Thain walked with me a ways until we reached the street that would lead me to Schula's apartment. I felt light, light a weight had lifted off my shoulders. There was already pressure from the courts to be swayed to their side, and pressure from Baeleon to learn magic. There was even a very real pressure of my seal that burned my back and begged to be released. But now at least there was no pressure from the strain between me and Thain.

We said our goodbyes and I walked the short few blocks back to Schula's apartment by myself. Some stared, but I ignored them as I hurried back. I climbed the stairs quickly, until a weigh dropped onto my shoulder and nearly knocked me over the railing.

"Caw!"

"Puko!" I hissed at the fat black bird that had landed on my shoulder. "I know Mama Flori gave you bread this morning. You better not be begging for food."

"Caw!"

I rolled my eyes and continued up the steps with the raven on my shoulder. The noise was sufficient to announce my return, because Schula was swinging the door open as I reached the top.

"Well? What happened?" She didn't wait for an answer before pulling me inside. She waived Puko off to his usual windowsill and sat me down to the table, two steaming pork pies already unwrapped and waiting to be eaten.

"Lunch?" I asked.

"Yes, from downstairs. Now, what happened? If he didn't apologize I'll have to go beat it out of him," Schula said.

"No, he did. He said he was sorry for how he acted and that he wished I hadn't seen that beastly side of him. And then we reached an agreement so he can do what his King asked and train me in magic. It's okay now, we're fine." I smiled and bit into a pie. It was delicious, but it burned my mouth and I reached for the pitcher of water in the middle of the table.

"His beast was coming out?" Schula mumbled. "He does have a... wilder side. When he pulls that out it's hard for him to put it away. I suppose the Wyldes made him a little more beast than the rest of us."

"What does that mean?" I asked around another mouthful of pie.

"When you very first met Thain, he had just slain a band of raiders, right?"

I nodded and swallowed. "Yes, he killed them all in only a few minutes. It was probably quite a sight to see."

"Right," she said. "And do you remember how he acted after? Did the Thain you met then seem to be the same as the Thain you know now?"

I stopped eating to think about it. The answer surprised me a bit.

"No," I said. "He was really unsettling actually. He was quiet, not that that's new for Thain, but he was too quiet. And his movements were so... precise maybe? Deliberate? He scared me quite a bit. Looking back, he really wasn't the Thain I've come to know."

"He was pulling himself back out of the blood lust," Schula nodded, taking a bite of her own lunch. "Killing one or two things is one thing, but the more he fights the more riled up that side of him gets and the harder it is to pull back."

"I didn't know," I said quietly. "Is it hard on him?"

"Hm, that's hard to say," she said. "On the one hand, it's a part of him. I wouldn't want him to go around hating part of what he is. On the other hand, I've seen his struggles to contain it on the battlefield. You'd have to ask Thain if it's hard on him, I'm not sure."

"You've seen him on a battlefield?" I gasped. "I mean, I guess I knew he must have been on one. Thousands of years old and as much of a history of war as the Wyldes have, of course he's been in battle. I just never stopped to think about it before."

"Oh he's been in battle. He's terrifying too. One of the best in Autumn. The problem is, you can't control him once he really lets go, you just have to unleash him in the right direction and let him do his worst."

I shivered. "I don't know if I want to see that."

"No sane person wants to see war," Schula said. "But if it comes to it, be glad Thain is on our side. Here, why don't we talk about something else?"

"Yes, please," I sighed. "Oh yes! We're all going out to dinner tonight!"

"Are we?" Schula smiled. "That sounds lovely."

"Yes, Thain said we could all to eat together tonight, now that everyone is in the same place again. We should probably pack after lunch so we don't have to worry about it tonight." I stuffed more pie in my face, ready to finish eating and get ready.

"Slow down before you give yourself a stomach ache," Schula laughed. "We'll pack, and then what do you say we go by Pearl Street before dinner? For once I think you should get to pick out your own clothes."

I grinned, Puko cawed, and we stuffed our mouths as quickly as we could.

Pearl Street was waiting.

~

I hadn't thought much about the importance of clothes until I came to Thanantholl. In the mountains, I wore dresses to town and pants to work in. Few cared what they actually looked like, and everyone wore the same style with little variation.

Here it was different. Certainly I had come to expect certain colors or ways to tie or tight leggings, but the variety to choose from, even with those limitations in Thanantholl, were abundant.

