

Trigger Warnings: MEANT TO BE HUMOROUS topics of foul language, drugs/alcohhol, suicide, and cruel humor are used in this section. If any of these will be triggering for you, I suggest skipping this part, or reading with caution.

Everything written in this exclusive roasts review is made out of comedic gold and meant to be offending/insulting in a good, humorous way. Benji was kind enough to put in my request to have this done before March of 2023, and would not mean to actually hurt my feelings, even though the last bit targeted at me, the author, is brutal (laughed through it through). I will be adding my little thoughts as to what he wrote with the asterisk symbol and italicized font *like this*

Ladies and gentlemen. Boys and girls. This, in his own writing (I have copied everything with permission), is Benji's roasts review of Hallucinations:

Parody Summary:

Dear reader, I wish I could tell you that it ends well.

So I suppose you want to ask me how I found out that you own a Harry Styles gay fanfic under ya bed? *uhm*

Let me spell it out for you: You got no maidens!

On the outside; I was Fortnite dancing around the world. Yet, on the inside; I was an edgy teen trying to be cool.

Why, do you ask, am I trapped into this clock of never ending oblivion?

Uhh I don't think we asked or care but sure go ahead......

Simple, the mushrooms I ate when I went to the park. You know I am kinda low on money this month T-T.

Anyways they come without plans or warning? Their only goals? Showing me that I gotta stop being a complaining loser? What the hell?

My name is Nina Jenay Montez, I don't know you, but you know me.

Ummm missy we never wanted to meet you, we would rather rent a bf/gf to talk to.

No please Reader, I beg you to step into my world!! I have no friends, no boy likes me, and my parents want to disown me for being a drug addict. JUST PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE HERE!!

Okay, okay jeez, we will stay...

Will the reader actually stay and laugh at Nina's suffering or will they be bored and leave? Read "Mushroominations" to find out! *I'D READ THAT*

Chapter 1

Okay so the moment I got transported from a world called the intro this random lady instantly goes on a whole poetry acid trip, like does she think that we care about this no friend sorry ass? NOPE. This nina girl is being thrown into an ambulance idk if she tried to kill herself but let's find out. *felt the slight tugs of a smile reading this*

That ain't important tho as Nina over here got that morphine shot and went OH MAH GOD THAT IS THE STUFF!!! I mean we always knew that you were drug junkie but attempting suicide just to get a small pain killing injection? Hall nah you have reached a new low. This is exactly why you will never have a friend that will actually love you. *full on smiling now*

Damn Nina passed out so good that the morphine ascended her to a higher plain of existence, apparently all angels are jacked sex symbols that do heroin and play drums. I think that's too much of self inserting Nina, because the last thing you are is a sex symbol, bro idk how you look like but it must be close to a skeleton.

Anyways she woke up and is finally at the hospital where she is getting high from the weird liquid that flows in your veins. I never understood what the shit even does, but for crackheads like her it must feel like heaven lmao.

Damn imagine waking up and calling the world filthy. Listen Nina, it ain't our fault that you like eating weird mushrooms that are clearly not made for that purpose. Just because every boy that comes in your 20 foot radius instantly wants to hang themselves when they see you, doesn't mean the world is filthy, they simply want to clean their vision of you.

Bruh this bitch complains about the "Get Well" sentences she received from the ratatouille ass looking nurse *I DIED*. What do you want to hear? That you should kill yourself because you don't got any single ounce of value in this world? I mean I guess we gotta tell you the truth then next time. Don't complain if we hurt your feelings tho lmao.

Welp Nina went druggo mode again and got crushed by cardboard boxes. That's fun. *I snorted here*

Anyways what's weird is that they DON'T GIVE HER MEDICINE FOR THIS SHIT???? THIS GIRL IS CLEARLY MAD AND CRAY CRAY!!!! Fr what these nurses and doctors even study? Listen up, if $100 one hour body anatomy, doesn't make you a professional, yet these people walk around with such qualifications.

Bro imagine some random ass girl only to put her ass to sleep because her existence is too much of a pain to deal with. At least Nina is happy that she got another needle in her veins injecting that sweet sleeping liquid.

Bro these doctors are just tripping over everything at this point. Who the fuck hired these 1 IQ mofos. HOW DID THEY EVEN GET INTO MEDICAL SCHOOL??!! I am surprised if their parents didn't disown them yet, because these doctors are so worthless that my own dump has higher value to society as a whole.

At least Nina went out drugged and laughing. However she has no rights to do so as she is just as bad as these gremlin looking ass doctors, or even worse.

Bro imagine walking up and they just tell you that you have to live with your hallucinations like GIVE HER SOME FUCKING PILLS YOU DUMB FUCKS!!!! PRESCRIBE HER SOMETHING WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE EVEN WORKING YOU FUCKERS ADD NOTHING TO HOSPITAL!!!! *thats a lot of fucks*

LMAO!!!!

Lisa (rat nurse) just told Nina to cope. Nina: -inserts meme- L Bozo. *THE RAT FACE NURSE IS GLADYUS*

Nina has no cure for her condition just how she got no cure for having no boyfriend.

Chapter 2

Okay so we meet another spoiled white girl that looks like the second coming of Christ, with fake green eyes and blonde extensions. *I can't even respond to this*

She also likes to eat random ass mushrooms too so she got them mad hallucinations too, only she is scared of pigeons and jumping spiders (even though they are cute asf I wanna hold one fr). Or for short, to make it easier; she is just a coward.

Imagine being scared of birds hahahahaha what a loser!!!

Bro she out here thinking pelicans are clones of Donald Trump, I mean, they kinda look similar. -inserts pelican/Trump meme- Damn I can see the resemblance from a mile away.

