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✨✨✨

I wanna take you somewhere so you know I care
But it's so cold and I don't know where
I brought you daffodils in a pretty string
But they won't flower like they did last spring
And I wanna kiss you, make you feel alright
I'm just so tired to share my nights
I wanna cry and I wanna love
But all my tears have been used up
On another love, another love
All my tears have been used up
On another love, another love
All my tears have been used up
On another love, another love
All my tears have been used up
Oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
And if somebody hurts you, I wanna fight
But my hand's been broken, one too many times
So I'll use my voice, I'll be so fucking rude
Words they always win, but I know I'll lose
And I'd sing a song, that'd be just ours
But I sang 'em all to another heart
And I wanna cry, I wanna learn to love
But all my tears have been used up
On another love, another love
All my tears have been used up
On another love, another love
All my tears have been used up
On another love, another love
All my tears have been used up
Oh oh
I wanna sing a song, that'd be just ours
But I sang 'em all to another heart
And I wanna cry, I wanna fall in love
But all my tears have been used up
On another love, another love
All my tears have been used up
On another love, another love
All my tears have been used up
On another love, another love
All my tears have been used up oh oh, oh

✨✨✨

Kaz felt more anxious than he had ever been, whatever he said to Aeolian was stupid, and he hadn't seen her shadow ever since. There had been moments like these, where he thought she might hate him. But she reappears being irritated or playful and brushes off the tension, but this was different because none of the crew met or saw her as well. A surge of panic overcame him as the clock began to tick, what if she backed out of the mission? What if she had left Ketterdam without saying goodbye? Or what if she's in trouble?

She was Aeolian, the best spy he knew. The Ghost of Ketterdam, she can look after herself that's for sure. But if someone was smart enough, he or she could harm her. His rivals were everywhere and being associated with him has its cons. As they stood at the loading docks of Fifth Harbour, he gazed at the direction of where she might appear, but she was very late. The group was tensed as well, they hadn't seen or heard from her for a day and that was so unlike her.

"Saints!" Nina finally broke the silence. "Where is she?" She pulled out a toffee from her pocket. She could feel the tension on Kaz's heartbeats, and ever since they reached the pier he seemed to be in deep thought.

Wylan sat on the barrel besides Nina. "Do you think she backed out?"

Nina let out a laugh. "Have you met doll? She never backs out."

Kaz gave a little sigh of relief, he knew Aeolian but he just needed to hear those words from someone else. The Shu girl would never leave the city without saying goodbye to her friends, nor will she back out from the heist but what was taking her so long to reach the harbour. That's what he didn't get, if she don't show up, he was going to look for her. He won't be leaving Ketterdam without her, that's what he was sure about.

A light mist was rising off the water, and through it, Aeolian saw Kaz and the others waiting near the pier. They all wore clothes of sailors. Even Kaz had foregone his immaculately cut suit in favour of a bulky wool coat. The thick sheaf of his dark hair was combed back, the sides trimmed short as always. She didn't pay much attention to his hairstyle, until one day she accidentally walked in while he was trimming his hair. She offered to help, since Kaz seemed to be struggling with the back of his head, but he declined, saying he didn't want to end up looking like Jesper or Wylan. Because she does their hair at times.

She was very late, and after their last conversation, she just needed to hear a sorry from him. Do Kaz Brekker even apologise? There's always a first time for everything. Kaz saw her, it was as if once Kaz had seen her, he'd understood how to keep seeing her. She steadied her pace still annoyed at him, but at a distant under the gaslight she saw Dirix with a knife on his abdomen. Everything happened so quickly.

"Kaz!" she shouted.

But it was too late. The schooner exploded, knocking her off her feet and showering the docks in flame.

Kaz had warned them to anticipate competition, but this was early in the job for things to be going so badly. They were surrounded, at least one man down, a burning ship at their backs. They'd lost their transportation to Fjerda, they were seriously outnumbered. It could have been worse; they could have been on the boat when it exploded.

"Head east to the next dock, board at berth twenty-two," Kaz said. "There's the real Ferolind, the boat that blew was a decoy."

"You knew?" Jesper asked pulling out his zemeni revolvers. His weapons were Zemeni-made revolvers that could fire six shots in rapid succession, unmatched by anything in Ketterdam.

"No, I took precautions. It's what I do, Jesper." Kaz said, "and make sure the merchling gets to the ship in one piece." He glanced at Wylan, who stood there cradling the rifle like an infant.

