🍒 HALF HEARTED 🍒
FIVE: WELCOME PARTY, PART I

Lani is still reeling from the night before. Like absolutely fuming. Though her body has simmered down after the fucking breakdown she had late last night, her mind is in flames. Ashes falling down around. She still can't believe every word that came out of her brother's mouth — how he accused her of being an alcoholic or threatened with cutting her off —

Well, she can, but also not really. Ugh, she just wants to punch his annoying face just one time. Once. That's all she needs.

She knew her parents were growing irritated with her — getting more and more disappointed each day, but she didn't know they were going to cut her off. She grieves for less than a week, and they can't even be patient with her until she figures it out. Fuck, they can't even help her.

They're all wrong about her, really. So wrong.

...Or are they?

As she steps through the door, she knows she's only proving to them that she's exactly what they think she is. Some sort of drunken teenager who doesn't care about her future — who has anger issues and couldn't possibly be a Liu. She's nothing like them but she's exactly what they see her as.

"Ah! You came!" she hears immediately.

Lani freezes when everyone's eyes land on her. The boy's shouting had drawn all attention to her, and that's the last thing she wanted right now. Hell, she has last night's makeup still on; granted, it's faint and smudged, but it's somehow still there. Thank god for waterproof makeup and a good setting spray, honestly. Her hair lays in it's natural frizzy waves with the two bleached sections in the front braided. She couldn't be bothered to do anything more that morning before school. She was on the verge of throwing up so she really didn't have the energy to look better. All she did was throw on some extra glitter and highlighter to make herself look awake as well as a pink dress with little strawberries on it and left.

She still looks OK but she'd rather not have all these tourists staring at her right now. The tourists in Outer Banks are probably the most judgemental people on the island, honestly. Well, besides, like, herself. And Julie. And Kelce. And every single Kook —

Oh, my god, Julie! If she wants to get back on her parents' good side all she has to do is invite fucking Julie over. Her parents love Julie — would think it's evidence of Lani getting "better" or something.

The only issue is: Lani cannot stand Julie. Plus, the last time she saw her she, like, exploded and made Julie cry. She still hasn't apologized (and she probably won't).

"Subtle," she says as she sits on the stool beside him. She smooths her dress over her thighs once she's comfortable and hooks her feet on the bars below. Her little white wedges hook nicely onto the bar stool, letting her legs relax beneath her.

"Oh, come on," he says and pats her shoulder. He looks plastered. She can't really judge, though; she's been plastered for days. "You love the attention."

She hums, setting her purse onto the counter. "Do I?"

"Old Lani did."

There it is. Old Lani. Fun, ecstatic, bitchy, rude, old Lani. That's not her anymore; there's no reason to be fun — to have fun. (She's definitely still rude and bitchy, though; can't change that in less than a week. She still hates over half the population).

She gives him a tight-lipped smile. "Sure did."

"C'mon, let's take a shot, yeah? You're way behind." Rafe Cameron grins at her, his hair splayed messily over his forehead like he's been running his hands through it repeatedly. His eyes are red — from what, she's not really sure. He could certainly be high, but it almost looks like he's been crying. It's not really her business, and it's not why she's here. She's not entirely sure what she's doing here but she figured after her talk with her brother yesterday, it might be fun to get on his nerves. Rafe always gets on her brother's nerves. "Bartender!"

The bartender rolls his eyes but slides a couple of shots over to them nonetheless. She figures Rafe had bribed him so their IDs weren't checked — or the guy just doesn't care to check because he knows his family or something. She doesn't know. If he knew who her family was he would certainly check. She wouldn't be surprised if her mother sued the entire country club for serving her underage without even as little as an ID check.

Oh, well.

Rafe hands her the shot, clinks her glass, and downs it immediately. She follows shortly after, feeling the familiar burn of tequila in her throat as it goes down. She sets the glass back down with a clink, urging the bartender to give her another before she sends it down the hatch right away.

"Woah! Lani Liu, you've changed," Rafe exclaims with a laugh. His laugh is almost cynical, reminding her how unexpected this change in her was. The new Lani has no comparison to the old one. She's not sure the old one can ever come back.

"Been a shit week," she says.