Schula and I walked Pearl Street browsing the shop windows and listening to the chatter of the other shoppers. A window caught my eye in the distance while Schula was inspecting daggers in the window of a smithery.

"Can I go on ahead?" I asked. "I think I see something interesting."

"Sure, I'll be right behind you." Schula barely acknowledged me for her intense inspection of a curved blade in front of her. It was beautiful I suppose, but not knowing much about blade-craft I wasn't very interested.

Instead, I turned towards the garment that caught my eye.

A dusty rose dress with silver stitching that would lace at the sides and scooped low on my chest. The wide sleeves went to the elbows and the skirts swept to the floor.

It was hung in a little store window off to the side, not quite still on Pearl Street but close enough that it was in plain sight. I pressed my face to the glass, eagerly taking in every stitch.

"You sure know how to pick an outfit," Schula had come up behind me as I was pressed to the window. I didn't miss the new dagger at her hip.

"It looks so soft," I said. "I've never seen anything such a pretty color before."

"Well, come on then," Schula pulled my elbow until I stumbled, following her to the door. "Of course we're going to try it on after you said that."

I didn't protest, that's how much I like the dress. The shop was run by a russet fae with dainty spikes along her head, poking out from her tight braid. She was the designer, tailor, and shopkeeper all in one. Schula chatted with her as I tried the dress on.

I was relieved to see that the back was as low as it could go without actually revealing my seal. Schula checked and double checked for me, and we left with the dress on her insistence.

We left, bag in hand and ready to find something for Schula.

The afternoon was light and peaceful, until we encountered her.

Schula had insisted on stopping for honeyed pecans, which I didn't argue with in the slightest. We were walking down Pearl Street, sharing our snack and window shopping when I ran into something solid.

"Oof!" I stumbled back, blinking and getting my bearings. I had run into someone.

A fae with vicious green eyes glowered at me.

"Watch where you're going, young one," she spat.

"Hey," Schula growled. "You ran into her. You ran out of nowhere."

"It's okay," I put a hand on Schula's arm to calm her. "I'm sorry Ma'am. I didn't mean to."

She grunted and stuck her nose up at me and turned to Schula. "Watch your tone, frost curse. Some of us belong here."

She shoved past us, hitting her shoulders into us as she walked on. Schula, who's hackles were raised a moment ago had fallen somber. I watched the female leave and turned to Schula, concerned.

"What was that?" I asked quietly.

Schula shook her head and cast her eyes to the ground.

"She lost a son to the sickness," a voice trailed to us from the nearest shop doorway. A sprite was setting out a display of ornate candles in the window but had stopped to watch us. "I think she doesn't take as kindly to your miraculous survival as the rest of us."

My lips parted as my jaw slacked. I turned back the direction the female had disappeared to, but she wasn't there any longer. I had thought all the fae were glad to have a survivor, even if it was me.

"Oh don't take her too serious," the sprite shrugged. "She's still mourning, it takes time. Even if there are a few of those that resent their loved one's deaths, most of us are happy for you. We all lost someone to that plague. You'd have to be pretty selfish to hold someone's survival against them."

I clutched the bag with my dress close to my chest as I turned back to the sprite. "Did you lose someone too?"

She nodded. "Aye, plenty. But don't worry after me, I'm not going to keep crying after all these years. They wouldn't want me to anyway. Don't mind her, you just keep going until you find your place. No one should begrudge you that."

She gave me a small smile, which I tried to return, and then she went back to her candles.

Schula remained silent. Her face fell to a stone mask with no emotion. "Come on," she urged softly, and walked us away.

"Are you alright?" I asked.

"I'll be fine. Please, I don't want to dwell on it," she murmured.

"What did she call you? Was that a bad name?" I asked. I had lived through that kind of ridicule for years, I wasn't about to let Schula do the same.

"Look, another dress shop." Schula pulled away from me and towards a bright shop across the street. "I love her work, let's go there next."

She walked ahead, ignoring my questions. I sighed and followed after her.

If she didn't want to talk about it, fine. At least I could be here for her. If forgetting is what she wanted, than it's what we'd do.

"Do you think they would have shoes to match my dress?" I asked.

The corner of her mouth turned up in a smirk. "Now you're talking. Let's find out."