And in an instant Kaz vanish back into the shadows, cane in one hand, pistol in the other. Even on one good leg, he was eerily spry.

Matthias was beside Nina with his back to the crate. Jesper had a moment to wonder why Kaz had left him with Nina. She slapped a pistol into his hands. "Defend yourself."

Not smart, Jesper thought. Do not turn your back on an angry Fjerdan. Helvar looked like he was seriously considering shooting her. Jesper lifted his revolver, prepared to bring him down. Then Helvar was standing next to Nina, aiming into the maze of crates beyond. Just like that they were fighting side by side. Had Kaz left Matthias with Nina deliberately? Jesper could never tell how much of what Kaz got away with was smarts and planning and how much was dumb luck.

He spotted Nina and Matthias trying to make their way onto the pier, but at least ten men were in their way. Kaz seemed to be running in the opposite direction, searching for someone or something and Aeolian was nowhere on sight, but none of them had seen her for the past 24 hours. He wasn't even sure if she was there with them, but by the look on Kaz's face earlier, he could tell that Kaz had seen her before the explosion. So maybe Kaz was on his way to search for the Shu girl? He just prayed that wherever she was, no harm had befallen her.

"Jesper! Close your eyes." Wylan shouted.

The shout came from far below. I'm going to kill that little idiot, Jesper thought. "You can't kiss me from down there, Wylan!" He shouted annoyingly.

"Just do it!" Wylan yelled.

"This better be good!" Jesper shut his eyes.

There was a shrill, shrieking howl, and then bright light bloomed behind Jesper's lids. When it faded, he opened his eyes. Below, he saw men blundering around, rendered blind by the flash bomb Wylan had set off. Not bad for a mercher's kid, he thought to himself, and opened fire.

➖➖➖➖➖

The view from above was disturbing, the Dregs were outnumbered. Kaz had been right to keep their real point of departure a secret from the others. Only she and Kaz knew the real plan. Someone had talked. Aeolian had tried to keep tabs on the team, but someone else in the gang could have been snooping. Kaz had said it himself: Everything in Ketterdam leaked, including the Slat and the Crow Club.

She just had to buy the others enough time to make it to the new Ferolind. Aeolian ran lightly over the tops of the crates. It was easy enough. None of them expected the threat to come from above.

She slid to the ground behind two men firing at Nina, and slit one throat, then the next. When the second man dropped, she crouched beside him and rolled up his right sleeve: a tattoo of a hand, its first and second fingers cut off at the knuckle. Black Tips.

They wouldn't have retributed this way for Kaz's showdown with Geels, this was something else. And They shouldn't have been able to raise these kinds of numbers, with their empty coffers, someone else was behind this hit. But who?

She moved onto the next aisle of crates, she took down a girl holding a rifle, then another man. His tattoo showed five birds in a wedge formation: Razorgulls. Just how many gangs were they up against? And what the hell was really going on?

Two men were firing on the docks with their backs to her. She dispatched them with two quick thrusts of her blades. Six bodies, six lives taken. She hadn't taken this amount of life in a night, after she settled in Ketterdam. This was a first. Now, she needed to get to the schooner.

She took a running start at the nearest cargo container. As her fingers gripped the rim, she felt a piercing pain beneath her arm. She turned in time to see Oomen's face, the one who could crush skulls with his bare hands. He yanked her down and grabbed the front of her vest, giving the knife in her side a sharp twist. She fought not to black out.

He pushed back her fox mask revealing her face, he exclaimed, "Ghezen! Finally I've got Brekker's girl."

Oomen had never seen Aeolian's face up close, but he had seen her from afar. And he couldn't deny the beautiful eyes this dangerous girl has, and in his large hands, she looked like a doll.

"You should have aimed...higher," Aeolian gasped. "Missed my heart."

"Don't want you dead, marionette," he said. "You're quite the prize. Can't wait to hear all of Dirtyhands secrets, and about your life. I love a good story."

He picked her up, pain crashed through her as blood spurted from the wound at her side. She missed her claws if they were on her she would've attacked Oomen by now, she was losing blood, she needed to act quick and escape before the huge man takes her far away from here. With the little strength she had she reached for the knife hidden under her back and with all her might shoved it on the gut of the man. He shrieked and released her, hands going to his bleeding gut.

She could hear men shouting to each other, the pop of gunfire coming in smatters and bursts now. Who was winning? Had the others made it to the schooner? A wave of dizziness rolled over her.