He tightens his lips. "Yeah. It has."

She wants to ask how he's doing, but it doesn't seem like he's doing too well. Asking may make it worse — and plus, she doesn't really want to talk about her feelings either. She won't make him talk about his if he doesn't want to. So, she asks instead, "How long have you been here? You been drinking without me?"

"Bout an hour," he replies. "Wasn't sure you would even show up. Didn't think your brother would pass on the message." And then he just fucking laughs at the idea of her brother. Her first year law student and favorite child brother.

The thought of Landon brings a small flame to the pit of her stomach. Ugh. "I can't believe you asked my brother to pass along a message. As if he likes you enough to do it — or me for that matter."

"Thought it'd get on his nerves," he says with a grin. "Did I succeed?"

"Obviously," Lani says, taking another shot. "Why else would I be here?"

"To drink, of course," he adds. "What else do we do these days?"

He did not just group them together like they're similar whatsoever. They have nothing similar about them except for being from big, rich families on the island. And is it even similar these days? Her dad is literally representing his father. His father who...supposedly killed the sheriff? JJ swears John B didn't do it and apparently the only other person there was Ward Cameron, which means...Her dad is representing a murderer.

"We're not the same, Rafe," she says.

"Aren't we?" he asks, holding up another shot. "We're both here drinking before dinner, are we not?"

"Well, yeah, but —"

"And we both hate our families, do we not?" he asks.

She pulls her brows together. "What —?"

"We would both do anything for our fathers, yeah?"

Lani would do anything for her dad. Only her dad. But why is it important right now? "...Yeah?"

"I think..." he starts, slurring his words as he takes another shot, sliding another over to her. "We're more alike than you think."

She brings the glass to her lips, throwing her head back as the familiar liquid slides down her throat. Maybe they are alike in some ways but there's no way she'd ever admit to being like Rafe Cameron. She's known him since she was in kindergarten and knows him more than most people do. She's nothing like him. "You're drunk," she says.

"So are you."

"I'm always drunk," she says. "Haven't you heard?"

"Oh, I have," he says with a raised brow. "People talk. Heard you had a meltdown here the other night."

She sighs. "Yeah. It happens, OK —?"

He holds up his hands defensively. "I get it. Not judging. Nothing wrong with getting drunk before your first day of school and breaking things —" He cuts himself off when his phone chimes from inside his pocket. He pulls it out, grinning at the message. "Kelce is on his way."

"Sweet," Lani mumbles. Her stomach churns with the few shots she's put in it, like it's begging her for anything except alcohol but she never complies to the request.

"Oh, come on," Rafe says. "What's wrong with Kelce? Do you like anyone?"

"Sure, I do," she says. Before she can list the very few people she actually likes in this world (see here: Topper, Sarah, and sometimes JJ but she will never admit it), Topper slides into a table behind them with his family, ignoring both of them sitting at the bar. Lani doesn't go to say hi this time because she knows she's drunk, and she doesn't want to embarrass him in front of his family. Plus, he's probably judging her and planning on texting her about it later.

Except...The issue is they know her. And they even recognize her. "Lani?" she hears over her shoulder.

She slides the shot glass away from her to make it look like it's not hers, plastering a huge smile across her face before turning around brightly. Her cheeks are red hot from the alcohol; there's no way she cannot tell she's been drinking. Whenever Lani has an excessive amount to drink or drinks the wrong type of alcohol, her body turns red in reaction. It's a surefire sign to tell how much Lani's had to drink in a given time period. Perhaps, to Topper's mom, it just looks like blush? She can only hope. "Mrs. Thornton, hi! How are you?" she asks.

Rafe chokes on his drink beside her. His back is turned to the Thornton family, and luckily they don't notice when she kicks him in the shin as he laughs into his hand.

"I'm good, dear," she says. "How are you? I haven't seen you in awhile."

"Yeah, I'm OK," she says. "My brother's visiting — been spending time with him and my family. He's not home very often."

OK, look, she may not be able to lie to Topper but his mother? She can lie easily. Topper knows she'd never spend any time with her brother voluntarily, but his mother doesn't know that. Topper, though, he frowns when he hears about it because she'd never told him her brother was even home. She usually tells him everything.

