"We need to leave." Eberon paced our room, which really didn't have enough room to be pacing in.

"You need to calm down," Schula huffed at him. "Wren, you're sure he knew Puko from somewhere?"

"Yes. Well, or he was suspicious of him. He asked me a lot of questions about my magic, then Puko came down and interrupted everything."

"You see? We need to get Wren out of here. Our business is done anyway." Eberon stopped pacing, but only for a moment.

"Are we allowed to just leave?" I asked.

"Yes, we aren't prisoners," Eberon scoffed. "They might think it rude to leave so quickly but I'm not letting Diamid poke and prod you until magic happens. That's no way to treat a guest."

"She is due to visit all the courts, Eb." Schula leaned on the table, tapping her chin. "She has a year to do it, we can't just have a two day visit and call it done. The royals are going to demand a lot more than that, and if they have any suspicions that Wren's powers are what kept her alive through the plague then they are going to fight for her favor. That kind of power in your service is too tempting."

"Powers?" I fidgeted. "I'm not powerful, just accident prone. Mil- my friend in the mountains said as much. I'm nothing to fight over!"

"Well, until your powers are out and on display it's going to be hard to convince anyone of that. The kings and queen are going to want to see that for themselves." Schula sighed.

"Have you committed to anything in the next few days?" Eberon turned to me.

"No, I suppose not. I did promise to be here for the Spring Equinox," I said.

"You see? Almost four months away." He gestured wildly to Schula, who rolled her eyes.

"And what excuse are you going to give them?" She scoffed.

"I... something!" He sat in a chair and slouched down.

"Can't I just tell them I want to return to Thanantholl?" I asked.

"Yes," Schula said slowly. "The truth is always better, Diamid will know right away if you outright lie to him. But he still isn't going to like that answer. He's going to assume the Autumn court is trying to keep your attention to ourselves. It could be called suspicious."

"I don't care about suspicious right now, I just want to protect Wren." Eberon said. "Thain would kill me if anything were to happen... ugh! What a mess."

"I don't know what you're protecting her from," Schula said. "Diamid prodding for a glimpse of her power? I'm surprised Baeleon didn't do that already, unless he's trusting Thain to do it for him. If one of the four crowns wants information, they will get it."

"Well what if we said we were to take her to the Winter lands for their solstice? I'm sure Wren is going to receive an invitation for it anyway and it can get us away from here for a while," Eberon said.

Schula made a face. "I suppose..."

"You don't have to like it, you don't even have to come with us, but it's the truth and you know it," Eberon pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

"Yes I know," she snapped. "Alright fine, let's go back to Thanantholl and hopefully Thain will be back shortly. We can talk about what to do next."

"Thank you," Eberon sighed. "Let's pack up, we can leave in the morning."

"We'll need a few more rations for the trip back, although I wish we could leave the carriage and just run. It's faster," Schula said.

"I don't know where the stables are here, I'm assuming I can have the carriage prepared by just about anyone." Eberon mumbled. 

"I can ask, I want to say goodbye to Caldon anyway." Schula added.

"I can buy some road provisions tonight." Eberon stood up again, checking his pockets for his purse. "We'll have to notify King Diamid too, I guess I'll be the lucky one for that."

Eberon ducked into his room for a moment, rummaging through drawers for something.

"Wren, you've been quiet. What's wrong?" Schula asked, turning to me.

I strained a smile. I hadn't told them about Krissaph. I knew Schula would be against it, but something told me she really was on my side. Well, as long as my side entertained her. None of the time spent with the succubus made my seal itch and burn like it did with Diamid, though Puko clearly disliked her for some reason. Still, my instincts told me to keep Krissaph's offer secret for now.

"I'm just stressed out," I said. "I'll be better once we're on the road."

"Is it your seal?" she whispered.

I nodded slightly. "It burned while King Diamid was interrogating me. That's the most it's burned since I've come to the Wyldes. I'm afraid of what would have happened if Puko hadn't shown up when he did."

"Well, he did show up, and you got away from Diamid," Schula said. "But, Wren, they will find out one way or another. You should make sure it's on your terms."

I nodded again as Eberon came out of his rooms with a small book and his pouch filled with coin.

"Right then," Eberon sighed. "Tomorrow we head out."

But there was one thing in my heart I knew I had to do before I could leave. I grabbed the quartz at my neck, biting my lower lip. My treacherous heart seemed to flutter over Caldon, but I knew now that I wasn't ready.

Before bed that night I wrote a simple note. I thanked Caldon, and told him I looked forward to seeing him again someday, but not as lovers. 

Farewell for now, Caldon. Thank you for showing me a side of male attention I never expected to see. For that, I will forever be grateful to you.

~

A light rain chased us out of the Spring lands. I was quiet for most of the ride back, and I think Schula and Eberon knew that was what I needed.