When she touched her fingers to the wound, they came away wet. Too much blood. Footsteps. Someone was coming. She couldn't climb, not with this wound, not with the amount of blood she'd lost. The cargo containers were stacked like a pyramid. If she could make it up, she could hide herself on the first level. She could climb or she could stand there and die. Or worse be captured and taken away. She willed her mind to clarity and hopped up, wet fingertips latching onto the top of the crate.

It felt so good to lie there, but she knew she'd left a trail of blood behind her. She forced herself up to her knees and reached for the next crate. The surface beneath her began to rock. She heard laughters from below.

"Come out, Ghost! We have secrets to tell!"

They didn't open fire; they wanted her alive. Everyone wanted her alive, she was the most valuable asset in the Barrel.

"Come on down, Lovely!"

She didn't know where the strength came from but she managed to pull herself over the top. She had been through worse fate than this, she encouraged herself, as she went on. She lay on the crate's roof, panting.

This is a stupid place to die. And yet the siren voice in her head said she would die here, after all the times she had cheated death before, she will finally meet her death here in Ketterdam.

It was a year ago, she sailed to the Bone Road with Sturmhond and killed a siren, took its golden heart and let a Materialki mould the heart of the creature and entwined it on her right ear lobe. She knew that it would be a part of her now, and her lifelong dream to sing like a siren was complete, it was because of this, that she's able to sing so beautifully, that it can alter the pathway of someone's mind. But she had taken the life of a creature for its gift and now she could hear its voice in her head. Mocking her.

She tried to drown the voice of the creature, and comforted herself. She was only 17 but she had lived a life full of adventures and accomplished more than she thought she'd in her teenage years, so even if she died today, she'll die in freedom, in victory, beneath the beginnings of dawn. She'd die after a worthy fight, as Aeolian Kir-Taban the Jade of Wind. The most precious jewel of her people.

Better to die here by her own blade than by the blade of an enemy. Better die than fail a mission, that was the motto of The Desert Blade.

A hand seized her ankle. She hadn't heard them? Was she that far gone? Someone was turning her onto her back. She slid the dagger from the sheath at her wrist, a blade this sharp was known as kind steel. It meant a quick death. Better than being a captive and tortured, Shu spies take their own lives to escape being a captive. She only heard of two spies who had been captured so far, and both had been tortured and killed horribly but they were very determined and none of them had spilled even a grain of secret.

Even though she knew she was strong, she didn't want to be tortured and be at the mercy of cruel men. It's better to die a quick death, than die a thousand deaths. "May I receive Nirvana." Nirvana meant: a state of perfect peace.

She pressed the tip beneath her breast, between her ribs, an arrow to her heart. Then a hand gripped her wrist painfully, forcing her to drop the blade.

She smelt him before he even spoke to her, he always had that peculiar smell of fine leather, sea salt and blood, but tonight the scent of blood was overwhelming. Her eyes flew open, "Kaz!"

"Not just yet, Lin." He bundled her into his arms and leaped down from the crates, landing roughly, his bad leg buckling.

She moaned as they hit the ground. "Did we win?"

"I'm here, aren't I?" He said.

He was running. Her body jounced painfully against his chest with every lurching step. He needed his cane.

"I'm glad I didn't die before I met you." She sounded weak but her flirtatious tune still lingered. Kaz couldn't believe it, she was something else.

"You're not going to die," he shuddered. "I won't let you!"

She closed her eyes.

"Keep talking, love. Don't slip away from me." His voice sounded like a dream.

"But it's what I do best." She gasped.

He clutched her tighter. "Just make it to the schooner. Open your damn eyes, Lin!"

She tried. Her vision was blurring, but she could make out a pale, shiny scar on Kaz's neck, right beneath his jaw. She remembered the first time she'd seen him without his gloves, it was a rainy night, he showed her the tricks he learned after observing magicians from East Stave. How he made things disappears, and Aeolian had never ever seen anyone manipulate cards like he did. It was like Kaz Brekker was born to manipulate cards and pick locks.

That was the very night they got completely drunk and she remembered passing out on the floor, but when she awoke, she found herself on the sofa, covered with a blanket. It was almost sunrise and even with a heavy hangover, she climbed up the roof and watched the sunrise with Kaz because the previous night, they made a deal to watch the sunrise together. That was the moment when she realised that he appreciated the little things in life, like she did. They were more alike than anyone she had ever met, and he is half her soul.

"Talk to me," his voice brought her back to her senses, he sounded more distant.