Hell, she even told him when she had feelings for his fucking girlfriend — how could Lani not tell him about this? He's such an idiot; if he would've read the damn signs these past few days, maybe he would've been able to see what's been going on.

"Oh, that's good," she says with a smile. "Are you here alone? You're welcome to join us."

Lani shakes her head. "Oh, no, it's alright, Mrs. Thornton." She grabs Rafe's bicep, forcing him to turn around and smile. As Rafe turns around, Lani pushes his shot glass out of sight, making sure Topper's mother won't see it. "Rafe's keeping me company."

Mrs. Thornton raises a brow in surprise. She knew Topper was friends with Rafe but she didn't know Lani was as well. She doesn't seem to be the type to be friends with Rafe Cameron (she's not). "Oh?"

She must hear the rumors about Rafe, too. Shit. She's friends with her fucking parents, how could Lani be so stupid? Mrs. Thornton would surely tell her parents what she's been up to. She can handle her brother knowing, but her parents finding out about her hanging out with Rafe? Definitely not. So, she says, "Yeah. Needed someone to talk to about — you know, Sarah..."

Mrs. Thornton's eyes soften at this. "Oh, honey, I'm sure. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, Mrs. Thornton," she says with a smile. Her fucking cheeks hurt from all this smiling. She can feel them getting redder by the second as the alcohol sits in her body longer. "We're getting through it."

"That's good," she says. "Well, come over whenever. You're always welcome at our house."

"Thank you," Lani says before she turns back around. Rafe follows suit, covering his mouth with his hand as he holds back a laugh. "What?" she hisses out.

"You're so fucking fake, Lani," he says.

"Ha ha," Lani says nonchalantly. "Hilarious. She knows my mom."

"That's unfortunate," Rafe says. It's quiet for a moment as he orders them more shots before counting down from three to one. Lani takes another shot, feeling her head spin when she does. She probably shouldn't have another drink. Like, really. Especially because Topper's mother is, like, right behind them. Whatever, she's probably not paying attention to them anyway. With any luck, Topper is distracting her enough so she doesn't return her eyes over to the pair at the counter. "Hey, I have a question."

"Shoot," Lani says.

"Have you ever shot a gun?" he asks.

"Why would you ask me that?" Lani asks. She looks at him with a look that reads what the fuck?. Has she ever shot a gun? Has her lawyer, totally rule-following family ever let her shoot a fucking gun? "No!"

"Man...You're missing out," he says.

"What's so special about a gun?" she asks.

"What's so special about a gun —?" Rafe chugs the remainder of his drink and sets it back down on the counter with a slam. Lani's head spins while watching him drink. She could not have another at this moment. It'll certainly come back up. "Bro, the kick on a GLOCK 17. Like, I mean, you – you load it up." Rafe raises his arm, making his fingers into the shape of a gun. "You line it up. It's like..." He then pretends to shoot the gun with a mock backfire, falling into the man behind him. "Yah! Like — like damn. Knocks you off your freakin' feet."

"What do you need to be shooting a gun for?" Lani asks with furred brows. "Who even taught you to shoot one?"

"Hey, excuse me," the man Rafe bumped into says before Rafe can respond.

"Yeah?" Rafe says.

"Do you mind?" the man asks. His brows are raised. Lani purses her lips. He seems mad.

"I'm sorry?" Rafe then asks, leaning in closer. Jesus, Rafe, she thinks. The guy's name is Bob. She recognizes him from the law firm. He's been in a couple of times for minor things like littering and the school absences of his children. A real stand up guy — probably one of the only people in this place at the moment that isn't a tourist.

"Do you mind?" Bob echoes. Typically this is where Lani would scatter so she wouldn't be a part of the issue but right now she kind of thinks it's funny. Like...This grown man is upset because someone bumped into him. Granted, it's Rafe, and he is being a tad rude. She'll admit that.

Rafe crosses his arms over the counter and rests on them. "Yeah, I do mind, Bob." Bob looks away but Rafe slides Lani's untouched shot glass in front of him. Her brows raise immediately. Why can't she have one normal day? "Take a shot with me, pussy. Come on. Take a shot." When Bob doesn't move, Rafe grabs the shot glass and pours it onto his hands. Lani audibly gasps.