Puko sat on the window next to me the whole way. He didn't leave my side except to eat, and even for that I don't think he gave himself enough time to find much. He had found me immediately upon leaving the palace and I was comforted by his presence.

My sleep was restless and my thoughts wandered. I didn't get to say goodbye to Caldon. Hells, I didn't even know how I really felt about him yet but I regretted the missed opportunity to be with him. I would be back in the spring, but that still seemed so far away. Did he care? What were a few months to an immortal after all?

And Krissaph. Whatever games she was playing with me seemed harmless enough. But I really wanted to know what had happened between her and Schula. Puko didn't seem to like her either, and I questioned any decision involving trusting an unseelie fae. But at this point, with Bryn gone and Mila off who-knows-where with her coven, my handful of trustworthy friends was dwindling. Maybe Krissaph could help me at some point after all.

Rain drizzled, muddying the road ahead and adding a dreary image to go with my heavy mood. I flexed my shoulder blades and tried to subtly scratch my seal. It hadn't calmed down since we left Dwellonmar. I had really hoped that it would.

Schula was right about my seal. The fae royals would find out what secrets I was keeping. I had to decide what to do with my magic. Whether I wanted it or not, it was straining harder to break free every day. Any more prodding and I would burst at the seams. If the four crowns were going to find out what I could do one way or another, I might as well be prepared to use it.

And Thain. We would be back in Thanantholl before him, the border was much further away than Dwellonmar and we hadn't stayed long. I didn't know what to say to him, or even if I should forgive him yet.

Too many thoughts haunted me. I wanted nothing more than to curl up on a wool bed in a log cabin in the mountains, a bearded giant humming as he whittled away on a piece of wood. It hurt that I could never have that again, and now my life was so much more complicated.

I exhaled sharply and slumped my head against the carriage.

"That was a heavy sigh," Schula murmured. "I'm here, if you want to talk."

She was reading a book at the other end of the bench. Puko was preening himself, scattering little rain droplets on my arm. Eberon was driving the carriage, only stopping us if the rain was more than he wanted for the horse. And I was in the same seat I had been in for three days, under a blanket and feeling sorry for myself.

"Did I sigh? Sorry." I sat up a little straighter and tried to face her.

"I know what you need." Schula put her book down. "You need a hot bath when we get back. And then you need a good workout. Move your body."

"Maybe." I wondered if all these thoughts could be blocked out by throwing myself at my training. "Schula, will you teach me magic? I still want to keep working toward fighting too, but I need to learn control so I can lift the seal soon and be ready for it."

She studied me for a moment, long enough that I wasn't sure she'd remember to answer me out loud. "Alright. When we're finally off the road, I'm moving you past limbering your body. Combat training and magic control. I'm not going to make it easy."

"Good," I said. "I don't want it to be easy, I want it to be effective."

"You asked for it." She smiled and returned to her book. "Don't break on me."

"Almost to the gates," Eberon called from the driver's bench. I looked out the window, startling Puko into flight. Light rain still pattered over the Wyldes, but instead of rolling green hills, we were in the endless sunset forests of the Autumn lands. The smell of wet leaves raked through the air and I could see tendrils of smoke ahead of us where Thanantholl hid in the valley.

"I hope you're ready for the city. It isn't going to be the same as it was before," Schula said.

"Did something change?" I asked, pulling my head back inside.

"You were a curiosity before, an unknown thing." The white fae stretched in her seat. "Now, the truth has come out to the court, and the gossip has had days to fester. I'm sure you're the talk of the town by now."

"Wonderful." I grimaced. "Um, can I still stay with you for a little while longer?"

"Of course." She looked sideways at me. "I hope I haven't done anything to make you think otherwise. It's not Mama Flori, is it? I know she can be a bit overbearing but she does care."

"No, no it's not that," I said. "You've been great and Mama Flori is so nice. I just don't want to overstay my welcome. I still want to find a place of my own at some point. The city is too loud, too many people. It's not what I'm used to at all."

"Ah, well I knew that was coming." She smiled. "I don't think you should be in such a hurry. You don't even know which court you will settle into. Stop thinking in human years, you're half fae, and chances are you're going to be around a lot longer than you first thought. Give yourself the year the four crowns agreed to and see where you want to settle first."

"I guess." I shifted in my seat. "Right, okay. I'm just anxious about it all. The new courts, the new fae, the new cities. I just want a quiet little spot in the woods."

"Sorry to frustrate you, but it would be a lot easier for me to help you with that if we knew what court you aligned with," she said. "Try to have a little patience."

A bump in the road shook us both, and the carriage slowed down.

"Right, one thing at a time." I sighed. Puko cawed. The carraige bumped. 

My seal itched.