"You came back for me." She said, she was bleeding all over his white shirt.

"I would," he panted. "I always would..."

Now she remembered. He owed her an apology. "Say you're sorry."

She didn't hear his reply. The world had grown very dark indeed.

➖➖➖➖➖

"Get us out of here," Kaz shouted as soon as he limped aboard the schooner with Aeolian in his arms. There was chaos on deck. "Specht!" he yelled at the captain. "Get your crew in shape before I start cracking skulls."

Specht saluted, then realised. He wasn't in the navy any longer, and Kaz wasn't a commanding officer.

The pain in Kaz's leg was terrible, the worst it had been since he'd first broken it falling off the roof of a bank. It was possible he'd fractured the bone again. Aeolian weight wasn't helping, but when Jesper stepped into his path shakily to offer help, Kaz shoved past him.

"Where's Nina?" He snarled.

"Seeing to the wounded below. She already took care of me." Dimly Kaz registered the dried blood on Jesper's thigh. "Let me help you_"

"Get out of my way," Kaz said, and plunged past him down the ramp that led belowdecks. He found Nina tending to Wylan.

"Move," Kaz demanded, and Wylan practically leaped from the table in shock seeing the lifeless body of Aeolian.

Nina caught sight of Aeolian. "Saints," she froze. "What happened?"

"Knife wound." Kaz gasped. "Help her."

Gently, Kaz placed Aeolian on the table. Like she was made of glass, about to break any moment now.

"That's a lot of blood," Nina chocked. "Kaz, I'm a Heartrender, not a real Healer."

"She'll be dead by the time we find one. Get to work." He snapped at her. Kaz stepped back. Aeolian lay perfectly still on the table. He was alive because of her. They all were. They'd managed to fight their way out, only because she'd prevented them from being surrounded. Kaz knew death. He could feel its presence on the ship now, looming over them, ready to take his better half. He was covered in her blood.

"Unless you can be useful, go away," Nina sniffed without looking up at him. Because she could feel Kaz's heartbeat, no matter how ruthless and cold Dirtyhands was. Seeing Aeolian this way, he couldn't take it. "You're making me nervous." She mumbled.

He hesitated, then stomped back the way he'd come. Something inside him felt frayed and raw. It was the same feeling he'd had as a boy, in those first desperate days after Jordie's death. Say you're sorry. That was the last thing she had said to him. Before she slipped away. He had never seen her in pain, and he knew that once he saw it, he could never see her this way ever again. He'd set the world on fire, but not let a single flame touch her. She was 'half his soul' after all.

Kaz limped over to where Rotty had helped him stash Oomen. I stuck your girl...I stuck her good! Oomen had giggled when Kaz spotted him curled up on the ground, the floor seemed to drop from beneath his feet as he heard Oomen. He had glanced at the blood on Oomen's gut but her aim had been off or Oomen would have been dead, that's when he realised she was hurt. No, he thought, his heart stuttering in panic.

Helvar and Jesper dragged Oomen over to the rail, his hands bound.

"I want you to think real careful now, you worthless podge! There are no rules of barter here. I can do what I want with you." Kaz looked at the man.

Oomen spat in his face.

Kaz took a handkerchief from his coat pocket and carefully wiped his face clean. He thought of Aeolian lying still on the table, her slight weight in his arms. He couldn't concentrate on anything, but he needed to get things done.

"Hold him," he told them.

Kaz flicked his coat sleeve, a knife appeared in his hand. At any given time he had at least two knives stashed somewhere in his clothes. He made a neat slash across Oomen's eye and before Oomen could draw breath to cry out, he made a second cut in the opposite direction, a nearly perfect X. Now Oomen was screaming.

Kaz drove his gloved fingers into Oomen's eye socket. He shrieked and twitched as Kaz yanked out his eyeball. Blood gushed over his face. He tossed the eyeball overboard and jammed his spit-soaked handkerchief into the socket where Oomen's eye had been. Then he grabbed Oomen's jaw. His actions were smooth, precise, but his rage felt hot and mad and unfamiliar. Something within him had torn loose. The real monster had been unleashed.

"Listen to me," he hissed. "You have two choices. You tell me what I want to know, and we drop you at our next port. Or I take the other eye, and I repeat this conversation with a blind man."

"You were supposed to be on the boat when it blew! We were just supposed to take care of the stragglers." Oomen babbled.

"Who hired you? Don't make me ask again, Oomen," Kaz said quietly.