"Hey!" Bob yells. "What the hell are you doing?" Bob stands up suddenly, and the shot glass flies, smashing on the ground beneath them. Lani moves her purse and wraps her arms around it. They almost got fucking alcohol on her one of a kind purse; what the hell?

"Take a seat! That's what you need to do –" Rafe says, puffing out his chest like he's some sort of tough guy. Lani wants to laugh because one punch from Bob and Rafe would be out like a light. She can already see it happening.

"Whoa, whoa!" Kelce suddenly says, holding Rafe back by his chest. Lani hadn't even seen him arrive. "Hey, hey, hey!"

"Eat shit!" Rafe says to Bob.

"Look at me," Kelce says. "Look at me. Calm down, alright?"

"Nobody'll drink with me, man," Rafe mumbles. Then, he glances over his shoulder at Lani, whose eyes are wide as she clutches her purse. Kelce takes one look at the redness in her face and knows she's about as messed up as his friend is. "Well, except her, but she's been drinking for days –"

"Hey!" Lani says. He's not wrong, but he didn't need to announce it like that.

"I swear to –" Rafe starts.

"Hey!" Kelce says then, pushing back on Rafe's chest. "I swear to god, 20 minutes ago, I just saw John B and your sister, bro. They're alive."

"Wait –" Lani says. She can feel her heart literally drop into her stomach. Sarah's alive? Like...This entire time Lani has been feeling like shit, and Sarah is alive? "You saw Sarah? She's alive?"

"I'm trying to relax, and you're telling me this bullshit?" Rafe says.

"I know you're trying to relax, bro, but I just saw them buying beer at Geechie's."

Lani can feel her world spinning. This can't be possible. Shit.

"Freaking bullshit," Rafe says.

"You wanna go see for yourself? I'm telling you, I saw them," Kelce says. "Go sober up, man!"

Kelce pushes him out of the country club, and Rafe shouts, "Hey, put it on Cameron! Hers, too, I guess."

And then they're gone, leaving Lani sitting at the bar stool, her wedges hooked onto the bars being the only thing keeping her stabilized right now. She has to find out if he was lying. He wouldn't lie about something like that, right? Surely not.

Lani looks at Topper then, and he's already looking at her. His eyes are wide in shock; he must not believe it either. Lani unzips her purse, pushing used wrappers and loose change out of the way in search for her keys. She has to know if it's true.

As she pulls her keys out of her purse, they're snatched from her hand in one quick motion. "Hey!" she shouts. "Give them back —!"

"You shouldn't be driving," the bartender says, dangling her keys in his hand. "Not until you're sober."

"I have to go," she says, gritting her teeth together. He's not wrong; she shouldn't drive under the influence. Normally she wouldn't even think to do such a thing, but right now? She needs to put her spinning mind to rest, and that means finding Sarah.

"You can get your car tomorrow morning. It'll be safe here."

"Tomorrow morning? What am I supposed to do?" she asks.

"I called you a cab," the bartender says, putting her keys into a little locked box under the counter. She can't argue anymore; she's just wasting time. She needs to find Sarah. "It's out front."

Lani groans, jumping off of the stool and landing on her wobbling feet. He's lucky she doesn't have the time to argue with him right now. She ignores him as he shouts you're welcome! at her and walks down the steps outside, the yellow cab parked at the bottom of them. She throws the back door open and slides in.

The fucking cab stinks. No wonder she's never taken one before.

"Too much to drink, eh?" the driver asks, chuckling as he looks at her through the rearview mirror. She scowls at him. "Where to?"

She gives him the address that she thinks is John B's place, hoping she doesn't end up somewhere random. After all, they've got to be at his place; it's the only logical location for them to be right now. Clearly they're planning on celebrating something if they were at Geechie's earlier. What better place to do it than a place with no parental supervision?

Lani feels her stomach twisting and turning as they drive down the road. She could just be sick — if Sarah is alive and never found a way to tell her? It sets those familiar flames flaring in the pit of her stomach. She's been in town for who knows how long and never reached out to her.