JeSUS ChristSUS Kathy (this girls name) is the biggest normie ever. Her entire life revolves around cheap American state trips and cat videos on Instagram. I can't even decide who's life is more meaningless, Nina or Kathy? Damn it's a hard choice fr.

Yeah uhhh they made a song but uhhh but I just don't give a fuck so let me try to give my own spin on it...

EHMMMMM!!!

Just Benji (my artist name if I ever wanted to be one lmao) - Summer Shit

We're all going to Summer Shit

No more twerking for a week or two

Dirty thoughts and cheat takeout at our Summer Shit

More ugly bastards for me and you

For a week or two

Summertime, and the livin' be cringing

Thoughts are shitting and the diarrhea is high

Oh, your mother is trash, your father homeless

So hush you failure of a being and please cry

Oh the summer of 2018

I can't wait to barf all over you

This can't be some summer love, cuz I can't see

I got no bitches for the summer

Now we know it's nearly over

Feels like the summer shitshow

But I will always remember

I wish they could all be...

I wish they could all be...

I wish they could all be maidenless in California just like me

Summertime, and the livin' be cringing

Thoughts are shitting and the diarrhea is high

Oh, your mother is trash, your father homeless

So hush you failure of a being and please cry

Me and some hideous mofos from Minnesota

Had a band and tried real hard

Nina had skill issue and Kathy is crying

I should've known we'd never get boys

Oh the summer of 2018

Summer shitting me depressed, hell yeah

Summer shitting on me happened so fast

Summer break shifting away

To, UwU, that summer break

Yeah, the summer of 2018

EVERYONE GIVE AN APPLAUSE I CAN FINALLY SHOW MY BASED LYRICAL SKILLS FUCK YESSSSS!!!!!!

Lmao moving on!

Apparently Kathy and Nina were too broke to buy Uno so they made up their own shit named Dos.

Me rn: -inserts meme of cringing egg-

Next!

Chapter 3

(Geez this chappie is short but I am not complaining, yeah I am looking at you -inserts fLOoPyNoOdLe013x Wattpad username-).

This chapter is basically Kathy reciting some cringe ass quotes from some random goth fanfiction and then they self-reflect that nobody would ever love them plus die single!!!

Like I appreciate the thought but we legit don't give a single damn fuck that you people are wretched. Take some cocaine or something, maybe that will let you go to some kind of paradise. Wait nvm you girls already do that.

NEXT!

Chapter 4

Okay so more Kathy shit...

Nina described her hospital room and the moment I read "BTS poster" I have lost any single ounce of respect for this person. Man, makes sense why you locked up here in the first place. Kathy is in need of therapy for real as she is forcing herself to listen to the most garbage band ever formed in human existence if only she had people around that could have shown her what good music taste is. However, it's already established that nobody except for Nina gives a fuck about her, so better enjoy that future stage 4 ear cancer because that is all you get from listening to BTS.

Bro listen I will say this again good that you get some therapy session BUT GIVE THESE BURDENS OF SOCIETY EITHER SOME ANTIDEPRESSANT OR ANTIPSYCHOTIC THERE IS NO FUCKING COPE ONLY ENDLESS SUFFERING!!!!!! *I-...*

Okay so they were watching some trash on TV and then Kathy went all demonic on her ass. It felt as if she got possessed by a demon in a B money and was too broke to afford SFX.

The nurses came in with the bible but it didn't work for some reason, so they went with the good old Anesthesia and Kathy met her daily drug quota to upkeep her addiction.

Chapter 5

Nina needs Kathy and her mom (her mom likes to use the excuse that she is working hard because she doesn't want to be around her crazy and dumbass daughter anymore and enjoy her vacation in Dubai). She gets pretty much confronted by the fact that nobody cares about her. Nina starts being an asshole and the doctor just puts her in her place for being a waste of oxygen, which is just pure facts.

The doctor told her mom that Nina is pure trash which is just reality, but of course he got fired since she's delusional, ugly and stupid ass customers are always right. However this time it's not the customers, but a mentally unstable gremlin and her failure of a mom. *the word gremlin is very funny to me in this roasts review*

But hey now they don't have therapy anymore and still don't receive pills so finally Nina and Kathy can go insane together!!!!!

YAY I AM SOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY FOR THEMMM!!!!

DONE!!!!

Yo I think this author must have had the biggest drinking session after all her friends left her in the dust because this story reads like depression fever dream. I genuinely think after this book got finished the author went to a mental asylum because she couldn't handle her own garbage which she managed to get on paperback and in her high school library lmao. After these 5 chapters I constantly drank back a bottle of whiskey every day just to keep the last bit of my sanity intact because of how bad this book truly is. *AGAIN: THIS IS CRUDE HUMOR, HE DOESN'T REALLY MEAN THIS*

Drugs and Needles/10 would rather go inside me now rather than read another page of this story.

JUST KIDDING.

Final Review:

Well I can say that this was a short read and think that it conveys on a pretty good level what it is like to have severe hallucinations. (But I wonder if Nina and Kathy suffer from Schizophrenia). You can learn about a thing or two in this book that might have a message too. So if you like more hmmmm... grounded? (idk if it's the right word but let's go with it. I ain't a professional book reviewer, like I legit have only one brain cell for fucks sake lmao). This book is definitely for you and you should check it out.

P.S. Wanna destroy your pride? Apply at the Forms!

P.S.S. With this, I have finished your request Sophie. Good luck getting those fresh copies in your High School's library! By the way, I saw hints of the romance genre in there... I am a sucker for that shit so I might read further into your book on my own later. *Benji, that is so sweet*

Author link: (my user) Fuck you Wattpad for never making the link work *actually a real Wattpad struggle*

Thank you Benji. This took me a while to type out due to doing this at school, because I wanted to get this section done as soon as possible, but in the end: It is worth it!