"He'll kill me." Oomen panted.

"And I'll make you wish for death." There was real menace in his voice.

Oomen sobbed. "It was Pekka Rollins!"

Even through his own shock, Kaz registered the effect of the name on Jesper and Wylan. Helvar didn't know enough to be intimidated.

He took Oomen by the lapels and hoisted him off his feet, bracing his body against the railing. Kaz leaned in so that no one else could hear it when he said, "You shouldn't have touched her Oomen, I do terrible things for the ones I love." Without another word, he tipped Oomen into the sea.

Wylan couldn't react, he stood silently still. Matthias stood observing it all, looking seasick. Jesper wasn't surprised, he knew Dirtyhands. Oomen was foolish enough to go after Aeolian, this was bound to happen, they all cherished the Shu girl. But Kaz wouldn't have flipped like a mad dog if it was anyone else, the rage he saw tonight was foreign.

Kaz turned to Jesper. "Get me clean clothes and fresh water."

"Since when am I your valet?" Jesper asked.

"Man with a knife, remember?" he said over his shoulder.

"Man with a gun!" Jesper called after him.

Kaz replied with a time-saving gesture that relied heavily on his middle finger and disappeared belowdecks. He wanted a hot bath and a bottle of brandy. If this job didn't turn out, no one would want to be around me sober. That's what he told Aeolian and the others at Hellgate, and she teasingly told him not to break her heart because she wasn't done annoying him. He never thought he'd miss her mind tricks until now, he had the urge to check on her but he needed to be alone and be free of the stink of blood for a while.

Pekka Rollins. It always came back to Pekka Rollins, the man who had taken everything from him. Killing Pekka Rollins had always been tempting, but that wasn't enough. He wanted him to suffer the way he and Jordie had. And snatching ten million kruge out of Pekka's hands was a very good way to start.

But at this very moment, the only thing that mattered was her. "Men mock the gods until they need them, Kaz". That's what she told him back at the bridge, and she was right. He needed the greater power out there, the power Aeolian believed in, to save her, to bring her back to him.

➖➖➖➖➖

Nina tried her very best to put Aeolian's body back together, but she hadn't been trained for this type of work. Aeolian was lithe, built perfectly perfect. The knife had entered beneath her left arm. It had been a very close thing. A little deeper and the blade would have pierced the apex of the heart. She'd tried to stop the bleeding from the inside out. But Aeolian had lost a lot of blood, to their luck Raske and Aeolian shared the same blood type, she didn't know how the hell he even knew that but she didn't have time to bombard him with questions.

When Wylan approached Kaz with the information that Aeolian needed blood, and Raske and her shared the same blood type according to Raske. Kaz couldn't believe the surge of jealousy he felt, but he tried to ignore it. They needed his help in order to save Aeolian, and if Raske was the one who could save her, Kaz was willing to let him, by suppressing every swelling emotions of his.

The feelings that he felt, was alien to him. And he'd rather be beaten and stabbed, than feel the way he felt. The fear of losing her and the resentment he felt towards Raske knowing such a personal thing about her life, a knowledge that even he didn't know, was overwhelming. Aeolian shared a part of her life with Raske that she didn't with anyone else, not that none of them ever tried to acquire the knowledge of her blood type. But maybe, Raske did and that's the reason why she told him or maybe there was more to the story. Kaz seemed to be losing his sanity, with each passing second.

The process was painfully slow because they didn't have the proper equipment's for the donation, but somehow Raske and Kaz was able to built something together as quickly as possible. Kaz didn't stay to witness the procedure, he was the same Kaz: cold, rude, impossible but beneath all that anger, Nina had seen something else, too.

After Nina was left alone with Aeolian, she monitored her pulse and breathing and stared at the Shu girl who was dead asleep. Then she realised that she hadn't seen the crow and cup tattoo of the Dregs on her forearm, even Nina had two tattoos the White Rose tattoo on her left forearm and the Dregs tattoo on her right. It was strange, because she was one of the most valued members, and Kaz trusted her.

Curiously, Nina checked the Shu girl. Then her eyes caught the tattoos on her back, she had seen the dragon tattoo that represented The Desert Blade and the Sun that represented The Onyx. Aeolian had told Nina before that she was a spy from Shu Han and she belonged to two sacred organisations before she left them and settled in Ketterdam. But Nina didn't know about the other two tattoos, beneath the tattoo of The Onyx.