It's like Sarah doesn't even care how Lani has been feeling all these days. Or even care to see her.

Lani feels the shift from smooth road to gravel, and she says, "You can stop here. I'll walk the rest of the way."

"You sure? It's just up there."

"I'm sure," Lani says, handing him a twenty before getting out of the cab and closing the door behind her. Her wedges wobble on the gravel as she walks, which makes it even more difficult considering she's already tipsy and not walking too straight.

She stops just before she rounds the corner of the house. What is she supposed to say? What's she supposed to do? She's obviously not welcome here — at this house or on this side of the island, so why is she here? Sarah didn't invite her though she had all the technology needed to do so. Fucking JJ has her number. One text is all it would've taken for her to forgive literally anything Sarah has ever done.

But right now...Lani doesn't know how to feel. Perhaps Sarah meant more to her than she did to Sarah. Perhaps Sarah decided in the end that she really didn't want to be around Lani anymore. Decided she's too quick to anger and has irrational actions and thoughts.

On any other day, Lani would understand that. Today she just feels fucking upset. Betrayed. Alone. Stupid.

"Lani?" she hears softly. She didn't even realize she hasn't moved an inch. Her feet are planted on the ground, arms wrapped around her stomach for even some sort of comfort.

In front of her stands Sarah. Sarah, her best friend. Sarah, her first love. Sarah, who should be dead. Her blonde hair falls messily over her shoulders, and she has the brightest smile on her face.

Lani can't bring herself to smile. She feels like she's just been punched in the gut.

"Oh, my god...Sarah," Lani breathes out. "So it's true?"

"What?"

Sarah takes a step towards Lani, but Lani takes one back. Her mind is swarming with so many thoughts. Her veins run hot with fire, pumping along with her heartbeat. Her cheeks burn from the alcohol still running through her system. Sarah can surely tell she's drunk; she knows the signs. "You're alive...and you weren't going to tell me?"

Sarah's face falls. "It wasn't the right time –"

Lani lets out a dark laugh, tears starting to pool her waterline. Those same damn frustrated tears that she doesn't know how to hold back. "The right time  –?"

"Lani, please," Sarah says then. "Can we just – can we go inside and talk about this?"

So Lani follows Sarah inside, ignoring the looks of all her friends as she walks by. JJ is the only one with a wide grin on his face, holding up a beer as if to say cheers. Lani would typically roll her eyes  – flip him off or something  – but instead she puts her head down and keeps her arms crossed, following Sarah until the door closes behind them. She's unwelcome here, but she had to know.

Lani can't believe the mess that this place is. There's shit laying all over the floor, clothes scattered in all possible directions, not a single bed is made, there's dirty dishes and trash on every surface  – Lani feels a ball form in her throat. Sarah left her all those weeks ago for this?

"...Lani?"

Lani then remembers why she's actually here, standing in the middle of this place with her hands wrapped tightly around her stomach. Sarah. Shit. Lani really thinks she should be feeling some sort of relief that her best friend is alive and well but...She just doesn't. There's still this crushing weight on her shoulders that makes her feel like she's shriveling slowly. Wasting away.

Her stomach twists with the dancing heat. She can feel her hand unconsciously move away from her stomach, resting on the front of her thigh, pressing harshly into her skin. Come on, Lani, get it together, she can hear a voice say in her head. For days all it's been is Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, and now that Sarah is standing right in front of her...It's not anymore. But why isn't she relieved?

She should be, right? Like, her best friend is alive!

"You didn't  – uh  – want to tell me you weren't dead in the middle of the fucking ocean somewhere?" Lani asks quietly. "That's where I've thought you were for days."

"I couldn't," is all Sarah says.

Lani scoffs and bites the side of her tongue. "Couldn't. OK."

Sarah bites her lip and crosses her arms uncomfortably over her chest. She probably didn't think this was how the interaction was going to go either. Lani would give anything to just jump into Sarah's arms but there's something unspoken holding her back  – not letting her go any further. "Lani, you don't know what happened  –"

This kind of sets Lani off because maybe she would understand if Sarah would fucking tell her but suddenly she's keeping all these secrets from her when she's never kept one from her before. Her nail pushes further into her thigh, wincing when it goes too deep but doesn't stop. She shouldn't unleash all of the fire she's feeling on Sarah. It's not fair.

