I wasn't starving.

     Nor was I hungry. I pushed my plate of lunch a couple of inches away from me, resting my head on the table. My eyes were strained and tired as I tried to stay awake. I yawned to myself, staring at the tiled ground. My eyes followed the shadow heading towards me as I heard a slight thud. Jungkook had tossed his backpack onto the table along with some couple of books, that were probably borrowed from the library.

     "Don't you have any friends to sit with?"

I shook my head honestly. I had no friends. Each time I made a friend, they would slowly betray me. They waited for the right moment. My "friends" would talk about me behind my back and say cruel words. They admitted they were shameless. They never cared about my opinion. Selfish, disgusting... No, I couldn't dare to even call them people. They had not a single humanity left in them. Liars and hypocrites.

They would laugh as they turned against me, left me blindfolded in the dark in hopes of a savior or help, at the least. And I cried — praying for someone to save me from this never-ending loop of letting go.

Friends don't exist. They're just imaginations to keep you happy and make you feel as if you're part of something — part of a group. Because of "friends," I don't believe in anything at all, not even myself. They lie and they stab you in the back. I had no remorse or forgiveness left inside of me. I was like a warrior. Fighting for my life and I will not give up.

I felt a small fire crackling inside of me, slowly becoming a bigger one. My hands gripped onto my pants as I tried to calm myself down. I'm...pathetic.

A tear escapes.

It was one tear. Then comes another and now, it's like a rainfall. A stream of tears came as I sobbed to myself. Jungkook shook my hand, asking me what's wrong. Everyone was now staring at us with confused faces. "I want to be alone. Please," my voice was hoarse and low. I grabbed all my stuff and stormed towards the girl's bathroom. I hid inside of a stall, crying till the rest of the lunch period was over.

-

     I felt sick.

     Not figuratively, but for real. I raised my hands if I could go to the bathroom, but the teacher refused to let me go. Sweat glistened on my forehead. My face and lips went pale in color. I felt dizzy and my eyesight was getting blurrier by the moment. My hands were shaking. I tried to stop them from shaking by gripping onto the edge of the table, but it was no use.

     "Teacher! I think you should let Mi Rae use the bathroom. You seem to not see the problem, but she looks like she's sick," a voice calls out.

Jungkook smiles at me reassuringly. "Oh really? Go then," the teacher didn't even bother looking at me. I ran into the girl's bathroom and into the stall, not bothering to close the door. I hurled into the toilet. A hand held me hair up, keeping it from getting covered with vomit. I grabbed the toilet paper and wiped my mouth, throwing it into the toilet before flushing.

I sat down and held my knees close to my chest. I cried quietly to myself, repeating the same words over in my thoughts. You're disgusting, Mi Rae. They were the same words that my first friend called me when she betrayed me. I couldn't get them out of my head. Jungkook hugged me in his arms, letting my emotions pour out.

     I feel like lies are being poured on me. Every single drop of it sinks into my skin, soaking the words that were used behind my back. My eyes are filled with sadness to the brim. You're sick, I say to myself. Disgusting to humanity. But what am I then? I'm nothing — just made up of matter within a universe.

Jungkook pats my back, trying to comfort me. My tears stop, but I continue to stay in the same position, unwilling to let go.

"Can we stay like this for now?" I asked.

He nodded, running his fingers through my soft brown hair. "You know. It's a matter of choice, whether you choose to be strong or weak. No one can tell you what to do. It's your life. You can shape it and mold it," he brushes the tears away with his thumb.

     I feel his warm, minty breath tickle my neck. My arms are wrapped around his neck. I noticed his features — his white skin, his brown eyes, and his lips. He stared into my eyes as I stared into his.

     "What are you staring at?" He asked with a smirk, trying to cheer me up.

     "I should say the same about you," I joked. He leaned closer as my eyes fluttered close. As we were about to kiss, the bathroom door slammed open. We jumped up and I locked the bathroom stall. Jungkook closed the toilet and stood on it. I push his head down since he was too tall. His face was close to mine as I heard the water rushing. I hear the person dry their hands with a paper towel and leave the bathroom.

     We both sighed in relief before laughing. "Your laugh is pretty," he whispers. My cheeks turn red quickly. "You should probably get off the toilet now," I pointed out, ignoring his compliment. He jumped off the toilet, leaving us with a small space.

     "Date me," he says bluntly. It was less like a question and more like a demand.

     My eyes widen in shock as I gave no response. I rushed to unlock the bathroom stall, but Jungkook locks it again. "If you want to get out, answer my question," he looked me in the eyes. My heart was pumping so fast that I even considered to crawl under the door, to escape.

     And something saved me.

     The growl of my stomach.

     How embarrassing.

~

YES. I was literally cringing while I wrote this. AND LEL, I TOTALLY DID THAT BY PURPOSE WHEN THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO KISS. But when I wrote the friendship part, I was really sincere about it. I've gone through times where friends would talk behind my back and today, I went through that because my "friend" called me obsessive and joked that she could continue to talk behind my back. This is why I wish I could just die. I apologize for this stupid note. I really feel like crying.

From your author,
Flora Lee