There were two other tattoos apart from The Desert Blade and The Onyx tattoo. Nina could tell that one of them was in a secret coded language, a tattoo of protection. And below that tattoo, was a tattoo written in Shu, "the most precious jewel of the desert." Nina couldn't believe her eyes, everything was making sense now.

The mesmerising Shu spy in front of her, was not any ordinary spy from Shu Han but she was Royalty, a princess. And even Kaz Brekker didn't have a clue about it, Aeolian had kept this knowledge locked away from Dirtyhands itself. And it was something to be marvelled upon. Nina would've never found out, if she hadn't tended to her.

Then she heard footsteps, she quickly pulled the blanket down and turned around. It was Jesper, the frenetic energy of Jesper's was gone, he was as still as Nina had ever seen him. He didn't want to look at Aeolian, not this way. When he spoke, his voice was taut. "She can't die."

Nina peered at Jesper, puzzled.

"She can't die," he repeated.

Nina felt a surge of frustration. She was torn between wanting to hug Jesper and scream at him. "Saints, Jesper," she said. "I'm doing my best."

He shrugged as he came forward, when they first saw her in Kaz's arms, they all hold back their tears because none of them wanted to get lectures from Kaz. Jesper said nothing, just placed a soft kiss on her forehead and left as quickly as possible.

Nina had hooded off, unknowingly. When her chin dipped she jerked wide awake. Matthias was standing in the passage outside the cabin.

"Hje marden?" she asked. It meant, 'how are you?' In Fjerdan.

"I don't want to hear my language from your mouth." He muttered.

With vindictive pleasure, she said in Fjerdan, "But you always liked the way I spoke your tongue. You said it sounded pure."

He'd loved Nina accent the vowels of a princess, courtesy of her teachers at the Little Palace. The same accent Aeolian spoke Fjerdan.

Matthias Kerch was ugly, brutal, the accent of thieves and murderers that he'd met in prison. "That pardon is a dream that's hard to hold on to. The memory of your pulse fading beneath my fingers is far easier to bring to mind."

She was sick of his threats. She curled her fingertips, and Matthias gasped as his heart began to race.

"Witch!" He spat, clutching his chest.

She relaxed her fingers, feeling suddenly
embarrassed. What was she doing? Punishing him? Toying with him? He had every right to hate her.

She focused back on checking Aeolian's body temperature. "Go away, Helvar."

"Will she live?" He asked slowly.

"Do you care?" Nina asked.

"Of course I care for her. She's human." Matthias said, "she deserves to live."

Nina heard the unspoken end to that sentence. 'She's a human being, unlike you.' The Fjerdans didn't believe the Grisha were human but something low and demonic, a blight on the world, an abomination.

Nina nodded, "I won't let her die...she's family."

There was a long silence, then he finally asked. "Brekker asked you if the White Rose would send a delegation to Hringkälla?"

"You know the White Rose?" She asked.

"West Stave is a favourite subject of conversation in Hellgate." He replied.

Nina paused. Then, she pushed up the sleeve of her shirt. Two roses intertwined on the inside of her forearm. She could have explained what she'd done there, but it was none of his business what she did or didn't do. Let him believe what he liked.

"You chose to work there?" He was shocked, never in his wildest dreams did he even imagined Nina working in West Stave. He knew what kind of a place The White Rose was and he didn't want to think what she did or didn't do there. "Why would you remain in Kerch?"

She rubbed her eyes. "I couldn't leave you in Hellgate."

"You put me in Hellgate." He hissed, was he angry because she put him in prison or by the new knowledge that she worked in West Stave.

Nina said. "And I've spent most of these months trying to find a way to set things right."

Matthias had always fought his own decency. To become a drüskelle, he'd had to kill the good things inside him. But the boy he should have been was always there, and she'd begun to see the truth of him in the days they'd spent together after the shipwreck. She wanted to believe that boy was still there, locked away, despite her betrayal and whatever he'd endured at Hellgate.

Looking at him now, Nina couldn't be sure. Maybe this was the truth of him, and the image she'd held on to had been an illusion.

"Did you think of me at all, Nina? Did I trouble your sleep?" He asked out of the blue.

She shrugged. "A Corporalnik can sleep whenever she likes. Though she couldn't control her dreams."

"Sleep is a luxury at Hellgate. It's a danger. But when I slept, I dreamed of you." He confessed.

Her head snapped up. "And what did you do to me in your dreams?"

"Everything," he said, as he turned to go. "Everything."