But she can't keep it in. It's clawing in her throat and nagging in her brain, basically begging her to let it all out  – to set it all free. The fire won't extinguish without it; it'll build and build like a house fire, taking neighboring homes with it. Never to extinguish. "I don't?" she echoes. "You mean – when you ran off to your death for that fucking Pogue instead of just staying like I asked  –?"

"It wasn't like that!" Sarah suddenly says, letting her arms fall to her sides. She's sure Sarah's friends outside can hear the commotion from out there at this point because there's no fucking closed windows in this place  – it's all screens that let everything besides giant bugs in.

"It was," Lani says. Her eyes begin to blur, and she absolutely hates that her anger brings tears because her throat starts to burn differently than just simple anger. It scratches and claws and basically forces you to let it out. "You chose him over your best friend  – when I literally begged you not to get involved  –"

"I needed to! I needed to leave  – to help him  –"

This is when Lani lets those tears fall — lets herself have some sort of relief. Her free hand lands on her forehead, and she just laughs. It looks fucking maniacal but what is she supposed to do? She's not understanding any of Sarah's reasoning because all she can remember are the late nights crying her fucking eyes out at the bottom of a tequila bottle over and over again. Old Lani would forgive her in a heartbeat but for some reason new Lani just can't. It's hard to do literally anything these days. Her mind doesn't run the same  – especially because she's not sober half the time. But also...Being sober makes everything so much harder. "You have no clue how fucked up it's been since you 'died,' Sarah. I needed you, and you weren't even fucking here. It's like  – super fucking heartbreaking that all I've done is think about you and you haven't even wondered how I am  –"

"Stop, Lani. Please," she begs. Tears are beginning to form in her eyes as well, but neither of them move. Sarah knows that if she were to move towards Lani she would snap. There's not really anything she can say to make it better because what's done is already done.

Instead, Lani closes her eyes briefly and inhales deeply. She can get through it  – it's fine, really. She's so sick of breaking down in front of other people but this is Sarah. Sarah, her best friend. Sarah, her first love. Fucking Sarah. So, she whispers, "...You broke my heart, Sarah."

Sarah inhales a shuddered breath. "I  – I didn't  –"

But Lani shakes her head. She can't do this right now. Her heart is physically breaking into pieces, and this is nothing like she expected it to be. She'd dream of Sarah coming back  – of the waves delivering her in one piece, and everything would return to normal right after. So yeah, maybe the waves did send her back, but it's not what they promised  – what she imagined. This isn't her best friend. It's really not. "Please don't say anything else. Please. I  – I really thought I'd be, like, happy to see you? I thought  – I thought this weight in my chest would finally be gone but it's not  –"

"You'd rather me be dead?" Sarah asks.

Lani inhales deeply because no, obviously she wouldn't want Sarah to be dead but she just doesn't understand why she doesn't feel better. Surely, the weight on her shoulders would be gone, right? Sarah is alive. She's fine. It's exactly what she wanted. So, she opens her mouth to say exactly that but is interrupted when JJ throws the doors open and stumbles inside with multiple drinks in his hands.

"Who wants to shotgun a beer with me —?" he starts to ask but then pauses when he sees the looks on their faces. "Oh, did I interrupt something?"

John B stumbles in soon after, his hand reaching for JJ to stop him from coming inside but he's too late. John B takes one look at the tears in Sarah's eyes and takes a step towards her to comfort his girlfriend. Lani can feel the fire within her start to rise again. "I'll take one," she says to JJ and grabs it from his hands.

"Lani, I don't think you should  –" Sarah starts. Lani's cheeks are still red with all the alcohol she'd had while with Rafe but she needs something else to get her through this entire situation. Never did she think this would be her life. Maybe if she gives it even the smallest chance, she'll understand what was going through Sarah's head. Right now she can't even think clearly.

So, Lani ignores her, cracking open the can and bringing it to her lips, letting the cool liquid run down her throat. JJ grins and yells, "Yeah! Party!"

Lani throws the can on the ground and goes outside then, and JJ chugs his drink right after. When he's done, Sarah looks at him with glossy eyes. "...How long has she been like that?"

JJ tilts his head with furred brows. He's, like, genuinely confused by the question. "Imagine how much it can change a person to think someone you love is dead when they're not. It's not easy. Believe me." And then he follows after Lani. Because he gets it. He wholeheartedly understands what she's saying when she talks because he's lived the same thing these past few days. Lani isn't being irrational; she's just a kid trying to figure out how to deal with all of these emotions that came unexpectedly.

JJ follows Lani outside, leaving Sarah and John B alone inside the Chateau. Lani is sitting alone, ignoring the stares of Kiara and Pope who are sitting around the fire pit. They give him a questioning look but he ignores them and approaches Lani, who had grabbed another beer and is sipping it as she looks out at the water.

"Hey...You OK?" he asks once he reaches her.

"You lied to me," she says suddenly. He feels a pang in his chest. He knows he lied to her, and he didn't want to. It really wasn't his choice. God, he was so stupid to go see her last night. He almost told her – spilled the beans and broke a promise to John B. For a girl who barely even likes him. "You knew Sarah was alive."

"I didn't until yesterday," he replies with a frown. Like it's any excuse.

"Yesterday?" she asks then. When she looks at him, her eyes are glossed over. "You mean when I literally cried my heart out to you?"

"I couldn't say anything," he says quietly.

She scoffs. "I'm sick of hearing that."

"Look, I wanted to tell you  – I did, but they didn't want me to tell anyone," he says. "For safety reasons."

Her throat burns again. This is such a shit night. It didn't turn out at all how she imagined. "I just  – I want to trust you, JJ. I do. But you need to give me a reason to."

"...I know."

She doesn't say anything after that – doesn't know what to say. She has so many thoughts running through her head all at once, talking over each other and shouting so loudly that she can't think straight.

"How can I make you trust me?" he asks then.

That catches her off guard, and she looks up at him. His eyes are soft, watching her every movement. He's serious. "I don't know. Maybe start with not lying to me."

"Don't lie to you, OK," he says with a sharp nod. "I'll never lie again. Ever."

She wants to laugh at how stupid he is but she can't bring herself to. She's just tired. "That's all I ask."

"Starting now."

She sighs. "...Yeah. Please."

"OK, so I have a few things I've lied about then," he says, chugging the remainder of his drink. "You know, to clear the air...Or whatever."

"Oh, great."

"Just let me say them, yeah?"

"OK."

Then, he sighs deeply and crushes his can, throwing it somewhere on the ground before stuffing his hands into his pockets. His shoulders involuntarily raise as he does so, and she can see Pope and Kiara watching them from the fire pit behind them. "I wasn't just walking for fun last night. I was looking for you – wanted to see how you were."

"You're already told me that –"

"Shh, no interrupting."

"Sorry."

Then, he sighs again. He looks at the water, avoiding her eyes entirely. "I think you're really cool – super fun to hang out with...I've never hated you – not even when I told you I did last year after you yelled at me when you fired my dad...I think you're, like, smokin' –"

"JJ, please –"

"What did I say, Lani?" he says. She crosses her arms over her chest, biting her lip. She finds it endearing, really – everything he's saying to try to make her feel better. "Anyway, I really want to punch your stupid brother in the face...I still think you purposely broke your boat to hang out with me –"

"OK, JJ, I get it. You can stop now."

"That's all I had anyway," he says. His shoulders fall in relief. "Phew, the air feels clear, doesn't it?"

"You're an idiot." She laughs softly. "But thank you."

"Anytime."

So, yeah, she may feel mostly like shit but for some reason JJ Maybank can make her feel better no matter what he does. And that thought alone is terrifying.

AN: if I see any Lani slander, it's all hands on deck bros😤😤like I am so not kidding😤

This chapter unintentionally LONG, but I won't apologize for it. I hope you enjoyed it!!!

The attached gif was created by me, so please don't steal it. If you'd like to see the entire gifset, it is on my tumblr which is linked in my bio!

What did you think about her interaction with Sarah? Do you understand where she's coming from?

How about her conversation w JJ?🦋